Little SOS

[Evelyn]

I am feeling awful. Everything seems to 'attack' me, structures of life fall apart and it frightens me. I'm feeling so so lonely and sad. Am pfyshical ill and I hate it that I fight so hard and that this is my reward.

I'm not really craving - just wanna hide. Am so angry with my life and myself. So 'why not light that fag'? as my life is already a mess.....

 

My heart hurts so bad and I'm just so fed up with the loneliness - the tears and inner pain. 

 

So a little SOS. I HATE MY MOM for dying and leaving me alone. 

 

Says the little mess called Evelyn, for the moment

[El Bandito]

Evelyn.

 

don't be lonely - Im here.

[El Bandito]

I know your Mum going hurt. You know from your faith that sometimes we cannot understand these things. We must put our faith in God. God knows better.

[Fay]

Oh Evelyn, just remember things will get better.  You are here and we will keep you company! 

[El Bandito]

Smoking will only make things WORSE. Not better - but WORSE.

 

You - despite all of the attacks, have thrown off the chains. You have thrown those cigarettes away. That is AMAZING! 

 

You will not throw that away now.

[Still winning]

Evelyn, why not use the time to try and ind things to do and places to go locally - you will haveall that extra money now. Or go to the library and see what groups they have, sure most countries libraries do that.  Use quitting as a platform to transform aspects of your life!!  I am sorry for your Mum but she would want more for you than this - I would want more for my girls. x

[Evelyn]

I know but what am I some sort of freakin' superwoman? I'm still waiting for this apply to get a go - to sign in for a therapy home. Nothing yet ... the walls are creeping up on me. 

 

I know the Lord knows best but is there ever gonna be smooth period in my life for crying out loud?

[Fay]

It is OK to be mad at your mom for leaving you alone.  But as El Bandito said, those things are out of our control and we just don't know why God allows some things.  I know you are a strong lady and will get through this. 

 

[Evelyn]

Because I'm scared to go outside atm and have a nasty diarrhea

[Evelyn]

I know I'll get through I just had to vent - get it out

[El Bandito]

Having a cry is good. It relieves tension. We all get tense from time to time.

 

The Bible tells us to put our faith in the Lord. Do that Evelyn. Talk to God. Shout if you want! Just don't smoke!

[Colleen]

Evelyn,

I am sorry things stink right now.  Remember, it is only temporary.  Each time you pull through a difficult situation without smoking, you become stronger.  In time you will notice your anxiety levels drop and your coping skills increase.  

[Fay]

Vent all you want.  Just talking about things helps a lot!

[El Bandito]

I know I'll get through I just had to vent - get it out

Fantastic - Getting it out is great.

 

Every crave that you beat down makes you stronger.

 

Keep drinking water and breathing deep.

 

you are doing this Evelyn - you really are. Fantastic work. A huge HUG to you

[El Bandito]

Incidentally - I think you probably are Superwoman.... :P

[Evelyn]

Lord please help me cope with my emotions,

my pain and grief. 

the inner pain,

the desperate feelings....

The herbal tea is making me ill...

I feel so anxious,

Lord please calm me down, please

Help me cope.

In Jesus name Amen

[Evelyn]

Bandito - you're so kind thank you :)

[El Bandito]

Nice prayer E.

 

Ok - so you feel anxious. So - what we need to do is find things that calm. 

 

First thing is breathing. We want Slow, deep breaths. 

 

In, 2, 3

 

Out 2, 3

 

You really want to feel your lungs filling right up with beautiful clean air and then slowly let them empty...

 

Keep doing this.

 

It will slow your heart rate down.

 

Focus your mind on your breathing....relax.

[El Bandito]

Keep Breathing E....

 

Nice slow breaths...

 

These cravings have come to try to trip you up. They are prodding away at your sore spots. Thats what they do...

 

But we know this.

 

Because we know this we can beat them. We beat them with the help of God, with knowledge and simple exercises..

 

When they want to make us anxious - we relax

 

When they want us to breathe fast, we breathe slow...

 

A crave is just a crave...we can beat it...

 

DEEEEEEEP Breaths.....

[El Bandito]

Bandito - you're so kind thank you :)

Just a man in a skirt, Evelyn ;)

[action]

Evelyn, you don't have to feel lonely; we are your quit smoking family and we are here for you. Sure we may only be words in a screen, but behind those words are real people. And those people care for you and are your friends now.

 

Vent all you want, and we will still be here for you.

 

Remember that all of these bad feelings are only temporary. Each day breath you will be stronger. Remember your David and Goliath comment, and remember that David won. You can 'win' too

 

I will be around for the next hour or so if you need me.

 

(((Hugs)))

[leahcaR]

Evelyn you are so strong. That little smoking monster is trying to trip you up because it sees you are beating it. Don't let that little bugger win. Each hard time you go through without giving into it you will find the next one easier. It's trying to trip you up before you get to experience that.

 

Take deep breaths like suggested. It helps so much. And honestly sometimes screaming does help.

 

You can do this. You already are.

[Evelyn]

I went to do groceries and didn't buy cigs

[leahcaR]

Yay :) that's good are you feeling any better

[Trish]

Great job Evelyn!  So very proud of you.  Like everyone said...you are NOT alone.  We are all here with you!  Stay strong, Evelyn...you will make it through this.