Smoking Friends

[Kristin]

I had a big socializing day yesterday, foot ball game at my dads followed by birthday party for my nephew.

 

Walked into my dads house to the strong smell of cigars (he quit ciGS 5 years ago but picked up the cigars a couple years back and smokes them inside). The rest of the game went well snacks were yummy and my cousin was there who also recently quit. Over all this was a good social situation.

 

Next was bday party, also lots of fun. Kids got to go crazy at the pizza place. Lots of conversation with friends and family, ect. Then I fiND myself alone at the table, a bit confused. That's when it hit me, I was alone because they were all out smoking. The pictures on Facebook don't have me in them because most of them were taken when they were outside. I guess I'm feeling sad and a bit left out.

 

As a result my craves have been worse all day today. I also keep thinking the battle will never be over. How can I make it if people with 5, 6, 7 years relapse?

 

Need help fixing this mental disaster I'm cooking up here.

[Still winning]

No disaster, an absolute win in the making here chick. Your quit will more then likely inspire others in your group to try! How fantastic would that be to pave the path for them to follow. 

 

I'm sorry about the photos, I am, that's a toughie. But it's not worth harming yourself today..bet next years photo's are mostly inside!!

 

You are doing great. Don't set yourself for a fall, there is so much fantastic to follow this quit for you!!

 

xx

[Colleen]

We have all had to adjust to socializing with or without smokers.  It can be done.  For most, it takes time.  That awful smell of cigars & cigarettes can serve as a reminder of what you don't want to smell like.  

 

People relapse sometimes after a long time because they become complacent and deep down they want to smoke.  We are here for you to make sure none of that happens :)

 

You are doing this Kristin, just think in about a week you will have been quit for an entire month!

 

[El Bandito]

The battle is over. You won.

 

From time to time, you will romanticise the smoke. Only natural really. However, the reality is far removed from the romance.

 

I have friends who smoke. When they come around, they go outside for a smoke, I go with them. Watching them smoke, I feel certain that I made the right decision. I can still have the social time, the laughs...I just don't need to poison myself.

 

Deep down there is not a smoker in the world who does not want to be where you are right now.

 

Free

 

Every week it gets better Kristin. I promise.

[Chrysalis]

Kirstin, isn't it amazing the irrational tricks Nicodemon tries play on us? Here you've had such a great quit so far and such great get-togethers but Nicodemon is trying to get you to put a negative spin on all that just because the photos were taken outdoors! I mean, how ridiculous would it be for you to ruin your quit just to get your photo on Facebook??!! From now on, make sure you take a couple of photos INDOORS at every get-together. Personally, I have missed being in lots of photos because I was OUTSIDE smoking when all the photos were being taking INSIDE! Isn't that the more usual scenario?

 

You're doing great! I'm sorry that many of your friends and relatives are still smoking. But as Mart said, I you can show them the way you could encourage them to quit, too. You're looking at those photos, and looking at how many of your friends smoke, and Nicodemon is trying to get you to use that as an excuse to ruin your quit. Don't do it! Hang tough! Give yourself lots of credit for keeping your quit during some times when you were tempted to smoke. And above all, Keep The Quit!

[action]

Hey Kristin, sorry to hear about your troubles, and that you feel left out. The thing is that your friends don't 'get' to smoke, they 'have' to smoke because they are slaves to nicotine... You are no longer the slave that they are.

 

I know it may be hard to believe this right now, but on a few months, you will be able to go outside with your friends, while they smoke, and you don't. And they will ALL ask you how you do it, because they don't understand. Even now, when I go outside with smoking friends so we can continue or conversation or whatever, they always ask me about my quit - they are fascinated, and jealous and they want to be where we are, and that is a nonsmoker.

 

You are doing great, and you've always got us guys to talk to about these things - we got your back!

[Doreensfree]

Those folks have to smoke...

You don't have too....everyone of them would love to be in your place....don't be fooled....

Every time you win a battle ...it's nearer to winning the war....

Dont envy them...feel sorry for them.......

Your doing so well...stay focused ...your missing nothing.....

[Devil Doll]

Oh Kristin. I am so sorry that you felt left out of the gathering but Marti is right. You will inspire others and some of them will quit. How much did they stink when they came back in? You don't smell like that anymore.

 

I was shopping for Thanksgiving earlier and was in the section with the aluminum pans. The store was crowded so my mother was waiting for me a few feet away. There was a lady standing next to me that reeked... and I mean gag inspiring... reeked of smoke. I thought "that used to be me!" How offensive that smell is to non smokers.  When the lady walked off my mother came closer and even commented on the smell that she left behind! Oh how embarrassing to think that people used to make those comments in regards to how I smelled. :( 

 

You did great and didn't cave... good job!!! 

[Nancy]

Kristin, the people who relapse after a long time think they can have just one. They have just been abstaining...they still believe that smoking has some positive benefits.   Some type of stressful situation comes along, and they forget they are a puff away from a pack a day.  Smoking is not fun...it is just satisfying an addiction.  Ask people who say they enjoy smoking and that everyone dies of something if they are going to recommend their children take it up.  One puff is too much and 1000 cartons are not enough.  

 

I promise you faithfully that it will get better!!

[MarylandQuitter]

I had a big socializing day yesterday, foot ball game at my dads followed by birthday party for my nephew.

 

Walked into my dads house to the strong smell of cigars (he quit ciGS 5 years ago but picked up the cigars a couple years back and smokes them inside). The rest of the game went well snacks were yummy and my cousin was there who also recently quit. Over all this was a good social situation.

 

Next was bday party, also lots of fun. Kids got to go crazy at the pizza place. Lots of conversation with friends and family, ect. Then I fiND myself alone at the table, a bit confused. That's when it hit me, I was alone because they were all out smoking. The pictures on Facebook don't have me in them because most of them were taken when they were outside. I guess I'm feeling sad and a bit left out.

 

As a result my craves have been worse all day today. I also keep thinking the battle will never be over. How can I make it if people with 5, 6, 7 years relapse?

 

Need help fixing this mental disaster I'm cooking up here.

 

I remember those days when family and friends would go out to smoke and it like was like a little social gathering with laughing and joking and all that merry bullshit.  They had to go out and they could have had just as much fun inside not smoking.  The laughing and social hour would have happened inside had none of them been smokers anyway.  Misery loves company is about all it boils down to.  You being alone set and example that you're in control where they are not.  You're strong enough to stay inside while they have to go out and feed their addiction to over 7000 chemicals, many of which are toxic, poisonous and will eventually kill them many years before they otherwise would have died.

 

The only quit that you need to concern yourself with is yours.  Some people are going to relapse and there is no getting around that.  You've relapsed before right?  So have I.  Been there done that.  When I relapsed I was still believing that smoking could calm me down but I instantly found out differently.  Now that I got that last lie blown out of the water I have no desire ever to smoke.  I simply don't want to smoke and right this second I'm thinking what it would feel like if I took a puff and I have to tell you that it's not pleasant.  The thought right now is one of disgust and almost like I would have an allergic reaction to the smoke.

 

Keep doing what you're doing and if any part of you still believes that you can somehow benefit from smoking, we need to put these myths out in the open and talk about them so we can logically disprove them one by one.  :)

 

"It's Inevitable, Some Smokers Are Going To Relapse" 

If you are a member of any quit smoking support group, whether it be on-line or a live program, it is likely that some members of your group are going to fail. You should not interpret this fact to mean that it is likely or inevitable that you are going to fail. Video spells out the major difference between people who relapse and those who don't.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ego_dpPmfOk

 

Is Relapse A Natural Part Of The Quitting Process?

Discusses potential of long-term relapses after quitting, as well as dispelling the idea that people have to quit multiple times for a quit to be able to finally take.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nk6OFRO9BY4&list=PL4F05C03D0F9B86DB

 

Watching Others Smoke

Video discussing how to watch others smoke and to use such occasions to reinforce your desire to stay smoke free.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEEk5-0kj1A&list=PL4F05C03D0F9B86DB&index=15

[jess]

Kristin..I hear you.There are times that it us overwhelming that I will remain a non smoker for life. I too wonder what will make my quit stick when I read it hear of others who relapse after 8,9, 10 months and that those are very trying months..shit I'm struggling to make it to 2 months and feel like a train wreck most days.

Thinking of those who relapse after years almost makes me throw in the towel! But,I keep on trying to get through a day at a time which do far has worked. I have also strayed away from this site for reasons I won't get into but realize the need to stay close..I think.

Anyway...keep trying the day by day of success as a non smoker until hopefully someday we will rarely give a cigarette a second thought....

[Pippa]

Kirsten - you are doing fantastic- I'm sorry you were left alone - but I really believe those guys outside really wanted to be you ... Sounds like you did great - how are you doing now ?? Xx

[Kristin]

Much better today!

[Mastergardener]

Kristin..I hear you.There are times that it us overwhelming that I will remain a non smoker for life. I too wonder what will make my quit stick when I read it hear of others who relapse after 8,9, 10 months and that those are very trying months..shit I'm struggling to make it to 2 months and feel like a train wreck most days.

Thinking of those who relapse after years almost makes me throw in the towel! But,I keep on trying to get through a day at a time which do far has worked. I have also strayed away from this site for reasons I won't get into but realize the need to stay close..I think.

Anyway...keep trying the day by day of success as a non smoker until hopefully someday we will rarely give a cigarette a second thought....

I was so glad to hear Jess say that she is struggling. Not that i want her to :wacko22: but it helps SO much to know it is not just me. And it gives me strength to keep pushing.

[El Bandito]

Jess, Karen. Every quit has its ups and downs I think.

 

I learned that any thoughts of 'forever' scared me half to death. NOPE - the first time I saw NOPE, I saw the full version.

 

Not One Puff Ever...Just for Today. 

 

The second part is important - we just quit for the day. Then tomorrow, we pledge to quit for a day...before you know it you realise you forgot to pledge..but also forgot to think about smoking....

 

One day at a time ladies - you can absolutely do this. 

[SueBeDoo]

Well done you on getting through the day, that is a huge achievement, you really need to understand how well you did, I bet they all stank when they came back in.

I know it's hard at first when you quit and everyone around you is smoking but wait and you see they will all start following you and they will be and are already envious of what you've done, you are now their roll model, this time next year I bet at least half them will be smoke free,

You've done fantastic please make sure and spoil yourself because you truly deserve to xxx

[jess]

Karen..glad my struggling helps! It is a tough road... you're not alone.

[JackiMac]

Kristen my lovely, believe in yourself and believe that you have made the right decision, I relapsed after a good solid 7 months quit on the pretext of just one!!! I had a wobble a few days ago and told myself I was going to buy a pack of cigarettes, then I stopped and then I remembered that horrible feeling after I had lit that "just one" and I remembered the disgusting taste, the horrible smell, it made me feel sick my stomach, then I remembered how often I had told myself I wanted to quit, I hated being a smoker, and the crave was over, after time you will not miss the "So call social" side of it, because you will look at your friends who smoke and you will be glad that you are on the smoke free side of the fence.

[beacon]

Feel bad for them; they are still addicted and you are free. One by one my friends quit until I was alone outside or with people looking addicted like me. Be the first to leave the party, not the last. One day you won't notice and you will just have friends who smoke and friends who don't. You will feel vaguely sorry for the smokers. You will no longer feel any connection based on being a smoker