Struggling this month

[Aine]

I've been feeling the constant restlessness and anxiety in the evenings, particularly, since I quit smoking in February. I've used food as a replacement, but the 15 pound weight gain is the only thing I've gotten from that replacement therapy! Depression over the weight, a bicycle wreck that put me out of going to the YMCA for almost 6 months, another move, the selling of the farm and living in town now, husband's heart attack; a number of things have led to a total change in just about every area of my life. My mind is really craving comfort and stability, and I think that is why I'm just wanting to go back to smoking again.

 

Ok. Maybe that was BS. I want to smoke because I want to smoke.

 

I'm tired of fighting this "unease" with myself. I bought a vape cig last week; 0 nicotine, but the "habit" of inhaling steam is a red flag, I know. I wanted to replace the eating at night with ANYTHING legal and that wouldn't hurt me, but I think it was a mistake. It has calmed down the need to stuff calories in my face. I don't know. Just confused and tired of this. I don't want to smoke.

 

Reasons why I quit:

 

I don't want to hurt my son's health by smoking in the house.

I don't want to have to constantly go outside to smoke.

I don't want to feel trapped by the need to smoke constantly. I always felt it, except when I was smoking.

I don't want to die of a smoking related illness. I don't want to die, period. lol!

I don't want to spend money that I don't have anyway on my addiction.

I will continue to want to NOT smoke even if I smoke. And I don't want to go through the physical withdrawal again.

I don't want to smell like an ashtray.

 

 

Knew I'd better post this. I can feel myself trying to talk myself into smoking again. Not today though!

 

 

 

I want to feel comfortable in my skin without smoke. The YMCA is offering beginner's yoga 2 days a week. I'm going to start that tomorrow and work on some breathing and relaxation stuff. Hoping that will help with the restlessness. That has always been there. Thinking the smoking alleviated it is just shit I'm telling myself. Sigh.

 

Someone tell me, again, that this is going to get better.

 

 

 

 

[Devil Doll]

Aine, 

 

I don't know if you've been here reading posts over the past few months but for a few of the winter quitters, myself included, month 8 and 9 freaking sucked. Tracey came close to a relapse and Jackie did relapse. I am glad that you posted this, because up until Tracey posted her hard time I thought that something was wrong with me because I still wasn't whispering to unicorns and dancing on rainbows. It does get better Aine at least for me it did. I feel better now I don't feel like there is something that I should be doing anymore. It gets better. 

[El Bandito]

Aine

 

You have had one hell of a time of it. That's for sure.

 

I think it only natural that you be up in the air.

 

Listen to your rational side - smoking will not help any of that. You know it and I know it.

 

Yoga sounds like a cool idea.

 

It will absolutely get better - life has given you a kicking and you are still standing and still not smoking. Right now is the beginning of the upswing.

 

You got this.

[Aine]

Aine, 

 

I don't know if you've been here reading posts over the past few months but for a few of the winter quitters, myself included, month 8 and 9 freaking sucked. Tracey came close to a relapse and Jackie did relapse. I am glad that you posted this, because up until Tracey posted her hard time I thought that something was wrong with me because I still wasn't whispering to unicorns and dancing on rainbows. It does get better Aine at least for me it did. I feel better now I don't feel like there is something that I should be doing anymore. It gets better. 

 

 

Thank god. Thought I was seriously nuts.

[Doreensfree]

Aine,

I'm sorry hear you have had alot to deal with....

This is the area I have really had to work on......facing life's problems with out my crutch....

Smoking won't change anything....all the problems will still be there...l

You have a beautiful quit.....please don't lose it.....

Stay strong......

Xxxxx

[Sazerac]

Reasons why I quit:

 

I don't want to hurt my son's health by smoking in the house.

I don't want to have to constantly go outside to smoke.

I don't want to feel trapped by the need to smoke constantly. I always felt it, except when I was smoking.

I don't want to die of a smoking related illness. I don't want to die, period. lol!

I don't want to spend money that I don't have anyway on my addiction.

I will continue to want to NOT smoke even if I smoke. And I don't want to go through the physical withdrawal again.

I don't want to smell like an ashtray.

 

 

 

 

Listen to yourself.

Trust yourself.

It gets Better.

Breathe.

Yoga will help.

N O P E

[action]

Aine, you are right; you absolutely do not want to smoke. Smoking will kill you, just like it tried to do to someone very close to you recently!

 

It will get better, I can promise you that. Whenever I felt like you do now, I'd go on YouTube and watch people with various levels of life ending illnesses caused by smoking... And I would watch and ask myself if I wanted to PAY to end up like those guys and gals... No contest, of course I don't!

 

You do not want to smoke - if you do, you will be back to where you were before you started this journey of yours. I know you can do it, because you rock I every sense of the word.

 

Sometimes you got to fake it til you make it.

[Nancy]

Aine, you have been through so much. I think it is natural you would think about your old, comforting "friend".  Except you know now that that cigarettes are not your friend...they are trying to kill you.  Here is another article that might help...

 

Hang tough, Aine, it will get better, I promise!

[Mastergardener]

Hi Aine,

Yes, I feel all of that. I get moments when I JUST WANT TO SMOKE!

So far, I have kicked myself into shape, but I just want it to get a little easier.....

Wishing you the best,

Karen

[sgt.barney]

You took a wrong turn with The Vape - it's a slippery slope and the slide is deadly. You might want to back the train up a bit and consider losing your new Vape.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[ChRiSpY]

Life is going to suck... it is going to throw you curve balls.  

 

HOLD ON FOR DEAR LIFE... NOTHING GOOD IN LIFE IS EASY!!!

 

It gets easier... promise!!!

 

Keep on keepin on.. you will get there.

[Tink]

Aine I know exactly where you are to be honest 7_10 months were the worse for me, it was all emotional and environment linked, as I had no job, left home, left country had no fleshy friends close by and I felt isolated and alone and well a fish out of water and sorry for myself. really, I was looking back not forward

 

I thought my only familiarity to my old self was a smoke and I romanced this idea seriously for 2 weeks and it was hell on legs, I was so angry and miserable

 

I only know now that of course it was the right choice, I just needed time to adjust to the decisions I had made and fill my time with new adventures and people it all slotted into place and guess what it got better

 

You hang on in there aine, whatever it takes

 

Remember in the beginning we said it would, the same goes for now

 

You have been through a hell of a lot and you held onto your quit when the chips were down, you are amazing and you can get through this period xxx

[MarylandQuitter]

I've been feeling the constant restlessness and anxiety in the evenings, particularly, since I quit smoking in February. I've used food as a replacement, but the 15 pound weight gain is the only thing I've gotten from that replacement therapy! Depression over the weight, a bicycle wreck that put me out of going to the YMCA for almost 6 months, another move, the selling of the farm and living in town now, husband's heart attack; a number of things have led to a total change in just about every area of my life. My mind is really craving comfort and stability, and I think that is why I'm just wanting to go back to smoking again.

 

Ok. Maybe that was BS. I want to smoke because I want to smoke.

 

I'm tired of fighting this "unease" with myself. I bought a vape cig last week; 0 nicotine, but the "habit" of inhaling steam is a red flag, I know. I wanted to replace the eating at night with ANYTHING legal and that wouldn't hurt me, but I think it was a mistake. It has calmed down the need to stuff calories in my face. I don't know. Just confused and tired of this. I don't want to smoke.

 

Reasons why I quit:

 

I don't want to hurt my son's health by smoking in the house.

I don't want to have to constantly go outside to smoke.

I don't want to feel trapped by the need to smoke constantly. I always felt it, except when I was smoking.

I don't want to die of a smoking related illness. I don't want to die, period. lol!

I don't want to spend money that I don't have anyway on my addiction.

I will continue to want to NOT smoke even if I smoke. And I don't want to go through the physical withdrawal again.

I don't want to smell like an ashtray.

 

 

Knew I'd better post this. I can feel myself trying to talk myself into smoking again. Not today though!

 

 

 

I want to feel comfortable in my skin without smoke. The YMCA is offering beginner's yoga 2 days a week. I'm going to start that tomorrow and work on some breathing and relaxation stuff. Hoping that will help with the restlessness. That has always been there. Thinking the smoking alleviated it is just shit I'm telling myself. Sigh.

 

Someone tell me, again, that this is going to get better.

 

Relapses are always planned and I'm so glad that you posted this because if you continue with this notion that smoking is going to somehow give you stability or that you're going to be comfortable with yourself again if you smoke, well, we all know where this kind of thinking leads to.

 

Is it possible that you're still believing that smoking somehow benefits you?  There is no benefit to smoking.  None. 

[Chrysalis]

I've been feeling the constant restlessness and anxiety in the evenings...

 

 

 

 

Aine, I understand exactly how you are feeling. The phenomenon of "night eating" is the bane of existence for many, many people. We seem to do OK during the day when we're busy. But in the evening, when we're supposed to be "relaxing" we get this overpowering urge to snack on something even though we know that we are not physically hungry. Smoking helped to ease those urges somewhat but not entirely. And then when I quit smoking-- UGH!! The "night eating" got really bad! 

 

What I eventually realized is that I was suffering from both low-level chronic anxiety and boredom. Watching TV is not relaxing for me, it is boring. I had to stop watching TV in the evenings and do something more fun and creative. Going for a walk after dinner is great. Then retire to my sewing room and sew, or do some charcoal sketching, or use my computer to make photo montages. A friend of mine joined the bell choir at her church and another one started scrap booking for her grandchildren. Most nights I would lay on my bed and listen to a relaxation self-hypnosis tape (I like Emmett Miller best, but there are many others). All these things really helped to relieve both my boredom and my anxiety and I stopped compulsive night eating. 

 

Try to carve out at least an hour or two every evening to do something fun, vigorous, relaxing and/or creative. If you are really on the verge of relapsing, go to your doctor and get a prescription for antidepressants. You don't have to stay on them forever, but they are better than smoking! I know that you do NOT want to go back to smoking-- you are very clear about that. But you really do need to take some serious, consistent steps to relieve your anxiety and your boredom.  That will make a big difference in your life. I promise. 

[Pippa]

Aine - you have been through so much - it is no wonder you are feeling all over the place - but you know smoking won't fix anything. I love the idea of yoga ... It will help calm the mind and hopefully provide a distraction.

 

As the others have said - even down the track in our quits - we all still face triggers ... I know I was hoping that at some point the thought of smoking magically disappears - unfortunately that doesn't happen! What does occur though is we recognise what we are thinking and if we are smart we do something about it - like post on the board and ask for support :-). You can do this and it will get better, but in the interim stay close to the board and ask for help - we all want to give you whatever support you need !

[Petra]

Hang in there, Aine.  I agree that winter months SUCK!!!  And you have gone through so much lately. 

 

As far as e-cigs - They say they are nicotine free, but what other stuff do they put in them that we don't know about??? They aren't really regulated, right?  I'm certainly not for over-regulation, but for addictive stuff like cigs & stuff - yes.  It isn't right to sell a product that knowingly addicts people. 

 

I'm sorry, Aine.  Dont smoke, Girl. 

 

Just say NOPE! 

[Petra]

Also - Yoga isn't for everyone.  Personally, I needed something more physical - high cardio.  Some yoga can be cardio, but I'm too high strung right now for all the calmness that yoga offers. 

 

I know you will find what you need.  :)

[Nicole Diver]

This is a great list you have posted - keep it close.  Sometimes, the right thing to do is not always the easiest thing to do, but stay tough.

 

I don't want to hurt my son's health by smoking in the house.

I don't want to have to constantly go outside to smoke.

I don't want to feel trapped by the need to smoke constantly. I always felt it, except when I was smoking.

I don't want to die of a smoking related illness. I don't want to die, period. lol!

I don't want to spend money that I don't have anyway on my addiction.

I will continue to want to NOT smoke even if I smoke. And I don't want to go through the physical withdrawal again.

I don't want to smell like an ashtray.

[sherry]

Hi Aine,

 

I'm so very sorry you're have'n such a hard time,.. for me month 5 was a pain, month 6 I almost gave in,-I was just so tired of fighting,,, ,but I pulled out of it by the end of month 7.. 

 

Changing gears helped, I had gotten into a new post quitting  rut I think, same thing day in and day out, same fight everyday..

 

I shook things up, rearranged what I could - added new stuff to do,... some of it maybe  a stupid waste of time, but I needed to get out of the dread of what was an everyday self imposed routine/rut/battle for me..

 

it sounds like you're looking to shake things up too with your yoga class, good for you I hope that will help hun...

 

.I honestly don't know how you've hung on not being able to do anything at the Y for 6 months after the bicycle accident , I have to give you HUGE kudos  for still being quit, I really don't think I could have done it if I couldn't have got on the treadmill when I needed burn off some of this extra energy,.. so massive congrats to you for that not to mention everything else you've been thru...

 

Please keep us posted on how you are Aine, and please keep hanging tough ..after all you have already gone thru in the last 8 1/2 months and you're still  not smoking,  I know you can do this a bit longer until things level out for you.. I know you can Aine, I really believe you can do this... {hug}