Starting over

[Mastergardener]

I threw myself off the train yesterday. Will step back on tomorrow.

[Oneistoo]

That's no fun, MG. But you know what the right way is and how to climb back up. We're here for you. :)

[Nancy]

Oh, Karen, I am so sorry to hear that...was just about to post for your 4 months.  What happened?

[BAT]

Strap yourself in tight this time. We will all ride out the rough spots together  :)

[Doreensfree]

Wow Karen...

Sorry to read this....you had a fantastic quit......

Romancing the cig......

I bet it wasn't as good as you thought it would be....

Your seat is still here....jump back on board.....

[ChRiSpY]

Get up...dust yourself off and move forward... ONLY FORWARD THIS TIME!!!

 

What made you smoke?

[Runfree]

:(  

 

Glad to hear you're grabbing ahold today and not two years from now.  We have room; dinner served at 6PM. :)

[babs609]

ugggghh......I did not see this coming....not at all

 

Please Karen...I know it is just "one more day"  but every cigarette you smoke from now till tomorrow will not only make tomorrow harder...you also run the risk of tomorrow not coming..and then another tomorrow...

 

please...put it down now

[Colleen]

Stinks for sure, but glad you are back at it.  Next time you feel yourself slipping, talk to us...so we can help :)

[Tink]

I wish you would have posted an sos karen, it saved me twice, the only thing now is to learn from the experience and keep moving forward, so glad you jumped back on board x 

[MarylandQuitter]

What happened to lead up to this?  As you know, relapses are planned.  You must have been entertaining some junkie thinking beforehand?

 

Glad you're a non-smoker again.  :)

[Devil Doll]

I'm sorry Karen good job jumping right back on.

[robert]

Was this just a garden variety relapse or did something extraordinary happen? Please tell us more, we would like to help.

[El Bandito]

Wow.

 

A story to be told.

 

What went wrong Karen?

 

Devastated that you fell off - Glad you are back on.

[Sonic]

So sorry to hear this Karen, please explain what led to you smoking again

[Gabby]

Sorry to hear this.  Good luck for tomorrow

[Still winning]

Long ol practise quit twinny, sorry you threw yourself off.

 

Would have been well in an SOS for you, so you know.

 

Sending strength for tomorrow cause you know what...weren't most of our "firsts" either!

 

No chickening out Mrs, you absolutely can do this.

 

Much love.

 

x

[beacon]

Hi Karen, today is the day. The train has a seat . Are yo on board? :)

[Doreensfree]

Yes Karen....i see a nice window seat....it's has your name on it.....

[Mastergardener]

Yes, I'm here. Thank you all for the encouragement and saving a seat, rather than two by fours.

As to why? A crisis arose and I used it as an excuse to smoke. Yes, I HAD been romancing smoking lately, and strangely enough, at the same time not thinking about smoking as much. But when I did think about it, the romance was definitely there.

One good thing has come out of this. I truly realize that I cannot smoke just one cigarette. It tasted horrible, but the nicotine felt wonderful, real hello darkness my old friend.

And I didn't send an SOS because, as Jackie (I think) said, I WANTED to smoke. I didn't want to be talked down. So, I think it is important not to let yourself get to that stage. How, I am not sure :(  I do think that I need to read more and I will do that.

Again, thank you all for slowing the train so that I could jump back on board :)

[Pippa]

((Karen))) - so sorry to read you smoked but so happy you have jumped straight back on board !! Now remember - we are here for you - so make sure you stay close - you can do this ! :-)

[Doreensfree]

Sooo glad you took that seat offer....

Never give up.....giving up......

You can do it......make this your sticky sweetheart...

[ChRiSpY]

Shitty things will happen to you again unfortunately.  Make a plan of action for what you are going to do when it happens..... smoking is no longer an option.

 

Onward and upward... let's go.

[JackiMac]

Hi my lovely, so glad to see you managed to jump straight on, the addiction stinks doesnt it!  It really is a case of being stronger than the addiction and realising that its not you who wants to smoke but the addiction making you think that, we gave it room to grow and it grows quickly, when that thought comes into our heads we need to be saying to ourselves that we have got this far in our quit without the need for nicotine so why the hell do we think we need it now, because we most certainly don't.  Take this forward now to the level of sticky, you can and you will do this believe in you xxx

[beacon]

Recently I realized that when I feel a strong emotion, particulary a negative feeling, I want it to go away immediately because I caanot stand feeling bad. I am very obsessive in my thought patterns so a strong bad feeling will have me replaying every resentment and self defeating thought for hours. So, I want a distraction, a soothing tool. A learned reaction, and one of my primary reactions, was to smoke. Another is to eat. Another was to drink, or do other party favors. Waaaay down on the list was nonhurtful things such as talk it out or get some fresh air.

 

I found it helpful in my journey as a nonsmoker to recognize if I could my patterns of desiring a cigarette, that my romancing was not really about smoking at all.

 

Also, besides all that, even though your body cries out for that smoke, nope. Never.