day 5 and struggling

[laura]

I have found that this weekend has been one major test for me my emotions are all over the place, I have a lot going on at the moment at home arguing with my kids mainly and this has been going on a while be I quit and I know smoking or not smoking nothing is going to change but I do feel I have put more stress on my self since quitting. I have cried loads today and I meditated which normally helps but really hasn't today

[action]

Laura... As you said yourself, smoking will not 'fix' any if these things. In fact, it will just add another item to the list if things that make you feel bad - smoking right now will make you feel even worse than you do already. Everybody has a bad day every now and then - even nonsmokers!!

 

What are you doing at the moment?

[beacon]

Laura, it is not unusual to feel like this for the first few weeks. Also, have you been doing any walking or other exercise to help you?  Or deep breathing? Can you write down your list of why you would like to quit right now? 

[laura]

I am going to go out for a bit see if that will help although it didn't yesterday it may today i know i don't want to smoke and maybe I'm over reacting with everything else going on what's frustrating is i know all of this with I want a ciggie is in my head the problem is getting it out bloody junky thinking is hard to get rid of :-(

[Chrysalis]

OK, Laura.  You're an intelligent woman. You know darned well that you could expect to have some rough days when you quit smoking, especially in the beginning. But we're only talking DAYS here, not a lifetime of misery! Your rational brain knows that you can do some things to reduce your stress and get through the day. It's your junkie brain that is telling you, "This is too hard!. Waaaaa  :girl_cray2: ". Don't give your junkie brain the upper hand.

 

1. Make sure that your blood sugar is high enough. Drink some juice or suck on hard candies.

2. Spend several minutes sitting quietly and yoga breathing (inhale 4 seconds, hold 4 seconds, exhale 4 seconds).

3. Go read your own "Pre-response" to an SOS here http://www.quittrain.com/topic/259-pre-respond-to-your-own-sos/?p=68505 It's pretty forceful! Read some of the others while you're there.

4. Read your list of the reasons you quit smoking in the first place. Read it slowly and THINK about each item on the list. If you did not write such a list, do it now.

 

You know that you do NOT want to smoke. You love your kids and you don't want to set a bad example for them so they start smoking some day. You want to be healthy and vigorous so that you can enjoy activities with them and you don't want to absent yourself every time you turn around so you can go out and smoke. 

 

You can do this, Laura. Calm yourself. Breathe deeply. Just do NOT go buy any cigarettes for the next 5 minutes. Then the next 5 minutes. Then the next. Hang on!!

[action]

I am going to go out for a bit see if that will help although it didn't yesterday it may today i know i don't want to smoke and maybe I'm over reacting with everything else going on what's frustrating is i know all of this with I want a ciggie is in my head the problem is getting it out bloody junky thinking is hard to get rid of :-(

Junkie thinking just plain sucks, but the only way to make it go away is to try to ignore it, or tell at it to shut up.

 

Why don't you go out and treat yourself to something nice? Spoil yourself, and try not to worry too much about all the stuff that's happening right now - I know, easier said than done, but possible... You can do this!

[El Bandito]

Hi Laura

 

You are having the battles aren't you?

 

That's because you were addicted to smoking - and you are beating the addiction. The addiction is kicking and screaming, trying every trick in the book to get you to smoke.

 

I know its tough, but welcome these feelings. Examine them. Turn them around in your mind - see them for what they are - the desperate attempts by your addiction to get you to smoke.

 

You are doing great Laura. Pat yourself on the back. Sip some water. Laugh out loud. Scream. Do what you like - but don't smoke. If you don't smoke the craving WILL GO AWAY. I promise.

 

Hold tight Laura - its brilliant on the other side of these cravings.

[Chrysalis]

Laura, be sure to read the new pinned thread about how other people handled their craves during the first week or two of their quit. It might give you some good ideas. http://www.quittrain.com/topic/2747-your-first-days-nicotine-free/

[laura]

Thanks guys i won't smoke unfortunately my kids already smoke they are adults who I am having difficult times with at the moment. I am going to go out with my daughter for the afternoon and look around the shops hopefully I will calm down by the time I get home!!

[El Bandito]

Thanks guys i won't smoke unfortunately my kids already smoke they are adults who I am having difficult times with at the moment. I am going to go out with my daughter for the afternoon and look around the shops hopefully I will calm down by the time I get home!!

When the going gets tough - the tough get shopping

 

'Atta Girl!

 

Have fun.

[Still winning]

It was always the stress of the kids that sent me back - different age - same junkie thinking. Change your scenery, good idea. If the kids get on your nerves go for a quick walk say, Nope nope nope with every step. About 3/4 minutes and I usually had a hold of myself again. Shopping could work too.

 

You just keep plodding through it and day by day you take control back! Excellent SOS post. xx

[MarylandQuitter]

From my experience, there is one positive to take away from the constant stress you're under; stress will not trigger a thought or crave to smoke as you continue on with your new non-smoking life.

 

When I quit I was under constant stress and often times thought about lighting up.  I held on and never lit up and the result was that I was training my mind that there was no longer a correlation between smoking and stress.  Now, still under constant stress, I don't think about smoking.  With some of the stress I've been under I would have for sure thought about lighting up if my quit in the beginning was relatively stress-free.  Stress does not trigger thoughts of smoking.  It used to when I smoked and first quit, but not now, not at all. 

 

When I first quit I thought about smoking all the time.  Every day many, many times throughout the day.  When I think about smoking now, although few and far between, it's when I'm calm.  For example, just yesterday I had a project that I planned to do in my garage and while I was looking out the window sipping a cup of coffee in the wee hours of the morning, I saw myself smoking in the garage before I started my project.  A few seconds later the image was gone and I never thought about it again.

 

The longer you don't smoke under all this stress the stronger you'll be in the future when stress strikes.  Right now you're thinking about smoking while under stress but don't give in because at some point, you will have retrained your mind (without even knowing it) that smoking and stress just don't fit.

 

At least this is my story and how my quit has been.  Hang in there and since you've committed to this quit, keep fighting because it gets so much easier.  I never believed in the beginning that the thoughts of smoking, especially while under stress would be largely gone.  It's true.  You just have to believe us and have faith.

[Doreensfree]

I tried to turn all negatives into a positive.....I had some good chats with myself....

Eg....I want to smoke.....ya that cos your a junkie....

I'm craving bad today.....ya its like that for all the junkies who are trying to quit ....it will pass......

Our minds are playing with our emotions......you've got to out smart it.....be stronger than than thoughts.....

Always make sure you are being kind to yourself......reward yourself all the time....

It truly does get easier.....I'm doing it....believe me so can you....

Hugs xx

[Sazerac]

Hello Laura,

I love what everybody has said to you  

and can only add,

to be extra kind to yourself.

You are changing from the inside out and that can be quite uncomfortable (and more)

but, boy is it worth it ? you bet !

Hang Tough.  NOPE hard.

Smile too,

it is a deep satisfaction knowing you will win.

Love,

S

[laura]

Hey guys thanks for all your advice I'm feeling a lot better than I was I feel very grateful to all of you. I think for me I struggle with weekends and being home because when I'm at work I seem to be fine but I got through this weekend so all good.

[Chrysalis]

Oh, good for you, Laura! I'm so happy for you that you were able to gain the upper hand over Nicodemon! You were so smart to post an SOS and then take the time to read and think about the responses. That was perfect.

 

We all have certain situations or certain people that are strong triggers for us. Yours seems to be weekends-- perhaps you are bored or you don't want to have to do the chores that have piled up or you spend more time with people who get on your nerves-- whatever. But now you know that you CAN experience strong craves on a weekend and still keep your quit. Isn't that a great feeling to have?? You are stronger than  your addiction!

 

I suggest that you think carefully about what it is that triggers you on the weekends and take steps to change your weekend routine. Get out of the house more. Or hire someone to do the chores you hate. Or be "too busy" to spend so much time talking to someone who gets on your nerves. Whatever it is, be honest with yourself about what is bugging you and take steps to change things. Meanwhile, keep reminding yourself that you CAN keep your quit over the weekends. If you did it once, you can do it again. And each time it will get easier and easier.

 

Again, good job today. You've got this quit! 

[Jeffrey]

Hello Laura- I too, love what everybody said, and when El Bandito mentioned, "...the desperate attempts

by your addiction to get you to smoke,"  it hit me between the eyes! Yes, the addiction is desperate, because

I am in charge....I have the power of choice....I have the power to say no to smoking a cigarette.

Maybe it's not so easily done as said by us new guys and girls, but it's right there.

 

I'm hardly different or no better than you when it comes to this addiction, and it have had some crappy

hours the past few days; but I  am beginning to see the facts and the truth the people before me

are passing on. I said NOPE today and I meant it. For me, I have to stay away from my head and

it's attempts at super-analyses and rationalization. This Forum and all the tools suggested as well as

getting in touch with the Power inside me is working for today, so far. That's all I have, and come to think

of it, that's all I NEED today!     Sending thoughts your way.      Jeffrey

[laura]

Oh, good for you, Laura! I'm so happy for you that you were able to gain the upper hand over Nicodemon! You were so smart to post an SOS and then take the time to read and think about the responses. That was perfect.

 

We all have certain situations or certain people that are strong triggers for us. Yours seems to be weekends-- perhaps you are bored or you don't want to have to do the chores that have piled up or you spend more time with people who get on your nerves-- whatever. But now you know that you CAN experience strong craves on a weekend and still keep your quit. Isn't that a great feeling to have?? You are stronger than your addiction!

 

I suggest that you think carefully about what it is that triggers you on the weekends and take steps to change your weekend routine. Get out of the house more. Or hire someone to do the chores you hate. Or be "too busy" to spend so much time talking to someone who gets on your nerves. Whatever it is, be honest with yourself about what is bugging you and take steps to change things. Meanwhile, keep reminding yourself that you CAN keep your quit over the weekends. If you did it once, you can do it again. And each time it will get easier and easier.

 

Again, good job today. You've got this quit!

[laura]

Oh definitely the chores at the weekend is the worst for me and I think I am going to do a chore list for everyone so it can make things easier on me.. :-)

 

I am great fun for all the advice if it wasn't for the quick response from u guys I think I would be in a very different situation right now and I thank you for that.

[laura]

Grateful sorry predicted spelling on my phone.

[laura]

Hello Laura- I too, love what everybody said, and when El Bandito mentioned, "...the desperate attempts

by your addiction to get you to smoke," it hit me between the eyes! Yes, the addiction is desperate, because

I am in charge....I have the power of choice....I have the power to say no to smoking a cigarette.

Maybe it's not so easily done as said by us new guys and girls, but it's right there.

 

I'm hardly different or no better than you when it comes to this addiction, and it have had some crappy

hours the past few days; but I am beginning to see the facts and the truth the people before me

are passing on. I said NOPE today and I meant it. For me, I have to stay away from my head and

it's attempts at super-analyses and rationalization. This Forum and all the tools suggested as well as

getting in touch with the Power inside me is working for today, so far. That's all I have, and come to think

of it, that's all I NEED today! Sending thoughts your way. Jeffrey

[laura]

Jeffrey we can do this shizniz all we need to do is realise we can't let the addiction get the better of us, we must kill this nicodemon once and for all :-)

[Still winning]

Good job Laura.  I want to add this battle is so rare now for me, only 6 months in and smoked for over 20 a day, 30-40 per day. The thoughts are not powerful, stress doesn't trigger the thought, an argument doesn't trigger the thought...just odd situations that I would have smoked in before. I was nothing special, my quit was nothing special. I didn't "get it" lol, I just held on and didn't smoke. Kept reading and learning and no smoking still equals a great quit.

 

You are doing so great and you got the choice, it's always a choice to say - hey this bit sucks, let's get through it no matter what and not do this bit again. x

[El Bandito]

Nice work Laura.

 

When the craves come - I used to smile and talk to them. "Pull up a chair" I would say. "Let's talk about why you are here"

 

(Obviously the rest of the world thought I was a nutter) - but learning to see the crave as a part of the healing process, not something to fear - made a huge difference for me.

[laura]

Nice work Laura.

 

When the craves come - I used to smile and talk to them. "Pull up a chair" I would say. "Let's talk about why you are here"

 

(Obviously the rest of the world thought I was a nutter) - but learning to see the crave as a part of the healing process, not something to fear - made a huge difference for me.