I want to smoke, but I don't

[MichelleDoesntSmoke]

This is the age old dilemma....for me, at least. I hesitated to post this because I know all the reasons to not smoke...I dont think anyone could say something that I didn't know, or hadn't heard before. Then I thought about how I haven't had a successful quit yet, so obviously what I've been doing so far hasn't worked. So, on to trying something new.

 

I took a little nap and woke up craving a smoke. That isn't new. My cravings are always strongest upon waking up. I am leaving in a few hours to a 12-Step meeting where a couple of friends of mine are celebrating sobriety birthdays. So many of those friends smoke, and smoking is so accepted in my recovery circle, that I am concerned about being able to stay smoke free through it....to the point that I am considering staying home. Ugh. I dont want to smoke....but I do....but I mostly don't. Thought I'd vent.

[Still winning]

My friend is smober (smoking) and sober (drinking) and she said the same. The 12 steps, seem to smoke. 

 

Well like her, you did one, now you face the other and you already KNOW your strength. 

 

Vent away!! I wish oneistoo, or aine or julie frequented this site, but they have moved past all and are dealing.

 

The merry go round, I want to smoke, I don't smoke, oh yeah, I want to smoke, I don't smoke, oh yeah....is normal for a lot of us! The change we added was arguing our own brain. Sounds odd but some of us did it and we won!! 

 

Want to smoke...hell no I don't and I won't.... 

 

So.Write a list of reasons why you don't want to. Keep it with you and read it when the thought attacks you. You're gonna fire some ammo right back at those thoughts. Start writing out a list of treats for quitting. You spent money on those cancer sticks and you have earnt the right to spend it better! Treating ourself for staying quit is a vital componant.. Are you mantra driven? Create one for YOUR scenario. A quick "go to" thought when you are being driven mad by thoughts. I deserve better, I'm worth more, For fred down the road...whatever is YOUR thing. Have a bottle of water and a healthy (or not) snack. You wouldn't believe how many craves start cause you're actually hungry or thirsty but never actually dealt with those feelings without drugging it with nicotine!

 

You are doing AMAZING!!

 

x

[Tink]

You are still in withdraw so it's natural to be craving, normally I would say avoid a situation with smokers in the early days but with you going to a meeting, only you can make that decision to stay in

 

If it wouldn't affect you to miss this week in your step programme I would stay home I'm sure your friends would understand, but again you are best to be judge, is there online step programme if needed?

 

Posting is good x

[MichelleDoesntSmoke]

Thank you both. I am feeling better, especially after listening to some Joel Spitzer (gonna listen to some more after this post)

 

I am going to stay home. Hopefully they understand. And if they dont, they are just going to have to deal. I know its best for me. Besides this cough of mine is hanging on from a cold that is long gone. Its raining out and I think it will do me good to stay dry and warm, reading lots of stuff about quitting!

 

You guys are the BEST!! Mwwwahhh!! Thank you!!

[El Bandito]

Hey MDS

 

Sometimes, when all else fails, brute force and ignorance are the best way.

 

You won't smoke because you are a stubborn cus.

 

That works too.

[JackiMac]

Hi, the addiction can be loud, I've learnt over the last year and two relapses to be louder than the addiction, to want to really succeed at this, to realise that the cravings are going to happen because I inflicted this on myself and I need to face up to them, be stronger than the addiction, you literally have a one to one conversation with the addiction but you can and you will overcome if you have the will to succeed.,  Also I don't want to die.... its simple really NOT ONE PUFF EVER, and you are doing absolutely fantastic, always remember to give yourself a pat on the back, and celebrate each step you take, because do you know why, you deserve to xxx

[MichelleDoesntSmoke]

Thx u guys! El Bandito u made me laugh thx.

 

This board is no joke. U guys are hard core!!!

[beacon]

Hi Michelle, good for you on your new quit. In the beginning it was for me white knucle, not today , hour by hour , until I went to sleep. Will your sober friends help you not smoke if you ask them at your meeting?

[Colleen]

Michelle,

Something that can be helpful is to be proactive and think of any difficult situations that might make you vulnerable to the addiction.  Finishing tasks were a big one for me, when I quit I would pop a piece of gum in my mouth instead of smoking.  Chew gum, drink water or do the chicken dance.  It doesn't matter, as long as it works.  Anything is better than smoking :)

[Gabby]

Welcome Michelle

[Ramona]

Hi Michelle,

 

I too attend 12 step groups for my alcoholism. One of these meetings is HEAVILY populated by smokers. I totally understand what you're going through and I think it's a good idea to take some time off from the meetings. It's incredibly difficult to walk through that "camaraderie cloud"!!! Smoking butts seems to be a major way people bond in recovery (that and sugar & coffee). But you are entering a whole new tier of recovery.

 

As for me - I'm actually changing my sobriety date from my booze date (March 7th 2011) to my smoking date (Nov 6 2014). I'm doing this because I'm experiencing a whole new level of recovery. This is REAL. This is honest. Of course I won't openly admit this to the groups - and I'd never tell anyone else they should do the same. It just feels like the right thing to do FOR ME. Booze was divinely removed but nicotine was NOT.

 

Blessings and courage to you on this journey!!!!

[cpk]

One of the founders of AA died from smoking related disease. Just sayin...smober attitude might not be bad thing to talk up...and setting a new date of freedom that includes freedom from smoking sounds really great...