Day 5 Tomorrow i need to change my mindset can you help me?

[juanrmartino]

Guys sorry for posting so much i need to vent... but im not quiting the right way

 

 

Im abstaining, Johnny 5 hit the right spot

 

Jonny5, on 10 Apr 2014 - 9:46 PM, said:

Juan, you are abstaining, meaning that you are resisting doing something that you want to do....  That is always hard, and mostly ends in you feeling hard done by, and then giving in.

 

You must change your mindset to one where you don't want to smoke.  Fuel yourself with affirmations about how good life as a healthy man will be, remind yourself of the cancers that smoking cause, there are a plethora of motivators to use.

 

when you don't want to smoke, not smoking is easy :-)  I promise you :-)

 

I just wanna share this with you guys i really need to and want to change my mindset but i find it hard to do so.

[Ladybug]

Don't be sorry! We are all proud to be part of your journey and we are proud of you!

 

I am not sure if I should answer, since I just quit myself...but for me the most accomplishments in life have something to do with the right mindset. Do I look at a glass half full or is it half empty?

 

Do I feel sad because I think I miss smoking....or do I feel joy because of how good it feels?

 

A few days ago I went to a funeral and met some people I haven't seen in a long time. Some of them were smokers and they asked all  kind of questions.  I told them my story about my invisible friend "Smokey" the nicodemon who lived on my shoulder. There was a little boy standing beside me, maybe 5-6 years old and he asked if I buried Smokey :-) I explained to him that it was just a made-up story to help me stop smoking and somebody said "you should have buried the cigarettes" to make it official.

 

I thought about it, what a marvelous idea..that's what I should have done to make it official!

[...]

Juan,

 

when you first started smoking, you had to train yourself to like it.  That first cigarette made you choke, feel dizzy and you probably couldn't finish it all the way.  Then you smoked again and again and again until you learned how to enjoy it.  You basically told your brain all the lies that smoking tells you.  It may have started out as "this is cool" or "this relaxes me"  what ever it may have been that you said to convince yourself that you liked to smoke.

 

You have to do the same thing to learn how to not smoke.  It's an uncomfortable feeling.  You just have to keep telling yourself, retraining your brain on why smoking is so bad for you.  What it really does to you.

 

This takes time.  Just like it took for you to enjoy smoking.  The longer you go without it, the more your brain will catch on. 

 

Keep on going.  Your getting there.  It's just baby steps at this point. 

[MarylandQuitter]

Juan, there is no wrong way to quit smoking.  There is only one right way and you're doing it by not smoking, staying active in a support and taking the steps to put your mind in the right place.  I know I have posted this numerous, but please watch it again because there are so many truths in this and this is what you must focus on to change your mindset.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVEyGdqwjmQ

[juanrmartino]

Juan, there is no wrong way to quit smoking.  There is only one right way and you're doing it by not smoking, staying active in a support and taking the steps to put your mind in the right place.  I know I have posted this numerous, but please watch it again because there are so many truths in this and this is what you must focus on to change your mindset.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVEyGdqwjmQ

Thanks MQ 

[El Bandito]

Juan. When I quit. I wrote down what I thought I liked about smoking.

 

Not what everybody was telling me, ie nothing, but what I really believed. Then I looked at each point, read what others said and decided for myself...

 

So, I like smoking. Really? or, as posted above, did I train myself to believe that I liked smoking?

I don't mind getting sick. Really? I spent some time learning about COPD..

money? no problem. ha! I'm Scottish!

 

Be very honest with yourself, work through each point.

 

Find YOUR answer..

 

There is only one!

[bakon]

You got to make up your own mind. Sorry but I can only lead you to the water. You got to want to drink on your own.

 

Read and get things in order.

[BAT]

[Evelyn]

No wise words, sorry but standing next to you :)

[Tink]

You have to Flick the switch Juan keep reading everything here I mean really read it, take it in there will be something that will just click for me it was "you are not giving up anything - you are quit" those few words made it so much easier for me at my 6 weeks point

 

Keep going forward - you will make it x

[Pippa]

Juan - you are right this is all mindset stuff - if you keep telling yourself you are doing things wrong - you will believe that! You need to start telling yourself you are a non smoker - and before long you will believe that too - in the interim fake it until you make it - and don't smoke !

[action]

Your mind is still trying to play tricks on you Juan.  Once you can learn what is junkie thinking and ignore it (or tell it to 'eff off) it will help.  You don't REALLY want a cigarette - your inner junkie is just telling you that you do.

 

Oh, and Ladybug, of course you hould be posting.  You are a non-smoker, I don't know what more 'experience' you need than that ;)

[Still winning]

Agreed Juan, there isn't a right or wrong way. You get the mindset from the reasons you chose not to smoke in the first place...I think that's different for all of us. Reasons for me were 2nd hand smoke in my house, money, smokers cough so I could "hear" the damage I was causing and so on and so forth. Find your reasons and that should give you the mindset. Then read!! Don't just say you are, actually read one thing a day even.  I DO NOT want a limb cut off because my circulation is too poor to carry blood to it, ewwww! I do not want my teeth to fall out! I do not want the COPD my mum has and so on...

 

By reading and learning the truth of what smoking is doing you find you don't want to smoke, but you still get thoughts - it helps you to fight those thoughts to have the reasons clear in your mind why you choose not to. 

 

Then we wait, and if we don't smoke and we wait long enough and continue with NOPE I am assured we will enjoy being a non smoker more than the days where it was a struggle.

 

And keep posting, just write and write until it all makes sense and the bad feelings have passed. xx

[soul]

I have the feeling that you know exactly what to do Juan..................

 

Remember that posting, even if 20 times a day is part of the solution!

[SueBeDoo]

Can you get hypnotherapy cds and ones with positive affirmations, were you could listen to them during your breaks, go sit under a tree or in the library or cafeteria and keep repeating you hate smoking, smoking makes you stink, causes cancer, copd, rots your teeth, throat cancer, mouth cancer etc, keep telling yourself you hate smoking, watch people smoke from a distance and see how rediculous they look, the smoke still coming out of their mouths while talking, the smell off them when they go back into the classroom, you should bring a few mandarin oranges for those short breaks, pop your head phones on and listen to relaxing hypnotherapy music or affirmations and peel and eat orange and break is over and you will be soo proud of yourself and by the third or fourth break it will be soo much easier and you will start to really not want one.

Do not let a positive smoking thought enter your head, only negative smoking thoughts are allowed and very soon you will see the wood for the trees and truely mean what you say.

Juan you know in your heart you want to be a non smoker so stay true to yourself. I have every faith in you that you can do this.

Sue xx

[sherry]

Good morning Juan,

 

You've gotten some REALLY good reply's here, great advice,... the only thing I can think to add, is maybe look at (on top of ALL the above), the habit part of smoking -  you know those false "reasons" we gave ourselves to smoke,... like, coffee and cigg go together, or talking on the phone and smoking helps me concentrate or have to have a smoke after I eat, or, got a good review at work - need a cigg to "celebrate".... all nicotine LIES!!!....

 

if you don't smoke, NOTHING happens... not sticking a cigg in your face IS the new "nothing" ... and your nicotine addicted brain try's to tell you  "It's part of me, my routine , I can't change it FEELS TO STRANGE AND I DON'T LIKE IT"..... see this for what it is... once your 72 hours nicotine free are past .. it's the - routine part - you have to see for what it is, and realize... humans are hard wired not to like being out of their comfort zone...but, that's ALL it is... it's uncomfortable - no doubt about that.. but see it for what it is.. giving it time to become the new normal was important  for me to get my quit...substitute something else for ciggs.. tooth picks, gum.. whatever works for you.. 

 

Give yourself time to get a new normal... it's worth it.. I promise!

[juanrmartino]

Thanks for the replys

 

For my part today i got up and went to the gym

[Still winning]

That's exactly how to do it. Doing things you enjoy and setting up new habits are what will stop those smoking related habits quicker! How was your breathing at the gym??  By day 5 you should have deeper breath capacity.

[NeedforSpeedHM]

Juan..... Yup, Jonny pretty much nailed it..... it is very HARD to see this early on in a quit, I battled too with the mindset looking back, but I learned to stay focused and  repeating to myself,,, YOU CAN DO IT.. YOU CAN DO IT!!! You will see over time, your brain will relearn to not "need" that addiction.. the craves, the withdrawls, the triggers..... will all go away.. Its hard work, but YOU have to do it... " Whether you think you can, or can't you are right". So focus on the CAN... because we all know you can do this... NOT ONE PUFF EVER { AGAIN}... you are the only one who can sabotage your quit, get your head in the right place.. trust in me when I tell you { OVER AND OVER} you will not always feel like this.... break the chains.

 

CONGRATS on day 5, embrace it, protect it... and protect every day. you DO have the power buddy ;)

 

 

 

 

{{{{{{{{{{{{{ JUAN }}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[IamDoingIt]

Juan, I am fresh in my quit. I can relate what you are going through. There are a few times where my AB (addicted brain) tries to trick me into believing I am missing something. I need cigarettes to fulfill something in my life. If I let that go on too long, I start romancing the cigarette. That is my biggest mistake. That is exactly why I am not 2+ years quit now.

 

Cigarettes are NOTHING! The have never done anything for you and only did things TO you......they made you stink, they stained your fingers and teeth, they give you a cough, they gave you slight headaches, they made you a little dizzy and lightheaded. What in all of that is positive? What in all of that do you miss?

 

As was stated in the video......Give me just ONE .... Only ONE ....POSITIVE thing about smoking?

[jimmy]

juan make out a list of why you quit  and read it ever day you dont want that poison anymore of the burnt cloths or the smell right  you dont want a nasty cigrette  nope   hang in there  juan 5 days is great you can do it   look at all the people here that belive in you and are giveing you great advice   grab hold of your quit and dont let go  :D 

[JackiMac]

Juan in the beginning of your quit, you mind is still trying to make you believe that you are missing out on something, but its just thoughts, believe in yourself that you can overcome the addiction at the beginning and work through each day, because it is an emotional roller coaster and some days you will be so high on life that you think you can achieve anything and then some days you will come crashing down and round fast, you need to be on your guard for the nicotine addiction to come chapping at your head, but reading and educating yourself and how the addiction works will really help you, you know you are doing this for all the right reasons and that smoking will not benefit you in any way, as time goes on you will begin to believe in this.