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Posted

We all have a moment or two (sometimes more) after quitting and see our former self in a smoker.  We see a smoker doing something unbelievably ridiculous.  Something that we as smokers, did or easily could have done.  As a smoker, it would have have been impossible to realize or if we did realize, we just didn't care...the addiction was that powerful.  I have lots of habits I buried with my smoker self.  Was reminded of one today.

 

I took my grandmother out today, she needed some shopping done and had a quick check up at her oncologist's office.  She is 89 and hard of hearing, with moderate COPD  so she needs a little help.  She had a basal cell carcinoma on her scalp removed and another was found and that was removed as well recently.  She is in the clear, next check up not till the spring.  Please wear sunscreen people, anything that is exposed to the sun needs protection.  

 

Anyway, clearly I've run away from my point.  We parked and turned around to the entrance of the oncology clinic.  A woman leaving the clinic opened the door and lit up a cigarette.  Never mind that you are on hospital grounds and no smoking is allowed.  An oncology clinic, HELLO what are you thinking?  Have you lost your ever loving mind?  These thoughts and more raced through my head.  As we approach the door, she hold the door open for us, blowing smoke right at us.  I tried to be discreet in covering my nose and mouth.  I have mild COPD that has been behaving very well since I quit smoking and refuse to breathe in smoke.  Meanwhile, my grandmother has that constant cough and inside my head I am starting to fume that the woman holding the door blowing smoke in our faces just doesn't get it.  Then again, she is an addict and won't understand until she is removed from the source.

 

Thing is, as a smoker none of that would seem strange to me.  I did a lot to get my fix as a smoker, hiding behind bushes to smoke when I shouldn't have.  

 

It made me think, what were your irrational behaviors as a smoker?

  • Like 6
Posted

It makes me cringe to think about how selfish I was as a smoker.  Nothing came between me and my fix.   Pathetic.  I'm so happy to not be that person anymore.

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Posted

Flying from London to Dallas.

 

Changing in Minneapolis.

 

Off the plane, go to security, check that they will let me back in, out of the airport, chain smoke, back through security, run to the gate so as not miss the flight....

 

Completely rational right?

  • Like 6
Posted

When my children were born....

You were allowed to smoke on the maternity ward....

How irresponsible to smoke around those new babies with little lungs taking in thier first breaths of fresh air....

This....makes me hang my head in shame....

  • Like 3
Posted

When my children were born....

You were allowed to smoke on the maternity ward....

How irresponsible to smoke around those new babies with little lungs taking in thier first breaths of fresh air....

This....makes me hang my head in shame....

Mammy...you didn't know.

 

For years much money was spent to suppress news that smoking killed.

  • Like 6
Posted

Had a flight home from Florida after a cruise to the Bahamas. Got to the airport early because our chauffeur dropped us off several hours before our plane left. We had dinner, smoked and walked around the airport and smoked some more. Finally started to head through security and got through it really quick so I decided to go back out and smoke again before we boarded which meant I had to ride a tram back to the main area of the airport and smoke then go through security and ride the tram back to the waiting area. That was a lot just so I could smoke. 

  • Like 6
Posted

I once spend 5 days begging other visitors of a christian conference center for cigarettes. My intention was to quit but I felt horrible due withdrawals and there was no way of buying a pack on the park itsself

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Posted

I used to smoke one handed whilst feeding my babies.

 

I used to smoke in the car (windown open, so that's ok right) when my kids were trapped in there too.

 

I used to smoke in my kitchen, where I fed my children.

 

So much, so many feelings of how awful I was. That's quite apart from outside where all fresh air was non contaminated so non smokers were just whinging about the smell right.

 

The absolute shame I feel now!!!

 

My whole house smells of smoke again with my Mum who's decided she's moving out so no longer really cares whether the rest of us have to breath it in. Because she wants to smoke and we're all just being a-holes by not letting her smoke in the house when she's disabled and it's so cold out?!  COPD, caused by smoking, it's pretty dumb and totally self obsessed for the 4 other people who live here and chose not to smoke, 2 are children. 

 

Thing is we all remember that "need" to smoke. It takes rational thought and leaves it elsewhere while our inner junkie takes over.

  • Like 7
Posted

On a trip to the Magic Kingdom, they have designated smoking areas, they are few and far between. I hid behind garbage cans to smoke, yep, proud. When we took the kids to MGM my cousin took all of the kids into the Cars stunt show by herself while I waited outside to sit on the bench and smoke. I took my kids on a wonderful vacation and ducked out as often as possible to feed the junkie. Awful. 

  • Like 4
Posted

On a trip to the Magic Kingdom, they have designated smoking areas, they are few and far between. I hid behind garbage cans to smoke, yep, proud. When we took the kids to MGM my cousin took all of the kids into the Cars stunt show by herself while I waited outside to sit on the bench and smoke. I took my kids on a wonderful vacation and ducked out as often as possible to feed the junkie. Awful.

 

I did a similar thing DD. Lee got through, unknown to me at the time, on DS American Idol auditions so I was stuck on a bench nearby, not able to go for a smoke, waiting till he finally turned so I could go for a cig. I waited 45 and was livid! Now I look back and am ashamed, deeply ashamed. He walked out of AI so excited, and totally shocked, to have got through and all I did was go nuts because I was sat there waiting 45mins so I could go for a smoke. Totally ashamed of my old self.

 

I too sat out a few shows just so I could go and chain smoke...you know, pack em in, while I had a 30 minute window. How utterly ridiculous!

 

At least on my revist I will not have that silly behaviour again...

  • Like 2
Posted

I remember going to a small closed in area for smokers in Dubai airport...o.m.g....

It was like thick fog...my eyes were streaming...I couldn't breath....but I stayed in there ..just to get my fix....

I felt like I needed oxygen...when I came out....more like fell out.....the mind boggles....

Posted

I remember going to a small closed in area for smokers in Dubai airport...o.m.g....

It was like thick fog...my eyes were streaming...I couldn't breath....but I stayed in there ..just to get my fix....

I felt like I needed oxygen...when I came out....more like fell out.....the mind boggles....

Oh my god I've been to that airport too and it was the worst airport smoking lounge I've ever been to. Did they even have a ventilation system? But like you said, I sat in the middle of a crowded room filled with filthy smoke just to get my fix. Lord knows how badly I smelled when I left. Yuck.

  • Like 1
Posted

Oh my god I've been to that airport too and it was the worst airport smoking lounge I've ever been to. Did they even have a ventilation system? But like you said, I sat in the middle of a crowded room filled with filthy smoke just to get my fix. Lord knows how badly I smelled when I left. Yuck.

I agree...J ..can you imagine what we smelt like when we came out....

It's been a few years now since then....and it's still as vivid in my mind today....gross....

Posted

I remember being so sick I could barely walk...but still managed to get outside in the freezing weather to sit outside and smoke...could barely make it back to bed.  Did I really think that was fun, or helpful, or made me feel better?  Sadly, yes.

  • Like 1
Posted

One time I had bronchitis so bad that my upstairs neighbor complained about the noise of my coughing. I still smoked. I knew it was wrong and stupid but I felt sorry for myself and couldn't deal with the withdrawal cravings on top of my illness. (Then, of course, once the bronchitis finally cleared up it wasn't NECESSARY for me to stop smoking so I didn't. You know the drill. :( )

Posted

I spent thousands of dollars to attend week long holistic yoga retreats three years in a row.  After class, I'd walk off the property and hide behind palm trees or banana leaf plants and chain smoke.  Then I'd go back and eat a vegan meal.... :huh:

 

I lived and worked in Antarctica where average winter temps were -90 Deg F.  I smoked outside all the time.  All the smokers did.

  • Like 2
Posted

I spent thousands of dollars to attend week long holistic yoga retreats three years in a row.  After class, I'd walk off the property and hide behind palm trees or banana leaf plants and chain smoke.  Then I'd go back and eat a vegan meal.... :huh:

 

I lived and worked in Antarctica where average winter temps were -90 Deg F.  I smoked outside all the time.  All the smokers did.

Wow....that's brass monkeys....brrrr
Posted

I haven't really done anything "irrational" as a smoker, but who knows?... you be the judge.

 

Of course, I used to smoke in -30 degree weather. I had to. I also used to car smoke in my old 2003 Echo (with all the windows down), although I never did it with anyone else in the car. I also used to have this habit where I would smoke a cigarette every time I would either get out or get into my car. I have a new car, so I don't smoke in it now.

Posted

I've done just about everything mentioned above. One thing in particular that I remember was after giving birth to my youngest daughter.

They allowed smoking in the "smoking lounge" back then. But I was told not to get out of bed yet. Did I listen? Oh hell no!

I got up, walked down to  the smoking lounge, smoked a cigarette and on the way back to my room almost fainted. A nurse had to catch me from falling.

Determined smoker? Nope - a nicotine addict. 

  • Like 1
Posted

One holiday in turkey,I had to stay in hospital for 4 days....

As soon as I could get out of bed....I opened the window in my room and smoked...

The Turkish nurse came in.....I couldn't speak the language,but I didn't have too...she was angry....

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Posted

Smoking in the car with my kids in the backseat thinking that they couldn't smell it or inhale any of it because I had the window open at just the right amount knowing that all the smoke was escaping.  Stupid.  Stupid.  Stupid.

  • Like 1
Posted

Everytime I got teeth pulled the dentist told me not to smoke or I would get Dry Socket.

 

Everytime I smoked on my way home from said dentist.

 

Everytime I ended up with dry socket... it hurt.

  • Like 1

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