Need Ideas and Advice

[Trish]

So I am really excited that my dad and my sister are coming to visit from PA in about a week.  Excited and a bit nervous.  Dad quit smoking for two years but started again.  Sissy smokes when she drinks and there will definitely be some of that going on...always is when we visit.  So, I am used to being around my hubby that smokes, but he smokes cigars so that's never an issue.  I am not used to being around people who smoke cigs on a regular basis.  I know that some of you have to deal with this on a daily basis. 

 

I have already gotten some great advice from a few members, but am just looking to see any other tidbits out there that may be helpful.  I have been preparing myself mentally for this and am feeling pretty confident.  But let's face it, I have already relapsed twice and I don't want to do that again!

 

 

[...]

It's very simple.

 

Don't

Put

Things

In

Your

Mouth

And

Set

Them

On

Fire.

 

Just DON'T smoke.

 

Do anything but not smoke

[El Bandito]

Trish - Tiff has a point!

 

Ok - I think planning is in order. Highest risk time is going to be when there is drink around. Where is that going to be? Out or at home?

Is home a smoking place - or a non smoking place?

 

I guess the question is - are you going to be in an environment where everyone is merrily smoking away, or will they need to go out to smoke?

[Petra]

Keep a list of all the reasons you quit smoking and put it in your pocket.  Read it like five times a day.  When they light up, look at your list or recall it in your mind. Do not romance the smoke.  If you start getting those feelings you need to knock them off right away!  Come here, go to the bathroom, punch a pillow, do anything except allow those feelings to fester.

 

Be oh so very happy that you are not a slave anymore like they are.   

 

Remember that one puff will lead to a pack a day.  I keep my list on my phone and refer to it often.  I still even add to the list now and then. 

[action]

Hi Trish, I have been lucky ; I have not had to really deal with anything like this.

 

But all you have to do is look down at your ticker - '10 days since I stopped making excuses'.

 

You will not make any excuses this time. You will not smoke. I believe in you.

[Ladybug]

Explain to them that you love your "quit" and how much it changed you life...and let them know that you will walk away if it will be too tempting.

 

They will understand!

 

You don't smoke anymore..so don't worry too much! There will always be smokers around you and they will envy you, because you are not any longer one of them!

[sgt.barney]

You are worried about something that is not gonna even matter.

 

You will be fine.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[Lynn]

You don't want to smoke, so you will not.  Ask them not to smoke in the house.  If you are outside and they are smoking, you don't smoke anymore so it will not be an issue.  Do not romance the cigarette- it does nothing for you. You got this.  Have fun and don't stress out over it.

[Trish]

Trish - Tiff has a point!

 

Ok - I think planning is in order. Highest risk time is going to be when there is drink around. Where is that going to be? Out or at home?

Is home a smoking place - or a non smoking place?

 

I guess the question is - are you going to be in an environment where everyone is merrily smoking away, or will they need to go out to smoke?

Mostly will be home...don't anticipate going out much except to kids sporting events, maybe to dinner.  (It's harder to be a smoker than a non smoker there.)  We don't smoke in the house, so that's good.  But as long as there is nice weather, I expect we will spend most of our time outside.  

[El Bandito]

Ok, so inside is your haven.

 

Mostly, have a great time. All smokers expect ex smokers to be clenching their fists, gazing longingly at cigarettes.

 

Seeing an ex smoker happy can be a bit thought provoking for them!

 

They smoke because they are addicted and think they can't stop. They want to be where you are.

 

Have fun, and if you need a couple of minutes to gather your thoughts, just take those minutes inside.

 

You got this. Enjoy having them visit!

[JackiMac]

Trish you don't want to smoke do you? your not going to relapse are you? its all part of NOPE, NOT ONE PUFF EVER, as lynn said ask them respectfully to please smoke outside as you want to protect your quit, tell them how important it is for you, keep focused on why you want to quit and I think you will be surprised as how easy it will be not to light up, you are in control of your quit, and the only way you will light up is if you want to.  You can do this, enjoy their visit too as thats very important to still enjoy yourself, we got you, just don't doubt yourself Trish you can and you will do this  :D

[sharonsiff]

I'm not saying you will for one minute...but....whatever you do don't envy them.

 

I suspect my past failed attempts, around smokers, have been due to the envy.

 

You don't envy them, you don't smoke so have a wonderful family time together :)

[Soberjulie]

It always helps me to look at smokers and say to myself "Poor things....they 'have' to smoke" 

[Trish]

Thanks guys...you all make awesome points!

[Still winning]

If you are watching them, watch when the "catch" happens, ya know when they inhale and the poisons overtake! Know they HAVE to smoke and you CHOOSE not too. Mostly stop kicking yourself, your relapse is done and dusted, all done, nothing to see here!!  You got this Trish, those poor saps think they are in control, you KNOW you are. Watching smokers always made me feel more powerful in my quit, and if it didn't...I ran away to re-group lol.  I laugh now, but you can do that, just walk away and breath it out. Come back stronger and ready to watch properly again how those poor souls HAVE to smoke because they aren't as strong as you...

 

and shhh, but maybe....those poor souls will look at you and think maybe I can stop too.....

 

xx

[Tink]

cigars all round LOL sorry couldnt resit that one xx

 

I hate certain drinks (its true) but I still socialize with those people who drink them, I see smokers as the same now.

 

when I was at your stage of quit I was exactly the same so I understand your apprehension - but I and many others are testament to that you can do it if you WANT to.

 

sneak off and get on the board if its getting bad, go for a walk, dont drink too much as to let your guard down - but most of all try and enjoy your new you in this environment as its going to keep coming up its like training the more you do it the easier it gets

 

 train the mind and the body will follow if that makes sense 

[IamDoingIt]

Trish, I see that you have had a relapse. You already know smoking does nothing for you. I am recovering from a relapse and am new in this quit.

 

However, I can tell you from my past quit.....you can do everything and enjoy everything as a nonsmoker just as much as a smoker. Enjoy every minute with your family.....drink, eat and be merry. Just don't smoke. Feel sorry for your relatives. Perhaps talk to them. I bet they want to be right where you are.....a nonsmoker!!!!

[soul]

If there are moments when you feel on edge.....maybe tempted..........

 

ask for help............log in here,.............. help someone..............

 

Never underestimate the power of distraction...............use it when needed.

 

You will be just fine..................

[Nicole Diver]

All my best friends still smoke.

And they tell me that I give them hope.

No one *wants* to be a smoker. When I am the odd man out not smoking, I just remind myself that there is no choice to debate over, because I took smoking off the table as an option a long time ago.

 

Friend gave me a scarf as a belated birthday present a few weeks ago. I know we've all smelled like smoke before, but that scarf about knocked me over. I would not say a thing because I would not want to make her feel bad, but wow. It's not good. So glad we don't have to worry that we smell like that anymore

[Pippa]

Trish - you have already been given great advice- but I will just add that I know you can do this - so don't worry - enjoy being with your family. I am sure they will be proud of you - so just explain upfront that you are cherishing your quit - and maybe set rules up front like - if you ask for a cigarette they hit you over the head instead - or at the very least they send you here first so we can do it virtually for them

[Doreensfree]

My best friend still smokes........I dont envy her ,I feel sorry for her....she is so much denial.....

Look at your ticker.....be proud....you would hate to turn that back to day 1.......

You can do it......

[bakon]

this group is so smart,

 

want to smoke around sister when drinking...lick an ashtray first then come back and say it. Don't believe you otherwise

[robf]

I have friends that smoke...

 

They look so cool inhaling all that smoke and relieving their addiction.

It really makes me want to be forced to spend loads of money and have panics when I can't find a lighter...

and I long for the days spending 10 minutes with my head under my coat trying to get a cigarette lit and setting fire to my hair...

of smelling of stale smoke...

of having bad skin...

of having stained teeth...

 

oh how I wish those days would return... they were so good.

[Rain Forest]

Keep a fake plastic-straw "cig" with you... not only will it help you when you want to smoke, it will remind others that you are now a non-smoker.  Win Win, there ya go!

 

Rain 

[Trish]

Keep a fake plastic-straw "cig" with you... not only will it help you when you want to smoke, it will remind others that you are now a non-smoker.  Win Win, there ya go!

 

Rain 

I actually used that when I first started and it helped alot.  I would take a "drag" off it and it was so nice to just breath in concentrated FRESH air!