Grrrrrrr

[Kristin]

So much work, zero days off! Husband chewing, friends smoking, my father stinks of cigars and my coworker always puffing on her e-cig at her desk.

 

I keep romancing a strong espresso and smoke. I know it's no good and doesn't actually help any of the above mentioned stress. Still keep picturing myself doing it.

 

Got so bad today I even thought about getting some herbal cigarettes or an e-cig with no nicotine, because that wouldn't count as smoking. (Stoopid!)

 

I read about others relapsing and a part of me is jealous, I start thinking I had better do it now so I don't give up a 6 or 9 month quit.

 

Also PMS, which is a horrible trigger for me.

 

DAMN IT! I know my addict is panicking and using every trick in the book to try and make me slip, just can't figure out how to shut her up!

[Leanna]

Hi Kristin:

 

I know what it's like to romance a cigarette, and I know what it's like to relapse. I'm sorry things are tough right now -- I know you are very busy and are probably stressed beyond words. You have to keep telling yourself that regardless of what's happening in your life, smoking won't help. It in no way will take away your stress and will make you feel worse (the disappointment and regret relapse brings). I know life stinks right now, but ride it out. She will eventually shut the hell up. You have to believe in that. You will get to a point where your addiction will be a distant memory. 

[Jenny]

This is a common time in a quit to be questioning your quit.  We've all done it.  I cannot tell you exactly when the urge will fade but I can tell you it will and if you give in now you'll never know what it feels like to truly be free.  When I went through these times I always tried to imagine how uncomfortable a smoking related disease was.  The craves cannot be worse than that.

The truth is that smoking isn't going to help a thing and I know you know that already.  Our problems are still there whether we smoke or not.  

 

You have more than 3 months quit and you will never have to go through that first 3 months again as long as you don't smoke.  You'll get past this stage and your quit will be stronger for having been tested.  

[babs609]

hello darlin!  I found this gem you wrote in november....your own words

 

 

Kristin,

You got this thing woman! How many times did you think it would never be you who managed to quit? Remember how it felt to believe you were the only one who couldn't do it? Guess what? YOU DID IT!

Don't you dare let a hard day or bad mood drag you back into that pit of shame and death.

Think about being a little girl watching grandpa die from lung cancer, think about listening to mom cough and gag all night long and take the burnt tobacco from other people's butts to have a rollie in the morning. Think about grandma smoking with emphyzema and now on oxygen, unable to travel to see her great granddaughter. Think about dad and his strength to quit, all though not soon enough to prevent his emphyzema. Think of the pain on his face when he can't walk to the park with the kids because for him life is like breathing through a straw.

Think of the pride on your sons face when he says mommy doesn't smoke anymore. Think about 30 years from now playing with your grandchildren. Make Damn sure you can be there with them and play!!

If none of that works think about the money you save, the nice clean car, the smell of your shampoo and perfume. Think about clean teeth and improved gum health.

Get pissed off at these horrible companies that trick people into giving up not only quantity but quality of life by selling cigarettes. GET REALLY PISSED!

Then say no Kristin. Just don't smoke. You don't do that anymore. You won't let them take anymore health and happiness out of your life.

 

this is why you will not smoke and as a result of that....you will be stronger than you were yesterday  :)

[Kristin]

One foot in front of the other...

[Colleen]

Kristin...We all have these days, weeks months even.  Some of us think about smoking sometimes, myself included.  We don't act on it though because we don't want to have to repeat the process over again and again.  The farther along you get, the stronger you will be.  Find another outlet to relieve stress, exercise?  The numbers game maybe?  If all else fails, talk to us...we will do our best to talk you out of it even if we have to beat you over the head with a stick :)

[Kristin]

Feels better just putting it out there. All the things I mentioned are happening, trying to find a way to smoke without smoking is planning a relapse... screw that. I just got a new handbag with a he money I have saved and some cute sandals for summer are next. Not giving them up for some stank nasty cigarettes.

[babs609]

Feels better just putting it out there. All the things I mentioned are happening, trying to find a way to smoke without smoking is planning a relapse... screw that. I just got a new handbag with a he money I have saved and some cute sandals for summer are next. Not giving them up for some stank nasty cigarettes.

you are well educated on this sneaky addiction...good for you!!

[Leanna]

Feels better just putting it out there. All the things I mentioned are happening, trying to find a way to smoke without smoking is planning a relapse... screw that. I just got a new handbag with a he money I have saved and some cute sandals for summer are next. Not giving them up for some stank nasty cigarettes.

 

Yeeeees. Shopping is so much better than smoking! 

[Kristin]

you are well educated on this sneaky addiction...good for you!!

You all taught me education was the key. You guys are right! :)

[BAT]

Super K .... In about 10 seconds you are going to get hit with a butt load of positive vibes. .... BRACE YOURSELF !!!!!  :)

[Colleen]

Feels better just putting it out there. All the things I mentioned are happening, trying to find a way to smoke without smoking is planning a relapse... screw that. I just got a new handbag with a he money I have saved and some cute sandals for summer are next. Not giving them up for some stank nasty cigarettes.

Love the attitude Kristin!  Nothing wrong with venting.  New purse and sandals will last a whole lot longer than a pack of nasties.  This week I've found myself romancing smoking a couple of times, must be the crappy weather but I'd rather have a glass of wine...it actually lasts longer than a smoke :)

[Leanna]

Steve bought cigars tonight and all I could think was, "Wow, I'd really like one of those."

 

I HATE cigars. I think it's just habit for me to have these smoking thoughts sometimes, even 2.5 years later. Over time, they will become much less intense and you'll be thinking to yourself, "Now why would I want to do a thing like that?"

 

Ultimately though, you just have to grit your teeth and fight through these cravings. Nothing is worth giving up your quit for. There are much nicer things you can spend your hard-earned money on, which I'm very glad that you're doing! 

[Nicole Diver]

I am so glad you are talking through this!  That speaks volumes for your commitment to being happy and healthy.

Jenny is right, this is a common thing to happen around this time in a quit.  And you are right too, one foot in front of the other.

It's easy to forget the bad stuff.  I think the 'romancing the cig' thread might help you right now as well.

We got your back!

[Chrysalis]

Feels better just putting it out there. All the things I mentioned are happening, trying to find a way to smoke without smoking is planning a relapse... screw that. I just got a new handbag with a he money I have saved and some cute sandals for summer are next. Not giving them up for some stank nasty cigarettes.

 

Kristin, you GET it. You really, truly GET it!! Your Nicodemon is trying her best to suck you into a relapse. I'm so glad that you understand that. If you can hang in there just a little longer-- just 10 minutes-- your craving will fade. And then hang in just 10 more minutes. That's all-- just 10 minutes. You can do that, can't you? Sure you can. Then 10 more minutes... you get the point. And during those 10 minuteses (sp?) read and re-read your brilliant message to yourself that you wrote in November. That's priceless!

 

You do NOT have to throw away your quit. You really don't. Just hold on for a few minutes. Distract yourself any way you can. And feel your strength grow by the minute. You want to be there for your kids and your grandkids more than you want to smoke. Keep repeating that to yourself. 

[Kristin]

You are all wonderful people! Thank you for being here.

[Leanna]

We will help any way we can. :) 

[Kristin]

Ok, big cup of tea and walk with the dog here I come.

[Gabby]

Just hang on tight

[Runfree]

I'm really glad to read you made it past this one Kristin.  I feel like I'm too new to share anything of substance so I'll just stick with saying I know what you mean when you refer to that niggling, annoying addict voice.  Today I saw Laura say, "you're right, the monster is awake"....that said it all.  Niggling and annoying is one thing...the junkie woman my first 72 hrs, sobbing my way through withdrawal because the monster is awake is a whole other game.  

 

We gain strength from where we need to get to the other side, huh?  A year from now we'll have more peace of mind..they promise it :)

[El Bandito]

On behalf of the dog. yay!

 

Pain in the ass isn't it Kristin?

 

I used to get really annoyed by these sudden blasts. Then I realised that the addiction ran very very deep and that they were actually signs of the sub conscious working out the wrinkles. The craves are you ridding yourself of ALL of the addiction. They carry on for a while, but they become less intense.

 

Great work posting, great work looking for the signs, great work gritting your teeth.

 

Only the vigilant quit survives.

[joe]

I missed this last night Kristin, but just want to give you an "atta girl"!!!

 

You seen hubby chewing..even when I smoked, THATS nothing that I ever thought about doing....what a gross habit that is...that rates right up there with stinky breath from...smoking!! ..so remember...there is no REAL reason to envy what any nicotine user is doing...instead, realize THEY envy YOU because you are no longer handcuffed to the habit..

 

You seriously did a great job of rationalizing why smoking has nothing to offer you!

 

3 months was tough on me, and most everyone here, so, look at it as one of the last major hurdles you have to clear before the "easy Peasy" part of your quit can begin...there will always be some sort of hurdle...we are addicts, and because of that, we will always "think" about it...however... The longer we say no...the easier it gets to "flick" those thoughts from our minds!!

[Doreensfree]

Keep surging ahead.....the magic will come.....I promise....

My quit wasn't easy peasy.....but I promised myself I wouldn't smoke no matter what....

Keep reminding yourself...how brilliant you doing.....and don't forget those special treats.....

[JackiMac]

Hi Sweetheart so sorry Im coming in at the tail end again!!! story of my life lol, Addiction is a pain, I relapsed at 7 months and at 3 months and remember 3 months seemed to be a sitckler for a lot of us on here, No man's land it was called, we didn't know where we were where we were going or why we were even here, so glad you reached out and so glad there were so many here to help you through, you should be really proud of yourself, you kicked nicotine's butt.  I remember so many quitters here who started with me and who didn't relapse who are now talking about the freedom, it does come, it is hard work,  but it is so worth the battling to reach the end goal, I keep telling myself its just thoughts, don't listen to them, and don't give them room to grow, do do ignite the fire.  Stand tall and stand proud xxx

[Jenny]

How are you doing today Kristin?  I hope you are well.   I am so pleased you posted here last night when you were feeling frustrated.  Please use this forum to vent as much as you need.  Venting is part of the process.  xx