Hmmm

[Dentalfloss]

I'm not sure where to post this and I'm really hestitant to post it because I don't want to scare the newbies. It's not an sos and I feel like an idiot posting this since I usually act like I'm doing good.

 

I am almost 4 months quit and l CONSTANTLY think about smoking. I've read that people that are at the same stage as me and some with less time quit feel awesome and I don't.

Smoking is on my mind all the time. I know smoking doesn't offer any benefits but I still can't quit thinking about them.

 

I read and watch videos and do all the "right" stuff but I can't seem to shake the thought.

 

Don't get me wrong. I DO have good days but they arent very frequent. I know I will have bad days for a while but I wonder why I have more bad than good. I thought it was all normal but then I read that people are only 2 or 3 or 4 months quit and have mostly good days with a bad here and there and I'm opposite of that. I don't expect to be over it or even close to it at this stage so don't think thats how I feel but DANG! 5 or 6 rough days a week and 1 or 2 ok or good days is getting old.

 

Why am I still struggling?

 

 

[Soberjulie]

Ah yes......the either thinking of smoking, thinking of not smoking, thinking of others smoking, seeing people on tv smoking........

I remember. :)

 

This will pass. I swear. Honest. 

Soon.....very soon.....you will look at smokers in passing only and turn your nose up a bit because they stink.

You will suddenly think "Hey!! I havent thought about smoking since....since.....well, a long time!"

Days will pass.....then weeks.....

Soon....soon....you will look at yourself in the mirror and you wont be able to believe you ever smoked in the first place.

[Soberjulie]

Ah, and a tip, for what its worth (it worked for me)

Anytime a smoking/not smoking thought popped into my head, I trained myself to say "No Julie, you dont do that anymore." Then (this part was important) I got busy. I cleaned a junk drawer. I read a book. I played games online. I picked a fight with my hubby. I bought new shoes. I baked. Oh boy did I bake!. I simply refused to allow myself the time to nourish the smoking thought.

An active, busy mind has less room for smoking thoughts.

[Dentalfloss]

Ah yes......the either thinking of smoking, thinking of not smoking, thinking of others smoking, seeing people on tv smoking........

I remember. :)

 

This will pass. I swear. Honest. 

Soon.....very soon.....you will look at smokers in passing only and turn your nose up a bit because they stink.

You will suddenly think "Hey!! I havent thought about smoking since....since.....well, a long time!"

Days will pass.....then weeks.....

Soon....soon....you will look at yourself in the mirror and you wont be able to believe you ever smoked in the first place.

Everyone says I'll feel better soon and I keep holding on to that thinking Ok, maybe next week or the week after but its getting more frustrating especially after reading that others are way past that stage in less time.I know My quit isnt the same as others and we shouldnt compare but I do just like everyone else has done at some point in their quit.

[MarylandQuitter]

Trust me, you're not the only who has struggled like this.  The important thing is to hold on and don't let go of this quit.  No matter discouraged you may feel, it pales in comparison to one of the many horrible diseases that smoking causes.  Every quit is different.

 

Every Quit Is Different

Video discusses how it is impossible to determine with any certainty what kind of withdrawals or problems a person may encounter when quitting because every quit is different.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYHkaGt-YhE

 

Related videos:

Comparing quits with others
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIlyD...

 

Amount smoked
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8MEE...

 

The fear of failure
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_64R...

 

If I relapse I will smoke until it kills me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCRLo...

Quitting smoking is more doable than most people think
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gtXG...

What is withdrawal really like
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbEoM...

Related article:

Every Quit is Different
http://www.ffn.yuku.com/topic/11549

[Dentalfloss]

Trust me, you're not the only who has struggled like this.  The important thing is to hold on and don't let go of this quit.  No matter discouraged you may feel, it pales in comparison to one of the many horrible diseases that smoking causes.  Every quit is different.

 

Every Quit Is Different

Video discusses how it is impossible to determine with any certainty what kind of withdrawals or problems a person may encounter when quitting because every quit is different.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYHkaGt-YhE

 

Related videos:

 

Comparing quits with others

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIlyD...

 

Amount smoked

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8MEE...

 

The fear of failure

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q_64R...

 

If I relapse I will smoke until it kills me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCRLo...

 

Quitting smoking is more doable than most people think

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gtXG...

 

What is withdrawal really like

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbEoM...

 

Related article:

 

Every Quit is Different

http://www.ffn.yuku.com/topic/115

Thanks. I watched that video this morning. I know we are all different but that doesnt make you feel better when others are feeling good and you aren't.

[Soberjulie]

MissLovelyDental.......you cant compare your quit to anyone elses quit.

Everyone's body is different. Everyone's psyche is different. 

If you want a fair comparison.....compare You to YOU.

 

Months ago, you were a stinky smoker. 

Now youre not.  :D

 

In the beginning, out of a 24hr period, betcha you had 23hrs of uncomfortable nonsense.

How many moments now?

Really.....real uncomfortable moments? 

Betcha its not what it was during that hell week.  :D

 

Ask yourself honestly "How often am I nurturing the smoking/not smoking thought?"  Rather than getting busy and doing something different/better/more productive?

[Dentalfloss]

Infact. I've watched most of those videos and i don't want to smoke again. I want to feel more good that bad and right now its the opposite.

[MarylandQuitter]

Infact. I've watched most of those videos and i don't want to smoke again. I want to feel more good that bad and right now its the opposite.

 

Do you feel like you're missing out on something by not smoking?

[Devil Doll]

Thanks. I watched that video this morning. I know we are all different but that doesnt make you feel better when others are feeling good and you aren't.

DF

I was miserable at 4 months. 5 months was ok and then for some reason 6 months was a kick in the butt and so was 7. It is 10 months now and I am doing oh so much better. I rarely have thoughts maybe 1 a week... 

 

I know what you mean because I wanted to scream! How is everyone else having such a great quit and here I am... Don't let the thoughts overtake you. My sober up moment with it was when Jackie relapsed. I immediately changed my line of thinking because of that. I know that hearing that it gets better makes you want to reach through the screen because I felt the same way but think back... How bad is it really now compared to hell and heck week? 

[action]

Hey DF, well this sounds kinda sucky... I know everyone is different, but a whole heck of a lot of people struggle around the 3-4 month mark - something about no mans land... Where your quit isn't exciting and new, people have stopped telling you how proud they are, and you start to wonder if you'll ever feel normal, and is it even worth it?! Yep, I was there myself at around 3 and a half months quit. It's a hard time, but it is doable!

 

And ontop of all that stuff, your brain is trying REALLY HARD to get you to smoke just one cigarette, as it knows that this quit is serious, and it knows it has to try to do something about it.

 

Also, you may be forgetting just how crap smoking was - the smell, social stigma, cost, cough, bad skin, shortness of breath, tiredness, and the constant, continuous state of withdrawal!

 

You've heard this a hundred times already, but this DOES GET BETTER... And until it does, we will be here to help you through and try to distract you! Stay really close to is, and read and post like your life depended on it (because it kinda does)...

 

Big, big (((hug)))

[Dentalfloss]

Do you feel like you're missing out on something by not smoking?

In a way, yes, I don't know what I feel I'm missing. I can't pin point it. I think part of it may be that I'm scared to go through strong emotions without smoking. I read and watch all the stuff I can but I can't get that out of the back of my mind that there may be something i'm missing. How do I change that? I tell myself all the bad but I can't completely convince myself to believe it all.I keep at it because I hope I will get to that point soon and I do want to be a non smoker.

[Dentalfloss]

DF

I was miserable at 4 months. 5 months was ok and then for some reason 6 months was a kick in the butt and so was 7. It is 10 months now and I am doing oh so much better. I rarely have thoughts maybe 1 a week... 

 

I know what you mean because I wanted to scream! How is everyone else having such a great quit and here I am... Don't let the thoughts overtake you. My sober up moment with it was when Jackie relapsed. I immediately changed my line of thinking because of that. I know that hearing that it gets better makes you want to reach through the screen because I felt the same way but think back... How bad is it really now compared to hell and heck week? 

THANK YOU!!!! I am so glad to hear you struggled too. Not that I'm glad you struggled but all I seem  hear is "my quit is all roses and sunshine" and I'm over here like " well isnt that f---ing great for you.."  

 

I hate feeling like this but I'm glad its not just me.

[Dentalfloss]

MissLovelyDental.......you cant compare your quit to anyone elses quit.

Everyone's body is different. Everyone's psyche is different.

If you want a fair comparison.....compare You to YOU.

 

Months ago, you were a stinky smoker.

Now youre not. :D

 

In the beginning, out of a 24hr period, betcha you had 23hrs of uncomfortable nonsense.

How many moments now?

Really.....real uncomfortable moments?

Betcha its not what it was during that hell week. :D

 

Ask yourself honestly "How often am I nurturing the smoking/not smoking thought?" Rather than getting busy and doing something different/better/more productive?

I'm sure it has gotten better and while I do get up and move and try to distract myself maybe I'm not doing enough. Thanks for the suggestions.

[Doreensfree]

Hi DF....

I can relate to all you are saying.....I smoked 52 years....I had to make a decision quit or amputation.....

My body and my brain went nuclear.....

People told me also it would get better.....I white knuckled it for a good few months.....

I would have real good chats with myself......

I know why I feel like this......I'm detoxing my self.....it takes time.....

After smoking a lot of years....it's going to take time and patience.....

Everyone Is different....we all heal at different times......but the main thing is it does heal.....

Don't look anyone else....your quit is your quit.....

Don't over think,don't look too far ahead....one day at a time.....

I can promise you the miracle will happen.....because it happened to me.....

Your doing just fine.....feel very proud...

Hugs xx

[Dentalfloss]

Hey DF, well this sounds kinda sucky... I know everyone is different, but a whole heck of a lot of people struggle around the 3-4 month mark - something about no mans land... Where your quit isn't exciting and new, people have stopped telling you how proud they are, and you start to wonder if you'll ever feel normal, and is it even worth it?! Yep, I was there myself at around 3 and a half months quit. It's a hard time, but it is doable!

 

And ontop of all that stuff, your brain is trying REALLY HARD to get you to smoke just one cigarette, as it knows that this quit is serious, and it knows it has to try to do something about it.

 

Also, you may be forgetting just how crap smoking was - the smell, social stigma, cost, cough, bad skin, shortness of breath, tiredness, and the constant, continuous state of withdrawal!

 

You've heard this a hundred times already, but this DOES GET BETTER... And until it does, we will be here to help you through and try to distract you! Stay really close to is, and read and post like your life depended on it (because it kinda does)...

 

Big, big (((hug)))

Thanks action. I keep holding on and believing it does get better. Hoping sooner than later tho. Lol

[babs609]

i always say it's like watching grass grow...you can't see it....but it's happening.  :)

 

This is where blind faith comes in...faith in us....and trust me when I say....it will get better.  As a matter of fact...the turning point for me was when I just accepted this as fact....that even on my worst days, i'm still not going to smoke no matter what and eventually...my new normal will come to fruition.  Guess what happened?   It did  :)  Unfortunately listening to the timelines of others experiences can sometimes hurt us because we are disappointed when it doesn't happen for me as it did them...and that does get frustrating.  But eventually...it does happen for everyone.

 

Just keep it one day at a time....don't worry about tomorrow and "how long will go on"  because the junky inside of you LOVES this frustrating thought...it's a weakness that gives the addiction a possible opening.  But you will not let that happen because YOU are stronger than IT

[Soberjulie]

i always say it's like watching grass grow...you can't see it....but it's happening.  :)

 

This is where blind faith comes in...faith in us....and trust me when I say....it will get better.  As a matter of fact...the turning point for me was when I just accepted this as fact....that even on my worst days, i'm still not going to smoke no matter what and eventually...my new normal will come to fruition.  Guess what happened?   It did  :)  Unfortunately listening to the timelines of others experiences can sometimes hurt us because we are disappointed when it doesn't happen for me as it did them...and that does get frustrating.  But eventually...it does happen for everyone.

 

Just keep it one day at a time....don't worry about tomorrow and "how long will go on"  because the junky inside of you LOVES this frustrating thought...it's a weakness that gives the addiction a possible opening.  But you will not let that happen because YOU are stronger than IT

Ya!!! What she said!! 

[Dentalfloss]

Hi DF....

I can relate to all you are saying.....I smoked 52 years....I had to make a decision quit or amputation.....

My body and my brain went nuclear.....

People told me also it would get better.....I white knuckled it for a good few months.....

I would have real good chats with myself......

I know why I feel like this......I'm detoxing my self.....it takes time.....

After smoking a lot of years....it's going to take time and patience.....

Everyone Is different....we all heal at different times......but the main thing is it does heal.....

Don't look anyone else....your quit is your quit.....

Don't over think,don't look too far ahead....one day at a time.....

I can promise you the miracle will happen.....because it happened to me.....

Your doing just fine.....feel very proud...

Hugs xx

Thanks Doreen. It makes me feel better knowing Others have felt the same way as me. I sometimes wonder if the ones claiming euphoria early on are just putting on a front or blowing smoke...

[SanDar]

Hi DF,

I too have days that  suck. A week or so ago I had some awful days. 

I read more of Allen Carr's book - yes, again. It did help.

What helped me most was realizing that smoking has NOTHING to offer us. Just a craving for the next one. It's a ridiculous merry-go-round and I'm so glad I jumped off  :)

Keep your chin up girl - things will be looking better for you very soon  :rolleyes:

[Dentalfloss]

i always say it's like watching grass grow...you can't see it....but it's happening. :)

 

This is where blind faith comes in...faith in us....and trust me when I say....it will get better. As a matter of fact...the turning point for me was when I just accepted this as fact....that even on my worst days, i'm still not going to smoke no matter what and eventually...my new normal will come to fruition. Guess what happened? It did :) Unfortunately listening to the timelines of others experiences can sometimes hurt us because we are disappointed when it doesn't happen for me as it did them...and that does get frustrating. But eventually...it does happen for everyone.

 

Just keep it one day at a time....don't worry about tomorrow and "how long will go on" because the junky inside of you LOVES this frustrating thought...it's a weakness that gives the addiction a possible opening. But you will not let that happen because YOU are stronger than IT

I really do believe you guys. I know it has to get better cuz no one would stay quit if it stayed bad. It's hard to see it when you are going through a bad moment though.

[Sazerac]

Jodi,

Congratulations on your quit

and also thank you for being here on the QTrain.

Your experiences are invaluable.

 

At a certain point, 

I had to put my foot down

and make myself STOP thinking about smoking/not smoking.

I was torturing myself.

 

I had to take myself in hand and say,

"ENOUGH !

This is not that big a deal !

Time to Suck it up, Buttercup"

 

You have the same power to take control

and stop the mental torture.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Devil Doll]

THANK YOU!!!! I am so glad to hear you struggled too. Not that I'm glad you struggled but all I seem  hear is "my quit is all roses and sunshine" and I'm over here like " well isnt that f---ing great for you.."  

 

I hate feeling like this but I'm glad its not just me.

I know what you meant lol. 

What Babs said is correct. You can't let the thoughts linger because the junkie loves it. I recommend going back to where Jackie relapsed and read what happened with her. She let the friggin thoughts in and ended up throwing (I believe it was 8 months at the time) away. You don't want to start again... what you are going through now you will never have to do it again if you stick it out. That is the line of thinking that got me through and like I said before I rarely think about it now.

[Dentalfloss]

Hi DF,

I too have days that suck. A week or so ago I had some awful days.

I read more of Allen Carr's book - yes, again. It did help.

What helped me most was realizing that smoking has NOTHING to offer us. Just a craving for the next one. It's a ridiculous merry-go-round and I'm so glad I jumped off :)

Keep your chin up girl - things will be looking better for you very soon :rolleyes:

I tell myself it's pointless to smoke all the time. I know the brain washing takes time to overcome.

[Doreensfree]

I know what you meant lol. 

What Babs said is correct. You can't let the thoughts linger because the junkie loves it. I recommend going back to where Jackie relapsed and read what happened with her. She let the friggin thoughts in and ended up throwing (I believe it was 8 months at the time) away. You don't want to start again... what you are going through now you will never have to do it again if you stick it out. That is the line of thinking that got me through and like I said before I rarely think about it now.

oh DD...is so right on the button here....reading jackies relapse was heart breakin...

The second you lit that dam thing....you would feel devasted...and wonder why the hell you needed it....

Your ridding yourself off a poison ...which is slowly killing you....

DF I don't know if you know my hubby has to have oxygen 16 hours of every day.....if it doesn't kill you first....

There is nothing to romance ....

You are the smart one......you keep your quit sweetheart....and love it....

Xxxxx