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No Man's Land


Markus

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Good post Marcus, I think I got in the swamp of NML with my 3 months anniversary and reached out and educated myself. I still have to take it a day, NOPE. But I'm still scared to see my WHOLE life as a non smoker... so I take it a day - a week - a month and I'm proud I'm already 3 and a half month. 
I'm glad I reached out then, glad I understand it now although it was a seasonal trigger too and bad junkie thinking. 

 

Pat on the backs of my quit friends for sticking besides me...

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I hope T. reads this. hint to friends ...

T did indeed read this post :) And yes I need friends to help me maintain my quit. I'm still nope * not struggling quite as badly as last week. Thanks Mike :)

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Well, I have only just entered this phase of the journey. In my post about entering No Man's Land I pointed to a feeling of grieving the loss of a habit that was once thought to be a comfort and solace. It is true we pick up these addictions ourselves, and need to hold ourselves accountable for throwing them down, however, those who are attracted to substances may be trying to emotionally soothe themselves, and heal real psychological wounds. So I guess part of No Man's Land is to defeat cravings while allowing feeling states to breathe. In the long run this will make for a hardier personality, and someone able to help others and pay it forward. Presently, I feel raw, depressed, sad, and solemn, and it's hard to believe I ever had a joyful thought, comforted anyone, or shared a laugh. I'm mentally, emotionally, and physically drained. I can very well see why many people drop quits between 2 and 5 months. One has to face their own idiocy, mistakes, failures, and lack of common sense...as well as betrayals, lost dreams, heartaches, and existential loneliness. But this kind of writing is really for a blog, not the board. I don't have anything more to say. I just want to grind out the third month on my own.

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  • 3 months later...

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