Trying but really tough....

[bakon]

I am going to kill something...probably just this fake tree...it is messing with me.....topper needed all the lights changed....wife's from little girl or that angel would be flying out the door...got it done with new set of 15, some electrical tape, and didn't mess it up at all,.....then the cord is a foot too short and I am knocking stuff off everywhere....go outside to cool off and big wreath on house has a section out....where's the gun...going to end its life first and maybe not shoot the tree......dogs know I am mad...not under foot after I swore at them.....hiding downstairs....had rough last few days....wife doing her best...not her fault...helping her out...chemo bad part over but still getting one every three weks...makes her hands hurt and her brain is fuzzy...she just has little strength still and trouble with doing all she used to...I'm trying to do all the heavy stuff plus laundry plus vacuum, plus my regular dishes, and garbage  and dogs..pick up..,....work is very busy too..make a resume and cover letter for new position...rewrite three policies...track two officers and ADA down to figure out why the money and scales in court order don't match the report or what I got sitting in station....and that dam tree is going to get the brunt of this hurricane brewing......one more day of afternoon, resume will be turned in, vacation got to be picked by midnight tonight for next year....nights starting Friday for week , then week of vacation for me till right before new years...all got to be done and then ....fingerprints on the stainless steel fridge and then spots on the dishwasher...trying to pick up more chores to get her settled back in...hair about as long as a guy with a crew cut needing it cleaned up...just over the ear slightly and long enough to stick up funny like bedhead...mine is now shorter for sure,

 

then back to the topper angel...reroute the lights, get about 10 inches out of it....plugged in but tight reach...crash..another bulb on floor....thump thump thump...three more heavy items go down...wreath outside forgotten for minute...got to go online book vacation house then get into work and mark it before midnight....three times entering it cuz no cc needed now, but form wants it in there...fckit put the cc numbers in, enter, booked, back to work mark vacation (top spot on picks now but we all get three days to pick then goes down to next guy) ok all good....pull in drive..there's that dam wreath...where's that gun...anyone looking..neighbor is out...no I wasn't hunting, just bringing it home... tree safe for tonight too......dam neighbor...wheres my gun

[bakon]

everyone safe...I found a Hostess twinky in cookie jar...smiles

[Colleen]

Aww Bakon, you are clearly stressed, just one step at a time here.  Amid all the grumbling, it's plain to see you are a good man and are trying to take on extra to make it easier on your wife, kudos to you   :)  You just need to prioritize, fingerprints on dishwasher and fridge aren't the end of the world.  Garbage and laundry along with dog duty probably take precedence.  Catch up on other stuff on the weekend, really.  What's important make important, everything else can wait - except for Twinkies  and maybe a cat or two  :)

[Chrysalis]

Oh, Bakon...Bakon...Bakon! Ease up! You're blowing the transaxel! ("Aliens" is one of my all time favorite movies.)

 

You have way too much going on in your life right now. You're worried sick about your wife and you're trying desperately to keep everything absolutely normal and usual during this holiday time. you're trying to pretend the cancer does not exist. Don't do that! It will be much better for the two of you if you choose to keep just a few of the most important holiday traditions this year and spend the rest of your time being relaxed and happy with each other. (I recommend keeping the eggnog and brandy tradition to start with. :) )

 

My brother was diagnosed from out of the blue with stage IV cancer and I was his primary care giver. I know how mentally, emotionally, physically and financially devastating care giving can be. And I wasn't even trying to hold down a full time job at the time. Don't wrestle with a full-size tree. Go to Walmart or Walgreens and get a small table-top tree with built-in lights. Just for this year. You can put you wife's special angel on the top and a few favorite ornaments on it and then you and your wife can sit and listen to some Christmas music and enjoy looking at your tree (while you sip some eggnog with brandy). The tree, the angel, the music, the two of you. That's the important stuff. Skip everything else. 

 

Please try to identify the important things versus the things that you can let go (finger prints and spots do NOT deserve any notice!). Breathe deeply. Love your wife. Love your dog. Enjoy your time together. And chill... OK?

[BAT]

You're a good man bakon  :)

[bakon]

tree is up, we got tall ceiling so its a ladder job one, like 10 foot, but a "pencil tree" which just means expensive and skinny...I appreciate all the comments but you guys don't know my "special diagnosis" Wife gave me it. Some days its ADD and others out right autism. But only for certain things. Jobs I start get done at the expense of everything else. Tree goes up even if roof has to come off to do it. And Trains. I stop talking even when I see a train.

 

Good thing there's not a train to go under the tree!!!

 

[El Bandito]

My wife's diagnosis of me is a lot less charitable...

 

"Stubborn arsehole" seems to be the theme....

 

Love to Mrs B, BAKON.

[Tink]

have you thought about getting in a cleaner for the time being but not a pretty one the mrs wont appreciate that, that way you free up some free time to go enjoy, sometimes you have to let go of the reins just to enjoy the ride

 

hoping you guys have a special Christmas and say goodbye to a crap year

 

good luck with a new job

[Wendy]

.

[Doreensfree]

Aww Bakon....

We are only human....and can only do our best......

But sometimes it gets tested.....I bought and wear the t shirt.....

Your doing great....

Xxxxxxx

[action]

Sounds like you are trying to set a record for the most-stuff-done-in-one-day-by-one-person-ever... Try to take am moment, before you make yourself sick!

 

At least you jus booked your holiday (vacation), and you can relax a little now.

 

Hope you have a better day today!

[Still winning]

First off, loves to Mrs Bakon, sounds like a tough time going on.

 

Right now Mr Bakon!!  OCD I get, you're going to have to prioritize so you can add or whatever yourself into a happy place - or just without the gun tbh. Shooting the tree would not impress Mrs Bakon...the wreath might be fair play, make sure it's off the house first!! You need a routine or at the very least a list. Cause damn, who cares if the fridge has dirty fingerprints?!

 

Helpful hints. Buy anti bacterial cleaning wipes ASAP. Clean things like prints, sinks, surfaces by pulling a wipe out the packet and running it over what you want to clean...very quick! Get window cleaners and stuff like that in...ain't nobody got time for that nonsense! 

 

Pleased the tree is sorted now, stay away from the trains and you should be able to carry on!!  

 

Serious for a moment. Be kind to yourself. There is only one you and no one but you is in charge of self care. Get your butt on you tube and start googling meditation stuff. Even if it's just a few minutes, you need to find a re set button for yourself. Breathing is good - not generally you understand, that's essential, but deep breathing when things feel overwhelming! Deep breath in and literally blow out the crud, imagine all the stress leaving via the breath. When showering, imagine the water is cleansing the stress out and off of you (washing still good as well!). 

 

Your job is stressful and you're over loaded at home. We know it's a "for now" thing but still, take some steps to keep yourself whole - don't wanna lose a fellow drinker in this war!!

 

Big loves! xx

[Mastergardener]

Oh Bakon,

Sending mistletoe to you and Mrs. B. She is very lucky to have you and I am sure she knows it.

Wishing you both serenity and peace for Christmas.

K

 

P.S. On another note, have you ever thought about writing for publication? I am serious, maybe start with short story or article...

[action]

Oh, and I nearly forgot - much love to Mrs B !

[Devil Doll]

Hey Breakfast food. You, my friend, are a good man. Do what all of the other ladies here said... important things first and everything else in time. Your self diagnosis sounds familiar because I married one of those too. Good men that step up when they are needed. :) 

[sherry]

Bakon, sorry things are a bit overwhelming... sounds like you are a good husband whos trying to juggle everything all at once..

 

have you thought that maybe you're doing to much?..I'm serious.. sometimes those around us just want us to just be with them, watch a movie, cuddle, look at old photos, whatever feels like 'sharing time' to them...

 

and, believe it or not   we also need time of our own,theres nothing selfish in that -

 

take some "Bakon time", recharge and come back more focused and energized ...somethings have to be done like the others have said - laundry- dish's-bathroom, but the other stuff (and really in the scheme of things, thats all it really is 'stuff' ) can wait,....

 

I'll bet you Mrs. B would be perfectly ok with a few fingerprints here and there  if it meant you were less frustrated an more in the mood to enjoy the season with her....one way to find out.. ask her, see whats important to her, do that,.. leave the rest of the "stuff"  for another day..

[Sazerac]

Oh, dear one.  There is so much going on here.  

 

Slow Down.

 

 S     l      o       w           d    o      w       n.

 

meditate.

 

Lights, trees, guns, neighbours, wreaths, fingerprints on stainless, all that shite  DOES NOT MATTER

 

but, your frenzy is a RED FLAG.

 

s    l   o   w          d    o     w     n.

 

You have held it together for so long and are unspeakably weary...hold on...brighter days just ahead.

 

Love,

S

[El Bandito]

Oh and Porky

 

Don't let all the nice stuff above go to your head....

 

You are still a window-licker!

[bakon]

more of a complaint than a frenzy... tree done, wreath fixed, policy done, dogs have creeped back out, neighbor inside, resume ready, wife fine, gun located for next time...

[Gabby]

Feeling better today (((((Hugs)))))

[beacon]

I say get a jiffy maid once a month to vaccum and clean the floors, oven, fridge, bathrooms. Here in miami we also have alot of "cantinas " which deliver home made dinners to the house. Not expensive and plentiful. Do you have this, maybe it would help you.

[Jenny]

That's a lot for sure.   Imagine trying to fit smoking into your "things to do list".   xx  

Just love it when a man takes care of his lady.  If you could find a place in your heart for cats....You'd be perfect.  :)

[Chrysalis]

I say get a jiffy maid once a month to vaccum and clean the floors, oven, fridge, bathrooms. Here in miami we also have alot of "cantinas " which deliver home made dinners to the house. Not expensive and plentiful. Do you have this, maybe it would help you.

Beacon is 100% correct, Bakon. Get someone to help around the house. Maybe prepare a meal or two. If you take better care of yourself you will be able to take better care of your wife. HUGS! (((Bakon))

[Nancy]

more of a complaint than a frenzy... tree done, wreath fixed, policy done, dogs have creeped back out, neighbor inside, resume ready, wife fine, gun located for next time...

So glad it is better...others are better at advice than me...but it all makes sense.  Sorry to hear Mrs. B. still struggling...but happy there is progress..,proud to know you.

[Petra]

You and the Mrs. are troopers Mr. B!

 

My best to you both! :)