Mike and Dancer and Sonic

[bakon]

These three need to be our important project for next two weeks. We are a pretty experienced, educated group and need to focus on these two right now. Got lots going on to distract us with MQ hitting big day and the sticks current winning status.

 

On to our new/old friends. Both have been around us before and have used boards so how are we to be different for them this time? Not so sure of answer, other than be there, a lot. I think even Humbled would have some things to say as one of the newer members. He has experienced the quit more recently and can still feel the work.

 

As for what I will say, treat yourself everyday first two weeks. GO buy a candy bar, or magazine with that smoke money. Treat yourself to a pair of shoes or something small as a gift for making it two days, or one week. Nobody else is going to treat you for this work. Sorry, but even spouses wont know how hard you are working in those first weeks. Reward yourself, small things daily, large one when you think you earned it. Day 5 or Day 7. Party or night out you succeeded at not smoking. One week and two for sure. Dinner out, new hat, whatever you want, but usually skip because it can wait for birthday or other special occasion. That day has arrived.

 

You are going to work though the urges, and they weaken everytime you beat one. Body will adjust to not having smoke, the urges will fight and bother you. FEEL THE HEAL. That pain is your body healing and the last throws of the nicotine trying to get you back. You get stronger everytime, and they get weaker. Feel the heal.

 

Quiting is hard work. Nobody ever died from quiting and there is millions of quiters. No way your weaker mentally than all those others, so you cant fail IF YOU REALLY WANT TO QUIT. "The WANT" got to be the biggest part. I wanted to quit, I quit. Everyone else here did the same thing.

 

We are a group, you are our people now.

[dancer_I]

Aww Bakon, thank you my friend.  

[BAT]

I will share my window on the bus. ;)

[Nancy]

Mike and Dancer...however we can help, just let us know!  We are with you 100%!  And, Sonic, also glad you are back, as well!!

[bakon]

Sonic. Three quit buddies.

[Doreensfree]

You three lovely non smoking peeps....we have all been where you are....

Stay close to the board ,post often.....ask anything.....

We are all here to help and get you though this.....

So glad your on the train....

Hugs xx

[SanDar]

It's great to see some new "quitters" here  :)

[Tink]

good to see you three :)

[Still winning]

Absolutely!!  All of us have faced something you will face. Keep talking, that matters as oftentimes, others and I would get through the tough times with people talking us down and they didn't even know. 

 

Pre write an SOS. You might be super tough, I was in the chronic relapse camp, I knew at some point I would waver and yep, that happened but like I was instructed - do an sos and wait for at least 3 responses before throwing yourself off, it helps as does reading your own words. Do as many SOS's as you need, hundreds per day if needed.

 

My top tip is no over-thinking. You're not promised more then today anyway, so only quit for today. Don't panic about any further then bedtime and potentially the morning after's coffee :)

 

Treats are great. Quitting is great. Some side effects were not ideal so be ready, try changing  your thinking about them though, this worked for me like this.... itchy skin, good news as I'm healing from the inside to outside. Gums bleeding, good everything needs to come out somewhere. Lings clearing gunk (sorry tmi) good, need to get that out so my lungs can be free etc etc. 

 

x

[Sonic]

I'm saving my money for a transgendered prostitute with two legs this time. J/K :)

 

Thanks Guys

[Chrysalis]

Quiting is hard work. Nobody ever died from quiting and there is millions of quiters. No way your weaker mentally than all those others, so you cant fail IF YOU REALLY WANT TO QUIT. "The WANT" got to be the biggest part. I wanted to quit, I quit. Everyone else here did the same thing.

 

We are a group, you are our people now.

Great post, Bakon! I agree 100% with what you said. 

 

I would like to add, however, that there may be some confusion or even disagreement about what we mean by "WANT TO QUIT". That does not mean that you totally, completely, unreservedly want to quit and you have no ambivalence about it. I did NOT feel that way when I quit (6 months ago). Certainly, I wanted to quit for a lot of good reasons. But part of me also wanted to keep smoking. I didn't want to lose my "friend" and I was afraid of horrible withdrawal symptoms. I could imagine quitting for a few days, maybe even a few weeks, but quit smoking FOREVER??!! I don't think so. At my first major life stressor I'll probably reach for a cigarette again. I was not 100% committed to never smoking again like some people are.

 

What I learned is that you only have to want to quit smoking more than you want to smoke. Now that I could handle. Whenever I got hit with a craving, I learned to remind myself of all the reasons I quit in the first place. I would say to myself, "Which do you want more, to go back to smoking or to be able to go mountain biking this autumn?" or "Which do you want more, to go back to smoking or to get your mortgage completely paid off before you retire?"

 

Note that I learned to tell myself that the only alternative was "go back to smoking" and not "smoke one cigarette". That was VERY important! It's easy to give yourself permission to smoke ONE cigarette, but the experience of many, many people over many, many years tells us that ONE cigarette will inevitably lead us right back to full-time smoking. So don't tell yourself the lie that you will only smoke ONE-- that's bs.

 

So that may be one thing that is different for you this time around. You will teach yourself to keep reminding yourself about why you chose to quit in the first place and how desperately you want that good outcome. Remind yourself of this over and over again. Keep your eyes on the prize! 

[Devil Doll]

Well said Bakon. We are here for all of you.

[babs609]

I have no doubt that in a year....we will be celebrating 3 one year smoke free annys. You will rock your quits

[bakon]

Well bug tearcher has a good view. I like a more firm stance

 

NOPE. Pretty clear you can have one. Like the professor said

[Sazerac]

Chrysalis wrote:

 I could imagine quitting for a few days, maybe even a few weeks, but quit smoking FOREVER??!! I don't think so. At my first major life stressor I'll probably reach for a cigarette again. 

 

You can have all the ambivalence you want about 'forever'

 

but, it sounds like addiction talking

 

and nothing good ever came from listening to an addiction.

 

Not ONE Puff EVER....simple.

 

Super happy to see Mike and Sonic and Dancer and Jeffrey and Natalie, Evelyn, Slovenka, Laura, Humbled, APRIL !

Et al and the newbies

 

and EVERYBODY who dances to N O P E.

 

With the 'EVER' included. 

 

It is a beautiful thing to witness and be a part of.

 

Love,

S

[Still winning]

I'm saving my money for a transgendered prostitute with two legs this time. J/K :)

 

Thanks Guys

Good to have standards!! :)

[bakon]

he would ask for your shoes if he saw that photo

[NeedforSpeedHM]

yup yup yup..... we can and will keep you accountable....

 

a mountain of support.. and an a$$ kickin if needed. :)

[action]

Here for you guys, whenever you need me :)

[JackiMac]

I promise not to throw any peanuts at you all, but great to see you "boarding" the train at the same time, Bakon what a fantastic post from you, I love the phrase "we are your people" Sonic, Dancer and Mike, I relapsed after a beautiful 7 month quit not so long ago, and everyone here pulled me back onto the quit train in record time, supported me and helped me get back on track, being prepared when the nicotine demon comes a knocking is something I learnt from the relapse and have taken with me this time, romancing the cigarette is something I will not do, stay close to the board, yell when you need us and looking forward to sharing your journey with you xx

[Mike]

bakon, Nice of you to start this thread, (I haven't read it yet), and all the posters in it. Seems a long thread already. I smoked last nite, and am smoking again, today. I apologize. I'm kinda ashamed. You've already invested so much into my quit. Yet here I am, throwing it all away, again.

 

I am not the person I was before. Or, it seems like this. My other times when on "the sites", I felt strong, and in control, (or at least until towards the end of my last quit). I don't feel that way now.

 

Dancer; You were speaking of needing a quitting partner to run with, or something to that effect, and I said "You bet". I cannot be this person though, even if I was still "clean" and had not smoked. Please, connect with the others, as I know you can.

 

So, there you have it.

[Sazerac]

bakon, Nice of you to start this thread, (I haven't read it yet), and all the posters in it. Seems a long thread already. I smoked last nite, and am smoking again, today. I apologize. I'm kinda ashamed. You've already invested so much into my quit. Yet here I am, throwing it all away, again.

 

I am not the person I was before. Or, it seems like this. My other times when on "the sites", I felt strong, and in control, (or at least until towards the end of my last quit). I don't feel that way now.

 

Dancer; You were speaking of needing a quitting partner to run with, or something to that effect, and I said "You bet". I cannot be this person though, even if I was still "clean" and had not smoked. Please, connect with the others, as I know you can. I'll be watching, and cheering you on.

 

So, there you have it.

 

Gee, it was sounding so sticky for a minute there.  

 

DAMN I HATE ADDICTION.  Damn. Damn Damn.

 

I HATE ADDICTION.  it is such a m'fer.

 

Dear Mike, 

 

Please

 

Quit Being a Slave.

 

Just stop.  Put the friggin; smokes DOWN.

 

You deserve to feel really GOOD.

 

You deserve to be FREE.

 

Love,

Your Friend,

S

[Doreensfree]

Aww mike ....you know deep down...you can do this.....

You don't want to smoke ...or you wouldn't be here ..right....

Make a firm decision ....that's it...no more.....

Jump in to this board head first....take it hour my hour....minute by minute....

Just make a promise to yourself....no matter how your feeling....

Never stick anything in your mouth and set fire to it....

It worked for us....and it will work for you....I promise....

[El Bandito]

Mike, Dancer and Sonic - sounds like a Rap Group.

 

Keep smiling, keep quitting. Celebrate success!

[El Bandito]

Mike.

 

Tough times. Keep working through it. You can absolutely do this.