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laura

By laura
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laura Newbie

laura

Posted
Posted

Why is it that as soon as you get stressed about something the first thing that comes to mind is smoking a fag.

Does that feeling ever go because although I don't want to smoke I am becoming unbearable to live with. I'm a stroppy mum and wife and I'm not liking myself very much at the mo. I'm very stressed the smallest of tasks winds me up its been 3 weeks since I quit smoking and I just want to get outside my head for a while.

  • Like 1
SanDar Newbie

SanDar

Posted
Posted

Why is it that as soon as you get stressed about something the first thing that comes to mind is smoking a fag.

Does that feeling ever go because although I don't want to smoke I am becoming unbearable to live with. I'm a stroppy mum and wife and I'm not liking myself very much at the mo. I'm very stressed the smallest of tasks winds me up its been 3 weeks since I quit smoking and I just want to get outside my head for a while.

awww Laura, those nagging thoughts certainly do go away. We smoked for so many years and that was how we coped with stress :(

Now we know that smoking only added to the stress. It gets better. I'm now at the point that I no longer live in fear of biting someone's head off, lol.

My family is happy for that :) 

You will get there too. What worked for me was taking a real look at what was stressing me. Then realizing that smoking would never, ever fix the problem.  

Hang in there. You will be soooo thankful you did :)

  • Like 6
beacon Newbie

beacon

Posted
Posted

Hi Laura, It does go away. After my quit, when someone said something to me, most of the time I was irritated and my temper would go through the roof right away. I was very unpleasant to be around for awhile and I thought it would be permanent. I was very angry. Now i am back to normal.

  • Like 6
Sazerac Enthusiast

Sazerac

Posted
Posted

Oh, I wish I could take it all away for you !

 

It gets so much better.  IT GETS BETTER.  It Really does, otherwise nobody would stay quit !

 

You are in the thick of it, for sure.

 

Hang in there.  Apologize frequently !    Be kind to yourself !

 

The more you say, NO to nicotine...the less hold it will have on you.

 

Reward yourself.

 

Take frequent showers (you can yell and scream in the shower and nobody will call the Police ! )

 

Go outside and run until you drop !

 

Inside do jumping jacks until you drop !

 

This awfulness will pass, I guarantee !  Hang it there.  NOPE NOPE NOPE  nope HARD !!!

 

Post often.

 

Distract yourself all you can.

  • Like 6
MarylandQuitter Grand Master

MarylandQuitter

Posted
Posted

Yes, that feeling of wanting to smoke when stressed will go away.  Stress, however, will not.  Stress will always be in our lives, sometimes more than others but make no mistake about it, it's just a part of doing business on planet earth.

 

During this last year of being smoke-free, stress has not sent me to want to smoke.  When I relapsed in 2013, it was the excuse that I used to convince myself that I needed to smoke.  I told myself it would calm me down, allow me to escape (even if only for a few minutes) and bring me back to a familiar place that used to bring me peace.

 

What I found when I chose to relapse was the exact opposite.  That place I thought was familiar was no longer there.  Once I knew the truth about smoking, that place could never exist for me anymore.  In other words, the truth about smoking fudged up any notion that smoking could help me. In fact, with every puff I was reminded of what a stupid thing I was doing.

 

Since I quit on Oct. 07, 2014, stress has not triggered any thoughts of smoking.  I'm sure it did a couple of times, but certainly nothing significant enough for me to remember.  The only time that I think about myself smoking are brief periods when something positive from the past triggers a memory.  The thought of me actually smoking only lasts but a few seconds and I'm never considering it, just remembering that I was once a smoker.

 

I never plan on or want to forget that I was a smoker.  The day I forget is the day I make myself very vulnerable to stepping into a trap.  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't know that I quit smoking.  It's a good feeling and one of accomplishment, not looking back second guessing my decision.  You too, Laura, will soon be here.  Focus on the positive that despite the stress, you're a non-smoker.  This is a wise choice that you continue to make, even while under so much stress.  During this process you're making yourself stronger than you can realize at the moment.

 

Post your way through this.  :)

  • Like 7
Doreensfree Grand Master

Doreensfree

Posted
Posted

This is our junkie thinking....telling us all will be better if we have that puff.....

It's rubbish.....it does absolutely nothing.....it doesn't change anything....

Don't forget deep in and out breaths.....

Soon enough you will be calmer.....tell yourself very often how brilliant you are doing.....keep,up the rewards.....

No matter how little they are......your doing great......

  • Like 5
Colleen Newbie

Colleen

Posted
Posted

Laura,

It does get better, I promise :)  Something I wanted to mention though...It almost sounds as if you need to come to the board more often than you have been.  It will become much easier, if you do!

  • Like 3
laura Newbie

laura

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Laura,

It does get better, I promise :) Something I wanted to mention though...It almost sounds as if you need to come to the board more often than you have been. It will become much easier, if you do!

laura Newbie

laura

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thanks guys your all great, I don't want to think these thoughts and it's not an sos I just needed a rant I will not smoke I can't allow myself to relapse ever again I know I don't want to smoke.

sazerac thank you for the reminder :-)

  • Like 4
Doreensfree Grand Master

Doreensfree

Posted
Posted

It's ok sweetheart...most of us have been just where you are now...l

Come here as often as you can...

We do have a vent thread and even a blip thread ,in the off the record thread...

You do what you have too.....just don't smoke......

Try punching a pillow......I've done that too....

Hugs xx

  • Like 2
Chrysalis Newbie

Chrysalis

Posted
Posted

Laura, I think that smoking does relieve stress but it works in a way you don't expect. I think that smoking helps relieve stress in two ways:

1. When you were smoking, you would need a nicotine "fix" every 20 minutes. If you couldn't smoke right then your stress level would increase because of nicotine withdrawal. So when you finally did smoke and the nicotine got to your brain, you felt stress relief. Your brain learned to associate having a cigarette with relieving stress, but the ONLY stress nicotine relieves is nicotine-induced stress. It doesn't help with stress related to bratty children, financial worries, flat tires or anything else you can think of. So, yes, your junkie brain thinks that smoking relieves stress. What you must do is get your rational brain into gear and realize that the ONLY stress nicotine fixes is nicotine stress. 

 

2. In the past when you were feeling stressed or angry or anxious you could take a 10-minute break and have a cigarette. You could remove yourself--physically and mentally-- from whatever was bothering you for a few minutes and give yourself time to calm down. Now that you don't smoke, you need to find some other way to give yourself a little break and calm yourself down. You can still step outside, if you like, but instead of smoking you can practice deep breathing for a few minutes or put on your headphones and listen to your favorite music for a few minutes or go in your bedroom and punch a pillow for 5 minutes--whatever works for you.

 

I think that if you develop your own strategy to cope when you're feeling stressed and implement it frequently you will feel much better and be easier to get along with. And, yes, what everybody else said is right-- this is a common phase when you quit smoking and it goes go away pretty soon. 

  • Like 3
Sazerac Enthusiast

Sazerac

Posted
Posted

Laura,

 

The thoughts are there and may be intense for a short while.

 

Acknowledge them,

 

Let them GO.  

 

They will get less and less.

 

If I didn't look at 'those' thoughts, it made them bigger and take longer to leave.

 

When I really looked, i realized how ridiculous they were.  It became easy to smash 'em to smithereens.

 

Easy even to laugh at them.

 

El Bandito shared something funny about inviting them in for a chat, sitting them down in a chair and giving them the 'what for'.

 

I liked that.

 

Love,

S

  • Like 4
Still winning Newbie

Still winning

Posted
Posted

Sorry Laura, I too am late.

 

I am always surprised in the heat of anargument that my first thought isn't smoking now - so yes, it does pass, and you become less griefy (abridged version) to other people too.

 

Breathing deep in for 4 and out for 4 works much better then smoking ever did! Try that. There will be a time again when you look fondly upon your family, if that's not today then so be it. You need time to heal physically and mentally and IT'S OK that YOU get that time. My bet is you've done loads for everyone and swallowed a lot of grief and now you can't...well hey, that's life for now. No the anger and thoughts don't last. Yes, they have a place. Explain it is you experiencing emotions properly and it will take a moment or two to adjust, you deserve that!

 

All else fails, I'm only an hours drive away or so...just get in the jam jar and come to me :)

 

Be gentle with yourself Laura, you are doing AMAZING!!

 

x

  • Like 2
action Newbie

action

Posted
Posted

I'm late!!

 

Laura, I just wanted to say the same as the guys - when I get stressed now (and I do get stressed), I hardly ever think about cigarettes... Really, there are 100 other thoughts that go through my head instead of smoking. Keep going Laura, I'm so proud of you for your 3 weeks!!!

  • Like 2
Nicole Diver Newbie

Nicole Diver

Posted
Posted

Why is it that as soon as you get stressed about something the first thing that comes to mind is smoking a fag.

Does that feeling ever go because although I don't want to smoke I am becoming unbearable to live with. I'm a stroppy mum and wife and I'm not liking myself very much at the mo. I'm very stressed the smallest of tasks winds me up its been 3 weeks since I quit smoking and I just want to get outside my head for a while.

That was one of my biggest concerns!!

How could I possibly "get through the day" without my "one escape."

I am so happy to tell you that YES it does go away.  I am not sure exactly when it did, it took awhile but now I almost never think of smoking in times of stress.

Now I don't really have a stress reliever, don't need it, just work through the stress on move on.  And it's totally ok.

  • Like 2
Still winning Newbie

Still winning

Posted
Posted

That's exactly how it's done, perfect! Don't let it take hold of you, acknowledge it and then shake it off and move on with your day. Great work!! x

  • Like 1
Pippa Newbie

Pippa

Posted
Posted

Hi Laura - really late again - but just wanted to say glad you are feeling better and really proud you posted ... Remember we are all here to support you if and when you need it a0d0423989cfe63dbac86525c36d6b54_zpsff34

  • Like 1

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