Gabby

[Tink]

Come here and moan all you like and need that's why it's here in fact you need to be about more at the moment and news flash you are no less or no more addicted than the rest of us

 

We all need a kick up the butt sometimes but it's done with love x

[El Bandito]

Hey Gabby.

 

There is no fence.

 

You smoke or you don't.

 

You can't smoke just at the beach or on nights out. You can't smoke just for the summer.

 

You smoke or you don't.

 

Your friends are enjoying the sun, the beach, the time off and each other's company. They are specifically NOT thinking about smoking, because if they do, then they have to come out with the same lies that you and I used to tell ourselves.

 

You quit Gabby. You did it. You freed yourself of an addiction that gives nothing and kills people.

 

Don't torment yourself. Be happy. You deserve it.

 

For all the pleasure that smoking a cigarette would give you, you may as well stick one up your arse.

 

You are in charge Gabby. You beat the addiction.

[Still winning]

You know people are here to help support others quit, timelines don't matter. I worry that you think because you think of smoking you're quit is doomed to the depths of smoking sooner or later. I think, that's your previous quits talking and your inner junkie and addicted nature is really playing on, "hey we'll just do it again". But Gabby, why bother, you are already quit. You arejust dealing with errant thoughts and not anything more. YOU are giving those thoughts power rather than questioning them because for some weird reason, you think it might be better/easier (unsure of motivator to be honest) to just smoke.

 

But you're a non smoker...so smoking isn't on the table anymore. There are some eureka moments in a quit for sure, but there's a whole lot of plodding that no one really speaks to much of. I had these thoughts from time to time. My buddy had these thoughts from time to time. The only difference I can see is together we made a choice to NOPE no matter what. So the thoughts took less power because no matter how strong or convincing the lie was, we'd promised we would march past it. Couple of weeks ago I found a packet of cigs with a lighter in the car I share with my mum. I honestly thought better take that back in the house before I go in case I'm tempted..like what the hell was that?! But it happened. So I dealt with it and moved on with my day, a few curses but nowt serious. No big deal - unless I choose to make it a big deal and that's my point. Of course we have associations to smoking, we smoked for years! 

 

I tend to ramble but my point is you get to choose. I think you could do worse then tell yourself it's done, let yourself feel grumpy about that if that's what happens. We often miss the sheer addiction part of this addiction. Pleased to hear you're plodding through. For my part can I suggest like others say a bit more chatting on the board time and start acknowledging some good bits the quit has brought you. Unexpected benefits, financial gains, whatever comes to mind.

 

Lastly a quit for financial reasons is not to be sneezed at your side of the world. NZ and Aus have gone big on pricing smoking out of the market. Those friends of yours who were "having a lovely time" are mostly not as happy go lucky as you see and they're probably skint for the rest of this month too! Remember how that side of the fence felt, yes you could repress it at times but that niggling "I should be quit, I want to quit, why am Ismoking, I can't afford this, I'm going without on so many levels to sustain this".... you remember all of those right??

 

Sending strength and love chick, it's tough at times but I believe in you and how wonderful this quit will feel when you let it sink in. xx

[babs609]

It's just my addict brain working over time.  I even have it in my head that maybe I'm more addicted than most. HaHa

definitely addict thinking....but something is stopping you from listening to that thought...something brings you back here.  That something is....that you want to stay quit MORE than you want to smoke.  That's it in a nutshell.  You. Will. Not. Smoke.  

This is just a test...a last ditch effort for that SOB addict brain to try to get a hold on you.  The more energy you give to these random thoughts...the stronger they become.  Instead...change the self talk.  Make YOUR resolve stronger...turn it around.

"I am on the fence..."  follow up with  "that's ridiculous!  I am a non smoker...there is no fence"--then brush it away like nonsense....repeat this over and over.  It's not going to work the first time because you have already given that damn addict brain your attention.  You need to turn it around now.  It takes time, but soon you will believe your own thoughts...not the addict thoughts.

 

Social situations....you must have some non-smoking friends in the mix..no??  I still have smoking friends..but also non smoking friends....and family..2 family members and 1 friend of mine quit after me because they said I inspired them..that is what will happen in your life too.  Don't think they aren't watching you...because they are.  They are secretly watching you and inspired by you...show them how great it feels to be smoke free.  You are free Gabby....they are not. They are in prison, looking out..wishing they didn't smoke.  Show them that it's wonderful to be out of that hell hole.

[babs609]

PS-I love this thread

 

:wub:  :wub:  :wub:  :wub:  :wub:  :wub:

 

I'm feeling the love

[Runfree]

I was thinking along the lines of what EL B and Babs mentioned.  These friends appear to be so relaxed and having fun and are not crabby because they're sitting in a 4 hour or so time frame with no limitations put upon them.  They can smoke when they want, right?  But that span of time and event will end and THEN what?  Those addicts will be faced with the gripping, stifling, panic driven thinking life of a smoker!  They'll be trapped in that prison of panic and anxiety and won't be feeling so relaxed nor having fun.  And guess who will be the crabby ones then?  

 

It won't be you.

[ChRiSpY]

Hmmmm..... you need to change your mind....the way you think.

 

You have quit smoking for 10 months and you are still on the fence.  WTF????  Stop being such a *****!  

 

You have done something amazing!!!  Something others struggle with and fail repetitivily.  

 

YOU SHOULD FEEL PROUD OF YOURSELF...YOU SHOULD BE ON TOP OF THE WORLD.... YOU SHOULD BE DOING ALL THE STUFF THAT YOU DID NOT DO OR COULD NOT DO BEFORE!!!

 

Where is your confidence?  

 

Half full or half empty... how do you want to live your life???

 

Keep on .....gettin' going!!!

[Gabby]

I'm back on the right side of the fence today, thank you all your posts have settled me back down again I needed to hear all your wise words. I am feeling the love :wub:

[Nancy]

I'm back on the right side of the fence today, thank you all your posts have settled me back down again I needed to hear all your wise words. I am feeling the love :wub:

Fabulous news!!!

[Gabby]

Every time I feel wobbly I am going to come here to this thread and read all your wise words, it will be my personal advise from wonderful people.  My non smoking friends.

[Rob]

Glad you're feeling better :) nicotine has scewed up our though-process. Can't stand the smell of smokers anymore. The thoughts don't match the reality. #addiction!

[cpk]

FEEL THE LOVE, BABY, FEEL THE LOVE!

 

                                                           :wub: :girl_pinkglassesf: :friends:                              :heart:                                        :party2: :girl_haha:

[Doreensfree]

Brilliant gabby.....your going to win this war....xx

[El Bandito]

Great stuff Gabby.

 

Don't beat yourself up. We spent years learning how 'great' smoking is. It takes a while to unlearn that. There are always going to be moments when a trigger/crave/thought pops into the head.

 

Still happens to me.

 

Trick is not to sweat it. I laugh, dismiss the thought and get on with having fun.

 

You are doing great Gabby, you really are.

[Markus]

.

[Ramona]

There are some eureka moments in a quit for sure, but there's a whole lot of plodding that no one really speaks to much of. I had these thoughts from time to time. My buddy had these thoughts from time to time. 

 

 

 

100% agree with this statement.  Footwork and patience.

[bakon]

Gabby is a window licker Queen sitting on fence at 10 months. I read your post and seems you don't miss smoking.... You miss being included. Think you weren't really on fence. You were in another field from those you miss hanging with. You aren't welcome back either. Sorry but that is over. Make new connections with them or make new people but realize even if you started again you wouldn't fit here. Not that we are better, but we really are. So go buy the new kid rock cd and play last song real loud for them if they can't fit you in without slowly getting cancer, bad teeth and breath and stepping on your neck while sharing a story or laugh with you...

 

Song is FOAD. Ironic part is cover is nice pair of lady lips all lipsticked up and a cancer shitstick

F. Off And Die. Nice end of relationship song

[cpk]

Gabby is a window licker Queen sitting on fence at 10 months. I read your post and seems you don't miss smoking.... You miss being included. Think you weren't really on fence. You were in another field from those you miss hanging with. You aren't welcome back either. Sorry but that is over. Make new connections with them or make new people but realize even if you started again you wouldn't fit here. Not that we are better, but we really are. So go buy the new kid rock cd and play last song real loud for them if they can't fit you in without slowly getting cancer, bad teeth and breath and stepping on your neck while sharing a story or laugh with you...

 

Song is FOAD. Ironic part is cover is nice pair of lady lips all lipsticked up and a cancer shitstick

F. Off And Die. Nice end of relationship song

"Not that we are better, but we really are."

 

Maybe better off than, but not better than. You can inspire your friends, and maybe they will join you. Stay strong, for yourself, and your loved ones.

[cpk]

Hall of Shame Award, KR

[Tyme2B]

Gabby....there is no such thing as "not being able to come on this site to moan & complain" and there is no such thing as "I should be over this by now". There are days we have to be stronger than on others for many reasons, not just smoking. And do you know what I have been through at not even 3 months yet? You don't want to go back.....it gets harder every ti,e you try to quit....many of us know that all too well. You have accomplished 10 months of freedom from something that kills 50% of the people who choose to use this drug! I think you need to find a way to join your smoking friends but not smoke....chewing on a stick of licorice? Maybe drinking a bottle of water with a straw? Something to fight off that hand & mouth habit but not lighting anything up. You are feeling left out.....not one of the group....but this is not a good reason to smoke again. Trust me! I have 40 yrs of regret to deal with....I wish I had Quit a long time ago. I feel left out too as I have friends who smoke....the licorice works for me....find a replacement & join your friends. Just keep saying NOPE. I would be thrilled to be as far along in my Quit as you! I truly would....I never, ever want to do this again. Hugs & good luck :)

[cpk]

Gabby....there is no such thing as "not being able to come on this site to moan & complain" and there is no such thing as "I should be over this by now". There are days we have to be stronger than on others for many reasons, not just smoking. And do you know what I have been through at not even 3 months yet? You don't want to go back.....it gets harder every ti,e you try to quit....many of us know that all too well. You have accomplished 10 months of freedom from something that kills 50% of the people who choose to use this drug! I think you need to find a way to join your smoking friends but not smoke....chewing on a stick of licorice? Maybe drinking a bottle of water with a straw? Something to fight off that hand & mouth habit but not lighting anything up. You are feeling left out.....not one of the group....but this is not a good reason to smoke again. Trust me! I have 40 yrs of regret to deal with....I wish I had Quit a long time ago. I feel left out too as I have friends who smoke....the licorice works for me....find a replacement & join your friends. Just keep saying NOPE. I would be thrilled to be as far along in my Quit as you! I truly would....I never, ever want to do this again. Hugs & good luck :)

Great post. I will never ever ever ever ever retrace these steps. Each step forward is a day of this early quit done/dusted. Tomorrow 10 weeks. Such a infant quit. :flirt:

[Tyme2B]

NOPE means never smoking again and even more....NEVER going through this Quit again....I totally agree with CPK...never, ever. Every minute, hour, day & month we are Quit is a gift....a blessing....a gift of life to ourselves. Yes, WE on this site are your friends.your REAL friends because we care about YOU. We all have bad days in the first months....come talk to us for support, suggestions, heart & honesty.....we will never let you down Gabby.

I have had a rough go so far but thanks to members here who even send PM's....I am still smoke free. I am truly overwhelmed by the caring here! Amazing people! WE ALL are special! You had a bad day....don't worry....we all do....and coming here on your bad day was a smart move. You will be ok!