The roller coaster ride

[babs609]

Quitting smoking is often referred to a roller coaster ride, and with good reason.  While one minute you are feeling confident and strong that you finally "beat" that sucker.  Thinking.."Yes!  I'm doing it..I'm gonna make it"..only to be followed by feelings of doubt, fear, anger, frustration, sadness, lonliness..and these feelings can change within just moments.  This is the part that would beat me down in prior attempts.  I just was tired of the ups and downs.  I think having the "ups" was actually a deterrent to my quit because it would set me up...when I would feel restless...it would piss me off because I thought I was done with all that.

 

Please please please...keep in mind...these thoughts that just pop up out of nowhere are not YOU.  Any thoughts that pop in our heads are not actually us.  We aren't controlling them...we are just going about our business and them BAM!  there's a thought.  Now....you have a decision to make.  If you are someone who normally runs with their thoughts...this could be trouble for you.  You actually may believe these thoughts to be true without question.  You give these thoughts power by believing they are true when in fact.....they are a complete lie all made up in your head. 

 

Being an ex-smoker in the early days or weeks of quitting without truly grasping the reality that your thoughts are not true...then you may be not only heading for relapse but are in danger of becoming a chronic relapser until you change your thought patterns. 

 

No matter what...don't believe you are a weak person.  This kind of thinking re-enforces to your subconcious that other quitters are stronger and you are weaker and therefore....quitting is harder or even impossible for you.  That's total BULL$HIT.  That just gives the addiction more power.  It's already powerful...more powerful than you.  Otherwise..you would have quit long ago or maybe not even started.  

 

Although the addiction is stronger than you....it's not smarter. 

 

"Keep your friends close and your enemy's closer"....that saying couldn't be further from the truth when referring to the addiction.  Learn all you can about the addiction.  Don't just read....absorb it...live it...taste it....feel it...and most of all...believe it.  Learn all the tricks it will try to play on you...learn what fellow quitters have done when faced with these challenges. 

 

Believe with your whole heart that you are no different than anyone else.  You are not weaker than us...your addiction is not stronger than ours... 

 

Until you understand that...you will either struggle and continue this fight and give up quitting altogether until illness or death forces you to quit....OR..you will struggle and fight and relapse after relapse after relapse until you either finally absorb the teachings of fellow quitters...wasting months or years in the meantime and just making it harder for yourself than it really has to be.

 

I wish this could be a post where a lightbulb goes off in your head and you say "aha! I got it!!!  I finally got it"  But that lightbulb moment is different for everyone and that's why I just ask everyone lurking and reading and contemplating quitting...to just keep coming back here...keep reading...keep reading...keep reading.  Lots of posts and video's to help you "undo the brainwashing" that has been planted in your head from the years of being a smoker.  It takes time......it takes patience..it takes re-enforcement... In short, it takes work...but it is sooooooo worth it.

 

When you finally are ready...and you put down your final cigarette...

 

Keep your arms and legs in at all times...put your buckle on...and enjoy the ride.  You might as well because even though we enjoy when we feel good...it's the hard times that strengthens you.

 

 

ONE DAY AT A TIME>>>ONE MOMENT AT A TIME

[Rob]

Awesome post Babs, enjoyed reading it.

[Mike.]

Hi, babs.

 

I *like* this post too!

 

I usually don't do the *like* thinger. It seems a popularity contest to me.

 

:) Nor, smileys much. But, I gave you one today. Consider it a *gold star*.

 

...

[babs609]

:)

 

thank you both!! I do understand about the "like" thing

 

I am honored

 

;)

[JackiMac]

Awesome Post Babs hit me right behind the eyes when you said about feeling weaker than other quitters, and not truly grasping the reality of it all, finally beginning to sink in my quit is for keeps, Im not just playing at this, I mean business and its not going to be a ride in the park, my craves, thoughts and emotions are not going to disappear overnight I have to deal with them head on, I choose to become a smoker all those years ago and now I am choosing to become a non smoker, I am in control of how this quit goes, nothing more nothing less.,

[babs609]

Awesome Post Babs hit me right behind the eyes when you said about feeling weaker than other quitters, and not truly grasping the reality of it all, finally beginning to sink in my quit is for keeps, Im not just playing at this, I mean business and its not going to be a ride in the park, my craves, thoughts and emotions are not going to disappear overnight I have to deal with them head on, I choose to become a smoker all those years ago and now I am choosing to become a non smoker, I am in control of how this quit goes, nothing more nothing less.,

 

excellent!! 

Don't forget....in between those dreadfull moments of killer craves...are wonderful moments in your life...where you are actually laughing and smiling and enjoying.  I'm betting those moments are multiplied compared to the rough times...but as humans..we tend to magnify the negative unless we make an intentional effort to focus on the good times.

[Mike.]

snip

...but as humans..we tend to magnify the negative unless we make an intentional effort to focus on the good times.

 

May be.

 

But, we do naturally forget more of the negative stuff in time, or we would find life unbearable. That's good news, because the good stuff is remembered and can be drawn upon, for us to emulate behaviours to achieve "good times", in the future.

[babs609]

So true!

If I had remembered how labor felt like...I would have never had more kids after the first. Lol

 

Or like a breakup....start remembering only the good times and forgetting why you broke up in the first place.

 

Keywords here are. "In time"

 

Good stuff mike. :)

[Tyme2B]

Such an inspiring post Babs! You are so right...the key words are "in time"! I can relate to your comments about feeling weaker than other quitters....we all are on an emotional roller coaster....but in time this is going to pass just like other negative memories of the past weaken with time. Learning to cope with stress or even past practices of rewarding one's self with a smoke will be changed....whatever positive mechanism we decide to replace that smoke with will take time to achieve. I'm learning......once we make that choice & stick to it, time will start to reward us. I'm still holding on tight for this ride....Day 16....but I'm way more comfortable on the ride than I was 2 weeks ago! Time is the key.

[Doreensfree]

Bump for Kenzie

[kenzie_peyton]

thanks!

Bump for Kenzie

[babs609]

printed this out for a friend of mine who is in the early days of quitting and is struggling.  Hope it helps her and also anyone else reading this today

[Whispers]

6 minutes ago, babs609 said:

printed this out for a friend of mine who is in the early days of quitting and is struggling.  Hope it helps her and also anyone else reading this today

I just read this, good post

[Sslip]

Babs, thanks for the bump. These posts seem to pop up at really timely moments. Maybe I'm just a bit lucky. 

[Doreensfree]

Bump...good post !!!

[jillar]

Very good post, thank you for bumping it @Doreensfree. I think it's a good one to add to the pick of the week blog  

[Doreensfree]

For Newbies !!!

[jillar]

@Brioski, this may help...