WK/50 Group Discussion: WK/51 - Why Fear Inhibits Quitting Smoking & Why This Fear Is Not Based On Fact

[MarylandQuitter]

Let's get a good discussion going here for the holidays because as another new year is upon us, so are thousands wanting to rid their lives of this crippling and deadly addiction.  We may keep this group discussion going until the end of the year so we get a large sampling of fears, experiences and why these fears are not rooted in fact and instead nicotine (drug) addiction.

 

Many smokers are afraid to quit for various reasons.  There is nothing to fear about quitting but everything to fear about not quitting.  Then there are those who are new to smoking who have irrational fears about staying quit, fear of relapse, fear of failure and even the fear of succeeding.

 

What fears did you have before you made the commitment to N.O.P.E. (not one puff, ever), what did you do to overcome those fears and how do you view those fears today?

 

Once you actually quit smoking, did you have any fears about relapsing and if so, how did you get past them and do those fears still exist?

 

Here a couple of videos for reference, especially for our guests who may be having some fears that are stopping them from making a commitment to N.O.P.E.

 

The Fear Of Failure

This video explains how many people are fearful of even attempting a quit because they are convinced that it is impossible for them to succeed. The attached videos examine the reasons for this fear and will help to illustrate that smokers can quit if they understand the addiction they are fighting and how to take control of it.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_64RhiVj9Y&list=PLCDB8BA311D538113&index=8

 

The Fear Of Success

This video explains how many people are fearful of attempting a quit because they realize that they may actually succeed. The attached videos examine the reasons for this fear and will help smokers to understand that the fears they have of their lives being ruined are based on the false assumption that cigarettes were helping them to live as opposed to recognizing that smoking was ruining their lives in many ways.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHhWSOsWoBE&list=PLCDB8BA311D538113&index=9

 

The Fear Of Relapsing

Video explains how many people are fearful of even attempting a quit because they are convinced that even if by some miracle they succeed, they will likely lose the quit at some future point in time. This video explains why they may have this fear and what resources we have to deal with it.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoWuSG8W_2E

 

Quitting Smoking Out Of Fear

Video explains how quitting smoking simply out of fear of it's consequences has its limitations and may make staying off harder than it should be.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wpre2NagvY

[Dentalfloss]

I was worried that I couldn't quit. I never really tried before. I was also worried that I'd always crave and think about cigarettes. I'm only 5 months in and so far neither is true.

 

I was also worried that id be bored without them but I find things to do without really trying.

 

I was also worried about handling emotions without them. This fear took a little longer to over come but I find even if my mind does wander to the thought of smoking, it's a lot easier than I thought to dismiss.

 

For me, finally getting the guts to Atleast try to quit Got the ball rolling. Then I dealt with each fear as they arose.

 

Am I afraid of replaspe? I was very early on but since I figured out there are no emotions, events or circumstances besides myself choosing to light and smoke one that can make me relapse I no longer fear it.

[El Bandito]

For me, I had been a smoker for twice as long as I had been a non smoker.

 

Smoking was part of everything that I did.

 

How could I possibly quit for EVER?

 

I didn't.

 

I just quit for a day.

 

Then I quit for another.

 

Now, every day, I pledge to take Not One Puff Ever, Just for Today...

[MarylandQuitter]

Whenever I imagined myself as a non-smoker, I believed that I would be missing out on good times made even better because of smoking.  Going out wouldn't be as enjoyable without cigarettes and the ordinary tasks of daily life would become bland. 

 

The big one for me was smoking while drinking my morning coffee.  I would seriously look forward to going to bed at night because I knew I would soon be drinking coffee and smoking half a dozen cigarettes while my mind and body sparked back to life.  As it turned out, I didn't miss those mornings once I quit and much to my surprise, I enjoyed my mornings much more without smoke in my eyes, the stench on my clean clothes and hair I didn't have to go outside or in the garage and sit on a stool.  I remembered reading about how many people are found dead with a cigarette next to them.  I often thought about that while smoking in the garage and wondered if it would be me.

 

These are just a few of fears/lies that I believed for so long.  More to follow...

 

1.  I never missed out on anything once I quit.

[JackiMac]

Quitting always made me so afraid,  scared I would miss the nicotine, miss the cigarette, what would I do without it, I could never see further than that, even the thought of dying from lung cancer, heart failure even those thoughts did not make me want to quit.  I stated smoking at 12 to be part of the gang, thought it made me look cool, I couldnt smell the smoke from me, but I started to feel the effects, the tightening of the chest, the lines deepening of my face, being out of breath walking up the stairs, I started thinking, what if I could be braver than the addiction, what If I could face the addiction head on, I need a little medical intervention to stop my brain from wanting cigarettes, but again so far so good, I have been thinking about cigarettes alot recently, but I keep telling myself, be stronger than the addiction, be braver, don't be afraid of your quit, its making you a healthier, stronger person.  Positive thoughts do go a long way, nicotine addiction is negative thought,

[Evelyn]

II used to fail because I thought nicotine was a lifeline I couldn't do without so as soo as I got off patches I relapsed. This time will be different. I might post a view SOS's but I rather do that then going back to smoking. I know this point is a dangerous one. I need to get through. STICK to NOPE but it's a really point where I'm gonna be tested, Even now when I'm one step down with patches I'm getting thouhts of smoking. 

[NayNay]

I think all smokers at some time or another have/had a fear of quitting.  I feared it for a long long time because I found many excuses to not face it.  I can't quit now because I definitely cannot afford to gain weight; I can't quit now because I have too much stress in my life right now; I can't quit now because I can't afford to feel sick and take time off from work; I can't quit now for....the list can go on and on.  When I was told that diabetic retinopathy was slightly beginning in my eyes and I googled everything I could on how to prevent the escalation of it, everything I read, first thing listed QUIT SMOKING - DON'T SMOKE - STAY AWAY FROM SMOKING.  I was more fearful of going blind than quitting cigarettes, so I made a date and I quit on that day, and I've not looked back.  I still get strong cravings or urges to smoke a cigarette, and every now and then still have dreams of smoking, but when someone who just had a cigarette comes near me and I smell it on them, it disgusts me now just to think that is what I smelled like.  And I probably smelled worse because I smoked at least a pack a day; sometimes slightly more.  It also made me feel terrible; I can see that now since I don't feel like that anymore.  When an individual quits smoking, it is a unique personal journey, and you must be ready in your heart and mind to be successful.  I think before I quit I was actually afraid of relapse, but once I actually quit, it didn't bother me.  Again, I think because I made a plan and stuck to that plan and a date, I had time to lead up to it and prepare myself for what was coming.  I can honestly say that if I can quit smoking, anyone can quit.  I was extremely addicted to my cigarettes, and couldn't imagine my life without smoking.  Now I look back and can't imagine my life as a smoker ever again.

[Tink]

Fear is one of our worse enemies I feel and I think as some get older fear is worse as it creates whole scenarios of why not to do something

 

 

When we were kids we were mostly fearless, nervous at Times yes but pretty fearless, we would give things a try

 

Ride a bicycle until the stabilizers came off and we would be freewheeling downhill

 

Learn to drive until the learner L plates came off

 

Climb a tree one branch at at a time and eventually reach the top

 

The thing is when younger fear was not really an issue or could even have been a motivator?

 

I think regardless we took steps then until we mastered skills and look what fun we had riding bikes, driving those cars and climbing those trees

 

Sure I got a few bumps and bruises but the reward at the end was all worth it

 

Taking a chance to see what's on the other side of that fear that's how I quit smoking

 

realizing fear was what held me back for so many years was half the battle, the rest as they say is history, education, support and determination was the other half of the battle

 

One that anyone could win!

[El Bandito]

what if I fail?

 

Well, if you try to quit and then relapse...you are back where you would be anyway. No loss.

 

It is the 21st century. We can no longer pretend in the modern world that we do not understand the dangers of smoking. There is no rational reason to continue smoking.

 

I feared failing. I had failed before.

 

But actually, there is nothing to fear. No one is forcing me to quit. I choose to smoke or not to smoke. So, if I make a choice to smoke, it is a choice, not a failure.

 

So, no fear.

 

I have made a choice not to smoke. Just for today.

 

There is nothing to fear.

 

Why not choose not to smoke today? It's not as tough as you might think.

[action]

I agree with you all and, looking back, it is ridiculous! How can a fear of failure stop me from even trying?! But it did, so many times...

 

I was also afraid of being bored - smoking stopped me being bored (yeah, right). I also thought that smoking helped control my stress levels (again, lol at that). So I think that once I figured out that these were all lies that I was telling myself, to enable me to carry on smoking without feeling guilty (how can I feel guilty, I'm an ADDICT?), that was a real turning point.

 

To keep quit, I always took it a day at a time. And I took strength from others that had quits similar or longer than me - I looked up to them. But I also took strength (and this is horrible to say) from people who relapsed - I saws people who had been quit longer than I had, giving in and smoking. And I saw these same people fail again, and again... I saw how difficult it was for people to quit again after a relapse, and I was not going to be that person, no way!

 

This place and my friends gave me the strength to keep the quit in times of need, and I hope to repay the favour whenever necessary.

[Doreensfree]

I'm a Life long smoker...52 years....i thought I would probably die a smoker....

Fear kept me from even imagining I could have a life with out my crutch...

I couldn't possibly live with out them.....could I.....

Oh yes I can...I can have the best life I could ever imagine....

Early in my quit ..I was told by the old timers ...stay strong ....the magic will happen....

It sure does....

Being a part of this group has been the most wonderful time of my life....

I now live my life living with a daily n.o.pe...

And I've never been happier....

[Fay]

When I was younger I didn't see anything wrong with smoking.  Why quit as I enjoyed them!  I also thought they were a stress reliever!  As more and more things were blamed on them, my children begged me to quit as they got the facts at school.  By then I was very afraid to even try to quit as I just knew I couldn't do it.  Years later I decided I really wanted to quit.  I think that is the key - really wanting to quit.  I put my last one out in the evening and the next morning made it several hours without one and knew I pretty well had it licked at that point.  I was one that as soon as my feet hit the floor I was out the back door for a smoke.  I won't say it was the easiest thing I have done but it sure was a lot easier than I expected.  I still get an urge ever so often but it just last for a second.  All you have to do is NOPE!!!

[Sazerac]

bump

[Doreensfree]

Bump for newbies !!!

[Sazerac]

On 12/14/2014 at 1:01 PM, MarylandQuitter said:

Let's get a good discussion going here, there are thousands wanting to rid their lives of this crippling and deadly addiction.  We may keep this group discussion going until the end of the year so we get a large sampling of fears, experiences and why these fears are not rooted in fact and instead nicotine (drug) addiction.

 

Many smokers are afraid to quit for various reasons.  There is nothing to fear about quitting but everything to fear about not quitting.  Then there are those who are new to smoking who have irrational fears about staying quit, fear of relapse, fear of failure and even the fear of succeeding.

 

What fears did you have before you made the commitment to N.O.P.E. (not one puff, ever), what did you do to overcome those fears and how do you view those fears today?

 

Once you actually quit smoking, did you have any fears about relapsing and if so, how did you get past them and do those fears still exist?

 

Here a couple of videos for reference, especially for our guests who may be having some fears that are stopping them from making a commitment to N.O.P.E.

 

The Fear Of Failure

This video explains how many people are fearful of even attempting a quit because they are convinced that it is impossible for them to succeed. The attached videos examine the reasons for this fear and will help to illustrate that smokers can quit if they understand the addiction they are fighting and how to take control of it.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_64RhiVj9Y&list=PLCDB8BA311D538113&index=8

 

The Fear Of Success

This video explains how many people are fearful of attempting a quit because they realize that they may actually succeed. The attached videos examine the reasons for this fear and will help smokers to understand that the fears they have of their lives being ruined are based on the false assumption that cigarettes were helping them to live as opposed to recognizing that smoking was ruining their lives in many ways.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHhWSOsWoBE&list=PLCDB8BA311D538113&index=9

 

The Fear Of Relapsing

Video explains how many people are fearful of even attempting a quit because they are convinced that even if by some miracle they succeed, they will likely lose the quit at some future point in time. This video explains why they may have this fear and what resources we have to deal with it.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoWuSG8W_2E

 

Quitting Smoking Out Of Fear

Video explains how quitting smoking simply out of fear of it's consequences has its limitations and may make staying off harder than it should be.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wpre2NagvY

 

bump.