Removing the fear of relapse

[Jonny5]

I'm not afraid of relapse one single bit. It ain't ever gonna happen.

Some of you are. And there's one huge reason for that....

You have not closed the doors on your smoking past and evolved into a never again smoker, you have a lingering belief that smoking does give you some benefits and are abstaining through many methods. 

Abstainance looks like my quit but it is fundamentally different. 

There is no reason I would smoke ever and I hate smoke being anywhere near me. I am repulsed by the poisonous stench.

Abstainance is going without what you want.

You can abstain all your life, but it will never be the same as the true desire to never smoke again, and by definition it is never going to be as comfortable.

You must discect your quitting mindset and remove any weaknesses to make it relapse proof.

Seriously you have to remove all justifications. Including death of a child. Murder of a spouse. Terrible awful situations that you may face, and you must know that you would not find smoking to be a comfort.

Then, like me, you will be forever free.

This is the power and strength behind NOPE...it is not just a bashing word from the hardcore ex smoking police, it is the source of their quit strength. 

[Tink]

great post to re-evaluate and reaffirm my quit on occasions some very recently I have allowed the doubting doors(junkie mind) to creep open - I am working very hard through my circumstances to make what you say in this post so Jonny and I am winning :)

 

education and correct mind set is absolutely crucial for a forever quit

[Ladybug]

I never thought about relapse and then I started reading about it and it got to me. Somebody called me the "one quit wonder" and it made me swallow hard...why would I be one of them who didn't relapse?

 

So relapse became theoretical an option and a possibility...but will never happen in real!

 

Why not....because I said so ....and...because I am prepared!

 

Some life situations make me feel like I want to pull out my own hair...well I don't do that either!

 

I probably make no sense at all!

[juanrmartino]

I have this fear every day in the back of my mind... loved this post johnny, and want to stop being afraid.

 

For now im taking one day by day, hour.

 

But i want to loose this fear and the fear of being around other smokers.

 

Juan

[Jonny5]

I have this fear every day in the back of my mind... loved this post johnny, and want to stop being afraid.

 

For now im taking one day by day, hour.

 

But i want to loose this fear and the fear of being around other smokers.

 

Juan

 

for now, your day by day approach is sensible, and will protect you from getting overwhelmed.

 

As for loosing the fear... that happens all by itself as you prove yourself.  Each day of success is proof that you are strong, and that you are winning.

 

Fear is natural and sensible in survival, until you learn that you don't need it any more in order to be safe :-)

[Paul723]

It helped me to understand how nicotine had changed my brain chemistry Juan. That is what creates the lie in your mind, and trains it, that cigarettes give you pleasure. I think if you understand nicotine addiction, you will fear it less.

[Melody]

What if your not afraid and you already know smoking offers nothing? I still have urges that come out of no where. Like today I walked into the house and immediately I thought about sitting outside with a smoke. Of course I shut it down but I haven't had one of those in a few weeks. Sorry, I've been bothered by this urge all day today and have been trying to figure out how to not have the smack you right over the head, out of the middle of no where, urges. Am I not at the point you describe above?

[juanrmartino]

for now, your day by day approach is sensible, and will protect you from getting overwhelmed.

 

As for loosing the fear... that happens all by itself as you prove yourself.  Each day of success is proof that you are strong, and that you are winning.

 

Fear is natural and sensible in survival, until you learn that you don't need it any more in order to be safe :-)

Thanks for the reply Johnny !

[Rain Forest]

 

 

You must discect your quitting mindset and remove any weaknesses to make it relapse proof.

 

Seriously you have to remove all justifications. Including death of a child. Murder of a spouse. Terrible awful situations that you may face, and you must know that you would not find smoking to be a comfort.

 

Jonny, I couldn't have said it better.  Since I have been smoke-free, I had to have my two dogs put to sleep (ages 17 and 18) because they were too old for anything to do about it; the death of my mother; dealing with my husband who had a brain tumor the size of a baseball (a 10-1/2 hours surgery and radiation treatments saved him)... thru all of this, I can honestly say that I never once craved a cig.

 

And it's because of what you said: You have to REMOVE EVERYTHING that you think would make you smoke.  I was around 3 months quit when I finally realized that this was it, I was done, there would never be a reason to smoke again... from that day on, I was at peace with my quit and never craved again.

 

Awesome post, my friend!

Rain aka Suz  

[Jonny5]

What if your not afraid and you already know smoking offers nothing? I still have urges that come out of no where. Like today I walked into the house and immediately I thought about sitting outside with a smoke. Of course I shut it down but I haven't had one of those in a few weeks. Sorry, I've been bothered by this urge all day today and have been trying to figure out how to not have the smack you right over the head, out of the middle of no where, urges. Am I not at the point you describe above?

 

Hi Melody, what you are describing are triggers and autocues, see this thread I posted earlier  http://www.quittrain.com/topic/485-understanding-triggers/ :-)

[Jonny5]

Jonny, I couldn't have said it better.  Since I have been smoke-free, I had to have my two dogs put to sleep (ages 17 and 18) because they were too old for anything to do about it; the death of my mother; dealing with my husband who had a brain tumor the size of a baseball (a 10-1/2 hours surgery and radiation treatments saved him)... thru all of this, I can honestly say that I never once craved a cig.

 

And it's because of what you said: You have to REMOVE EVERYTHING that you think would make you smoke.  I was around 3 months quit when I finally realized that this was it, I was done, there would never be a reason to smoke again... from that day on, I was at peace with my quit and never craved again.

 

Awesome post, my friend!

Rain aka Suz  

 

thanks Suz, and you're so right about reaching that place of realisation, just this January I lost 3 family members in one very sad day, but not once was my quit in danger.  PS I'm so glad your husband pulled through :-)

[Jonny5]

Thanks for the reply Johnny !

You're welcome :-)

[SueBeDoo]

Seriously perfect timing Jonny, just what I needed to read right now, thanks a mill.

 

Ps great to see you back were you belong, doing what you do best, helping others.

Sue xx

[Jonny5]

Seriously perfect timing Jonny, just what I needed to read right now, thanks a mill.

 

Ps great to see you back were you belong, doing what you do best, helping others.

Sue xx

Thankyou :-)

[El Bandito]

Jonny and Sue - so sorry to hear of your losses.

 

It is true - while the possibility exists - it is, well a possibility. For me it doesn't. 

 

I nicked (and probably misquote) the Allen Carr line - I might as well stick a cigarette in my ear and light it...

 

Still get triggers, and need to be on guard sometimes - but smoke a cigarette? Why on God's green Earth would I want to do that?