What do you think?

[Mike.]

I had a smoke about 30 minutes ago, in the howling wind, the swirling snow, the freezing cold and said to myself, "I am not enjoying this cigarette. Why am I doing this?"

 

The pat answers include, but are certainly not limited to, feeding the subsiding addictive withdrawal levels, a concious and sub-concious idea, that a cigarette does something for one, vague ideas about running from the reality of the truth or, of substituting an addiction upon deeper unattended issues, to not loving oneself enough to do the things needed, including self-degradation, masochistic tendencies, lack of faith, lack of willpower, lack of understanding, supeficial awareness, lack of knowledge, it goes on and on, ad nauseum. So many theories, so much conjecture, so many scientific and medical research studies and papers, on and on and on.

 

Today, there are addiction counsellors, quitting clinics and books, specializing in tobacco cessation, pharmaceutical products and herbal remedies, to promote a cure of use and, hypnosis suggestive therapy, acupuncture, electronic devices, offering everything from electric shock-aversive techniques to "safer use" devices. We have web-sites, with links, to links, to links, about the solutions to smoking addiction, support forums, offering enlightenment and direction to guide one to abstinence and supportive techniques to maintain it, live support groups, utilizing time honoured, "12 Step Program" techniques. All, with their "own" brand, of solutions.

 

Most (*most*), of that is all well and good. It all gets debated and bantered about, as reasons for and solutions to, tobacco use.

 

What of the people that stop smoking, without any ongoing or prior utilization of any of this information, intervention and support? What did they do? What made them successful, without any of the other? Is there a primary feature, that they possessed, that brought upon complete cessation of use? Is that same feature needed to quit, when one avails themselves, of the other?

 

I think so. I think they didn't want to smoke any more and simply bowed to their wishes. They obeyed an internal desire, and did so to satisfy themselves. I think, all the other, pales in comparison.

 

What do you think?

[MarylandQuitter]

My first true quit I did so with very little knowledge, certainly not with the knowledge found here.  I quit because I wanted to quit more than I wanted to smoke.  Although the quit lasted several years, it failed.  It failed because I had no knowledge base to draw from when I got the urge (whether from stress or happiness) to smoke.

 

If we want to do something bad enough we will.  Nothing can stop us.  I often like to use the analogy of holding a winning lottery ticket worth millions in your hand.  There is nothing, and I mean nothing that would stop anybody from getting that ticket to the whatever agency to claim your money.  The reason is because the money will change your life in big ways, not always for the good, but most often that is the case.

 

Think of smoking in the same way.  If you want to quit more than you want to smoke, nothing will stop you.  Your life will change forever as you'll be free from the drug addiction, will enjoy better health (look at all the runners we have here!!!!!!!), have more money, possess an inner strength that you can do anything and the list can get quite lengthy from how one's life is better after quitting smoking.

 

Now for a reality check.  Many new members have mentioned they were scared of reading about people who have relapsed after long periods without smoking.  We're talking 5 or more years.  I was quit for 6 yrs and relapsed.  Of all of the people throughout my life, including myself, who went back to smoking after being quit for several years had no support group.  No education about the addiction.  Little to no understanding about why they smoked or why they were feeling the way they were which led to the relapse.

 

With support groups such as this, the success rate is much, much higher.  Support with ongoing education and discussion can and most often times leads to a life time of being smoke-free.  I know that without QuitTrain, I don't know where I would be right now.

 

Another reality check is that some people are just going to relapse.  No way around it.  Those who want to fight for their freedom and ultimately their lives, will stick to the program, stay active here and post and reach out when in trouble.  Not only "trouble" when you're on the verge of lighting up, but day to day things that upset us.  Talking these things through from the onset will head off any danger of relapse.

 

"It's Inevitable, Some Smokers Are Going To Relapse" 

If you are a member of any quit smoking support group, whether it be online or a live program, it is likely that some members of your group are going to fail. You should not interpret this fact to mean that it is likely or inevitable that you are going to fail. Video spells out the major difference between people who relapse and those who don't.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ego_dpPmfOk

 

Now, another reality check!  :)

 

A Thirty Year Success Story

A short video discussing a clinic graduate and panelist who just celebrated his 30th year anniversary of having quit smoking. His experience relates to the video "Amount smoked" that is linked in the video description.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62wrmoJEpuE&feature=youtu.be

[Nicole Diver]

I like that first video of Joel's.  It's important to have that mindset.  He said in reference to staying quit regardless of anyone else, "Even if I take up smoking."  :crazy:  That cracked me up a bit.  Your own quit is first and foremost.  Give and receive all the support in the world, but guard that quit. 

 

There are two women at my office that have bad, and I mean bad, smoker's coughs.  I feel so bad for them but they are outside ALL the time.  So not only are they not very productive, but that constant awkward cough that cannot be missed by everyone is enough to keep me on the straight and narrow.  I wish that they would realize life does not have to be this way.  They are always talking about 'allergies and colds.'  It's so sad to see. 

[bakon]

I thought a had a cold year round. I still think my nose is a problem- wife says allegories and give me a pill which works...but as for looking for a higher energy....you make it yourself, name it what you want, use it as intense as needed...

sgt had easy greasy.

some had nope

 

call it anything but don't make excuses on why you don't have it....its internal, everyone has it, just got to turn it on.

 

I turned it on one time for two years just because someone said I couldn't. I set it to intense and "showed them". This time I learned it was over, the time had come and I needed to make this turn on and change my mind to the whole idea.  So I reformed, rethought, reexamined, relearned  and then relaxed. Let it happen.

[Mike.]

Since we are now talking in part, of our "own" experiences, I will try to frame this from mine. I have now smoked for a total of 46 years. That's not talking about the time that I didn't smoke. I was 13 years old, when I first became addicted to cigarettes. I am now 61 and have smoking related illnesses. I have struggled with "trying" to quit, since I was 14. I even did quit for a while then, but went back smoking, obviously. I was in the hospital during that year, with pneumonia, getting needles of penicillin, every four hours. My rear, hurt more than my lungs did. We were allowed to smoke in hospitals back then, and a friend was keeping me supplied with cigarettes, and I puffed through my treatment. Thinking back, I don't remember anyone telling me, the docs/nurses/my parents that, maybe I shouldn't be smoking then, which was at that time of my life, my third medical treatment regime in a hospital for pneumonia. Well, it was the 1960's and it seemed most people around me smoked. I saw the nurses smoking at their desks, my doctor smoked, my parents smoked, all my grandparents smoked, except the one grandmother who was adamantly opposed to it. She had offered me 1000.00 dollars when I was child in the 1950's if I didn't smoke until I was 21 years of age. That was a lot of money, to offer one in those days. We always thought then, that she was a little unbalanced but, her money was as good as anyone and I wanted it. One day, I was laying in bed, having a cigarette, in my hospital room, when she walked in. Instead of being mad, she just reminded me of her promise to give me 1000.00 on my 21st birthday, if I didn't smoke and told me if I quit until then, I could still have the money. She took my cigarettes, after my promising I wouldn't smoke any more. Well, I never got the money, obviously. But, that did set up a pattern that would stay with me the rest of my life. I tried to quit, many many times, to only wind up a failure now, with 46 years of smoking behind me.

 

I tried more ways to quit than most, through all those years. I could go on and on, about what treatments, education, support groups, prayer, blah, blah blah, that I have tried but, in reality, they all failed. So, what was missing? That was the point of this thread, to help me see what was different for me, than the other people that had quit smoking and seemingly, "never looked back".

 

When I finished writing what I did last night, I saw the key element that I had to focus on. That is, that I have to do this myself and only then, can I rely on the tertiary information and support, to augment my continued cessation. In reality, I had been relying on the method of quitting, rather than the key ingredient, of doing it myself.

 

Only I alone, can do this.

 

Okay.

[Doreensfree]

Hi mike...it's the old girl here...

I could have wrote a lot of your post myself....

In my 62 years of smoking...I had tried to quit...to many to count....

A big health issue arose....I had to make a choice....stop or face the life altering consequences...

There were no more ptactice quits....

I found these folks...who told me ....never stick anything in my mouth and set fire to it....no matter what happens...

Also take it steady....don't over think....one minute at a time....if need be....

My body went in to shock....I was all over the place....

But I held on...and braved it out....

Your right ....only you can do this....

the support kept me going....

There is no other way....it's got to be nope.....and mean it.....

If I did it....you can too....you really can....

[JackiMac]

Mike, the addiction  is very powerful, but to have a successful quit you must really want to stop, not stop for a little while, not stop for a few weeks, not stop its okay Ill smoke again when I want, but STOP FOREVER and not be afraid of stopping either.  I think most of us who have unsuccessful quits, only 99% want to quit and 1% keep on smoking, you have to have 100% committed to this and realise that there is no quick fix either, that was my biggest downfall, why am I still struggling, why am I still craving the nicotine, why ...the answer is because I am allowing myself to struggle and allowing myself to crave, its mind over matter most of the time, learning to control your crave and be stronger than the addiction.  When you fall, learn to pick yourself up and give yourself the 100% you deserve, your life is worth more.

[Chrysalis]

...When I finished writing what I did last night, I saw the key element that I had to focus on. That is, that I have to do this myself and only then, can I rely on the tertiary information and support, to augment my continued cessation. In reality, I had been relying on the method of quitting, rather than the key ingredient, of doing it myself.

 

Only I alone, can do this.

 

Okay.

 

That's brilliant, Mike! You are absolutely right! The decision and determination to quit smoking MUST come from inside yourself. No "rules" or "methods" or desire to "please others" will make you quit smoking. I'm so happy that you finally understand this concept. 

 

However, I disagree with your next line: "Only I alone, can do this." No, that's not true. We and the resources at QT can help you.

 

It's like being a mountain climber. Nobody can drag you up a mountain if you are just laying there as a dead weight. You have to WANT to climb the mountain. You have to work at it and have the determination and the will and the strength to climb the mountain. But to succeed you need to be part of a team. Sometimes other people pound in the pitons for you; sometimes they grab your rope to keep you from falling. And sometimes you pound in the pitons and grab the ropes for the others. Each one has to do their own work, but each one also helps the others. That's is how we quit smoking here.

 

So now that you have discovered the missing ingredient (you!) start to use the resources here to help you succeed. Read "The Newbie Database", read the posts, watch Joel Spitzer's videos, and post helpful messages for other quitters (i.e., pound in some pitons for others). Stick with the board and decide that protecting your quit is your #1 priority in life for the time being and you will succeed. 

[El Bandito]

Mike. You are clearly a thinker.

 

I do not believe that one way of quitting is better than than the others. As you point out, a quit is intensely personal. It is however, entirely doable. Sometimes however, brute force and ignorance is all that is left. At times, it was this that got me through the day.

[Mike.]

Thank you, for the replies folks. I only glanced at them just now, and will read them thoroughly later.

 

Right now, I have to clear the piles of snow, on our side walks and dig out a couple of stranded cars, so we can get mobile again.

 

Talk with you later ...

[Mike.]

snip

 

However, I disagree with your next line: "Only I alone, can do this." No, that's not true. We and the resources at QT can help you.

 

So now that you have discovered the missing ingredient (you!) start to use the resources here to help you succeed. Read "The Newbie Database", read the posts, watch Joel Spitzer's videos, and post helpful messages for other quitters (i.e., pound in some pitons for others). Stick with the board and decide that protecting your quit is your #1 priority in life for the time being and you will succeed. 

 

I dunno Chrysalis. I have studied online resources, more than most. I have bought and digested quit smoking books. I have been very active in quit smoking forums, this being my fourth. I have sought out treatments and have participated in 5 quit smoking clinics. I have prayed for help, lots. There are people here, that can attest to the veracity of my claims of knowledge about nicotine addiction and cessation. They have witnessed my involvement, in these forums.

 

Does the help that is available actually, help? Yes, in my estimation. Proof of my belief in that, is that I am here. If I didn't think it helped, I wouldn't be.

 

My conclusion with this thread though, is that the impetus and drive for successful nicotine cessation, needs to come from within.  Nothing more than that.

[Mike.]

I do not believe that one way of quitting is better than than the others. As you point out, a quit is intensely personal. It is however, entirely doable. Sometimes however, brute force and ignorance is all that is left. At times, it was this that got me through the day.

 

You made me laugh. Not at the message, which I think is accurate but, your choice of words.

[Tyme2B]

Mike! You can do this! Maybe you need to use some NRT....not really recommended on this site...but it DOES help. Without it I don't think I would be able to make it despite the assurances I really could. Smoking is a habit....a habit that has in my mind... helped me through stress my entire life. That habit does not go away in 2 weeks . This is the beginning of a NEW lifetime, and this time I will learn new ways to cope with stress. Eventuay I will be able to stop the nicotine gum i just need to learn healthy ways to cope....and I will! We ALL can learn change. I am sure of it.

[Mike.]

Mike! You can do this! Maybe you need to use some NRT....not really recommended on this site...but it DOES help. Without it I don't think I would be able to make it despite the assurances I really could. Smoking is a habit....a habit that has in my mind... helped me through stress my entire life. That habit does not go away in 2 weeks . This is the beginning of a NEW lifetime, and this time I will learn new ways to cope with stress. Eventuay I will be able to stop the nicotine gum i just need to learn healthy ways to cope....and I will! We ALL can learn change. I am sure of it.

 

Hi T.

 

Thanks, for thinking about me, and the suggestion.

 

I'm a kinda all or nothing type. (in for a dime, in for a dollar).

 

How are you, today?