Not Getting easier

[cpk]

I'm not posting an SOS because I have no desire to smoke. However, today feels like the worst day yet, and it's day 70. I don't even know why I am posting. I'm not crying or yelling or running around crazy. I just don't feel right. I have a lot of chest discomfort. In the past 10 weeks I have periods where it gets really bad, and afterwards when I look back I think it's related to stress. Not outside stress. I just don't feel well physically, then I start to stress about my health in a way I must have repressed when I smoked. I have good days. I just can't string a bunch of them together. On other sites and health related blogs I read what others have to say about not smoking. I can only say that I relate to everything others talk about. However, on the sites NOT DEDICATED to quitting people talk about getting to 5, 6, or 7 months and needing to smoke to be able to function. Of course, they get momentary relief, but then are hooked. That's so insane, and I can't even think about it. It does feel right now like I'm between a rock and hard place, though.

 

All I can say is that this is harder than ever before, and scary. I would have thought by week 10 I would be "over" all quit symptoms. I have done a lot of research, but it doesn't really help.

 

All I can think is that it's all about time. The more time I put behind me the better it will be.

 

I really don't think I am romancing smoking.

 

It's more like I am over-thinking, getting really depressed about everything, not handling stress very well. I have dark circles under my eyes from not sleeping well. I'm just a mess.

 

I've started jog/walk, but my chest hurts, so it's slow.

 

I'm really feeling sorry for myself. I don't do well with therapy or medications so I don't think that will help.

 

On the "good" days I don't see that I am doing anything differently than on the "bad" days. It all seems very random. I can say for certain I have never gone through anything like this in my life. No other quit has been this hard. There's no pattern except it does seem that every week I feel my worst around my quit day, which is a Wednesday. But that seems insane.

 

I guess this isn't an SOS about relapsing, but I really feel bad...maybe anxiety...dry mouth...sort of shaky...muscles aches. Since I went online and compared what others wrote elsewhere, I guess I feel everything I am experiencing is within a "normal range" -- but it does feel very, very extreme.

 

It feels anything but normal.

 

I have heard that sometimes people even go to the hospital Emergency Room when they get this way. They are usually given a mild sedative, and told to see their doctor as soon as possible. So when I think of going to the E.R. I just pass on it because it won't really help.

 

This is terrible, and horrible. Please tell me that my one year quit this will all be behind me. If I know it will stop being so hard and painful at some point I can manage to go on.

 

Thank you.

[beacon]

Hmm, sorry to hear this.

 

IIn any case. Two months is early . If I recall, i was Over It at two months, angry, cranky. My gums started to bleed. I remember being at Target and coming home in a rage because I could not smoke or eat fattening foods.

 

 

 

On the other hand, is it really worse than before? Looking back don't you feel some what better? A little? List here some positve things you have experienced if it would help.

 

 

Hang on. I promise it takes time. By the way you do not need to smoke to function. Those people are telling lies. You are like us . You will function right now not at your best but you will function. You will soon function back to normal.

 

Do you want to go to your dr for a physical so that you will know you are in good health but just fighting the nico demon?

[beacon]

Ps as far as the er, my dr did offer me a mild sedative when I told him I was quitiing. Knowing that I LOVE becoming addicted to such things, I passed. But why not visit your dr to discuss options to help you?

 

As far as promising, I promise. Look at all the people here with a year or more telling you it will be fine. We were just like you

[Gabby]

Hi CKP

 

What's gone wrong you were doing so well.  I felt anxiety when I stopped, but I always feel anxiety before and after, I went to the doctors to get something to help me thru nothing wrong in doing that.  So many changes when we stop smoking tight chest.  I only run if someone is chasing me, may a walk fast if I really try.  You have to look after yourself like never before as stopping brings up so much other things that could be going on in your life. I floating around to day if you want to pm me.  Most of all hang on Chicky

[DCCXXVII]

I just want to send you a virtual but a very real hug cpk  :wub:

 

At 10 weeks... I want to remind you that you are past all the physical withdrawal symptoms of quit smoking

 

You are approaching the 3 months mark and much of what you are feeling emotionally will pass and is quit normal

 

Quit smoking is the gift that keeps on giving over time

 

You already have better blood circulation to your extremities i.e. finger and toes... your lungs are already healing and risk of heart attach is already reduced

 

Please go back to your list of why you quit and look at the benefits you have already experienced on the list... your mind is in a fog just atm

 

Trust me/us... it does get better sweetie  ;)

[beacon]

http://youtu.be/jDJo1vfEqlo

[beacon]

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-life-lessons-you-only-learn-through-quitting-smoking/

[cpk]

Thanks. I can't answer Gabby's question. I do have really good times, then it just swings in the other direction. First, I'm really up, I feel good, I feel like I am in control, and then BOOM,,,my good mood starts to vanish. I guess maybe it's the addiction trying to take advantage when I am feeling good, and trying to move on with my life. I don't feel this as cravings. It's more about mood swings. Yeah, I guess that's it. Because I USED smoking to control my moods. When I would start to feel a bit of anxiety of sadness, I would smoke.

 

I seem to me unable to sustain my good moods, at this point.

 

I also feel very threatened by anxiety, stress, or irritation.

 

I sincerely don't know how you people here did it. I have so much admiration, respect, and love for you guys right now. You guys are just awesomesauce!!

 

Now I am crying, and that just pisses me off!    But I guess tears of relief are okay.  Thank you, all.  You people are real life warriors.

[Leanna]

Hey CPK,

 

Sorry to hear you're having a bad day. We've all been there. 10 weeks isn't a lot of time to get over an addiction you've had for years. When you quit smoking, your body goes through so much, both mentally and physically. It can be very draining, but trust me, it does get better. There will be good days, and there will be bad days. However, you WILL get to a point in your quit where there will be more good than bad. You will get to a point where you forget that you smoked to begin with. That's what you need to focus on. Not smoking is so much better than smoking. Give yourself time. It's a process.

 

As for the chest discomfort, that definitely sounds like stress. I have serious health anxiety and I get "chest pains" a lot. Remember to breathe and please, DO NOT GOOGLE YOUR SYMPTOMS! You will turn yourself into a miserable wreck. Trust me on this. 

[cpk]

Ps as far as the er, my dr did offer me a mild sedative when I told him I was quitiing. Knowing that I LOVE becoming addicted to such things, I passed. But why not visit your dr to discuss options to help you?

 

As far as promising, I promise. Look at all the people here with a year or more telling you it will be fine. We were just like you

I will talk to my doctor but she is really into lifestyle changes. I agree, but it's harder. But if I continue to feel like a basket case I will have to revisit medication, because I am not going to give up on this quit. Thank you.

[cpk]

Hey CPK,

 

Sorry to hear you're having a bad day. We've all been there. 10 weeks isn't a lot of time to get over an addiction you've had for years. When you quit smoking, your body goes through so much, both mentally and physically. It can be very draining, but trust me, it does get better. There will be good days, and there will be bad days. However, you WILL get to a point in your quit where there will be more good than bad. You will get to a point where you forget that you smoked to begin with. That's what you need to focus on. Not smoking is so much better than smoking. Give yourself time. It's a process.

 

As for the chest discomfort, that definitely sounds like stress. I have serious health anxiety and I get "chest pains" a lot. Remember to breathe and please, DO NOT GOOGLE YOUR SYMPTOMS! You will turn yourself into a miserable wreck. Trust me on this. 

Okay, Leanna. You got it. I've developed intense health anxiety!!! I think the chest thing must be related to stress. I mean, partly. I have been spending hours goggling symptoms!!! There you go. Nothing I am experiencing is getting worse. I just want things to get better more quickly. Thank you for responding. All your advice is really perfect for my situation. I definitely have been stuck. Bless you, girl! This helps.

[Leanna]

Okay, Leanna. You got it. I've developed intense health anxiety!!! I think the chest thing must be related to stress. I mean, partly. I have been spending hours goggling symptoms!!! There you go. Nothing I am experiencing is getting worse. I just want things to get better more quickly. Thank you for responding. All your advice is really perfect for my situation. I definitely have been stuck. Bless you, girl! This helps.

I am the worst at Googling my symptoms. My boyfriend has threatened to block all the health sites/forums because I have convinced myself several times that something is seriously wrong with me. Stay away from Google for sure. It is your worst enemy. Stress anxiety can really do a number on you. When I'm stressed, I have chest pains, difficulty breathing, and my fingers/hands go numb. I start thinking it's my heart because heart issues run in my family and I freak out even more, causing more stress on my heart!

 

Just breathe, relax, and keep yourself distracted. Keep telling yourself it's just health anxiety and it will go away. 

[cpk]

I have health anxiety. Now I am sure of it.

 

Yes, guys,  my health has improved. I stopped coughing almost immediately. When I smoked I had headaches and they went away. I could barely walk, and now I can walk several hours at a stretch. I had a lot of fatigue when I smoked. Now maybe I have more energy and it's turning into anxiety. Leanna, I promise not to search any health issues for one month. This will be REALLY HARD FOR ME. I have a tight chest, and heaviness, but I will try more deep breathing. Nothing is getting worse.I think it's anxiety. I think I need to prove to myself in real life that I actually am getting better physically. I would like to jog/walk, but my lungs aren't yet ready...

[queen greenlover]

Its good you are here asking for help.so many take the easy/slider way out & just give in, BUT every time you give in & have to go back to day zero it hits you between the eyes what a "dumass" thing it was to smoke. Sure ALL of us wished for a magic wand/potion to make time go faster & get to that promised land of easier on you quit time & it will come to you just like it did to me & others. NONE of us would be cig free for months/yrs if it always sucked. Keep forcusing on the future.

[bakon]

Go lick a window and quit blaming smoking. Your cracky because your cranky. Your tired because you tired. It is not quit related, your just in a funk.

 

Pull your panties up and march on...into the kitchen and get something like a tea to calm yourself. Go sit in the tub. Quit trying so hard to quit.

 

Its easy now, you beat the urges, now enjoy the life where things smell good, you look good and your breath don't smell like a dogs ass.

 

Quiting is not half the work your making it. Seriously wrapped too tight around it. You should be sliding easy now and trust me you are no special flower. We all quit. We were all cranky. But we all got better. Your not because your not letting yourself.

 

Listen we are all snowflakes being different in our lives and thoughts. But we all melt the same way. Too much anything can get you down or make you run. Your QUIT is YOURS, but its not harder because your crazy or genetically different and react to quitting much different than all the rest of the people in here. Your the exception to the rules? People with much more difficulties than they show are in here. Much more personal problems and excuses are hidden here or don't use them. Bad kids, husbands, jobs are risk factors which many have bound over. They took those problems and said if I can beat that I can beat this too.

 

So maybe you got something else going on, something holding you back. But its not smoking any more. Your way past that problem. Say it out loud to remind yourself....I don't smoke.   when it sticks your quit will be easier because the quit wont be the focus of your problems. Maybe you don't have any, maybe you got a cold or flu, maybe your nuts (like most women) and are just looking for a reason. I will give you the reason....

 

Women are nuts because.......................

[cpk]

Go lick a window and quit blaming smoking. Your cracky because your cranky. Your tired because you tired. It is not quit related, your just in a funk.

 

Pull your panties up and march on...into the kitchen and get something like a tea to calm yourself. Go sit in the tub. Quit trying so hard to quit.

 

Its easy now, you beat the urges, now enjoy the life where things smell good, you look good and your breath don't smell like a dogs ass.

 

Quiting is not half the work your making it. Seriously wrapped too tight around it. You should be sliding easy now and trust me you are no special flower. We all quit. We were all cranky. But we all got better. Your not because your not letting yourself.

 

Listen we are all snowflakes being different in our lives and thoughts. But we all melt the same way. Too much anything can get you down or make you run. Your QUIT is YOURS, but its not harder because your crazy or genetically different and react to quitting much different than all the rest of the people in here. Your the exception to the rules? People with much more difficulties than they show are in here. Much more personal problems and excuses are hidden here or don't use them. Bad kids, husbands, jobs are risk factors which many have bound over. They took those problems and said if I can beat that I can beat this too.

 

So maybe you got something else going on, something holding you back. But its not smoking any more. Your way past that problem. Say it out loud to remind yourself....I don't smoke.   when it sticks your quit will be easier because the quit wont be the focus of your problems. Maybe you don't have any, maybe you got a cold or flu, maybe your nuts (like most women) and are just looking for a reason. I will give you the reason....

 

Women are nuts because.......................

I DO have other problems. I'm not going to spill all my beans on a public forum. However, what you say is true. The quit started out as something I wanted to get out of the way so I could improve the rest of my life. Now the quit is like a Paper Tiger. In my mind, it's big, and it roars, but maybe it's not all that strong. Made of paper. Flimsy. Poof. Easy to blow out of the way. I should just blow it out of the way. I'm not going out and looking for second hand smoke to breathe in to get a fix. I'm done with smoking.You are right. The quit is not my main problem. I'm just using it as a coat hanger. Thanks.

[Tyme2B]

Hey CPK....I just saw my Doc yesterday. We are Quit within a week of each other & like you the sleep probs, chest tightness due to anxiety are things I too have been going through. It just sucks! We are all different.I would LOVE to be one of the people here who didn't experience the crap that we both have had. My Doctor told me this is ALL normal. She prescribed Trazadone for me as a sleep aid....of course it did not work the first night like it does on most people...oh no....but my Pharmacist told me it can take a few days. Also herbal teas are relaxing....I bought some today. Yoga is recommended....the Nurse at my Doc's office suggested lying on your back on the floor with your butt against the wall and your feet up the wall.....hold this position for 10 minutes for sleep assistance. Did it tonight & I am sleepy! Weird but if it works great & I will join a yoga class. My Doc says it takes 6 months to feel normal again. Some people up to a year but she assured me it gets better. We don't realize how much better we are physically when the mental anxiety & insomnia hit.....but she assures me it gets better. It really is a shame your Doc won't help you to maintain a Quit.....why don't you say that to her? Check with a natural treatment product store....they have teas to treat anxiety & Melatonin which is a part of our normal brain chemistry needed for sleep. It works! And see your Doc about the chest tightness..it will put you at ease to have it checked out & perhaps your Doc will help.....thinking of you! Sending you cyber hugs xx

[Tyme2B]

And PS: life is never easy.....coat hanger or not your quit affects your normal coping. Look after YOU. You are worth the same effort you are giving your Quit. Remember that! I had to be reminded of that too!

[JackiMac]

CPK stop being so hard on yourself my lovely, I suffer from major depression and anxiety, life's leftovers unfortunately and take medication to help me, doesn't mean I am weak and not able to deal with any of life's stresses any less efficiently but I just need a little bit of help, a trip to your doctor would be adviseable as sometimes we all need that little bit of extra help to get us through.  As a typical woman and something I can relate to, we also over analyse life, and I think that is what you are doing just now.  Can I ask you to STOP, take a minute for you, let life wash over you and take a step back, when I quit last year, I over analysed every single day, looking for quit related problems, until it took over my life, don't allow this to happen, life is difficult sometimes and coupled with quitting smoking it can become difficult, remember you are doing something that is wonderful and is going to benefit you long term, it will take time, there is no magic wand to make the quitting process any easier, but you can help yourself make life a little more bearable, do not suffer any longer than you have to, talking to your GP will help, I did last year and just had an appt yesterday, helps put a few things into prospective.  You have subjected your mind and body to abuse when you were smoking it will take time for your mind and body to heal, just remember that CPK ok, even treat yourself to a nice hot bubble bath, take time for you, time to enjoy life for what it is, a blessing, something not to be taken for granted.  I am walking this journey with you every step of the way and we will get there xxx

[Rob]

Regarding chest tightness, glad others are experiencing this as well (in the sense that what I've been experiencing probably isn't life threatening). Over the past couple of weeks I've had instances where I am feeling short of breath, even when idle. Hope it's just anxiety/recovery process as googling symptoms - as suggested - is scary business!

[bakon]

My chest never got tight. My pants did though

[Tink]

I'm sorry you are feeling so crappy but I'm so pleased you posted about it, that is how you are going to hold this quit, symptoms wether quit related or life related it's so easy to go back to what we believed helped us or blame the quit and just get so tired of it all as it can be exhausting in the beginning!

 

We see how much you want this cpk and it does sound like your life and health anxieties are making this quit harder

 

I am not a lover of medicines it's just a personal thing for me I try to deal with stress and anxiety through more natural resourses

 

A few years back I was holding onto a lot of anger, guilt and baggage and I happened upon a business card for a lady hypnotist, I was thinking of quitting smoking at the time and this was one service she offered so I booked an appointment

 

Her room was filled with crystals and skulls and I thought oh hello what's going on here then, turns out she was a spiritual healer, reiki,sound,crystals etc I had never heard of such things before but was intrigued

 

She told me I was holding onto alot of stuff - yeah no s... Sherlock ;)

 

She said I should try alternate therapies

 

So I did, although sceptical at first I was willing to give it a try

 

Turns out it was the best thing I ever did, I still practise what I learned today

 

Point to my ramble, there is always an alternative, I would recommend going to your doctor for a general check up just to put your mind at ease

 

You are already looking at doing the exercising, maybe look at your diet see if any improvements can be made you can Google that but as leanna says stay off the self analysing sites and then maybe try some alternative therapies

 

Something will resonate with you they cannot do any harm

 

I can only advise from my own experiences, but that's why this site works as everyone is different and has so many different experiences

 

It's time for cpk to let go and be well in mind and body, your quit was the spring board for this journey you are on now

 

The only way from here is up, this is the beginning of a new you it does and will get better I promise xx

[DCCXXVII]

My chest never got tight. My pants did though

 

:girl_dance:

 

[cpk]

I'm sorry you are feeling so crappy but I'm so pleased you posted about it, that is how you are going to hold this quit, symptoms wether quit related or life related it's so easy to go back to what we believed helped us or blame the quit and just get so tired of it all as it can be exhausting in the beginning!

 

We see how much you want this cpk and it does sound like your life and health anxieties are making this quit harder

 

I am not a lover of medicines it's just a personal thing for me I try to deal with stress and anxiety through more natural resourses

 

A few years back I was holding onto a lot of anger, guilt and baggage and I happened upon a business card for a lady hypnotist, I was thinking of quitting smoking at the time and this was one service she offered so I booked an appointment

 

Her room was filled with crystals and skulls and I thought oh hello what's going on here then, turns out she was a spiritual healer, reiki,sound,crystals etc I had never heard of such things before but was intrigued

 

She told me I was holding onto alot of stuff - yeah no s... Sherlock ;)

 

She said I should try alternate therapies

 

So I did, although sceptical at first I was willing to give it a try

 

Turns out it was the best thing I ever did, I still practise what I learned today

 

Point to my ramble, there is always an alternative, I would recommend going to your doctor for a general check up just to put your mind at ease

 

You are already looking at doing the exercising, maybe look at your diet see if any improvements can be made you can Google that but as leanna says stay off the self analysing sites and then maybe try some alternative therapies

 

Something will resonate with you they cannot do any harm

 

I can only advise from my own experiences, but that's why this site works as everyone is different and has so many different experiences

 

It's time for cpk to let go and be well in mind and body, your quit was the spring board for this journey you are on now

 

The only way from here is up, this is the beginning of a new you it does and will get better I promise xx

Saying kinda what bakon said but in such a nice way that makes it easy on the ear...thanks

[cpk]

Thank you. I think the advice to enjoy the benefits of the quit is good. I did just revise my diet because during the past 10 weeks I didn't pay close attention...and I am taking vitamins now. Thank you for all you suggestions...they were all greatly appreciated.