Was Smoking Masking Over Depression For Me?

[sharonsiff]

Really?

 

I must be a lucky Bandit - I don't get those feelings. 

 

I guess that it is very individual - and that the key is when something changes. If you are normally very positive and bouncy - and then find yourself exhausted for no obvious reason - not once - but frequently, then I guess you might want to investigate whether something has caused that to happen. Whether its a disease or not - I could not comment (too thick) but definitely worth looking into I'd say.

 

As I say - I'm really lucky - and just bounce along.

 

Essentially, I think that I may have been a Cocker Spaniel in a previous life! :D

I am normally one in this life too EB....a nutty one ;)

 

 

In answer to you Sarge yes, mental illness is a disease. Have I got the disease, my doctor will be the one to decide.

 

It will be interesting as, as EB said, when folk (me in this case) are full of energy and feeling upbeat and have been for 44 years, you have a good baseline, when things change inside you it alerts you, so you can take action.

 

My change inself has nothing to do with the stresses and strains of being human, have had 44 years of practise of dealing with tragedy and joy....all part of life. The point is something is very off key in my usual human self, so, operation let's get to the bottom of it.

 

Of course it might just be that my body chemistry has changed, with age maybe? If it is then fine, not a lot I can do but if it's not, and there is more to it then I will accept the doctors help in getting me back to my full time old cocker spaniel self.

[El Bandito]

Hmm...

 

After reading all of this, I am more convinced it is a One Direction issue...

[Still winning]

Aw Sharon, I didn't mean that my lovely. I had PTSD after nearly kicking the bucket in childbirth and depression before that. I needed help and the medical people were so amazing for that as was the councelling I did.  What I meant was once that was done and dusted I really embraced some natural ways of getting high and I wish I had of known before. Meditation is pretty powerful as are scents. I say this not as a meanwhile back at me, but a get whatever help you need to make yourself feel how you deserve. xx

 

The rest is probably me being a little eclectic and crazy so I'll keep that lol. 

[sharonsiff]

Aw Sharon, I didn't mean that my lovely. I had PTSD after nearly kicking the bucket in childbirth and depression before that. I needed help and the medical people were so amazing for that as was the councelling I did.  What I meant was once that was done and dusted I really embraced some natural ways of getting high and I wish I had of known before. Meditation is pretty powerful as are scents. I say this not as a meanwhile back at me, but a get whatever help you need to make yourself feel how you deserve. xx

 

The rest is probably me being a little eclectic and crazy so I'll keep that lol.

 

I see, gottcha

 

I don't feel I need to get high though, or counselling just somethings not right....can feel it in my water..lol (never off the loo)

 

I feel relaxed you see, already, and sleep like a baby. I can tell somethings a miss.....

 

I'll get this sorted, operation sort this out ;)

[Still winning]

Good work, as long as it gets sorted then we're good. But I was serious about the venting, I'm here if it's any use to you. x

[sharonsiff]

Just got back from the doctors and feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders :)

 

He suspects that the other crap/chemicals were acting as a mood stabiliser and the removal has distored my brain chemistry....so...based on that I am giving blood samples on Monday and from that, if he is correct, he will put me on a very low dose of mood stabilisers for 6 months to 12 months.

 

If the bloods come back and his diagnosis is wrong we will chat again.

 

I feel better now, less alone, that I'm not imagining it....because I know me and I knew something was off.

 

He congratulated me again in my successful quit and said he was very proud of me, as am I....I did good ;)

[Evelyn]

It is correct that smoking controls the chemistry in balance. Going off them can get some people out of balance ;)

[sharonsiff]

It is correct that smoking controls the chemistry in balance. Going off them can get some people out of balance ;)

It's sickening to think what they put in cigarettes isn't it!!!

 

Grrrrr....who knows if I hadn't smoked this could have been my normal brain chemistry anyway...and if so no probs, it is what it is.

 

But......if my brain chemistry has become like this, due to me smoking then grrrrr at myself for buying into the lie and a huge grrrrr at the tobacco companies for putting shite in that screws us brain chemistry, of some.

 

Grrrrrrrrr.

 

Back to painting, to calm me down.