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Feeling the Pull and fighting back

JackiMac

By JackiMac
in The S.O.S. Board

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JackiMac Newbie

JackiMac

Posted
Posted

Everwhere I look today and tonight all I seem to see is people smoking, first time I have posted on the SOS board but want to talk this pull out of my system.  The desire to smoke comes on in a flash, and tries to hook me in, I hate this emptiness, I know there is no immediate cure, I know I have to fight the urge, overcome the desire, look away, but always seem to say to myself why is it so damn difficult,  I don't want to smoke I want to be a long term quitter.  Thank god for the long time quitters here, who I have walked beside, when I fell they fought back, so I know deep down inside that over time the thoughts and desires will go away, but I want this pull to stop and to stop now,  I am fighting back but rather than fighting back inside I am using you wonderful people and your strengths to fight back with me.

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Nicole Diver Newbie

Nicole Diver

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Oh girl, stay strong. You've already proved to yourself you can do this. Think of how horrible it would be to actually relapse right now and have to deal with all the rot that comes with it.

 

Great job posting! That just further proves the point that you are in it to win it.

  • Like 3
JackiMac Newbie

JackiMac

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Im staying strong Ava, I feel maybe that was my downfall before I always tried to battle it without coming on here, by talking everything through I am re-affirming how much I want this thank you xx

  • Like 4
JackiMac Newbie

JackiMac

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Good point El B, stop fighting and relax the thought will pass, I am actually having palpitations its awful, deep breaths...................

  • Like 1
El Bandito Apprentice

El Bandito

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I used to get into a panic, hyper ventilate, the whole thing. Never helped.

 

Sip something, breathe deep and relax. Just a crave like millions of others that we both beat...see the voice? Those opera singers were brilliant weren't they?

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Doreensfree Grand Master

Doreensfree

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Jackie....keep telling yourself it's all temporary....it WILL get better....

I was told...it's ok to wobble.....just don't fall over......

Smoking is not on the table.....the only way is nope jackie....

Don't let the junkie brain win....your life depends on it...

Hugs xx

  • Like 1
JackiMac Newbie

JackiMac

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feel better been for an internet wander, signed up to raise funds for British Heart Foundation, came back here and pull has gone thank you so much everyone xxx

  • Like 4
Nancy Mentor

Nancy

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Glad to hear you pulled through it, Jackie!  You did exactly right to post!  You are getting stronger and stronger!!

  • Like 3
Devil Doll Newbie

Devil Doll

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I'm so glad that you posted in SOS Jackie. It shows how much you want to hold on to your quit. You can make it through all of these triggers. Rewrite your preresponse and keep it bookmarked for you to go back and read as a reminder.

  • Like 3
Runfree Collaborator

Runfree

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Glad to see you made it through Jackie.

 

After a couple months into this and often managing it with a death grip, I think some of the info I've been devouring is starting to shake to the top and make sense (maybe).  I read something a couple days ago about our perceptions on the benefits of a cig.  This is aside or different from our desire or will or hope to remain a non-smoker; we already have that desire or we wouldn't be here.  Basically, it stated that the truly successful folks fully understand and 100% embrace the belief that cigarettes offer ZERO benefit...none. 

 

Anyway, I've been chewing on this since I read it.  It makes sense to me that if ZERO benefit was my authentic, immediate response to a trigger, then there wouldn't be the ongoing bargaining or escalating struggles.  Somewhere in me I must still believe in a benefit, even tho I have will and desire.  "ZERO" is definitely something I am working to understand and secure. 

 

I don't know if this made a lick of sense but I thought I'd put it out there anyway.  Again, I'm glad you made it through the wave.

  • Like 6
JackiMac Newbie

JackiMac

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Glad to see you made it through Jackie.

 

After a couple months into this and often managing it with a death grip, I think some of the info I've been devouring is starting to shake to the top and make sense (maybe).  I read something a couple days ago about our perceptions on the benefits of a cig.  This is aside or different from our desire or will or hope to remain a non-smoker; we already have that desire or we wouldn't be here.  Basically, it stated that the truly successful folks fully understand and 100% embrace the belief that cigarettes offer ZERO benefit...none. 

 

Anyway, I've been chewing on this since I read it.  It makes sense to me that if ZERO benefit was my authentic, immediate response to a trigger, then there wouldn't be the ongoing bargaining or escalating struggles.  Somewhere in me I must still believe in a benefit, even tho I have will and desire.  "ZERO" is definitely something I am working to understand and secure. 

 

I don't know if this made a lick of sense but I thought I'd put it out there anyway.  Again, I'm glad you made it through the wave.

Very very powerful words Runfree and so very true makes so much sense, smoking has no benefit to me, but somehow deep inside there is that pull, I like you need to work towards understanding and dealing with this and realising that Smoking gives me no benefit whatsoever and my life is much more rewarding without it xx

  • Like 1
JackiMac Newbie

JackiMac

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Good job on hanging tough and getting your mind straight!

 

There isn't much you can do when this happens except stay quit if want to reach your goal to be a long term quit. Walk the walk. Part of fighting back is to be that which you desire. Why should smokers and cigarettes scare you?  You just said you are done with that.

 

What do you see yourself doing that is different from what you are doing now, besides fighting the addiction?

 

Have you made a list of places you are going to see, and things you are going to do? Have you imagined yourself doing those things, and seeing those places as a non smoker, which is what you are right now.  Make a list of everything and everyplace you can think of and get out and do it! :)

 

When you see smokers, don't associate them with something you want, associate them with  failure and addiction.

 

This is not you. You have left that behind so like you have already admitted, you should look forward to a great, new life! :)

 

hugs to you Jackie  XXX

 

Markus

Marcus I love to read your posts they are so full of wisdom and its wonderful that after 7 years you are still around here to help us to commit to the quit.  There is so much to look forward to being a non smoker and having the health to enjoy them is a major factor, thanks for believing xx

  • Like 1
Runfree Collaborator

Runfree

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....makes so much sense, ....

 Oh good!  Gah, sometime I get lost in my own head so I'm glad it translated.

 

We're building new muscle, learning a new way of living.  I'm so grateful for the scholars who came before me to help guide the way.  Now it's just a matter of learning it!

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buMbLeB Newbie

buMbLeB

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feel better been for an internet wander, signed up to raise funds for British Heart Foundation, came back here and pull has gone thank you so much everyone xxx

 

 

See, now these are the type of SOS posts people really enjoy!

  • Like 2
Pippa Newbie

Pippa

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Jackie - so glad you made it through ! Great job posting an SOS ! We all want you to do this - so hang in there ... It will get better - I promise xx

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Still winning Newbie

Still winning

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Jackie I totally missed this,  am so so pleased you came out the other side. It passes, it always passes and for a moment...we kinda forget that...just a thought...a bad thought but they all fall away and leave a beautiful sense of freedom and you deserve that!

 

Pleased you fought, pleased you let people carry you, that's amazing...

 

Much love to you beauty.

 

x

  • Like 1
babs609 Apprentice

babs609

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Missed this but you received great support as always and I am so happy for you.  You got through it...you are stronger than you were before it.  yay!!  Head up....look forward...and march!  

  • Like 1

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