Social Smokers

[Mike.]

Okay, I don't like the dissemination of false information. It can be dangerous for others, if not corrected.

 

[babs609]

I have many times pointed out the fact that social smoking doesn't exist...and I should elaborate what I mean by that.  There is not one person who is on this board...or who has searched support on google for smoking...who are social smokers.  They wouldn't be here.

 

 

But I do love this video

[Markus]

/

[beacon]

My mind has a voice that some times whispers that I can smoke one or two as a social smoker, when I drink, on vacation. Same voice who thinks I can buy some sweets and have a small amount and not eat the whole bag.  I have been trying to kill this voice all my life.  Nothing but trouble. 

[DCCXXVII]

This is the guy who wrote the Law of Addiction. And if you don't know what the definition is, you should take a minute to read about it.

 

GTQ,

 

Markus

Thanks Mike and Markus

 

The Law of Addiction 

 

This is what stops me from ever taking another puff because to put it simply... I am addicted to nicotine!

 

NTAP

 

KTQ

[cpk]

Thanks Mike,

 

Joel Spitzer never smoked a day in his life.  It is a well documented fact.

 

He's one of those never-smokers who, as a never-smoker, would upchuck if he tried to smoke and then would fail to see what the attraction of smoking is. Like he says in the video...14:05

 

And, he basically says that a former smoker would have no trouble with picking up where they left off after plowing through the nausea and dizziness. 

 

And here I am, what Spitzer refers to as a former smoker, and I get physically ill around cigarette smoke and get green around the gills and need fresh air. I get dizzy and nauseous. At casinos that allow smoking I have to leave after about 15 minutes or so, and all around me people who are not smoking seem just fine.

 

So, for a person like Joel who has never smoked to paint all of us who have smoked with the same broad brush seems pretty bold. But he knows the addiction, even though he was never an addict.

 

And he's right, 100 per cent so. Social smokers and heavy smokers both have the affliction, and don't kid yourself about the fact that one doesn't seem to have it and the other one appears to be blatantly addicted.

 

One thing that is not mentioned in Spitzer's video that may be noteworthy is the fact that as former smokers who are serious about their quit, we do resist the urge to smoke, both physically and mentally when confronted with cigarettes and smoke.

 

This is the guy who wrote the Law of Addiction. And if you don't know what the definition is, you should take a minute to read about it.

 

GTQ,

 

Markus

Note: My following comments are not meant to offend anyone or anything on this site because I DO love this site.                   I found this fact about Spitzer having NEVER smoked so shocking I had to google it for myself. Even if every single thing Spitzer says is true, the one thing missing is...I really don't know how to put it...maybe chi. There's a certain chi to smoking, and maybe it's crooked chi but it's chi. When straightened out, a former smoker's chi is distinct in a primal way that is completely different than a never-ever-have-smoked person's chi. I even think there are positives to a smoker's/healed smoker's chi...there's a level of humor, compassion, intelligence, wit, and pathos that is distinct to this chi.

[cpk]

Thanks Mike,

 

Joel Spitzer never smoked a day in his life.  It is a well documented fact.

 

He's one of those never-smokers who, as a never-smoker, would upchuck if he tried to smoke and then would fail to see what the attraction of smoking is. Like he says in the video...14:05

 

And, he basically says that a former smoker would have no trouble with picking up where they left off after plowing through the nausea and dizziness. 

 

And here I am, what Spitzer refers to as a former smoker, and I get physically ill around cigarette smoke and get green around the gills and need fresh air. I get dizzy and nauseous. At casinos that allow smoking I have to leave after about 15 minutes or so, and all around me people who are not smoking seem just fine.

 

So, for a person like Joel who has never smoked to paint all of us who have smoked with the same broad brush seems pretty bold. But he knows the addiction, even though he was never an addict.

 

And he's right, 100 per cent so. Social smokers and heavy smokers both have the affliction, and don't kid yourself about the fact that one doesn't seem to have it and the other one appears to be blatantly addicted.

 

One thing that is not mentioned in Spitzer's video that may be noteworthy is the fact that as former smokers who are serious about their quit, we do resist the urge to smoke, both physically and mentally when confronted with cigarettes and smoke.

 

This is the guy who wrote the Law of Addiction. And if you don't know what the definition is, you should take a minute to read about it.

 

GTQ,

 

Markus

does he know the addiction, or does he know how to talk about the addiction

[MarylandQuitter]

Joel has never shyed away from the fact that he never smoked.  Please watch the videos below which address this. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlJK9ZSlw5Q

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9S8TphTve4g

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqcuPng589k

[MarylandQuitter]

There are social smokers, not here, but there are.  They may be few and far between, but make no mistake, they do exist.  But for each and every one of us, we can never take another puff because we're not social smokers, we're nicotine addicts.  This is what Joel is saying and has always said. 

 

Just as some people want to believe that smoking is not an option, well, it is.  Smoking is always an option because if it truly wasn't, why would we be here?

[Chrysalis]

I'm sure that there are social smokers in the world. If I ever meet one, I will ask him/her how their experience of smoking differs from mine. I really don't think that I have ever met one-- I have met people in bars who are too cheap to buy their own cigarettes and so claim to be a "social smoker" so they can bum a cigarette-- but someone who can be around smokers and not smoke except for once in a while (my definition of a "social smoker") no, I haven't met one. 

 

Regardless, as MQ says, every single person here is NOT a "social smoker". We are addicts. And just like social drinkers versus alcoholics, one cigarette can send us back into the addiction. We can't do it. 

 

By the way, I don't care if Joel Spitzer ever smoked or not. What he says makes a ton of sense. As the adage goes, "Accept the truth from whoever speaks it."

[buMbLeB]

There are social smokers, not here, but there are.

 

Exactly so. This is a tricky area - for one thing, it's a dangerous lure to all the addicts (like me) who imagine that maybe they just weren't doing it right, and if they tried again they could smoke only socially, and keep control. As I've said elsewhere, this delusion was what kept me hooked for years while doing real damage, but it was just so damn seductive and I didn't know any better. Plus, it seemed so unfair - if they can do it, why can't I?

 

The answer, of course, is that's just life. If you want to renounce life, by all means smoke! 

 

The other reason it's tricky is, if there are some true social smokers who aren't actually addicts, and if smoking does nothing good beyond the illusion of relief created by relieving the very craving the addictions causes, then why exactly are they smoking? What's it doing for them? I have my own ideas on this, but I'll save them for another post. 

 

Bottom line: for everyone here, there is no such thing as YOU being a social smoker. And while the reasons might be interesting, once you've been quit for a while, you'll realize how utterly it doesn't matter.

[cpk]

Exactly so. This is a tricky area - for one thing, it's a dangerous lure to all the addicts (like me) who imagine that maybe they just weren't doing it right, and if they tried again they could smoke only socially, and keep control. As I've said elsewhere, this delusion was what kept me hooked for years while doing real damage, but it was just so damn seductive and I didn't know any better. Plus, it seemed so unfair - if they can do it, why can't I?

 

The answer, of course, is that's just life. If you want to renounce life, by all means smoke! 

 

The other reason it's tricky is, if there are some true social smokers who aren't actually addicts, and if smoking does nothing good beyond the illusion of relief created by relieving the very craving the addictions causes, then why exactly are they smoking? What's it doing for them? I have my own ideas on this, but I'll save them for another post. 

 

Bottom line: for everyone here, there is no such thing as YOU being a social smoker. And while the reasons might be interesting, once you've been quit for a while, you'll realize how utterly it doesn't matter.

When I was in my 20's if my ex and I had a fight, sometimes he'd go out to a bar, buy cigarettes and smoke. It was stupid. He was just acting out, trying to be a bad ass. He had no relationship with smoking. It was just a symbol. He'd leave the pack at the bar. I think some social smokers don't inhale, they kind of puff like they think a cigarette is a pipe. That's how my ex "smoked" -- he just kind of lightly puffed, and waved the cigarette around. I seriously doubt he inhaled. After his 20's he left this stupid affectation of smoking behind.

[El Bandito]

Ah this old chestnut.

 

I have absolutely no idea of the 'clinical' truth of whether there are 'Social Smokers' or whether these are abstaining addicts etc. For me personally - I know that the question is irrelevant.

 

My wife was a self-proclaimed social smoker. She would go long periods of the day without smoking, sometimes whole days.

 

She quit a few days after me.

 

Often she would go in for a bit of romancing the smoke - and tell me that it was different for her. She could smoke one and then not again. I replied - "OK. Why don't you then?"

 

"I don't want to go through that first week of quitting again"

 

I knew a few people that would buy a couple of packs a year. Smoke at a social event, then leave the event and leave the remains of the packet much as CPK describes above - social smokers? Maybe. Rare beasts I think.

[Jenny]

I agree there are social smokers.....I've known at least two of them.  They pick up a cigarette here and there and never think of it between.   That's a whole different kind of smoking than what I did.\

 

The fact that Joel has never smoked has never mattered to me.  A Psychiatrist may not be insane but it does not hinder her ability to diagnose and treat someone who is.   There are many times in life when the specialist is not someone who has walked in our shoes.  As long as the treatment is effective what difference does it make?

[MarylandQuitter]

I agree there are social smokers.....I've known at least two of them.  They pick up a cigarette here and there and never think of it between.   That's a whole different kind of smoking than what I did.\

 

The fact that Joel has never smoked has never mattered to me.  A Psychiatrist may not be insane but it does not hinder her ability to diagnose and treat someone who is.   There are many times in life when the specialist is not someone who has walked in our shoes.  As long as the treatment is effective what difference does it make?

 

Me too!  I am a full-fledged nicotine addict and always will be.  I will forever be one puff away from 2 packs per day.  As long as I never forget that I was once a smoker and am an addict, I can remain a non-smoker for the rest of my life.  The day I choose to let my guard down is the day I put my quit and ultimately my life in danger.

 

I'm going to post a link to a thread over at Freedom where this very topic was brought up.

[cpk]

I apologize for being irritated at Spitzer being a never smoker. I'm in this new quit and every single day I lose perspective. And THAT'S irritating me. I know that I'm not a social smoker, and never wanted to be one. What I wanted was for smoking to not be dirty, smelly, disgusting, toxic, dangerous, and socially unacceptable. I do buy into the idea that smoking less just means a longer period of being in withdrawal. That makes complete sense to me. That's an important fact. Something new I learned. It's important because now I feel relieved, knowing a full quit is full freedom, which is exciting.

[buMbLeB]

I apologize for being irritated at Spitzer being a never smoker.

 

I don't think an apology is necessary. It's great if you thought about what others said and changed your mind, but you have a right to your opinion whatever it is, and I don't think anyone could be offended by it.

 

I'm in this new quit and every single day I lose perspective. And THAT'S irritating me.

 

And that's just something you'll have to get used to for a while. We've all been there!

[MarylandQuitter]

I apologize for being irritated at Spitzer being a never smoker. I'm in this new quit and every single day I lose perspective. And THAT'S irritating me. I know that I'm not a social smoker, and never wanted to be one. What I wanted was for smoking to not be dirty, smelly, disgusting, toxic, dangerous, and socially unacceptable. I do buy into the idea that smoking less just means a longer period of being in withdrawal. That makes complete sense to me. That's an important fact. Something new I learned. It's important because now I feel relieved, knowing a full quit is full freedom, which is exciting.

 

Nothing to be sorry for and Joel certainly has dealt with this question many times which is why he made the videos to address it.  Imagine being around smokers in a clinical setting for 40 years and all the insight and knowledge that one would get from it.  There is nothing that any of us go through that he hasn't seen before.  He may not have experienced it, but he's very knowledgeable about it.

 

Babs runs a support group for certain people dealing with a very serious illness.  She doesn't have that illness and doesn't need to in order to help them.  Not all the time, but sometimes it takes a person not attached to the situation to tell it how it is.  

 

cpk, get comfortable being uncomfortable as this mindset will get you through any craving you could ever imagine.  :) 

[beacon]

CPK, there is no need to apologize. A quit is a journey. I went through a huge mourning period where all I thought about was being a social smoker. I was bery careful not to drink too much for the first several months because of this

[Nicole Diver]

cpk I completely understand where you are coming from, at first that didn't sit right with me either.  I thought, how in the world could Joel know a, b, and c.  But the more I researched the addiction (knowledge truly is power) I found that his messages were spot on, despite him never having smoked.

 

Another thing I did, that was kind of creepy in a way, is I'd watch youtube videos of smoker's cough.  To reiterate to myself how I didn't want to end up. 

[cpk]

I agree there are social smokers.....I've known at least two of them.  They pick up a cigarette here and there and never think of it between.   That's a whole different kind of smoking than what I did.\

 

The fact that Joel has never smoked has never mattered to me.  A Psychiatrist may not be insane but it does not hinder her ability to diagnose and treat someone who is.   There are many times in life when the specialist is not someone who has walked in our shoes.  As long as the treatment is effective what difference does it make?

I knew this would come up. I think of addiction as something that has a big spiritual component. I also don't think it has yet to be fully understood and a "cure" to be found. The relapse statistics are dismal. Maybe I think the shamans need to be called in, in a big way. I'm too early in my own quit to get too far into a debate on this. (Because I'm a bit irritable. Apologies.)

[Nicole Diver]

 

Babs runs a support group for certain people dealing with a very serious illness.  She doesn't have that illness and doesn't need to in order to help them.  Not all the time, but sometimes it takes a person not attached to the situation to tell it how it is.  

 

 

I had this weird pain in my back that seemed to never go away when I first quit, that I thought for sure was terminal.  I asked Babs about it several times and she was quite patient with me.  And lo and behold, it didn't kill me :lol:

[Nicole Diver]

I think the relapse statistics are like self fulfilling prophesies.  (That I bought into for 20 years.)

"If no one else can quit why in the heck would I be special and be able to beat it?"

But I have seen so many quit and stay quit here, I know it can be done.

I know now that the successful ex-smoker doesn't make anyone, big pharma or big tobacco, any money.  They want us to believe it is too hard, it can't be done.  To keep on trying half heartedly, and handing over the cash just to relapse yet again.

But it doesn't have to be this way.

[Jenny]

No need at all to apologize!   If something hits you a certain way you have the right to post about it the same as the rest.  :)   Your quit is looking wonderful on you cpk.  

[MarylandQuitter]

I had this weird pain in my back that seemed to never go away when I first quit, that I thought for sure was terminal.  I asked Babs about it several times and she was quite patient with me.  And lo and behold, it didn't kill me :lol:

 

Odd.  All of a sudden I just got a huge pain in my backside.  :read: