Quit Smoking 101 (Ground Zero)

[Mike.]

Yes, Jenny, Nancy, Trace, Melodie/RF or whomever you are, I have been reading here.

What I gather is, the best way to quit smoking, is to do the following.

1) Drive out to a near farm, (sorry, Texas is just too far away).

2) Strip down to a pair of "big girl panties".

3) Hold high, a cold dead turkey with one arm, and a picture of youknowwho's boob, with the other.

4) Look up, and howl in "primal rage" at the moon, "Awwww f*ck it", "Easy Peasy".

5) Then, wait for an epiphany!

(I hope I don't get arrested)
 

[MarylandQuitter]

I don't get it.  What is this about? 

[Mike.]

I don't get it.  What is this about? 

 

My new quit has started.

 

(Just some tidbits, I have picked up here and there)

[MarylandQuitter]

Gotcha!  Congrats!  Keep it this time, alright?

[babs609]

for the record....i didn't do any of the above for my quit

[babs609]

but whatever it takes to not take a single puff...i'm all for it.  

[Tink]

Alright but you gotta take pictures :)

[buMbLeB]

#5 is wrong - don't wait for an epiphany. Just keep the quit, and one will be along in due course.

 

Great to see this, Mike.

[Mike.]

#5 is wrong - don't wait for an epiphany. Just keep the quit, and one will be along in due course.

 

Great to see this, Mike.

 

Oh Good!

 

I was worried I wouldn't get out of there before someone called the cops.

 

m/

[Mike.]

Alright but you gotta take pictures :)

 

I would Trace. But unlike that other person, I know enough to not send that kind of stuff on the internet.

 

:)

[Mike.]

Alright but you gotta take pictures :)

 

No, I was not talking about you, when you had that avatar, of yourself naked.

[Tyme2B]

How long have you gone without a smoke Mike? Are you ok? "Some of us needed a non smoking aid". If you need it....do it. It beats killing yourself by smoking. I am not ashamed in the least that I needed help initially. I am totally nicotine free after 6 weeks....smoke free for 6 weeks. You CAN do it. The longer you put it off the harder it is....but you already know that. I must say the thought of you holding a chicken & howling at the moon in your thong made me laugh though! Lol!

[Mike.]

for the record....i didn't do any of the above for my quit

 

Nevermind.

[Gabby]

You know how it goes

[Doreensfree]

Yaaa....alls good mike....who cares how you do it....

I wore massive headphones...beating a pillow to a pulp to music.....talking of which....I might have another go....

[DCCXXVII]

The best way is nope... we can never just have that one puff without the rest of them... you can do this Mike  :good3:

 

KTQ

[JackiMac]

Great to read this Mike, onwards and upwards, fight this addiction with all that you have got, whatever it takes to get you through xx

[Ramona]

One time I ran, almost naked, full speed into a barbed wire fence covered by a raspberry bush - that got me through for that day.  

 

Another time I belly skid @ full speed across my apartment floor and rammed my head into the wall - that got me through for another day.

 

Yet another time I took 3 plastic hair claws and crunched them with my bare hands causing me to bleed quite a bit - but that also got me through for another day.  

 

I figure: as long as you don't hurt someone else, or SERIOUSLY injure yourself, then you're free to behave as necessary.  After all, you're attempting to stop killing yourself.  That can be a major shock to the system.  Where's your outlet for self-mutilation?  Just being honest here.  

 

ROCK THE QUIT!!!!

[Mike.]

Yaaa....alls good mike....who cares how you do it....

I wore massive headphones...beating a pillow to a pulp to music.....talking of which....I might have another go....

 

Hi Doreen. I picked you out to respond from all the kind responders. I consider you "one of my babies"; one of the ones I gave much attention to and followed closely when you first quit. Why would I call you a "baby"; because you are a "babe", one in my youth I would "come at"? Well, yes and no. Yes, I have thought you could have handled me, and no, I can't remember how to do that any more, But, I consider all my special projects, that stick around and help the newbies, my "special babies". I do know, that I  haven't responded to your posts to me since I have come back, and I feel guilty about that. I wanted to do it now. But, please cut me some slack, there has been a number of "special friends", that have reached out, and responding to them all, is tough when I am quitting and then smoking again and running and hiding. Never mind having jumbled up thinking processes now ... that hasn't made it any easier.

 

So, everyone ... I suppose you might wonder how I am today. Me too! I just got back from the hospital. I know this though. I don't recommend quitting smoking, doing a bowel prep, and a colonoscopy all in the first 24 hours of a quit. It guess it seemed a good idea at the time. My advice is ... QUIT SMOKING FIRST! The withdrawal last night was interesting ... It was more of hasty retreat, with multiple explosions going on. I have a different understanding of what INTERNAL COMBUSTION means now. I may have found a new form of locomotion, that is seemingly one of PERPETUAL MOTION. It had a propulsion of all its own. I got to the hospital smoke free this afternoon, and  they gave me IV Fentanyl. That is nice stuff. I don't think there was any Versad though, because I remember everything ... but, that is a curse of mine. I don't forget easily, even when I would rather. Beauty and the Beast, double teamed me, and cut out 7 polyps with one they had to clip. But, the bowl lining looked clean, with no signs of inflammation, though there were lots of diverticula, (I am sure, T. will correct me, if I spelled the plural of diverticulum wrong) Please do T! I'm still stoned.

 

So, that was my first 24 hours of quitting. I am think this next 24 hour will be I a little easier.

 

I am so hungry, I could eat that cold dead turkey, I was swinging around last night but, I guess I should cook it first sometime. I seem to remember something about salmonella infection.

 

I don't really have the chops to proof-read and correct this. You'll have to do it yourselves. I did. I manned up and did it, so can you.

[buMbLeB]

I nearly fainted just reading that. I kept waiting for the part where it just became too unbearable, and you caved in and smoked.

 

Shame on me.

 

You are a monster!

[Doreensfree]

Aww thank you mike....being your babe....I can live with that.....

F or those who don't know..

When I first arrived at the board....scared,devastated,desperate....mike was the first person to open his arms and welcome me...

And keep me under his wing....so yes we have history....and I would love for him to get to that place once more..

I'm sorry you have had to go through that procedure....7 polyps....nasty....

Once your up and running...I hope you feel the beniefts....

And a massive well done...you kept your precious quit.....

Take care my friend...

[Pippa]

Hey mike - glad you got through your first couple of days - colonoscopy and all !! Definitely recommend cooking the turkey first or trust me you will be more than reliving the colonoscopy prep ! Other than that do what you need to keep the quit ... And regardless - we are here for support xx