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Solid in my NOPE but...


Runfree

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Hey Seasoned QTers,

 

I'm just shy of a 2 month quit and for the most part things are going well.  I have no intention of smoking, so this is not a SOS of that nature, but I would really appreciate your insight on a couple things that are bothering me.  I'm wondering...

 

When can I anticipate those sporadic, out of the blue hard cravings (or whatever they are) to stop?  Maybe month 4 or 5?   There isn't a specific time of day they hit, like mornings or after meals, it's just random.  They're intense and I want them behind me soon!  So, when did they lessen for you?

 

When do mood swings even out?  I don't mean that junkie anxiety kind of thing during hell week.  More like...I can go from happy go lucky to tears or frustration in short order and it's disturbing.  I will say it's getting better, but shouldn't I be past this by now?  Did you guys have these blasts or spikes of short-temperedness or tears and if so, when did it ease up?  And it's not always when faced with a stressful situation.  I can be alone on a treadmill, music and endorphins pumping and bam!....tears.  Maybe it has nothing to do with addiction recovery....which is mighty scary too.

 

I just want to feel better...solid.  And I want to know how much longer I can anticipate this shaky ground.  Thanks everyone!

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You're doing great with your quit, RF, and you are smart to reach out with your concerns. Remember that 2 months is still considered a "newbie" so your mind and your body are still trying to adjust to your new reality. Everybody's quit is different so no one can tell you how long this will go on. But at 2 months your quit is totally normal.

 

Frankly, from now until at least 6 months, the most important weapon you will need to keep your quit is patience. I'm sure that your cravings and mood swings are better now than they were during the first couple of weeks. Two months from now they will be better still. But many people relapse at this point not because they can't STAND the withdrawal symptoms but because they are just darned TIRED of them! I for sure had a really rough patch like that at around weeks 10-12-- WHEN WILL THIS END??!! All I can recommend is that you remind yourself of the reasons why you quit in the first place, focus on keeping your quit for just one more day (or one more hour or one more minute) and trust that this WILL gradually end because it will. Hang tough, honey. Distract yourself from thinking about smoking and N.O.P.E.!

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Hey my friend. It can be a bit disconcerting can't it but please rest assured this is all in the "normal reaction time" camp.

 

How long, well it really is different for everyone and that's the truth of it so it's pretty hard to say. For me on month 4 I started to level out, before that I had good days and bad days and I did still...but more became good at that point. I had a wobble month later but that was situational (stress related).  So as you asked, that's mine...but truly the next person will say week 3, or month 8 so it's tough.

 

Maybe start blogging or tracking your journey so you can start to see your own progress...that really helped me.

 

You are doing amazing though!! This can be a tough time in the journey. The quit has somehow lost it's sparkle and trudging gets old and it's just meh! Now is the perfect time to line up some treats for yourself! Start writing down things to spend your quit money on, big and small. Buy tissues every week, it will pass, good and bad, it always passes and so do the tears. Every moment you go through is your body fighting out the crap, embrace that...feeling emotional...boom, another chemical must be leaving my body, good riddance!! 

 

Virtual hugs too, it can be un nerving but you gave yourself the best gift ever here and you need to trust that. Give the time some time ey.

 

x

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By decree of the Bandit, the craves and mood swings are banished.

 

There you go.

 

I wish it were that easy.

 

The craves are just triggers, memories of addiction. Increasingly, they feel more like memories. The trick is not to empower them or to build them up. We run the risk of being our own worse enemies here.

 

The moods. Part body chemistry, part empowered quitter. This one calms quite quickly, or did for me at least.

 

Welcome to the new you RF! Great work.

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Thank you!  I really appreciate your responses.  If it's par for the course and I have more time in this phase, alright...for my mind, it's better to know this.  I don't like it and I feel like a neurotic, but I guess...  OK, forging onward.... :wacko:

 

Hey Bandit, I have a few other areas of concern that could use your mighty powers.  Can we talk?

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HI Runfree, this is my 3rd quit and my sticky quit in a year, those feelings, craves that you are talking about were my downfall, I was prepared for them and expected them and relished them in the first few months, then became lenient against them and when a hard one hit, I didn't have or use my strength to overcome it, be prepared is the advice that I would give you, we are all different in our quits, some find it easier some of us struggle, but as long as you are stronger and determined then you will succeed, I was expecting it all to be over in a flash and became frustrated, why was I still feeling this way, doubt crept into my mind and BAM I lost my wonderful quit, good to see you sharing how you are feeling, it certainly helps to strengthen your resolve, you are doing brilliantly and we are all here to support you xx

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I felt the same way you do.  For me, and I think most, it's a very gradual process.   So gradual it can be easy to miss the improvements.  I remember at one point, maybe 6-7 months in that I had the realization that I was not thinking of smoking so much.   I was starting to have long gaps of time where I didn't think of it at all and that was such a relief.  It's exhausting in the early months constantly having smoking in your thoughts.  It's impossible to say when the time will come that you are feeling like you've turned the corner in your quit but I can promise you that it will happen.  You are doing wonderfully thus far.  Excellent work!

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RF, so sorry, but you have awhile to go yet!!  The cravings will get fewer and fewer, but my emotions definitely were a roller coaster  until about 6 months, and then started to get better.  In my case, my go to solution for every emotion for 40 years was to smoke a cigarette.  I am still learning different ways to deal with emotions....but I don't ever crave a cigarette.

 

You are doing so well....keep up the great work! 

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I remember feeling that way, just as you do.  I wanted the cravings to go away.  Seemed the more I wanted that...the more they seemed to come and more annoying they were.  

Remembering that every time I got through a hard craving meant that I was stronger and my addiction was getting weaker---well...that seemed to help me for some reason.  

You are a warrior in training...and you are right where you need to be.  Every day you do get stronger...some days you just can't see it.  Then one day you will think to yourself "wow, it's been days since I've had a hard craving"  then it will be weeks, then months...finally years. 

 

Congratulations to you on your 2 months smoke free life!  It only gets better

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I'm sorry you feel this way..but it's part of the process.  It stinks, but has it's purpose.  Everyone is different.  It's tough to say when the moment will come that you feel better.  It's really sort of gradual, to be honest.  

 

Try to keep busy and keep your mind off of it and it will come...we are always here if you need to vent or chat :)

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I've read and reread your responses.  Thank you for these nuggets of hard fought wisdom and experience.  It really does help, as does your support.  So, other than "everyone's quit is different", the general consensus is to expect the same for a while.  I think knowing this will in the least help ease the frustration with myself in the moment.  Better days ahead, eh?    

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I can only mirror the replies...

Everyone is different....I just said to myself....

No matter what is happening....no matter how I feel...don't smoke....

Don't over think anything....don't look ahead....just get through this one day....

Deal with tomorrow...tomorrow....

Your a fabulous non smoker....high five..

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Mighty powers reserved for Quit Smoking purposes...sorry.

 

I found that after a couple of months it was important to focus on the positives, make some affirmations and reward myself..

 

So, RF - 700 stinky horrible cigarettes that you have NOT clogged your lungs up with. GREAT WORK!

Your breath is probably quite nice now....your skin, teeth and gums will be getting better. Your health has markedly improved. Way to Go!

$380 Dollars better off - does that buy a new igloo in Alaska?

 

You look better. You smell better. You breathe better, You are richer. You are possessed with a new self-confidence.

 

Better days are here! GO RF!

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Hello RF :)

 

Its true, you are doing really well :)

 

For me, the time when my mood swings calmed down, and the time when big craves all but stopped was around the 5-6 month mark... Since then it has been pretty straightforward, and even if I were to get a crave (which I can't even remember the last), I know the drill :)

 

Honestly, one day you will simply forget that you were even a smoker for days and weeks on end, with only little things that remind you occasionally.

 

Have a great day, and congrats on 2 months!

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I recently had a huge craving visiting my smoking neighbor (this quit it hasn't been a problem) but I realised I forgot to pledge NOPE and panicked almost, so I said it outloud apologizing to my neighbor, saying sorry have to say this for myself. Kinda weird. I'm working to 2 months and start to relax in my quit, still have the moodswings but I relax and take it for fact I won't smoke no more. So relieved I was after 1 / 2 weeks like I beat it well eyes opener I haven't yet; nicodemon is still creeping around. Trying to get you into junkiethinking. And helps A LOT I don't feed my brain anymore nicotine but the mental war isn't over yet; did I won a view battles hell yea but I have to stay focussed! Don't let junkie thinking caught you of guard...

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Hey RF! Still struggling myself some days. When I hit a hard spot I think of a thread here called executive assistant. It helps for me to take the perspective that each trigger I work through is rewiring my brain to the new non smoking version of my life. I spent 17 years working cigarettes into every aspect of my life, it's going to take awhile to undo all of them and thats ok. Yesterday we had my son's bday party, and lots of my old smoking friends were there. The whole event was trigger central, because I haven't yet faced down those particular smoking cues.

Stay positive and keep at it one step at a time. You can do this.

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This probably sucks to hear, but the best advice I can give you is to take it day by day, hour by hour.  At least that's how it was for me for the first 4-5 months.  Some days were better than others...that's when I was lucky enough to count up by 1 day at a time.  But some days were rougher.  And those were the days I counted time by the hour, sometimes by the minute.  I guess that's just what we have to go through to beat addiction.  If it was easy, it probably wouldn't be worth it.  I know it's tough now...and it might seem daunting to get to that point when you're no longer counting the days, hours, and minutes.  But if you stick to it, I guarantee you that one day, you'll wake up and you'll realize that you stopped counting a while ago...but you just won't remember exactly when.  And that's when time will speed up again. :)  Stay with it...you're doing great.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Like you. I'm fighting it Runfree not every day but the bad cravings really suck when they hit. I chew gum. It helps. And I sleep if I can't get my mind focused on something else. We have better days coming. Just need to be strong & patient....it WILL get better. As for grumpiness, I can't say I have had that, but I do have little initiative to do things I used to enjoy. I'm kind of sad..this too is normal. And I have read that once our endorphins stabilize, life straightens out & returns to normal. We're Newbies so we have a ways to go but it WILL get better!

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It's hard work to quit. I have had some great highs...but it's hard work to stay vigilant. Everything is being rewired. One thing I read in a book on changing habits is that it's hard to change more than one thing at a time. I was eating healthy before I quit, but that's harder to keep up with 100%  right now. I've added exercise but moderately. What I don't like is the rapid mood changes. I'm with you there. I can get very irritable very quickly. Have a short fuse. I have to watch my behavior. It's like babysitting a toddler, and who would want to do that 24/7? When i get a lot of tension I have to move around. Getting up and moving around seems to decrease the tension. Someone wrote on one of my threads, "Embrace the Suck," and saying that to myself has actually helped. Keep it simple, I guess. Brave and honest post. Thank you! :tender:

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I know when alcoholics are in rehab they are given huge amounts of B vitamins to calm down central nervous system. Seems like this might work for early quit jangled nerves. I wouldn't think it's a permanent solution...but think I'm going to experiment for a few weeks. Niacin is the primary B Vit that's needed...I think...but not the kind that gives you that hot rush which is what the ....who are those people who do the detox thing?....recommend. Just a plain B complex is okay, I think, but taken daily with commitment...maybe twice daily for a week or two.

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I have a ton of stuff to do, and many things don't get done. Frustrating. I must have

fueled myself for years on tons of coffee and cigarettes. Hardest thing is

adjusting to new energy level. Can't push myself like the old days. I'm

sure all this will improve. Patience. Patience. Patience.

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