Oneistoo's Quit Journal

[Still winning]

Hope you are both feeling brighter today. Some days are just rubbish, but they are the ones that mean we should hold on, having gone through that day with those feelings, you are one step closer to vague memories of smoking and as a bonus, you never need to do day 14 again! It's over, phew :) x

[laura]

Thanks marti I hope so yesterday was crap xx

[Still winning]

Sounded crap to be honest. But they are the days where we get to make a yes or no choice and every time we choose no we re inforce the I am a non smoker message. So it has a positive purpose in a way. Try not to dwell on it and accept that it's happened and done my lovely. No one wants a slow dance romance session with those thoughts.  x

[Oneistoo]

Hope you are both feeling brighter today. Some days are just rubbish, but they are the ones that mean we should hold on, having gone through that day with those feelings, you are one step closer to vague memories of smoking and as a bonus, you never need to do day 14 again! It's over, phew :) x

 

You are both so sweet for caring. Yes, yesterday was crap, and I'm glad I'll never have to do a day 14 again. I also managed to eat two tubs of ice cream. And go to the gym twice. 

 

I think Laura also said it, that without all you guys on QT I would not have been able to keep this quit. 

 

Thoughts about running down to the convenience store and buying a pack, smoking it all and then quitting again, still try to seduce me. Rob put this paradox so well, "I'm one bad decision away from ending this discomfort." 

 

However, it also brings opportunities and Joel talks about them in one of his videos. Basically, the act of having to reject the temptations to smoke, if done in a way where you consider not just the cigarette but also everything that goes with the cigarette, reinforces your quit in a very strong way which will help you long-term. 

 

I guess I have plenty of opportunity to do just that! 

 

I'm just immensely grateful that I found QT. I have no doubt that I was led to it. 

[Oneistoo]

I think I'm forgetting a technique that makes it much easier to stay quit! It's to take my focus away on the relative enormity of never smoking again for the rest of my life, and instead just focusing on this day, this hour, this minute. Psychologically, that makes it so much more manageable, and it isn't as threatening to my addiction. :)

[Still winning]

I think I'm forgetting a technique that makes it much easier to stay quit! It's to take my focus away on the relative enormity of never smoking again for the rest of my life, and instead just focusing on this day, this hour, this minute. Psychologically, that makes it so much more manageable, and it isn't as threatening to my addiction. :)

Not One Puff Ever (just for today). Powerful to only do today anyway. Tomorrow isn't promised and yesterday is done. x

[Oneistoo]

Not One Puff Ever (just for today). Powerful to only do today anyway. Tomorrow isn't promised and yesterday is done. x

 

Well,that's a bit more advanced than the level I'm at right now, Marti.  In a battle between a pledge and my addiction, my addiction would win. The "this day, this hour, this minute" for me right now is more about enduring the discomfort. At the moment my daily pledging is purely aspirational. :)

[Oneistoo]

Not all of this applies to me, but I think I need to work on this aspect in general: http://www.vishnusvirtues.com/boost-your-confidence/

[laura]

From Monday I will be working on meditation and mindfulness I believe this could also help anyone under any sort of stress :-)

[Oneistoo]

I'm doing better today, but I also feel a bit mental. 

 

My brain feels foggy, and I'm having a difficult time comprehending stuff I read and also difficulty formulating sentences when I write. Is it normal to feel more or less retarded after you've been quit for several weeks? How long does this phase last?

 

My quit-related weight gain is beginning to annoy me. It makes it harder to exercise, which, in turn, makes it harder to get rid of the weight. But I still feel like stuffing my face. 

 

Last night, I had a glimmer of premonition of a future as a non-smoker....it came out of the blue, lasted just a fraction of a second, and it was a sensation more than a visual....but it was really great. I think the temptation is to focus too much on the current quit discomfort and not project out or visualize the glory of living without needing nicotine. I think I need to focus more on the result, and see it as a given that I will reach it. 

[Oneistoo]

Smoking is the biggest lie ever. You get absolutely nothing from it but a craving for the next one.

 

This one is good to keep in mind today (and all other days). If I analyze what happens if I go buy a pack of cigarettes, I can now clearly see that the chain-smoking of at least one pack of cigarettes that would follow is me first filling up a psychological depletion of "smoking." Then, as soon as I begin to physically withdraw from the nicotine, I fill it up again and the abiity to do this gives me a great feeling of accomplishment and mastery: I have a need, and swiftly and successfully I meet that need. There aren't many needs in life that are so quickly met! Doing it gives me psychological pleasure as well as physical pleasure. When the feeling begins to subside, I can jolt it back up by smoking another cigarette. 

 

Now that I'm no longer incessantly eating, which both distracted me and kind of acted as a substitute for smoking, I can see how I'm no longer getting a personal feeling of accomplishment from smoking. A part of my daily, repeated "mastery" over my life is gone. I can see how people can become depressed at this stage and want to smoke. The only way to counter that, as I can see it, would be to increase the opportunities for feeling mastery in one's life by focusing on small tasks that need to be done and then doing them. 

 

I think that's the next stage in my quit.

[Tink]

Sounds like you are finding your stride oneistoo, focusing on small tasks is a great way forward, sometimes the quit can consume us and its hard to concentrate on other things, but I found distractions to be of great help and sense of achievements a good confidence booster which in turn helps the quit.

 

Great to see you finding your way through the fog and following your journey a good inspiration to others!

 

Have a good day x

[Oneistoo]

Great to see you finding your way through the fog and following your journey a good inspiration to others!

 

Thank you, Tracey. I wish we had a Journals and Diaries section on QT. I would love to read the journeys of other people, it would help me in my own quit. Plus, I know from http://wqd.netwarriors.org/ that a section like that is a magnet for newbies.

[El Bandito]

Lots of people use the Blog section for this I think.

[Oneistoo]

Lots of people use the Blog section for this I think.

 

It seems that it is not used much (unless I'm totally wrong somehow). There's a blog section on the other site as well, and it's just as unused. The format is too blog-oriented and not really geared toward being a "home" kind of place. The diary section was what made the WQD take off (I've been a moderator there since it started ten years ago), and from just a handful of site users it now has almost 27,000 members. 

 

Anyway....

[Oneistoo]

Ok, so on the project side of things, to feel accomplished I'm now painting my bedroom and my kitchen floor. :) Painting is not one of those things that I love most in life, but it does look great when you're done.

[Devil Doll]

Ok, so on the project side of things, to feel accomplished I'm now painting my bedroom and my kitchen floor. :) Painting is not one of those things that I love most in life, but it does look great when you're done.

I love painting but I despise preparation and clean up, lol. 

You are doing a wonderful job! 

[Oneistoo]

Thanks, DD. :)

 

I want to put this from Sharonsiff here:

 

Your thoughts came from your limbic ( your emotional Center/ the I need area) so by not making the purchase you have put a nugget in the logic and truth bank of your mind and then next time your limbic kicks off, temptation, you can then hand over the though to your truth, logic and reason side of thinking. It works... I do it all the time when my emotional thinking is loud in my day to day trails and tribulations.

It will be normal to have temptation anyway JC, and at times the temptation outbursts will feel very strong and can make you feel you are not going to manage them well. I think NEAT when this happens in my day to day life
You can't control your thoughts but we can learn to manage then.
N= Normal
E= Expected
A= Accepted (very important!)
T= Taken Care Of... Which you did by deciding not to make a purchase.

[Still winning]

I recorded my journey from start to now ish in the blog section if it helps to know?

 

You are doing so fab. x

[Oneistoo]

I recorded my journey from start to now ish in the blog section if it helps to know?

 

Thanks, Marti. I just went to it to start reading it. But the goddamn blog format does not lend itself to reading someone's quit like a diary or journal. For starters, it's heavily subject-skewed, and people can't just pop in and write you a message that's more open than a pm. And second, it's in reverse order - it starts with the LAST entry you made. I had to spend a lot of time figuring out how the hell to get to your FIRST entry. The fun of reading other people's diaries is that you get to start with their very first tentative entry, and you watch the person grow through their quit. When people relapse and disappear, you can bump up their diary and keep them "there" until they (very often) return and resume writing in it. There's much more reading and interaction in each other's diaries, and the diaries become the reason for checking in every day. It's just a totally different dynamic. 

 

I look forward to reading about your journey, Marti. Tomorrow, when I'm not so irritable, lol. ;)

[Nicole Diver]

I think here is nice too to see your journey.  :)

[El Bandito]

Hey Grumpy!

 

How is it going today?

[Oneistoo]

Hey Grumpy!

 

How is it going today?

 

Kind of you to ask! I've been having such issues with my eyes ever since I scraped the ceiling in the room I'm now painting. The second opthamologist I consulted the other day (the first one gave me something useless for it) gave me steroid eyedrops and they are awful! Meaning, they give me a splitting headache and nausea from the moment I wake up. I have to take them for three weeks. I hope the side effects will lessen soon. I really want to get rid of this feeling that I have gravel in my eyes. 

 

So I'm kind of lying low.....and I'm still in a bit of a bad mood.....blame it on the meds, usually I'm the most delightful person on earth. ;)

[El Bandito]

No wonder you are grumpy! Sounds horrible. Gravel in the eyes...yikes.

 

Hope the side effects disappear pronto!

[Still winning]

Yeah I get what you're saying with the blogs. It's not as easy to read as this but it has a value to keep I think :)

 

Yikes, sound effects sound nasty, are the drops working better now as if they do that and don't help I'd be inclined to go back and whinge for new meds?