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Posted

160 days. 5 months...1 week...2 days. Did I ever smoked...? Was all of that just a dream...? When I stop and think about when I smoked it feels like some distant memory... as if maybe it happened or maybe it was a dream... I dont know. That's what it feels like now. The other day I was watching someone smoke very closely. I was intrigued. Not because I wanted one but because I was seriously interested in what was happening before me. I started thinking to myself and imagining smoking... do I remember how to flick the ash off the end of a cigarette? I don't think Id even be able to do it without looking like an awkward teenager experimenting with cigarettes for the first time. And are they really breathing that stuff in? Do I remember how to hold a cigarette correctly? I just stared at this person in front of me--it was all so strange to me...I honestly couldn't fit in my head that that used to be me. None of any of that made sense to me anymore.

A couple weeks ago someone said to me that they couldn't believe I had quit smoking and stuck with it this long. They asked how long it had been and when I said 5 months their jaw litterally dropped open. They knew I had quit and when but never really added it up. They said it was astonishing since I was always hellbent on saying I was never going to quit smoking. They asked if I think about it all the time. I was honest.... I do think about it sometimes. Never about starting again... smoking thoughts randomly pop up and then randomly disappear. They said they couldn't believe I could get this far into something that is so hard.

At that point all I could say was "hard?"

...call me crazy but out of all the things ive done so far in life or things Ive had to go through.... in the grand scheme of the beggining all the way up to now I don't think this even ranks on my list of "hard" things. Maybe on a list of initially uncomfortable things I've had to do.... but hard? I think we confuse the meaning of hard with uncomfortable.

This was the most liberating, amazing thing I've ever done for myself. It was also easy. Uncomfortable but easy. the only thing that I would define as "hard" in this situation would be continuing to smoke indefinitely. Now that would be hard and sounds downright exhausting. 

  • Like 19
Posted

excellent post Rachael!  Your attitude rocks!!!

 

I have no doubt that you will never smoke again....glad you are here to pay it forward :D :D :D

  • Like 1
Posted

...call me crazy but out of all the things ive done so far in life or things Ive had to go through.... in the grand scheme of the beggining all the way up to now I don't think this even ranks on my list of "hard" things. Maybe on a list of initially uncomfortable things I've had to do.... but hard? I think we confuse the meaning of hard with uncomfortable.

 

This was the most liberating, amazing thing I've ever done for myself. It was also easy. Uncomfortable but easy. the only thing that I would define as "hard" in this situation would be continuing to smoke indefinitely. Now that would be hard and sounds downright exhausting. 

 

Uncomfortable is the worst quitting will ever get.  Hard is not in our vocabulary. 

 

By endurance we conquer.--Sir Ernest Shackleton

  • Like 2
Posted

This is a fantastic post! :) It's baffling when you really think about it, eh? When we first quit or are thinking about quitting, we assume it's going to be SO hard. We can't possibly achieve something so "difficult." No, it's not hard... if you're serious about quitting, you will. Simple as that. The most my quit did was make me a tad uncomfortable in the beginning, like you said. Those first three days... phew. I never, ever want to go back there again. :) 

  • Like 2
Posted

Thank you, thank you, thank you! You have really helped me get off to a better start today! I want your attitude.

  • Like 1
Posted

I wonder what that Barney video says when you play it backwards?  :P … KEEP ON KEEPING ON RACHEL  :)

  • Like 2
Posted

Thank you Rachael.  I too can never imagine me smoking again - it's not what I do anymore and it is 'just not me'.

  • Like 3
Posted

Nice post and perfect to start my day on. I've been looking back a lot recently at the first weeks of quitting and honestly it does not rank any where near some of the hardest things in life I've done or been through. Sure it was difficult at first but nothing like I thought it would be. Once you know you know and smoking is just not on the table any more.

 

Good for you, so proud of you!!!

  • Like 1
Posted

What a fantastic post. It is exactly that place that I want to get to. I know it will come in time. I just have to keep climbing to get there.

 

In the past I would always get to the comfortable place in my quit. Then out of nowhere, I would let go of the rope. I would lose my quit.

 

I would never let myself to get to that inner harmony all old time quitters talk about. Well, that where I am headed. Nothing's going to stop me.

 

Excellent insight into the peace of quitting!!!!!

 

Thanks leahcaR

  • Like 2
Posted

Loving the post Rachael, so positive and true, thank you very much for sharing this with us, and can I just say...................You have an amazing quit well done

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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