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Posted

There is a new employee in my area who I see smoking outside. She is at least 20 years younger than me and we have a similar look, She is a good worker, a smart young lady. I have not said anything because when people used to say stuff to me, I would smile and ignore them. But I can't help seeing her as my younger self and I really would like to advise her on a change of course

  • Like 7
Posted

Do you think the younger doppleganger would be receptive to your guidance? I was the same way when someone tried to tell me anything about smoking. I would smile and nod, and go on puffing. Now I see myself making comments to smokers similar to what was made to me.  Recommending the site and telling them that it is possible. I get the same smile and nod that I once gave I don't give up trying though... maybe one person will be receptive one day. 

  • Like 7
Posted

Maybe at some point she'll open the door to a conversation about smoking and you can share with her your story.  These are always touchy situations because if she's not the least bit receptive, it could close the door on any future conversations but then again, it might not.  How well do you know her?

  • Like 2
Posted

I know I wouldn't have listened until I was ready to quit ... Then I would have been all ears ! Maybe just let her know you are there for support and advice when she is ready ??

  • Like 3
Posted

You know, there is a whole lot of stuff around that quitting smoking is really really hard.

 

If I had known that it didn't have to be crazy hard, I would have tried to quit sooner.

 

I think, you have nothing to loose by having a short conversation and she has everything to gain.

  • Like 2
Posted

I'd have been offended...in my mind it was my decision to smoke and its not illegal so just leave me to it. Sad but true.

  • Like 2
Posted

I never listened when people approached me.  After I had a blood clot in my lung I stopped for cigs on the way home from the hospital.  An addict is good at putting their head in the sand and ignoring the obvious.  It never hurts to suggest it though.   If she is already thinking about it, you could be the spark she needs. 

  • Like 5
Posted

That is a tough situation.  I want to tell everyone I see smoking that they can be free, but you just never know.

 

I wish we had business cards.  Then we could say, "This worked for me." and hand it off.  Maybe they stick in in the trash, or maybe they pull up the website that day or maybe after it has been sitting in a drawer for 5 years. 

 

I told an old school friend about this site (and the other one).  She has an illness, and totally wants to quit, but is fighting her way through the illness.  She said she checked us out, but never logged on.  What do ya do????  I emailed her more than once but she kinda blew me off.  I'd love to see her join us.  She'd be awesome here. 

  • Like 2
Posted

I'd say if you don't know her well probably better off saying nothing, if you do know her well you could say something to her,

I wouldn't have listened if it was me in my 20's cos I was of course invincible!!!

  • Like 1
Posted

I suppose that I wouldn't have listened either, while I was still a smoker... it's such a hard thing to talk to a smoker about, without sounding like an ass... IF I do talk to people about smoking, because they start the conversation, I always try to be positive, and say all the great stuff that has happened SINCE I quit, rather than tell them how bad it is to smoke... Don't know if it works, but hopefully I've planted some seeds in some peoples minds...

  • Like 2
Posted

Aww I said this before i am the same with my best friend.....

I bought her the Allen Carr clinic on DVD......she has never took the wrapper off......

But she listens to me,I tell her about this great place......I have just waited.....

Yesterday she says to me....I must find that DVD set you bought me....

Yesssss

Until that person breaks the cycle of denial.....them selves.....it will not change no matter what is said....

Addiction is a strong grip.......

  • Like 5
Posted

I never listened when someone tried to give me advice, I would just nod at all the right points and smile politely all the while thinking "yeah yeah wateva, nothing will ever happen I'm young, there is plenty of time", I can see the same look in my son's face. xxx

  • Like 5
Posted

I'm quite sure I probably would not have listened. Especially at a younger age. I was of the mind set that I could quit later, no need to hurry, etc.

However I have, as Action stated above "planted the seed" in a few people's minds. I waited for them to start the conversation and only mentioned to them a few of the positives of quitting. I was afraid to come across as the "smoking police" lol. 

It's such a fine line, isn't it?  

  • Like 3
Posted

I love Chrispys comment. I think if someone years ago would have just told me there quit story I would have listened and maybe kept that info back in my head for when I was ready to take the leap! I know very few smokers who have no desire to quit someday. Plus I would also feel that you were someone I could approach down the road for guidance.

  • Like 4
Posted

Ok random this is, but......

 

I work with some smokers, and the State of Michigan has banned smoking anywhere on most work properties and primarily  associated with schools... plus the district had a rule about it too.. and there are cameras everywhere...so they go hid,, where ever they can the camera isnt on them.... behind the trash dumpsters, they drive up onto a diff street to smoke in their cars, they hid by certain parts of the building.... i just wanna say.... GLAD THAT ISN'T ME ANYMORE.... ughhh. doesnt even sound fun.. to hang out by a dumpster...... uhhhh no. never again .......

  • Like 4
Posted

Sadly I concur. Smile politely and think wt, well I wouldnt have listened. 

 

However I back up Crispy's thoughts. I have said to people, I remember wondering if I could ever quit before I did. Or, if you ever wanna chat about quitting I can point you in some helpful directions. 

 

Hard isn't it :(

  • Like 1
Posted

I have to agree with Chrispy here as well - If someone simply just said I reminded them of them when I was their age and it led to a thought provoking conversation I may have entertained it - but I would not listen to uninvited advice or judgement. Good Luck!

  • Like 1
Posted

I don't think there's many smokers out there who think smoking is good for them. If she wants to quit she will, I'm sure she's aware if the risks associated.

  • Like 2
Posted

Chrispy made a really good suggestion. 

 

As a young smoker, I never listened to anyone. When I sat outside on my steps to smoke, there was this guy who kept approaching me and telling me his friend had tongue cancer from smoking. I continued to puff away and didn't pay him much attention. People tried to tell me smoking was bad for me, but I never once listened to them. Not until I was "ready" to quit. 

 

However, it would not hurt to tell her your story. You could even start it off with something like, "You know, I used to smoke..." and go from there. 

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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