Hi everyone

[Rob]

Hi everyone

 

I thought I'd come out of the say hi, since I've not been around for a while... really, since my relapse. I've been lurking though. 

 

This quit is still going - the signature below is still correct. 

 

This is a bit of a problem quit for me though. Since day #1 (of attempt #2), my heart hasn't really been in it, and I've just been supressing the cravings instead of dealing with them. Now, I find myself having huge cravings a lot of the time, wishing I could smoke, eating crap instead, putting on weight, etc etc. I want to smoke, so I think of something else; my not smoking is like a depressing auto-pilot at the moment. I even feel a lot of the time like I don't like the non-smoking version of me, and I miss the old me.

 

I think the core of the problem is that I haven't properly mapped out my thinking about stopping smoking. I knew I enjoyed smoking when I stopped, so I thought the best tactic would be to just not think about it anymore. Now, it's been suppressed so long it's screaming louder than ever. It's exhausting. 

 

I know the above is basically rubbish logic, and the real solution is to probably listen to Allen Carr again (will definitely add that to the TODO!). That, or I keep up the auto-pilot and one day I might realise it's not been an issue for ages anymore.

 

Rob

 

[babs609]

Hi Rob...missed you around here...though I have seen you on....here and there.  I was wondering about your quit..and I am glad to read that you are still not smoking....

 

however............

 

yes...please Rob...stick around and read, watch, listen.

 

I think the fact that you are young makes it more of a challenge because I used to think  "well..if I quit in my 40's I should be good"

 

but, you know that's a lie and also irrelevant because smoking is just disgusting....period.  You will smell bad and taste bad and just plain gross....you are now free and no longer a slave to that little ******....never ever ever doubt your decision to quit.  Keep moving forward and get moving in general...set new goals besides the quit because that's already done..you need new goals now...anything....whatever you choose I can guarantee it is infinitely more enjoyable as a non smoker

 

 

KTQ Rob!!

[Doreensfree]

Hi and welcome back rob....really good to see you....

Congrats on that great quit too....

It's still early in your quit....your junkie brain is trying to pull you back....

Keep reading ...MQ...has put up here three episodes about the tobacco company,s...

They are so enlightening.....

Stay very close here....pledge daily....support is a great tool.....

I smoked 52 years...it is doable.....remember the golden rule....

Never take another puff....ever......no matter what....

Xxxx

[Tink]

Hi Rob great to see you :)

 

Glad.You posted

 

The trouble is it sounds like you think you are giving up something, rather than you quit

 

If you keep thinking you enjoyed it and trying not to want one, you are going to put yourself through torture and there is only so far you can fight it, I know I was going through it myself until someone pointed this out to me

 

The enjoyment is false, it's an illusion wrapped up in nicotine hits add this to sitting in the sun or ....

 

Drinking with your mates gives the illusion that you really enjoyed it - lies all lies

 

Any of us would give our high teeth to be in your position again, someone so young and smart enough to quit young

 

Read on nicotine addiction, watch the videos,peel off those layers of lies

 

 

Remember you quit! You are not giving anything good up

 

Keep posting no need to just lurk :)

 

Congratulations for getting back on the horse x

[Nancy]

Good to hear from you, Rob!!  Everyone else has said it very well...I think you made a huge step in realizing and analyzing what is going on with your quit.  We are here for you all the way.  Please, please don't let this wait!

[BAT]

Glad you're still with us Rob  :)

[beacon]

Rob, why aren' t you posting evey day here? Writing a blog? It will help center your quit

[Mike.]

Hi Rob!  :)

 

I have been thinking of you a lot and am happy to hear, that you are still smober.

 

I'll let the clearer-headed blather-mouths give you any advice, rather than my blathering away.

 

m/

 

 

[Tyme2B]

Smober! Love that term Mike! Glad you are here & wishing you success Rob!

[Petra]

Great to see you, Rob.  You need to change your mindset for sure.  You are still romanticizing the smoke - all that leads to is smoking again.  You said you enjoy smoking and that is a lie, a trick of the addiction.

 

What is to enjoy about smoking?  NOTHING!!!  It is this thinking that makes us relapse.  Not to say that those feelings aren't there.  Nicotine addiction is so strong.  On occasion, I will still think a smoke sounds good.  The hard craves to overcome are the ones when I am feeling good.  "Oh, look at this beautiful day, so relaxing.  I wish I could sit here in the nice warm sun and have a smoke."  The problem is that I won't ever want "a smoke"  I will want one after the other. 

 

When I feel like that, I think about the effects of smoking.  The burn of smoke in my lungs, the scratchy throat, the cough, it returns INSTANTLY.  I know.  I have relapsed before.  When I was a smoker, I "quit" smoking so often.  Tried everything, the patch, gum, hypnosis, guilt - you name it.  

 

Now, I want to stay quit.  I still drink wine, I party with my friends.  On those beautiful days, I still go sit in the sun, but I sit back and enjoy the warmth on my body or take a walk.  I choose to enjoy not smoking instead of dreading that I can't.  

 

Anyway, as usual, I'm rambling.  

 

Tell us a dirty joke.  :)   

[Pippa]

Hey Rob - good to see you and congrats on a lovely quit. I think it is important to acknowledge that the first days of a quit can be tough ... So you need to come up with a plan for distraction ! That is where becoming active can help - read up, post away, join the non smoking animal threads - anything to distract and before you know you WILL be at a point where smoking isn't on your mind. Trust us .. It does get better :-)

[El Bandito]

Rob! great to see you.

 

Well done posting. If there is a template post for a planned relapse, that is it.

 

You know that it is not logical. You know that you are setting up a rationale to justify smoking. If you are feeling a bit down, smoking a cigarette is not going to help with that.

 

So, cupcake. toughen up. You are on the cusp of a big decision.

 

Roll your sleeves up. Get onto the NOPE pledge. Commit not to smoke, just for today. Start a thread on what benefits you have seen thus far and what you are looking forward to. You have 200 quid more in your pocket. What have you done with it?

 

Rob. You have quit. You have done it with quite some style too. You cocked up, fell over, you got back up and got on with it. That takes determination and a steely eye.

 

Stop punishing yourself. Look in the mirror and smile. YOU QUIT. Go out with a spring in your step. You are the boss of you.

 

You are doing brilliantly Rob, you got this.

 

NOT ONE PUFF EVER. Got it?

[Still winning]

Hey Rob,

 

Pleased you posted and no worries how long it took you. I just want you to be well.

 

I read this from you and had some thoughts:

This is a bit of a problem quit for me though. Since day #1 (of attempt #2), my heart hasn't really been in it, and I've just been supressing the cravings instead of dealing with them. Now, I find myself having huge cravings a lot of the time, wishing I could smoke, eating crap instead, putting on weight, etc etc. I want to smoke, so I think of something else; my not smoking is like a depressing auto-pilot at the moment. I even feel a lot of the time like I don't like the non-smoking version of me, and I miss the old me.

 

I think the core of the problem is that I haven't properly mapped out my thinking about stopping smoking. I knew I enjoyed smoking when I stopped, so I thought the best tactic would be to just not think about it anymore. Now, it's been suppressed so long it's screaming louder than ever. It's exhausting. 

 

Of course I think you're planning a relapse, cause duh, you wanted to smoke and missed it and life wasn't the same without it, too hard, don't feel right etc etc. Erm you understand addiction right? You get it tries to give you excuses to justify the addiction. I'm gonna bring you a tough love reality check, Mum style because I actually do care. You were having a lovely time inhaling 400 plus chemicals and some nicotine that you are ADDICTED too into your lungs, do you even know what all those chemicals are Rob, the side effects, scary shiz!! All of the above is excuses and poor rationale my friend, understand that and you can start working with switching your thinking - live in denial and you will either struggle or fail. 

 

Now for my usual style. 6 weeks was a crippler for me butit passed, it was temporary. The addiction started knocking louder and I ended up in a crucial sos, exactly like you I wasn't sure I wanted it "enough" but the difference is I decided to accept whatever came so it was done. I wanted the money, the health and the freedom and I simply had to trust that people would never quit if they felt like this forever. In the meantime I set about some serious educating. I know a lotof people do the videos but I did whyquit. I read the horror stories of people who died young, I read their words and their families words! I tried to imagine telling those I loved that sorry mate, posioned myself by choice and now you all have to watch me die slowly and painfully! Because that was my reality, not the "oh I love smoking"...the secret is that bit is the illusion created by addiction.

 

Read, whyquit, post, play games, NOPE, videos, allen carr, fake it till you make it...but don't give this shizzle head room Rob because you deserve more than that life could ever provide you. I want you where I am, you hear me!  Planning for the 2nd set of seasons smoke free, easier, freer and still astounded monthly you're not a poor whore cause you spent all your moolah on smokes!!  Start to believe you can do it and work your way towards that place one day at a time. This is your mission if you choose to accept it :)

 

And much love because sometimes it plain sucks. xx

[buMbLeB]

I speak a bit of junkie lizard, allow me to translate:

 

Hi everyone

 

I thought I'd come out of the say hi, since I've not been around for a while... really, since my relapse. I've been lurking though. 

 

Junkie thoughts are supposed to hide in the shadows and scurry from the light. But now I'm right here in the open, so don't worry!

 

This quit is still going - the signature below is still correct. 

 

{{Sad trombone}}

 

This is a bit of a problem quit for me though. Since day #1 (of attempt #2), my heart hasn't really been in it, and I've just been supressing the cravings instead of dealing with them. Now, I find myself having huge cravings a lot of the time, wishing I could smoke, eating crap instead, putting on weight, etc etc. Quitting is hard, I'm tempted to give in, I often have cravings, I'm eating poorly and gaining weight. WEIRD, hay??? I want to smoke, so I think of something else; my not smoking is like a depressing auto-pilot at the moment. I even feel a lot of the time like I don't like the non-smoking version of me, and I miss the old me. Of course, by "I" I mean my junkie lizard brain, and by "the old me" I mean nicotine. I'm an addict, and I miss my drug.

 

I think the core of the problem is that I haven't properly mapped out my thinking about stopping smoking. I knew I enjoyed smoking when I stopped, so I thought the best tactic would be to just not think about it anymore. Now, it's been suppressed so long it's screaming louder than ever. It's exhausting. I started wrong, I want a mulligan!!

 

I know the above is basically rubbish logic, and the real solution is to probably listen to Allen Carr again (will definitely add that to the TODO!). That, or I keep up the auto-pilot and one day I might realise it's not been an issue for ages anymore.

 

Rob

 

K, so first of all I am SO NOT mocking you!! Or if I am, it's the way you mock a guy who is doing one of the hardest things you ever did, at half your age (or so). And honestly, great to see you posting again, and for posting this - even if it is riddled with junkie billshut, the real you that is quit knew enough to wave the flag.

 

Besides, we have ALL been there, and had the same fight. I remember when I quit, I had just days earlier acquired a gorgeous Jack Daniels zippo lighter - I have an extensive JD paraphernalia collection. But I quit before I got to use it to light a cigarette, and I agonized over that on and off for the first few weeks!!! Alas, my JD lighter remains a nicotine virgin. And when I think about it now, it's clearly laughable... And even then, I could see it was ridiculous. Can you, reading back, see it in your own words? Do you really not like non-smoking you, and like "the old you" better? I mean, do swimmers miss their old drowning selves? Maybe you'd like yourself more if you took up cutting, or put bleach in your eye?

 

Look, I really do get it. Kidding aside, quitting sucks! But it won't keep sucking forever. You just have to get from here to there. I wrote you something before, and I really meant it. I still mean it. Please go read it again, and think about what it means for you. You need to remember.

[JackiMac]

Hi Rob, great to see you posting and to see the honesty, Ive relapsed twice in the last year, and do you know why I relapsed, because I romanced the cigarette or rather the nicotine flirted with me and I took the bait, and flirted back, I played with danger thinking that I was stronger, you say you are only in this quit this time half heartedly, I know exactly how you feel Rob, its too much effort and when will all this suffering be over and why can't I wake up tommorow and have no craves, well I am sorry to say its not that easy sweetheart, just stop for a minute, sit quietly and be really really open with yourself, now tell yourself that you inflicted all this on you, when smoking you were killing yourself, if thats what you want to do why not go jump off a cliff right now, sorry if this is hard but its what I told myself, I told myself I do not want to die a smoker, take back control of you life Rob you can do it and you know you can, quitting is horrible but the addiction is so so much worse, it only hurts for a little while, and I and I think everyone here on the board thinks your are worth so much more, don't give in Rob be stronger, each second that you remain committed to NOPE is one second towards a better healthier you.  xxx

[Rob]

Thank you everyone for your lovely posts, there were some amazing words of advice there! Stu, BunbleB - you made me laugh :)

 

I definitely feel a lot happier and more confident now after reading your posts, it's like a weight has been lifted. Thanks again :)

[cpk]

Transitions. I hate them. Moving. New Job. New Relationships. Breaking up. Even happy transitions are hard for me. Life hands them out whether we like them or not. So I relate to you saying you miss the old you. Sometimes I miss "old me" from different periods of my life. Lately, I've gotten more specific, like exactly what about "old me" do I miss? Can I bring it forward and integrate it with the new me? Since quitting smoking I've gained weight and it's really not acceptable. But it's something I can change. Hard. But doable. I've also lost some ability to focus. Again, how can I help bring a more focused part of me forward into the present?

 

Cuz life is change, and we do change. Even if you go back to the more comfortable "old you" who smokes, that you will change. And again, you have to think about those changes. You'll age quicker. If you stay single the dating pool will get smaller as more people who quit smoking won't date smokers. You'll have less energy than other people your age. You'll have to start hiding the fact you can't bike as well, or run up a flight of stairs as fast, or dance as long. You'll notice it. That's how the old you who smokes will change. You'll notice it, but you'll keep it a secret. (I know a smoker in his mid-30's who is really feeling the effects of smoking but he pretends that he is fine with smoking. But to me he's confessed, "I feel like I'll be dead before I'm 40." That's pretty dramatic!)

 

It's not true that young people don't feel the effects of smoking. They do. Younger people who have quit have told me this over and over again.

 

Maybe you'll go back and revisit the old you. If you do, pay attention to the physical effects. Compare old you with new you. I know another person in his late 20's who quit then went back to smoking - for one day. He said, "I woke up with smoker's hangover. I could feel every smoke I had the night before." He quit forever after really "feeling into his body" after a night out at the bars.

 

I hate transitions, always have, always will. But they happen whether we like it or not. Things like not smoking, exercising, taking up a new sport to get fit...and so much more is in our control. We can't 100% shape our destiny...but we have more free will than we usually think we do.

 

Good luck, and be kind to yourself.

[cpk]

Okay...for laughs. Met a guy this week 'bout your age. Had tattoos covering both arms from wrists to shoulders. I said, "Cool tats." He said, "I"m having them removed. Changed my career goals, and they don't fit."  He told me to remove them will take 17 sessions, and US $1,800. To get them done cost US $2,500. Total cost to go from new to old, back to new new person? $4,300! Down the drain.

 

All you have to do is lose some weight, and be patient. Perspective, man, perspective! :)