Depression

[Mastergardener]

SueBeDoo said something that struck a chord with me:

 

I stupidly feared I would never be happy or enjoy anything again, wouldn't enjoy going on holidays, wouldn't enjoy a night out, meal out, a cup of tea, thought I was going to be miserable forever if I became a non smoker, even at the start of my quit when I'd wake in the morning I would be thinking, what is the point in getting up if I can't smoke, life will suck bla bla bla

This is so exactly how I feel. She says it gets better. Can S or others tell me how long it took to feel better? I was okay while taking the NRT lozenge, but once I went off that, it seems that each day is getting worse. Sorry to be whiny, but the depression is really bad. Apparently, it is more a female thing, as my H says he didn't have it at all. If I have a time estimate, I feel I can hang in there....

 

K

 

[El Bandito]

Hey K.

 

You have made a massive change to your body chemistry, your brain chemistry, your lifestyle and habits. You have made HUGE changes. (And that is all brilliant bytheway)

 

Its okay to mourn a little.

 

You do however have to be careful and look at what you are mourning. We all mourned for what "we thought we were missing". We mourned for an illusion. 

 

I found that I had to tell myself every morning that I had not 'given up' - I had stopped killing myself.

 

Try not to beat yourself up (and you are not whining!) - make a little effort to congratulate yourself each day, a little effort to enjoy the amazing thing that you are doing...

 

It will feel better. Honest.

[Devil Doll]

I felt that way until about 3 months. I want to say that my three month anniversary was actually the hardest and "fake it til you make it" was a phrase that resonated with me. 

 

I know that you keep hearing the "it gets better" cheer a lot but it really is true. There are going to be some rough hellish days but they do get fewer and farther between. I had a crap day recently (yes, at 9+ months) but I can't remember the one before that. It isn't easy at first but it does become easier. 

 

I want to say that what helped me (aside from these fine people) was reading about nicotine addiction and about big tobacco. That stuff would piss me off to no end and realizing that it is legal to entrap people the way that they have infuriates me. That motivated me to never want to give money to those asses again.

[Mastergardener]

El B,

I hadn't thought of it as mourning, just a deep dark cloud. I WILL try to think of what I am gaining, not what I am "giving up".

 

DD,

I don't mind hearing it will be a while, just so long as I have an idea of how long to expect. I had some horrible stress at work, and that may be what set me off. I handled the stress at the time, but last night I got all wrapped around the axle about the problem, and so had some horrible craves.

 

Thank you both for the words of encouragement!

K

[Doreensfree]

MG I didnt know how to be a adult with out smoking....

But once I quit..I was angry ...I felt sad bla bla...

Folks who where ahead of me told me to,be patient...one day at a time....

My body was thrown into utter chaos....

I told myself...ok...I know what is happening...I will ride out whatever I need too...

It's amazing how it does all come together...the bad days get fewer and fewer.....

Stay positive......there are no negatives......what you are achieving is the most wonderful amazing .experience....

[SueBeDoo]

It's impossible to give you an exact time when that feeling will leave you because everyone is soo different, but for me it was around 3 & 1/2 -4 months when the cloud totally lifted and everything clicked for me, I started feeling very positive about quitting and did not allow any negative thoughts enter my head, I'd nip them in the bud the minute I'd start thinking negatively, my outlook changed and I started to love the new me,

For the first couple of months I kept going to bed early because I still wanted my "reward"smokes at night when kids went to bed so I had to go to bed to keep sain, same in the morning I really did not want to get up and I had to get 3 kids up and ready for school do I had to get up and I was very miserable in the morning, loved my morning smokes with my cuppa before kids woke up, that was the hardest one for me, I would get up and have a shower and put lots of yummy body moisturiser on, I found it helped me not want to smoke cos I didn't want to lose my yummy smell lol then I'd have a big breakfast and then suck on mints, gradually the mornngs got more bearable, I started going out for tea/coffee in the morning with friends and ordering a delicious cake.

Now I can hand on my heart say the thought of a smoke in the morning turns my stomach now, just as the thought of an evening smoke, I swear to you it gets better than better, it will be better than the best smoking day you ever had.

Thinking about it, I got extremely comfortable in my quit by the 6th month, so to be honest I would say it was month 6 were I was happy out and cravings/thoughts were few and far between, give yourself as long as you need but you will get there that I promise you,

It is essential that you reward yourself constantly, those cuppa and cake in costa coffee, starbucks etc really did it for me, I'd even go on my own and read a magazine.

[Dentalfloss]

I really wish I could give you a time frame but its different for everyone. I just told my husband that that's the hard part when quitting. You cant look at a calendar and count down the days until you feel better, just rest assured you will feel better and everything you are feeling is normal and has been felt by someone on this board.

I recently read that most quit symptoms are gone between 3 to 6 months and very few might linger for the first year. Anything after that probably isn't quit related. If the depression is bothersome or interfering with your daily life then your doctor can prescribe something thatll help.

Quitting is a huge change for everyone and smoking was so intertwined in everything we did all day everyday that its gonna take a while to feel "normal" after we quit.  2 months is a huge accomplishment but its just a drop in the bucket when you compare it to the number of years you smoked. :)

[Mastergardener]

Doreen,  I will repeat to myself "one day at a time"!

 

Sue, thank you for giving me an idea of the time frame for you and the suggestions!

 

DF, Yes, I keep telling myself to be patient. You can't get over 42 years in a few weeks or months.

 

Thank you all so much!

K

[BAT]

Smile MG and embrace the quit. it does get better and that's a fact. You have to occupy your mind with something else to distract yourself from these thoughts. Go for a walk, do something different. You are doing something now. Post Post Post. :)

[sgt.barney]

Wouldn't know. Never had any depression nor dark clouds.

 

It's completely under your control, y'know?

 

You have a choice, right?

 

Today I'm gonna be all gloom-and-doom-woe-is-me because I can't poison myself with nicotine **OR** today I'm gonna live it up because: FARK YEAH, I'M FREE!

 

Choose.

 

Choose life.

 

Embrace the suck, and be happy.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[Sazerac]

SueBeDoo said something that struck a chord with me:

 

I stupidly feared I would never be happy or enjoy anything again, wouldn't enjoy going on holidays, wouldn't enjoy a night out, meal out, a cup of tea, thought I was going to be miserable forever if I became a non smoker, even at the start of my quit when I'd wake in the morning I would be thinking, what is the point in getting up if I can't smoke, life will suck bla bla bla

 

This is so exactly how I feel. She says it gets better. Can S or others tell me how long it took to feel better? I was okay while taking the NRT lozenge, but once I went off that, it seems that each day is getting worse. Sorry to be whiny, but the depression is really bad. Apparently, it is more a female thing, as my H says he didn't have it at all. If I have a time estimate, I feel I can hang in there....

 

K

K !

You are detoxing from Nicotine and about to start your second week.

This can be a picnic but, not likely...

Hell Week followed by Heck Week followed by WTF Week.

 

You only have to live through this Once.

Every day your body and mind have a lot of readjusting to do, be extra kind to yourself.

It won't last long.  It gets better.

It gets a whole lot better.

Love,

S

[Mastergardener]

Bat, Smiling right now!

 

Sgt, Masquerading as my H, are you? But I DO understand what you mean :rolleyes:

 

S, Thank you as always!

 

Shaking myself off and moving forward....

[Sazerac]

K,  you got me thinking about feeling depressed and quitting smoking...

 

Admitting I was a nicotine addict and learning how addiction works was pretty depressing.

 

It led to a lot of inner truths, some prettier than others, some related to smoking some not.

 

Denial wasn't working for anything anymore because I was dealing with the Big Lies of Addiction

 

and pretty much, my whole world (inner and outer) changed.  

 

It was exciting, really.

 

I got over feeling depressed about being an addict

 

and started getting off on everything being fresh and new from the scouring.

 

Some days are better than others on this journey....

but, every day Free is a damn good day.

 

Love,

S

 

 

eta:  please understand, I am speaking about depressing 'feelings' and not clinical depression. 

[action]

MG, I'm sorry, I'm not completely sure when this will get better, but I can promise you that it WILL get better, and probably sooner than you think. Hang in there, and try to remain positive! (Sometimes, easier said than done!)

 

Hugs to you...!

[El Bandito]

MG - 

 

One observation I would make is that the attitude to the quit does seem to correlate very closely with the attitude from the quit...

 

Celebrate and revel in your success (no one else will after all!).

 

"I don't smoke any more" -_-

 

"I am free from that horrible addiction" :D

[beacon]

Before I Quit, my mom told me that she felt that life was not worth living for six months after she quit smoking. I used to think that sounded crazy until I quit myself. I felt that nothing was worth doing if I could not smoke, like go out, or go on a vacation. Three months after I quit I did go on vacation and I did struggle with feeling that something was missing even though I was in incredible, beautiful places.

 

But this goes away I think through living your routine and new experiences without smoking and retraining your brain to see that the smoking is not fun, the experience is fun and you smoked because you were addicted. for example, last year I did not want to go to my friend's traditional Christmas party because I could not smoke while drinking. I went anyway. I drank lightly and had fun. This year I am looking forward to the party.

 

I was very mean and cranky for awhile. I think it is important to look at how great you will feel and look as a nonsmoker . I am no more cranky or depressed now than I was as a smoker. It is a journey. Have you read The Easy Way to Quit Smoking? This book teaches a good way to feel about quitting.

[Humbled]

I give you credit for coming to the board with this - it is a great and admirable step - no 2 people are the same - some get depressed others get angry and emotional for the lucky ones it's almost a walk in the park - somewhere in the middle of all of it is you - depression and feelings of loss are very similar- if I were you I would ask myself a few simple questions-  Do I truly miss catering to the toxins I put in my body for so long - do I long to have that glorious taste of rot in my mouth again - am I truly depressed or just lost because I am not sure how to occupy my time now?  After you answer no to the first 2 come up with a few ideas that will pass the 5 minutes of time you are looking to substitute.... maybe do some exercise, write yourself a note of reinforcement so you can reiterate why you decided to quit- or just get online and log into the QT like this time -- it doesn't matter what you do as long as you just say NOPE!!  It is a mindset and a decision to make each day you wake up.  You got this - it isn't a race it is your new life so please do not be in a rush -just take it hour by hour, day by day etc.. it will get easier..

[Mastergardener]

Oh thank you ALL for the words of wisdom and comfort.

 

S, always so wise!

 

Action, thanks for the encouragement!

 

El B, Yes, attitude, positive attitude!

 

Beacon, Exactly what I am feeling now. I know it is stupid, but it just comes over in a wave and then recedes.

 

H, Yes, one day at a time.