What it feels like now

[beacon]

15 months in after 35 years of a pack a day. I really have no more craves. I do not want to smoke. Ever. Even in the car, even when I am drinking. Never. Not even a thought.

 

I was reading at the other place about someone who relapsed after a long term quit. He mentioned that his first cig was everything he desired but the ones after the first made him ill. I thought about that first cig and my mind rebelled. It was not that I thought about it and then had a small desire and then dismissed the thought with a NOPE. Instead I thought how dumb and disgusting it would be for me to start again and that I didn't even want to anyway.

 

This change happened about two months ago. Amazing.

 

How do you feel now at your stage?

[Colleen]

I think sometimes about the act of smoking, but I don't actually want to smoke and it's not very often at all.  It's a million times better than going through withdrawal every 20 minutes.  It's almost as if it's a dormant association.  I cannot even picture myself smoking.  

[Devil Doll]

I still have the occasional thought but it is dismissed with a NOPE. I can't stand the smell of it and I need to practice the art of keeping my mouth shut. I tend to be vocal when I shouldn't be and I am going to get punched one day.

 

I do the same thing, though. Think about how gross it is and all that I went through to get where I am. How dumb would I be to toss it all for a disgusting cigarette.

[comrade simba]

At 11 months it's occasional thoughts more than craves. I've just gotten good at walking around the pothole reflexively rather than stopping to peer in to see what may be there. Curiosity is dangerous.

 

Smoking - don't go there, y'know?

[DCCXXVII]

I still think about it every now and then... I do try to divert my attention to something else asap... I don't want to feed the thoughts

[Runfree]

As a newbie, your replies are really encouraging to hear.  Thanks.

[El Bandito]

Hmmm. Good post Beacon.

 

Like DD, I find the smell shocking now. In a store the other day I found myself walking behind someone whom had clearly just had a cigarette...I had to stop walking and let the stink move away.

 

Now and again a tableau will pop into my head where I am smoking, but it just looks wrong and I dismiss it.

 

Not smoking now seems natural.

[Doreensfree]

After puffing my way through 52 years of life....I didn't think I would ever have a life without them...

So where am I.....of course I still think of them....it's just a thought ....it's not a gut wrenching longing...

I feel if I stuck a smoke in my mouth now...and lit it.....I would throw up.....

But...I'm always on my guard.....and still live by nope.....

[SanDar]

At a little over 5 months smoke-free, I still have the rare "I should smoke" thought. Rubbish!  I quickly realize that no, I don't smoke. And how stupid it would be to even entertain that thought.

I don't crave a cigarette. That ship sailed 5 months ago. Just an occasional thought. But as soon as that thought pops

into my mind - out it goes, with a swift kick.

I'm so glad I don't smoke :)

[sharonsiff]

I don't have any thoughts or triggers at all now, which I would 'wrongly' never believed. I honestly thought I would would spend the rest of my adult life mixing up cravings with triggers and fighting both. Time and patience paid off I'm pleased to say.

 

I will admit though there have been times it had crossed my mind to have a no nicotine vape. So I assumed it was the sectioning the day and the action I missed. Anyway I sorted that out, by accident, and learned my body enjoys holding in my breath for at least 10 seconds then ever so slowly, but deeply, releasing the breath. I honestly can feel some sort of rush and joy when I do this. So I've learned to still section up my day, but not 30 times like when I smoked! And if I fancy it treat myself to a face goes pink in breath then release.

 

But crave cigs? Not a chance anymore... The smell alone turns my stomach, just yuck!

[beacon]

At 11 months it's occasional thoughts more than craves. I've just gotten good at walking around the pothole reflexively rather than stopping to peer in to see what may be there. Curiosity is dangerous.

 

Smoking - don't go there, y'know?

I like this , how you describe the feeling

[ChRiSpY]

Beacon...I am with you on this one.  I have not spoke of it much on this bored because I did not want to sound like I was bragging...or over confident.  I have absolutely NO DESIRE to smoke a ciggarrette.  Non... notta... zip... ziltch.  It sounds so unappealing to me.  My throat...my lungs.. the stink... I have had some stressful "Life" stuff that has got me down and stressed me out.. but smoking does not even come into my mind anymore.  I want nothing to do with it... NOTHING!!!

 

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I will not smoke another ciggie for the rest of my life.... this is not a saying that I tell myself, like NOPE.  It is real.... it is awesome.

 

Keep on keepin on... I will.

[Chrysalis]

At 11 months it's occasional thoughts more than craves. I've just gotten good at walking around the pothole reflexively rather than stopping to peer in to see what may be there. Curiosity is dangerous.

 

Smoking - don't go there, y'know?

Very well put, CS. I don't hate the sight or smell of cigarettes. I hope I never do. But I would like to get to the point where I can't even imagine myself smoking. I'm not quite there yet. In the meanwhile, however, I like Comrade Simba's philosophy of don't stop to peer into that hole. Just keep walking. :)    

[MarylandQuitter]

I know that I once smoked but have not had any cravings after the first week or so that I quit.  In certain situations I will remember that in the past, I would have been smoking but it's when things are calm and I'm relaxed.  Like looking out the window while the sun is coming up and just the way the sun is shining on a tree I'm looking at will remind me of another time in another place and I'll remember that I would have been smoking.

 

When I have been the most stressed since I quit and trust me, full blown life-changing stress, smoking did not even cross my mind.  When I smoked and was under any kind of stress (other than constantly going in and out of withdrawal) I would instantly reach for a smoke.  Now when I'm under stress, I don't even think of smoking much less crave it or consider it.

 

I guess to sum it all up I'll never forget that I smoked but picturing myself smoking must be like what I imagine waking up from a coma must feel like and starting to remember things.  Lighting up is that far removed from my life.  Knowing that I'm an ex-smoker will be something I carry with me everyday for the moment I forget could be the moment that one of the dreams about smoking perhaps wouldn't actually be a dream and instead be a grave mistake.

 

With time, your mind with abandon the cravings and desire to smoke.  As with most things in life, time heals.  :)