Coping with "The End of the Beginning"

[Chrysalis]

There is a lot of help and advice floating around intended to help people through the beginning of  a quit. And, indeed, the first month or so is the hardest time. Not only do we have to suffer through the physical nicotine withdrawal, but we have to learn about how a nicotine addiction affects us and how to deal with the emotional and psychological aspects of quitting, too. So the intense help and support are necessary.

 

But I have also seen quite a few people start to have trouble AFTER the beginning stage. They start to have a lot of trouble in month 2 or 3 or 4. These people are no longer "newbies" but they're not Phartes yet, either.

What I have noticed is that a lot of the time people at this stage of quitting-- what I call "the end of the beginning"-- start obsessing about cigarettes. That's what happened to me at about that time-- I started to think about smoking a cigarette all the time. I wanted one all the time. I fantasized about driving to the nearest convenience store and buying a pack. Half of my brain would say, "No! No! No!" and the other half would say, "Yes! Yes! Yes!". I really didn't WANT to go back to smoking, but eventually I couldn't stand the constant, corrosive, obsessive thinking about cigarettes!

 

There are some very good classic posts about this in-between stage that is sometimes called the"No Man's Land"stage.  But something that helped me a lot was something another member said when I was struggling-- you CAN control what you think about! Imagine that! When you keep thinking and thinking and thinking about smoking, you can NOT stop thinking about smoking. That is true--you can't stop. But what you CAN do is to choose to think about something else instead.

 

For example, right now think about an elephant. Imagine that elephant in great detail-- size, color, smell, environment, eyes, tusk, etc. Now think about a classroom. Imagine it in great detail-- its size, color, smell, desks, windows, environment, etc. Now the elephant-- in detail! . Now the classroom-- in detail!. Notice that you can focus EITHER on the elephant OR on the classroom but not both at once. (Unless you put the elephant in the classroom which is cheating. ) Your brain can not hold 2 different images at the same time. It just can't.

 

So when you find yourself obsessing about smoking a cigarette and it's driving you crazy-- FORCE YOURSELF TO THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE. Do not entertain those thoughts about smoking. Get out of the house and go someplace. Or go clean the kitchen. Or put on some bouncy music and dance. Or balance your checkbook. Or sit quietly and imagine in great detail your favorite vacation spot. YOU control what your brain thinks about. Do not let Nicodemon control your thinking; YOU control it!

 

This can be a tough fight, I know. It took me a couple of weeks to master the knack of choosing what to think about and what not to think about. But once I mastered that, I never got into another one of those miserable obsessive ruts. The occasional smoking thought, yes, but not the obsessing. And believe me, that is a marvelous relief!

 

So try it. If you find yourself thinking about smoking all day every day, force yourself to think about something else. Don't try NOT to think about smoking, but DO think about something else. I hope this will help you "tweeners" who are doing so well!

[Jenny]

Awesome post Chrys!  I had the same experience around the 3rd month or so.  Once the "excitement" of the beginning fades it can be like "what now"?  

 

This is great advice, we are in control of everything.  If you don't want to think about it, then don't. 

[Mastergardener]

Oh Chrys,

What a perfect time to post this! It is exactly what I am going through right now. Especially with being off work, my mind keeps going to thoughts of smoking., no, yes, no, yes, it is enough to drive you mad! I will try to do as you suggest and take control of my thinking.

Thank so much,

Karen

[jess]

Great..month 3 will suck too...ugh.

Okay elephants. Lol

[El Bandito]

Good post Chrys.

 

Another tactic.

 

You have more energy. You have more time. You have more self belief. You have more money.

 

Maybe it's time to take something else up? Run? Gym? Swim? A language? A craft? You quit smoking, spend a little cash and some time on something else, something that you want to do...

[action]

Great..month 3 will suck too...ugh.

Okay elephants. Lol

Not necessarily Jess, but now you know that Elephants can help of it does ;)

 

Karen, it's so great that Chry's post has helped you!

 

Chrys, you are very special :wub:

[Jclarke241]

Thank you so much for this post. I'm only in week three but mentally, you described exactly where I've been for the past few days. I'll definitely try thinking about "elephants".

[Doreensfree]

Bumping this good post ...

[Reciprocity]

Let's bump this one up again because we have a few people around 1 month and 2 months. !st month is most challenging in some respects but the following months hold special challenges as well. Keep strengthening those quits. Remember - every battle you win makes you stronger and weakens the addiction!

[Doreensfree]

Bumping again for newbies ...

[tocevoD]

Thanks for the bump. I'm coming up to 5 completed months and this is definitely something that will help me in my current state.