Stupid Things Smokers Say

[Colleen]

Be it what you would say as a smoker or what you now hear as a non-smoker...or both :)

 

So every day, several times a day somebody behind me at work says..."I'm going out for some fresh air" and comes back smelling like a dirty ashtray.  Um excuse me pal, but what part of that cigarette provides you with fresh air?  Maybe I'm missing something, but it sounds so ridiculous.

 

Things I said:  I enjoy smoking.  If I die early, at least I enjoyed myself.  WTF planet was I on??!  Not Earth apparently, 

[Markus]

At age 25: Quit? I like smoking. Why would I quit?

 

At age 50: Quit? Yea I shoulda quit years ago, I oughta quit but I can't.

 

At age:70: That damn chemo, I'm sicker than a dog. I need a smoke, now! Here, hold my oxygen bottle.

[cpk]

Before:

 

"My allergies are really acting up..." while hacking away with obvious smoker's cough...

 

Now:

 

"Gee, I guess my allergies are gone..."   duh, yeah, because you removed 7,000 chemicals...

[Doreensfree]

My stinkin thinkin...it's my treat ...I work hard enough for it....

Really....killing myself early....clogging my arteries....no I don't think so....idiot.....

[Tink]

just one....

[Doreensfree]

You might want to add your own..

[joe]

Old thread, but good on to bump back up, Doreen.....

 

 

One of my dumb "comments" was......

 

"No one knows I smoke"

 

Anyone with a sense of smell knew I smoked! I may not have smoked when they were around me, but I know now how bad I must have smelled. The only person I think was really fooled, was ME!

[Sparkles]

One of my dumb "comments" was......

 

"No one knows I smoke"

 

 

  

 

Ha ha.  Yes!  I always thought I was a secret smoker, but people must have known!

[Doreensfree]

They knew...you can smell that stink from a mile away ...

[Sparkles]

:blush:

[Reciprocity]

Hey Pumpkin! How you doing?

[Stewie]

"Theres so many things that kill you why not smoke/youre going to die someday" - every smoker i know.

[Sirius]

"Theres so many things that kill you why not smoke/youre going to die someday" - every smoker i know.

There might be a situation where I wouldn't care if I smoked.  Finding myself in a Pals regiment on the eve of the Battle of the Somme comes to mind.

[GraceLove]

Me - "I have to smoke. It keeps me calm and stable."  :huh:

 

Me - "It's my ONLY vice. Everyone has a vice!"  :rolleyes:

 

Me - "I will quit tomorrow...." <--said this for YEARS.  <_<

[babs609]

"Well....ya got to die from something"

 

So stupid.

 

Lol

[babs609]

Didn't realize stewey just said that same thing. Lol

 

It's a classic smoker line

[Pearlie]

The past me..."But it's the only vice I have.  I need to do something, right?"

[sgt.barney]

"Sarge cam quit any time he wants - he just doesn't want... right now ..."

 

LOL

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[DCCXXVII]

But I really enjoy smoking....helped to validate what I was doing

[Giveintowin]

"I could get hit by a bus"

 

This is statistically highly improbable (I mean how many f#*king people got hit by a bus in the last century), however dying of a smoking related disease has a chance of at least 66% according to recent figures. These figures don't include the toll of pain and suffering of the smoking related problems you don't die from and the potential disability.

[onthemark]

brainwashed.

[Jryan19982]

"you have to die somehow" as my uncle would say.

[JimHannoonen]

''I'm gonna head out for a lung snack"

 

Me - a million times

[GraceLove]

''I'm gonna head out for a lung snack"

 

Me - a million times

 

 

Bahaha Jim. That is so messed up. I swear I will give you a lung PUNCH if you ever smoke (or say THAT again).

[Doreensfree]

A lung punch..I like that brilliant..