Husband sneaking around with nasty chew

[Kristin]

Ugggghhhhhh!

 

My dad gave my husband a cigar on Thanksgiving, and ever sense he has been sneaking around buying chew and acting like I don't know what he is doing. It is insulting and infuriating!

 

My gut reaction is screw you I'm having a cigarette then, but I know that really only screws me.

 

I'm just angry. I despise chewing tobacco, and I really don't want to buy it for him.

Damn it we were supposed to be doing this together.....

[Sazerac]

oh crap, Kristin.  Hold on to YOUR quit.  HOLD ON TIGHT.  You don't have to buy anything for anybody.

 

so sorry.  please NOPE hard, Kristin.  You have a beautiful quit to protect.

[Sazerac]

I'll go hang out in CHAT, join me if you want to to.

[Kristin]

I don't think I can get to the chat from my phone. :(

 

I went for a walk, I'm having some tea, but I'm still just sad and angry...

[Pippa]

Hey Kristin- disappointing as this is - you can't control your husbands quit - all you can do is look after after and cherish your own quit ... Your smoking will not make anything better- so stay strong and remember we are here for you ! Oh - and nowhere does it say YOU have to buy his chewing tobacco !

[Sazerac]

OK about Chat.

 

I am sad too.  This is an awful addiction.

[Kristin]

He is a stay at home dad... if he's buying it I am buying it. At least he is doing chew not cigs, I really hate the chew so I'm trying to see me smoking in the same light and it's helping.

[Kristin]

It is awful! I was proud of us doing this thing together... ugh!!

[Sazerac]

It is all terrible...anything delivering Nicotine.  Addiction sucks.  You have a beautiful quit to protect.

 

You are really disappointed.  arghhhhhhhhhhh.  

 

I bet he is really disappointed in himself too.  nobody is happy here.

[Sazerac]

keep your quit, Kristin.  I hope you keep your quit.  This will make you stronger.

 

Separate your quits.  Keep them independent. Sad.  but, OK.  dammit.  OK...you keep your quit.

[Pippa]

Hey sweetie - of course you are disappointed - but you need to remember to stay proud of your quit - you are doing so great and remember when you get through this - that quit will be even stronger- here if you need it !

[Kristin]

That's a good perspective, the attitude he has right now is likely his junky thinking trying to justify this.

[Pippa]

That's a good perspective, the attitude he has right now is likely his junky thinking trying to justify this.

Perfect thinking - just don't let his junkie anywhere near that beautiful quit you have going !

[Sazerac]

excellent you can identify the junkie and not go along with it.  

 

Stand your ground.  You know too much to start the addiction up again.  You know too much now.

 

You are a FREE person.  Don't give that away, you have worked too hard.  You are Free.

[Kristin]

Ok, it's ok... I'm gunna be sad and disappointed. That's ok.

 

If I smoke I will be even more sad and disappointed plus stinky. I want to smack him!

[Pippa]

Ok - maybe you can't smack him - but that is where the Internet is perfect - let's find a perfect virtual smack down !! Much more fun than smoking I'm thinking ??

[Sazerac]

Oh...yep sad and disappointed and friggin' ANGRY at the addiction.  It is a b i t c h !

you are right,

you will feel really miserable if you smoke.  terribly miserable and terrible stinky too.

 

I know it is hard and it just sucks but, loving hub through this is the way through.

 

(after the smack down, of course)

 

DO NOT THROW YOUR QUIT AWAY.

[Kristin]

You guys are awesome. :)

[Sazerac]

You have an awesome quit....that is what is AWESOME here, baby  :D

 

 

 

what kind of tea are you sipping.  I want some tea.  chamomile maybe.

[Jenny]

:(  I'm sorry you're feeling this way.   It must be so disappointing.  It's so common for a couple to quit together and for one not to make it.  Sarge could tell you a lot about that.  All you can do is encourage your husband to quit.  You can't do it for him or anyone.  They have to want to.  It's hard, but you have to completely separate your quit from his.  He failed because he's an addict and he thinks he will only feel normal if he has his fix.   Don't you use this as an excuse to smoke yourself.  You know better than to believe the lies of the nicodemon.  

 

Proud of you for talking this out here.  That is how a successful quit happens!!  Maybe your husband would benefit from joining as well?  

[Kristin]

Cinnamon spice, little bit sweet with some anise in there. It's yummy.

[Sazerac]

You are so cool, Kristin, to go posting supportive things to other people when you are in an SOS.  That is GREAT.  You are a really valuable member here.

[Kristin]

I'm sure he would benefit, I doubt he would ever join though.

 

Did I mention yet that I really dislike chewing tobacco? Yuck, yuck, yuck. No more kisses for him.

[Pippa]

You are so cool, Kristin, to go posting supportive things to other people when you are in an SOS.  That is GREAT.  You are a really valuable member here.

+1 Kristin - so proud of you

[Kristin]

Thanks S.

 

When I help others I help myself, that's why this thing works! :)