I'm so sorry... I'll start again tomorrow.

[Rob]

I feel bad that I've let you all down.

 

Tonight, I've gone to a pub with a lot of smoker friends and I lve relapsed. I admit that I wanted to.

 

My one saving grace is that I'll start again tomorrow. I'll admit that I ive thought about not bothering to even admit this and juts carring on pretending I still have hold of my quit, but don't see the point.

 

I'll catch the train again tomorrow.

[Colleen]

It's terrible that you relapsed but it would be a whole lot worse to pretend you didn't.  You'd be lying to all of us and lying to yourself and that's just not cool at all.  Glad you thought better of it.  Tell us or at least tell yourself how you will cope if in this situation next time around,  Alcohol lowers our inhibitions, maybe refrain from it until you feel secure?  So, now reset your ticker.  Expect to see you back here tomorrow as a non-smoker :)

[BAT]

NOPE IS A LOT EASIER THAN YOU THINK. GLAD YOUR STAYING WITH US  :)

[Runfree]

Bummer!  But yea, pretending is not a healthy way to continue.  Admitting and sharing it may just help someone else too, ya know?  Get back on the train..there's always room.

[Still winning]

Aww Rob, you shoulda called me, I promise I would have supported you. Remember if another trigger startsto  take you yeah. xx

 

See ya tomoz, bright and early. You can do this, trust yourself more, it's honestly great after the wobbles, trust me if you don't trust you this time my lovely. xx

[Rob]

Aww Rob, you shoulda called me, I promise I would have supported you. Remember if another trigger startsto take you yeah. xx

 

See ya tomoz, bright and early. You can do this, trust yourself more, it's honestly great after the wobbles, trust me if you don't trust you this time my lovely. xx

Thanks Marti. The thought had crossed my mind, even thought about SOS post, but didn't feel it was appropriate to waste anyone's effort because I knew my mind was made up. I felt this was something I had to get out my system.

[Rob]

... Not even so much ''get out my system", just wish there could be such a thing as a socialble smoker.

[Doreensfree]

Rob....now you have had a Pratice run....let's get you a sticky quit....

You know you can do it....

See you at nope in the morning....x

[sherry]

Sorry to hear this Rob... but now you've made up your mind to get back on the QT.. you have to know for us, theres no such thing as "social smoking"... sooooo, lets stop and get that thought out of your head, ok? :wub: ...you'll only torment yourself with that kind of think'n.....get a good nights sleep, and start fresh with a positive new non smoking you outlook tomorrow! ;)

[Nicole Diver]

... Not even so much ''get out my system", just wish there could be such a thing as a socialble smoker.

Allen Carr's book or audible is critical in a time like this. Nothing's done that can't be undone - but you must get back on the train immediately to save your own life. Thinking of you lots!

[JackiMac]

Rob there is no such thing as a sociable smoker that is just the junkie in you trying to justify itself, believe me I know because I have had those thoughts too, and I have had the relapses, you either want to smoke or you don't there is no inbetween, for me I no longer drink as I know that once my inhibitions are lowered I would reach for the smokes, and being a non smoker is far more important to me, put tonight out of your head in the morning, do not look back and lead yourself to a brighter and healthier life, you and your body deserve more.  I hold on to the fact that all the long term quitters ahead of me tell me it gets better, and I have seen them wobble and seen them come through it stronger and more secure in the their quits, I want to be that quitter and I believe you do too.

[Still winning]

I liked your comment so you could come back and read this.

 

It takes strength to admit you fell off and it takes strength to get back up. But more than that, Rob you are worth our time! You are worth mine! I gave you that number genuinely, anytime buddy, honestly. I will see you tomorrow. xx

[buMbLeB]

... Not even so much ''get out my system", just wish there could be such a thing as a socialble smoker.

 

Well, then, I've got good news for you - there is such a thing!

 

But the bad news is, it can never be you.

 

I never quite know what to say to relapses, as I never did. But I say that with humility - I never even TRIED to quit for years, because I was so certain I would fail, and was too afraid to try. The illusion that I could "just be a social smoker", or "only smoke when..." was the hook that kept me in the trap. Let it go, and be free.

 

Welcome back!

[El Bandito]

Rob.

 

I get the whole, "I wanted to, so I did, so sorry'" approach.

 

I get the 'I have smoked. I'm going to drink some more, smoke some more then quit tomorrow.' I get it.

 

The quit was flowing really well.

 

I think it might be important to really focus on the next smoke. To savour every second as you deeply pull that cancerous, choking, chemical laden byproduct of fire into your lungs. To fully appreciate the way that it tastes and makes you smell. Won't it be lovely to carry that smell home?

 

You screwed up Rob. That's crap.

 

I screwed up for 30 years, so I kind know what I am talking about.

 

Strong people like you can abstain. I can't.

 

Weak people like me work out that I need to understand that smoking never did anything for me, except make me want another.

 

You screwed up. You know that.

 

You came and posted here after, which is good. Making a commitment to come and pat BEFORE you smoke again, would be better.

 

Make this a bump in the road Rob. An aberration quickly fixed. Don't let it become more than that.

 

Put the cigarette out Rob. Please.

[babs609]

My stomach dropped when I read this.

 

I know I shouldn't take it personal but I do.

 

No such thing as a social smoker. Nothing social about smoking. Not at all.

 

Uggghhhhhhh

 

Please rob....please. Save your life and put the fire out immediately.

 

Start again and never ever ever ever stick another smoke in your mouth and light it on fire. Ever. Nope everyday and please know that the inner junkie is a ducking liar. Worst liar in your life.

 

Life or death rob. Choose life. Please

[Mike.]

ah shit.

 

I wasn't going to post any support, until I was a non-smoker once again. So, disregard my views on your smoking, if they are of the "What the hell" response with you. I am a shinning example of what choosing to smoke again is like, (not good). Once I started again, it became easier and easier to continue with, and harder and harder to stop. You may be already struggling with this now! For 90% of smokers, (from what I followed in your posts, you are one of), we are addicted to nicotine and with that there is no such thing of social smoking for us. Yes, there is a 10% of smokers that are not addicted, and can take it or leave it but, who cares about them. Why in God's name, would they do it, being the physical dangers it poses ... boggles my little mind to even try to comprehend why ... At least, we are struggling with an addiction, that not only is difficult to withdrawal from, (okay easy peasy for some) but, also have a long period of healing time for the physical changes in our brains' to revert to a normal state. Especially during this period, we tend to struggle to find an equilibrium of comfort without nicotine. Then of course, there is the years of training our subconscious minds with the thoughts, that smoking makes things better for us. That is overcome by going through these times in each of our lives when those thoughts bubble up and coming through to the other side without smoking, (sometimes a few times), before we stop hearing the subtle messages like, "Hey Mike, it would be great to smoke right now wouldn't it, so can we please do it?". This all takes effort and that effort takes its toll. Some people are able to push through it to complete abstinence and life-long cessation the first time they quit but, the majority of us don't. Simple statistics have proved that. So, we have company with the vast majority of quitters. This may not be the message, that many here, would want me to share but, so what. It's true, and you need to realize that you have done nothing that the majority of people here haven't done, before they reached their longer quits they have now ...

 

I felt it important to respond to you during this time, in the hopes that you will see this now, and consider what I have to say. I wish I had contacted some people or that last forum, after I had smoked my first day last March, for help on getting back on another quit, because I knew that doing so would be a lot easier than going months, before trying. After that first day of 5 cigarettes, my mind and body, was not radically changed, and I could have had a much easier time quitting again with considerable less amount of healing time to go through before I started to feel good again, without feeding my extra Nicotinic acetylcholine receptors; they would have been so few that it would have with been very little discomfort on my part to allow them to down regulate, and I would have probably not suffered anywhere like I will now well, (there is no maybe about it, actually). I don't wish this for you so, please stop again now. I know you are still new but, you have made considerable gains in nicotine withdrawal, healing from the effects of smoking, and have faced many subconscious triggers to smoke, and had overcome a lot already. Don't throw it away like I did, and top-up with the full-fledged addiction, again.

 

I have followed your postings, and know that you are on the right path for cessation.

 

I hope this helps.

[Nancy]

Rob, I hope it works out for you.  Hate to hear that you smoked, and hate even worse that you have given yourself free pass for a day...hope it does not become days, weeks, months and years...

[SanDar]

Hop back on the train Rob! 

You know you are a non-smoker! 

We are here to help, just climb on board.

[Rob]

Thanks for having me back. I'm back on board.

 

Stu - thanks. Focused on last cigerette, blank mind, think I just block out the negative. But I do know I didn't even enjoy it, and that the grass always seems greener on the other side. Cigerettes are such a lie, would be easier if they could just get rid of them all together.

 

Babs - don't take it personally please. It was my stupid mistake. Your advice and support and everyone else's has helped me through many difficult times and makes deciding to quit a lot easier. I think of it wasn't for the site I wouldn't have nearly as much motivation to stick.

 

Mike - thanks for your really nice and helpful post from the other side. I hope you get the courage to pick a date in the near future jump back on the train.

[DCCXXVII]

Rob... welcome back :)

 

I believe you want to quit... next time just nope it

[beacon]

Rob. I need to see you here as a nonsmoker . Did you through the cigs out already? No more smoking with other smokers. Lessons learned.

 

I am an addict. I can never smoke again, ever, not one, or that would be it.

[MarylandQuitter]

I feel bad that I've let you all down. 

 

Tonight, I've gone to a pub with a lot of smoker friends and I lve relapsed. I admit that I wanted to.

 

My one saving grace is that I'll start again tomorrow. I'll admit that I ive thought about not bothering to even admit this and juts carring on pretending I still have hold of my quit, but don't see the point.

 

I'll catch the train again tomorrow.

 

Rob,

 

We're here to help but you haven't let any of us down, only yourself.  You've woken the addiction back up and if I were you, I would quit right now.  Don't wake up and smoke.  Make today your new quit date. 

 

The point of quitting is to break the addiction which by the way comes with all sorts of nasty diseases.  The point of quitting is to free yourself from the chains of this deadly addiction and to save your life.  Don't ever give up fighting for your life and that's the battle you're in right now.

[Pippa]

Rob - welcome back. As the others have said - there is no such thing as a social smoker - so put that thought out of your head !! Remember how bad that last smoke tasted and make the commitment to NOPE.

 

Make sure you have a plan for when you are next out with your friends. You have a great support network here - including the offer of direct support from Marti - so make the most of it !!

[IamDoingIt]

Rob, first of all, the ONLY person you let down was yourself. We feel sorry for you, but our day goes on. You are the one who has to reset your counter.

 

With that being said....

 

Trust me, there is no such thing as a social smoker. Believe me...I've tried every way in the book to be a smoker and a non-smoker. It just does not work. You are either a smoker or you are not. If you put out your last cigarette a month ago and pick up another.....you're a smoker. We must all remember .... Not One Puff EVER!

 

I am so sick of having to reset quit meters.....

[Mike.]

-snip-

 

You've woken the addiction back up and if I were you, I would quit right now.  Don't wake up and smoke.  Make today your new quit date. 

 

I must echo this. It's a really important point. The withdrawal from ingesting nicotine, most likely will cause physical cravings. The good new is, that it can last no longer than 72 hours and for you, probably less than that. After the withdrawal period, you will be pretty much like you were before tonight. That is, if you do as MQ suggests and make today, your new quit date going forward.

 

Your welcome, for that other post. Keep posting, even it is not, "a bed of roses" for you, in the next while. There are lots of people here, to talk you through this.

 

Good to see, that you have committed to jumping back on the train. Later, you can reflect back about liquor and its ability to dis-inhibit one, and how to deal with it in the future.

 

...