Group Discussion WK/44: What was stopping you from quitting smoking?

[MarylandQuitter]

What were the main obstacles that hindered quitting smoking for you?  Explain what they were, how you got past them and if they were real or some notion that turned out to be false.

[MarylandQuitter]

I thought that I truly enjoyed smoking.  For me, this turned out to be a false belief.  Sure, there were the occasional cigarettes that were amazing, especially the first one with my morning coffee as I sprang back to life.  But those were few and far between and what was left were thousands of cigarettes that I didn't enjoy and in fact, much of the time while smoking them I was thinking about how it was ruining my health and shortening my life.  Now, my coffee tastes much better, I get to stay inside and peruse the forum while drinking it, no smoke in my eyes, no stink on my clothes and best of all, I don't even think about smoking EVER while drinking my morning coffee.  I thought the correlation between smoking and drinking coffee would be something that I would have to deal with for the rest of my life and now it doesn't even exist. 

 

I thought it helped me relieve stress or enable me to better cope with it.  Another falsehood.  As it turned out, smoking caused more stress in my life.  It caused me to feel guilty knowing that I was willingly robbing years of my life from my children, wife and family.  This was a huge burden for me.  The stress of knowing that I was killing myself. The stress of always concerning myself if I had enough cigarettes to get me through the workday.  The list can go on and on.  Smoking raises your blood pressure and forces your adrenal glands to produce adrenaline to flood your bloodstream to prepare for your body for "fight or flight".  As a result, your blood pressure and heart rate increase significantly, your lungs expand to ready themselves for action and your pupils dilate; ultra aware of any impending danger.  These reactions prove that smoking does not relieve stress.

 

We think smoking relieves stress because when we smoke we're in a constant state of withdrawal.  Every twenty minutes or so as our bodies have metabolized the nicotine, we crave more which causes us to go into withdrawal dozens of times throughout the day.  How do we relieve this stress caused by smoking?  Either continue smoking or quit.  Once you quit smoking, you're no longer torturing your body and mind by feeding the addiction which causes in and of itself, more stress in our lives than we ever imagined while we were smoking.

 

I think we could have an entire topic dedicated to how smoking caused stress in our lives instead of relieving it.

 

These were my two big ones.  I'm sure others will have the same but please write about them anyway because we want to learn about your experiences.

[Nicole Diver]

I thought it was the only thing that got me through the day.  Once I realized that the last cigarette was what caused the craving and that smokers smoked to feel like non smokers, things started to click into place more in my head. 

I sometimes have to remind myself that smoking a cigarette now would do nothing for me.  I would have to smoke several in order to get to the point where I would have to smoke to feel like a non smoker again.  Which would just be stupid, obviously.  It's ok to still have fleeting thoughts, that is a walk in the park compared to a lifetime of slavery and self-destruction that actually smoking again would cause. 

[SanDar]

Fear held me back. 

I was afraid of withdrawal, afraid that I would crave cigarettes the rest of my entire life.

I was afraid that I would never be able to actually quit.

So the fear of failure pretty much prevented me from quitting.

I'm so glad I proved all of those theories WRONG! 

[Doreensfree]

I too believed it helped me through stressful times...calmed me down....

If I have a smoke things will look better..it will,fix things.....

It's my little reward....I work hard.....its my little pleasure.......

All of it rubbish....

The problem was still there and still needed addressing....whether I smoked or not....

Amputation and killing myself slowly....oh yes....some reward for working hard....

I think a nice holiday would have been a much nicer reward....

[Sazerac]

Q.  What were the main obstacles that hindered quitting smoking for you?  Explain what they were, how you got past them and if they were real or some notion that turned out to be false.

 

I was an excellent and obedient Nicotine Addict.

 

For forty odd years,  quitting smoking wasn't in my vocabulary. 

 

Perhaps,  a passing thought of,  ' I'll quit someday'  but, those were rare.

 

I quit when pregnant and started back as soon as I could

 

(my midwife had a pack of Camel straights in her bag).

 

I didn't want to quit. 

 

Then, one day last year, I decided to quit, just to see if I could, 

 

and 

 

I quit.

 

I quit because I decided to quit.  

 

There were no obstacles.

 

When I look back,

 

there were more obstacles keeping me smoking than preventing me from quitting.

[Colleen]

My ignorance about what it was all about and how easy it really could be.  I was my biggest hindrance to quitting.

[Jenny]

I put off quitting for so long because I thought it would be impossible to get through the day without them.  It's how I managed stress. I was convinced it was a part of me, like an arm or leg. 

 

What changed was when I found this site and started reading posts from people who had quit.  I found that those people had felt the same way I did, but in their quit they found that they were wrong.  Smoking wasn't a part of them it was just the addiction talking.  They were (gasp) actually happier since they quit!  Imagine that.  I had never thought of not smoking and being happy as even a remote possibility until I saw others doing it.

 

It was a leap of faith that got me going.  I had learned just enough to know that I didn't want to be a slave to nicotine any more.  I wanted to experience the freedom others were having.  

 

It is SO much better, on so many levels, to be smoke free.  

[Nancy]

I honestly did not believe I could do it...I thought the withdrawals would  be horrible.  I was afraid to try without help, so I used Chantix.  I know Chantix helped ease the cravings, but the biggest thing I think Chantix did for me was give me the courage to try.  That is why it is so important that we support all quit methods.

 

I was relieved when my quit day came....the apprehension and fear leading up to the quit were worse than the quit itself.

 

If you are a newbie, or still lurking, I promise you it is not as bad as you are picturing.  I smoked for 40 years, a pack and a half a day, and I let smoking define who I was and my activities.  I love the new life!!  You will, too!! 

[SueBeDoo]

I stupidly feared I would never be happy or enjoy anything again, wouldn't enjoy going on holidays, wouldn't enjoy a night out, meal out, a cup of tea, thought I was going to be miserable forever if I became a non smoker, even at the start of my quit when I'd wake in the morning I would be thinking, what is the point in getting up if I can't smoke, life will suck bla bla bla

 

Guess what it's not true, I'm not misearable, I'm bouncing out of bed well able to get the kids up and out early for school cos of more energy and time.

I promise life is infinitely better as a non smoker, I wasted too many years fearing my life was over if I quit..

But I was wrong it's only just beginning xxx

[Humbled]

Anytime I thought about stopping, I always had thoughts around events - next week is such and such holiday or I should wait until after that night I have planned to go out etc.. I was convinced that I wouldn't have as much fun if I didn't smoke- simply ignorant to the fact that after 25 years I am even more relaxed and have even more fun without it. I have some other reasons why I smoked as along as I did as well as a the biggest reason why I finally stopped but that is something I will share OTR at another time. Either way - excuses to hold off on smoking are just that - I wish I faced my own reality earlier in life.

[IamDoingIt]

Utter TERROR of running out of cigarettes!

 

I had become a professional quitter. I did not truly get the 'THEY DO NOTHING FOR YOU, THEY DO EVERYTHING TO YOU' mentality. My first quits always left an opening. Blah-blah-blah-blah.....we all know what happens to relapsers.

 

Well, my last long term quit was quite awhile ago, and since that time, I have not been without cigarettes EVER! I would never and MEAN NEVER run out.  It was that fear of being out that held me back. I knew I could quit. I knew I could go without. I knew it all. I know all the material.

 

However, it wasn't until I went on a jag, and I mean a 5+ day jag.....the final day I had abused myself enough I went through 60 cigarettes that day. I smoked so fast because I was terrified to be without, so I smoked more and more.

 

Then, something snapped in my head.....they are doing nothing for me, they are doing everything TO me! At that point, I quit, and I have not looked back.

[sgt.barney]

"What was stopping you ... ?"

 

How hard everyone said it was.

 

Successful quitters said " that was the hardest thing I ever did ".

 

Failed quitters said " that was too damned hard ".

 

Turns out they were all wrong.

 

It was easy.

 

 

 

Easy Peasy

[BAT]

The obstacle was idiot me. I removed the idiot and then me quit smoking. ^^^^^ EP  :)

[Nicole Diver]

Gosh I remember being sick as a dog several years ago with the flu and being annoyed that I wasn't getting to 'enjoy' my smokes bc so ill. Geez!!

[Wendy]

.

[Chrysalis]

My biggest impediment was weight gain. I have been overweight to obese all my adult life and have had well-controlled diabetes for 10 years. When I quit smoking in the past (which I did-- 3 times) I just kept gaining and gaining and gaining until I went back to smoking. Then a LITTLE of the weight I gained came off, but not all of it. I just couldn't deal with the weight issues.

 

But recently my diabetes doctor told me that quitting smoking would be as good for my health as losing 80 pounds. He told me to ignore the weight issue and quit smoking-- we'll deal with the weight later. And he gave me a prescription for Chantix. So I decided to quit again.

 

In my case, I knew that I could quit smoking. I had seriously quit 3 times in the past for several months to over a year. I never "relapsed" in the sense of succumbing to an overwhelming urge to smoke; each time I consciously chose to start smoking again to stop gaining weight. This time I did quit smoking and I did gain weight but the weight gain plateaued out-- I stopped gaining after the first 2 or 3 months. I haven't yet lost the weight I gained (I do intend to do that eventually) but I'm not smoking, I'm more physically active, and my weight is stable. I'll settle for that for the time being.  

[Fay]

For years I “enjoyed” my cigarettes, at least that is what I told myself.  I also used them as a crutch for stress relieving, so I thought.  I was one of those that got up in the morning and as soon as my feet hit the floor, I had a smoke.  When I decided to quit smoking, I just didn’t think I could do it by myself so I used the patch for 2 weeks.  It was not nearly as hard as I thought it would be.  I think the important thing is to be educated so I recommend reading, reading and reading some more.

[ChRiSpY]

I agree with others above... Fear and how hard everyone said it would be.

 

Also... it was the only "bad boy" thing that I still did from my youth...I did not want to give that up.

[jess]

After many failed attempts I almost gave up trying... then I realized my attempts were just that..trying to quit because I should, its bad for you, my family wanted me to...My attempts were all for the wrong reasons. Good reasons but I didn't own one of them.

I decided one day that I have had enough.. that I wanted to quit..I owned the choice because of the right reasons. I wanted my freedom and my health. Itold myself that when my pack was gone regardless of where I was or what time it was..I was done.

 

Granted it has only been a bit over two weeks but I feel that this time I got this! Has there been junkie thoughts and romancing if course but, that's where QT comes in..Couldn't do this without you all!

[El Bandito]

Me, just me.

[queen greenlover]

My main thing was I so totally RESENTED/HATED being made to "quit or else". I'm thankful my drs never suggested vaping/E cigs as a trade off for giving up cigs. Plus I kept throwing away quits & it was because I "actually" thought when my dr saw unhappy I was he'd change his mind & let me have my "best" friend back into my lonely life. Plus I could start to breathe better after 6 wks so I thought cool I'm breathing better let's lite up & another quit would be ruin. Then after 2 yrs of quitting/relasping it finally dawned on me that either I "quit trying to quit" & wait for that next heart attack & this time skip the hospital OR accept the fact that unless I really do have a "deathwish" I needed to quit & stay quit. Now here I am almost at my 3rd anny. :rolleyes:  :rolleyes: 

[Devil Doll]

What stopped me was fear of the withdrawal. I had many failed quit attempts under my belt. The only thing that I have done differently is education and support. Support from other people who are doing and have done what I was embarking on made ALL of the difference. 

[NayNay]

What had always kept me from quitting smoking in the past was the fear of too much weight gain, or the painfulness of quitting (if that even makes sense).

 

I had attempted to quit smoking in the past, but would become so nervous and aggitated within a couple of hours, I'd cave and go buy cigarettes.  I have pretty much been overweight my whole life, and after having my two beautiful daughters continued as a Type 2 diabetic (it all started with gestational diabetes).  Of course every doctor I ever saw told me to quit smoking, but you figure that is their job right?  Most were hypocrites anyways because they were puffing away on their breaks or off hours as well!  I remember how doctors could smoke in their medical offices back when!!  Isn't that crazy?  You could smoke in the hospital, in your room!  Smoking when I was young was cool; it was not the social stigma it is today.  Pregnant women smoked during their pregnancies.  Nobody told them to quit.  I know my own Mom smoked with all three of her pregnancies.  

 

Eventually, after many years of fighting my blood sugar numbers, I finally wound up on an insulin pump.  Because I have to use insulin, losing weight is extremely difficult.  Gaining weight not so difficult.  The insulin alone causes a big stomach, even if you are not overeating!  But, I was always afraid that if I quit I'd begin stuffing all kinds of stuff into my system that I shouldn't and couldn't eat.  That always kept me from doing it.  Then one year I went to the opthalmologist and he saw the beginnings of retinopathy in my eyes.  Retinopathy is little hemorrhages in the vessels in the back of one's eye.  It is a huge problem with diabetics, and can lead to macular degeneration and blindness.  That was the ahha moment for me.  Everything I read on the internet in order to slow the progression or halt the progression said control blood sugar and QUIT SMOKING!  I committed to a date to quit smoking that very day.

 

So here I am now 5+ months after quitting.  It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be.  One thing I can absolutely say for certain is that you must be in the right mindset in order to be successful.  You must really want to quit, and be resolved to do whatever is necessary to do so and keep that quit.  I still get cravings, but they are easy to push away.  I still smell people smoking cigarettes, and I can smell cigarette smoke on those who still smoke.  I cringe at that because I think "that used to be me.  That's how I smelled to others" and it makes me feel disgusted and sorry for those who love me.  I'm happy that I don't have to stand out in the elements anymore to smoke a cigarette, and that I'm not wasting so much of my life away from what is going on so I can get that nicotine fix.

 

 

[JackiMac]

Its amazing reading through all the posts above, although many of us have so many different reasons for not wanting to quit, the main one that stands out to me is Fear, thats what stopped me for so many years, I was so scared to stop smoking, It scared me more than dying from smoking itself, it just shows you how deep the addiction really is that it stops our brain from being rational.  Our younger smoking selfs all confessed to "enjoying the smoke", it made us look cool, everyone smoked, sitting in the pub with our favourite tipple, relaxing with friends, sitting down after our evening meal, it was all brainwashing, I would tell myself I couldn't live without my smokes Ha, then I started to realise that I would die eventually with them, what did I want more, my life or a cigarette, no contest really, but its convincing the addict inside, he is there and he does come around quite often, but I believe I can overcome the addict and I can overcome the fear, because I am worth more.