I think I'm beginning to relapse mentally...

[Rob]

Okay, so this isn't a fully blown SOS, but today I definitely have a negative shift in my thinking.

 

I know a relapse is a planned event and not an accident, but I'm worried my subconscious - part of which still might fancy smoking a little - is beginning to make itself more heard.

 

This week will be a series of stressful events... I'll be drinking alcohol for the first time since quit day, flatmates mother is visiting us for two weeks, at work we're moving office which - as IT department - will be a lot of hard work.

 

My flatmate has stopped smoking, and I'm worried that if she screws up I'll use this as an excuse for me to join her.

 

I know I don't really want to smoke. I know I already feel so much better having not smoked for 3 weeks. I know I'm saving a ton of money and that the reality is I'm more productive at work and life is so much more enjoyable.

 

I guess my point is that I'm worried now more than ever about the potential to sleep walk into disaster. Rant over!!

[Chrysalis]

Good job, Rob! I'm so proud of  you! One of the most helpful things to keep your quit is to recognize when a challenging situation is in the offing and then take steps to prepare for it. That is exactly what you are doing now and I applaud you for it. 

 

I'm sure that others will have lots of good ideas and suggestions for you-- I might think of some additional suggestions later, too. But my initial suggestions are:

1.) Write down at least 3 main reasons why you want to quit smoking. You started that here (i.e., "more productive at work" and "life is more enjoyable") but make those reasons more detailed and more concrete. How do you know that you are more productive and why does that feel good? What do you mean life is more enjoyable-- name one thing that you enjoy more now that you don't smoke. Write your detailed list on 3 or 4 pieces of paper and distribute those papers around. One in your pocket, one taped to your computer, one on  your refrigerator, etc. When you feel like you might smoke, read one of those papers out loud and reflect about the meaning. That will help a lot. Remind yourself that these are the reasons that you want to quit more than you want to smoke.

 

2) Think about each of these situations that you so wisely described and plan in advance how you will handle it. Think about stress at work with the move. What are you going to do to dissipate the stress without smoking? Go or a walk? Bring your iPod and listen to music for 5 minutes? Log onto QT and watch one of Joel Spitzer's videos? Don't kid yourself that you will not feel stressed and anxious-- you will. The trick is to imagine feeling those things and plan in advance how  you will handle it. Same if your roommate starts to smoke again. What will you do? How will you handle it? Lots of people quit smoking even though their spouse or roommate keeps smoking. You could search QT for helpful posts about that or just ask the question now-- how do you keep a quit when others around you still smoke? Then make a plan for what you will do IF your roommate starts smoking again.

 

As I said, you're doing great! You're on the right track and taking the important steps. Stay close to the board, ask for advice and suggestions as much as necessary, and take the NOPE pledge every day to reinforce your determination. Way to go, dude! Keep up the good work!  

[babs609]

At first when I read this I thought...uh oh...Rob's in trouble...but then I remembered when I quit, I felt just like that.  I was in no more in danger of smoking than you are...and I didn't.  You know why?  Cause worrying about relapsing is what will keep you off the smokes.  Don't be surprised if you start having dreams of smoking...that's normal too.   Doesn't mean you will relapse..it means you want to stay quit so bad, going back to smoking would be devastating for you.

 

You are doing great Rob...and remember...it's YOUR quit..not anyone else's.  Protect it like a newborn baby...that's your only job in staying quit.  

[Doreensfree]

Hi rob...read up again romancing the cig....

You really don't want to smoke....otherwise you would be here talking to us ....

I was told when I felt like you ,as a newbie...

It's ok to wobble....just don't fall over....

All the stuff you ate worried about....will still go ahead....whether you smoke or not...

Look....at your ticker....you nearly have a month smoke free....this is brilliant.....you hold on to this ...it's precious.....

[Rob]

Thank you all :) That helps a lot!! It's helpful just to write down the feelings rather than keep them stewing in my head :)

 

Thanks again.

[SanDar]

Oh wow Rob, you are doing so well!

Being able to recognize these crazy thinking patterns is half the battle. 

A battle you are winning :)

Keep up the good work. And remember any of the negative is all so short lived. 

The positive stuff is yours to keep :)

[JackiMac]

Rob well done for posting your subconsious thoughts, this was my downfall, I started to romance the nicotine and didnt post thinking I could deal with it, I gave my thoughts room to grow and they did, until the point that I caved in, you have recognised what the addiction is doing, you met it head on and threw it a curve ball well done, you know you are doing the right thing, so proud of you, xx

[Devil Doll]

This shows that you don't want to smoke and that you want to keep your quit. Well done on posting Rob. 

[El Bandito]

Hey Rob.

 

Great advice above. I think that every quitter romances the smoke at some point. It's tempting to think that moving office will be made easier by a smoke, but we both know that ingesting some suffocating poison will not help anything. Ever.

 

Keep on keepin' on. You are doing brilliantly.

[Runfree]

.....ingesting some suffocating poison will not help anything. Ever.

 

Brilliant reframing.  Utterly convincing.

[Tyme2B]

How are you doing Rob? Are you managing to make it through?

[Rob]

Thanks Tyme, things are okay right now. Day 1 of work-stress week completed successfully :)

 

After work yesterday, I bought a set of Molton Brown shower gels (thought I deserved a reward ;)).

 

Today (although it's still early) I feel pretty good, relaxed and zen. It's amazing how bad craves come now and again, we ignore them, then we feel relaxed for a long time. After the storm comes the calm and all that.As a smoker I don't think I could manage natural relaxation for more than an hour. And as I commute to work right now, I wonder if I've ever had such a stress-free commute as a smoker!

 

All good with you?

[El Bandito]

Good work Rob.

 

Rewards, and realistic appraisal of how you are actually feeling can only cement the truth. Everything is better AFTER you quit.

[Doreensfree]

Your doing great rob....feel very proud....

What your acheiveing is wonderful....treats are so important....good on you....

Keep marchin....

[Kristin]

Awesome. These small realizations are really important for me. You are doing a great job working through this thing.

[Still winning]

I am in awe here. I'm sorry you felt like that but recognising it and dealing with it, big up!! :)

 

When are you going out Rob??  Could you follow the advice and write something to remind you of your freedom because, this is SOOOOO worth the fight! Can I offer you my mobile number on Pm in case you get caught short and worry...you're in england right?

 

I agree with all of the above and not wanting to do a meanwhile back at me  but more in re-assurance. Week 6, I was nailing my quit, I posted all the time about everything, damn hangnail...worth a post. Over perfume spritzed, worth a post. All of it kept me in touch with my team but week 6 knocked me sideways (it could have been anytime tbh but it was then for me) and the only reason I didn't go down in flames was sos. Have you pre responded to your own sos in that section?  Have you promised yourself you will do an sos and wait for 3 responses if you're inclined to do something really dumb like stick something in your mouth and set it on fire? 

 

I want to be real for a minute. Sometimes, I used to wish smoking was the answer cause not smoking felt hard. The next day it would be like a gift of an easy day and it would re set me. This does not happen anymore Rob, I promise! I learnt that when it felt hard...THAT IS WHEN THE QUIT WAS GROWING... like got that day done, don't ever have to face that again, winning! 

 

You are doing fab Rob, it's ok to wobble but it's not ok to fall down. So take my virtual shove back up again and know we have all been here. We are all absobloodylutely routing for you!

[Rob]

Thanks Marti, appreciate the great message :)

 

I will definitely pre-respond to my SOS, that looks like a good thread.

 

I'm glad the the days where not smoking seam like hard work get easier. I'll definitely use SOS in the future of things ever get that bad, and would be happy to PM you for advice then too. I'm grateful for everyones kind words and I'm also very happy that you have all achieved such long and successful quits.

 

This is quite personal but I'll go ahead and share... When I smoked my last cigerette, I wrote down a diary entry which helps. For anyone starting a quit, it's a great idea to really analyse your last cigerette....

 

14JAN15: "Literally *just* stopped so no cravings yet... My last fag: outside, freezing cold, felt dirty, lasted longer than was enjoyable, after taste wasn't nice at all. It was a reminder of one of the many reasons I wanted to quit and a reminder that it's the chemicals I'm addicted to that make me want to smoke, not the physical enjoyment. I hope I can recall how I feel now tomorrow when I have a craving. I'm committed now, no going back. Looking forward to throwing out any remaining smoking related stuff tomorrow."

 

... this reminds me that most of the cigerettes were actually like this, not like the glorified picture addodtion begins to paint in the head!

[Chrysalis]

 

... this reminds me that most of the cigerettes were actually like this, not like the glorified picture addodtion begins to paint in the head!

 

Whew! You are my new newbie hero! You really understand the way Nicodemon's lies can screw up your quit. Hang onto that Sword of Truth and slay that monster! You're doing just great.

[Humbled]

I have been following this but did not want to comment at first - I am happy to see that you really took the time to process everything, you took a good look in the mirror and decided that the new you is better then the old you so to speak - coming here was a great decision - it shows a will to succeed - you have a good mindset and a great quit going - the dreams are normal etc.. all of your patterns will change - sleeping, eating, different cravings - mostly because your senses are coming back and you are enjoying some of the simple things more - this is a forever thing so don't rush it - just enjoy the ride, it will make it that much easier.

[Rob]

Thanks guys :)

[Pippa]

I have been following this but did not want to comment at first - I am happy to see that you really took the time to process everything, you took a good look in the mirror and decided that the new you is better then the old you so to speak - coming here was a great decision - it shows a will to succeed - you have a good mindset and a great quit going - the dreams are normal etc.. all of your patterns will change - sleeping, eating, different cravings - mostly because your senses are coming back and you are enjoying some of the simple things more - this is a forever thing so don't rush it - just enjoy the ride, it will make it that much easier.

What humbled said !! Glad you made it through Rob :-)