What Having 'Just One' Can Lead To.

[sharonsiff]

Ten years ago I have a fabulous quit going and I blew it :(

 

So embarrassed about this but feel comfortable here, to share. My doctor recommended I try Zyban, so I did. I'll be honest I went two weeks using it (at the start point) than normal but my doctor was fine, was just glad I was trying again. Woke up one day, about four weeks in and just didn't want to smoke!

 

Could. Not. Believe. It!

 

The run up had been smoked less and it started to leave a talcum powder feel to my mouth, hard to explain, just strange and totally pants.

 

So cracked on, got on with my life...no cravings not a single withdrawal....just unbelievable.

 

Four weeks in and I was so sure I would never even fancy a cig again I bought ten, to have one, to prove to myself I was right to think this. Well you can imagine the rest....it tasted pants, took three pulls and put it out..but the damage, for me, was done. :(

 

Started to think...well be a waste to waste the other 9, paid good money, they are not cheap.

 

The rest is history....what a fool....to this day I still can't believe I even thought to test my theory.

 

Thankfully, this sticky quit is different, I have no reason to test myself and just overjoyed that I am where I am in my quit....solid both mentally and physically.

 

Like I say never have just one...never test yourself....been there, done that and sadly got the t shirt.

[babs609]

This is why sticking to NOPE is so important.  Sadly, most of us had to learn the hard way, but we know better now, don't we?

 

[sharonsiff]

This is why sticking to NOPE is so important.  Sadly, most of us had to learn the hard way, but we know better now, don't we?

 

I'll say we do Babs...with bells on ;)

[action]

I think I've done the 'test' before too. Had a nice little quit going of a few months. Went to a New Year's Eve party and a friend was smoking - surely I can have just 1? It will prove that I am over cigarettes... Bought a pack New Year's Day and said they would be for 'emergencies' only. Started with 1 a day. Within a few weeks back to it full time :(

 

Thanks for posting this Sharon, it will be very helpful to a lot if people - education is so important - there is no such thing as one!!!

[Leanna]

Thanks so much for sharing your story!

 

I have also done the same thing... I guess we convince ourselves that our quits are untouchable, even if we smoke "just one." What a load of BS that is. 

 

At least we have now learned that no matter what, or how far along we are, we need to protect our quits and not take them for granted. 

[El Bandito]

9 month quit. Works Christmas do. Girls all want to dance - don't worry, I'll watch your handbags I said.

 

This was back in the days when smoking was still allowed.

 

"I'll just have one. Proves I don't like them any more"

 

Only taken 16 years to undo that particular proof.......

 

Great Post Sharon.

 

NOPE!!!

[Markus]

Sharon,

 

Well said, it's the story of you and all of us.

 

That's how we learn sometimes, and sadder but wiser we go on with our lives,

 

You picked back up though, that's the key.

 

It took me 20 years to get to the point where I quit after my only relapse.

 

35 years of smoking with a 2 month break.

 

You are quit now, and you have a lot of confidence, I can read it in your words

you know this is it.

 

Just proof for all of us that the best and longest of quits need constant vigilance.

 

Congrats on your sticky. :)

 

Markus

[sharonsiff]

Thank you very, very much Markus. :)

[Still winning]

I think quite a few of us have been there. 14 years ago I gave up a 364 day quit, it annoys me I can never say I had a year. Yes that was a bad day, smoking didn't make it any better or easier and the next 14 years of damage from that "1" is not a moment I can justify any longer. Not one, not ever! x

[El Bandito]

I think quite a few of us have been there. 14 years ago I gave up a 364 day quit, it annoys me I can never say I had a year. Yes that was a bad day, smoking didn't make it any better or easier and the next 14 years of damage from that "1" is not a moment I can justify any longer. Not one, not ever! x

364 days?

 

Marti - you Muppet! :o

 

Glad you posted it though - Ever Vigilant might be my new motto!

[sharonsiff]

I think quite a few of us have been there. 14 years ago I gave up a 364 day quit, it annoys me I can never say I had a year. Yes that was a bad day, smoking didn't make it any better or easier and the next 14 years of damage from that "1" is not a moment I can justify any longer. Not one, not ever! x

Oh my goodness...mind you...once bitten, twice shy.

[...]

This has been my downfall EACH. AND. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.   I end up telling myself I enjoy smoking.  That I like the way it makes me feel..... relaxed, calm.  I run my butt off every day at work and then come home to my son and it's all baseball every night just about.  What's wrong with having just one ?   I work hard and I deserve to have one thing that I enjoy, for me, that I can indulge in.  I can have one every once in a while and I will just quit again.

 

My friends smoke.  The lady in the car next to me sitting on the freeway is smoking.  And she looks so freaking relaxed, enjoying her cigarette after working all day.  My neighbor smokes and we enjoy sitting out on the back patio and smoking, talking about our lives and the kids.  Her son is my second son and vice versa. Ok, I'll just have one with her and no harm will be done.

 

Friends have a crawfish party.  Ok, I will just smoke one or two tonight and tomorrow, I'll go back to quitting.  I feel better since I havent' smoked in 2 weeks/ 1 week (however long it might be), surely, I can have one.  I won't even smoke the whole thing. 

 

Problem is.... I never have just one.  Within 2 hours, I'm at the store buying a whole pack.  I will smoke what I need tonight and in the morning, I will give what I have left to the neighbor.  And then when I wake up...... I'm smoking just that one and then I will leave the rest here. Oh screw it, I'll just smoke the rest of this pack and then I won't buy anymore.  Well crap,  I can't quit in the middle of the day.  I'll just get one more pack and I'll quit again tomorrow. 

 

I have been doing this for over a year.  It's gotten pathetic.  So today, I quit again and I have been thinking really hard.  What is it about cigarettes that I keep going back to them ?  Truth be told, I enjoy smoking.  I hate the way they make me feel...... but I don't relax unless I'm smoking.  It's time out for me.  I am running around all day and night tending to others that the only time I have time for me is when I am smoking. 

 

And I'm scared.  Scared that I will never feel that calm that y'all talk about.  I get so full of anxiety when I stop smoking, I think..... well y'all don't have this problem, no wonder you feel peace. I won't ever get that cause if I don't smoke, I have no clue how to unwind. 

 

I don't disagree that knowledge is power and that education is the key, but there is an emotional tie I have to puffing away that is the hardest thing for me to overcome.  Somewhere, somehow though, I am going to have to make a committment. Truly decide which direction I want to go and commit to it.

 

And I WANT to quit smoking.  I want to be able to breathe again without struggling and I want to set an example for my son and for myself.  I know I can do this.  I just have to be willing to do whatever it takes to get there (SoberJulie said that once and I really really like that).  So here I am again..... feeling embarrassed and silly. But I am not going to give up.  I want to quit smoking.  I really really do.  I'm getting worried I have done so much damage now that I can't undo.  But I can at least give my poor body a chance to try and undo maybe some of it.  I don't want to die sooner than I should.  I deserve more than that.

[sharonsiff]

You sound just like I used to feel Tiffany....I haven't got the magic formula....or the magic words (if only) but I do know this Tiffany you really are more than capable of doing this. What motivated me (to overcome my emotional tie) was to dig deep and trust the millions of other who had stopped smoking and were living very happy, carefree lives. They were everywhere.

 

Like you say you deserve to be smoke free Tiffany.

 

Hold your head high, no need to be embarrassed, I mean so what if you have many failed quits behind you....who cares!...who the hell is anyone to judge, no one here would....I'd bet money on that!

 

Tiffany why don't you start a blog? It really might help to release your days feelings from your head?

 

I've quit already but would gladly be your quit buddy if you want one, if that would help? Up to you and I am in no way offended if you decline....you do what you gotta do. I can imagine Julie being a good buddy for you also, as you mentioned her so you seem to relate to her.

 

I saw your Nope pledge today Tiffany, today is the first day of the rest of your smoke free life...excellent start ;)

[El Bandito]

Hey Tiffany! Good to hear from you again.

 

Welcome Back.

 

What a fantastic post! There is not a single person who read that who didn't have at least a fleeting romantic thought.."Spring is here, sitting on the back porch, relaxing with a cigarette - recounting the triumphs of the day...ahhhhh".....I can taste it.... 

 

Do me a favour.

 

Go sit on the Porch. Get comfy. Take some tea, or a beer or a lemonade. Take a deep breath. Look around you. Let your eyes drink in the signs of Spring. TASTE the air. The clean fresh air. Think about all the reasons that you are a better you without a cigarette. Smile. No - I mean it, just smile. Just have 5 minutes to smell, taste, enjoy the world around you.

 

Tiff - have you read The Easyway to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr? If you have not - I think that maybe it will help. If you have. Read it again.

 

I think that we all romanticised the cigarette. It is essential. After all - we are smart people. We would not intentionally kill ourselves by smoking UNLESS we enjoyed it would we? We had to convince ourselves that we enjoyed it, otherwise we were just plain stooooopid.

 

The truth is;

 

We are not stupid.

We never enjoyed a cigarette.

 

We are addicted

The addiction NEEDS us to pretend we enjoyed a cigarette - 'COS that how it gets more nicotine!

 

You are a hard-working Mom, with a busy stressful life. You need a time out, you need a reward for everything you do.

 

You should have all of those things. 

 

Quitting smoking will put money in your pocket.

Quitting smoking will put time into your day.

Quitting smoking will free you to reward yourself how you want to reward yourself - not how some addiction wants to.

 

But Tiffany please get your head around this..

 

You enjoy removing the withdrawal pangs that you suffer as a smoker. These pangs will only go forever if you quit smoking.

 

You enjoy taking time for yourself, you enjoy relaxing, you enjoy a chat - YOU WILL ENJOY these things MORE without a cigarette.

 

You never really enjoyed rolling up some leaves, sticking them in your mouth and lighting them...you enjoyed relieving the withdrawal pangs and you enjoyed the things that you associated with 'having a smoke'.

 

You are right. You should make the commitment and just do it. - But I strongly suspect that you need to truly understand that you never really enjoyed a cigarette, by quitting - you are not depriving yourself - you are freeing yourself.

 

Trust me.

 

It is a well known fact that men in skirts do not tell lies.

[rww]

Once I had a two week quit going which wasn't much, but I felt great about it and didn't really miss cigarettes, so I got overconfident and decided that me and my partner both could have a "treat" on a weekend trip. Then I started smoking only on weekends, or only when drinking (which of course happened more frequently) for some time and was back to being a full blown 1-2 packs a day smoker. Such overconfidence, feeling too safe is dangerous. But the truth is - we don't want just a test, we just subconsciously find a way we can justify smoking to ourselves.

 

I had the junkie saying those things in my head yesterday, when we went out to the movies and drinks after with some aquintances. I just kept thinking, "just one". Thankfully, I didn't, I know I would have regreted it, but it's always like that. In the morning I wrote a post about me realising all those lies we tell ourselves are such bs. I felt too comfortable with my quit. I have already braved most out the outside world and situations as a non smoker, I thought a movie and a bar wouldn't be a big deal, and I was wrong. And unprepared. And any other time I probably would have made the mistake to have just one.

[El Bandito]

RWW - so true too!

[sharonsiff]

RWW I would have made that mistake in the past too.

 

I know it's all very 'wise after the event' but the frustrating thing for me is I was confusing a thought, with a crave. All seemed the same at the time but I can look back now and see the difference so crystal clear. That in itself has set me free mentally, thankfully.

 

I used to think because I got a 'thought' it meant I would always feel this way, be a smoker...so the vicious cycle would begin again.

[robf]

I can have 'just one' without re-engaging an addition, however, it's not as straight forward as that. Historically I have had quits where I've had 'just one'... a couple of months later had 'just one... or two' a few months after that had 'just one'... at no point did I get cravings for more, the just ones were when I was out with friends having a drink or seven.

 

What's the big deal? Well, it gets easier to have those 'just one', and more frequent... Still not addicted but hey... F You, I'm having a smoke! Until you realise you aren't simply stealing the odd smoke here and there you're actually buying your own... And smoking on your own... And you're addicted again... And not just smoking when you're drunk and talking about (or indeed have become) artificial turf.

 

So this time round I made new rules for myself, no smokes at all... (well... unless they are 'special' ones that are somewhat frowned upon in the eyes of the law, I'm 40... this hardly ever happens, I had 2 on my 40th Birthday!)

 

So over a year later I'm still going well. Do I miss the smoking with friends? Occasionally... But do I have a smoke... No... Do I still get drunk enough to impersonate artificial turf... Yes.

[beacon]

Smoking one would not do it for me. I am an all or nothing kind of gal. Lately if I get a craving, I think of the cig as taking away something of value from me, like my new ability tto run longer and faster, or my pink complexion. I ask myself if I am willing to give all this up to smoke again.

[El Bandito]

I believe that there are people out there who quit by willpower. They deny themselves a cigarette which they believe that they enjoy.

 

Some do it for years at a time.

 

I can't prove it - but I think that quitting must be quite a grind for those people. 

 

I KNOW (or believe - comes down to the same thing) that the only thing that a cigarette gave me was the relief of a physical withdrawal symptom. As I am no longer administering the drug - there are no symptoms to relieve. 

 

Therefore - I am missing NOTHING.

 

The only thing that a cigarette would do is make me want another one. And another. and another.

 

I don't want another cigarette. Simple.

 

I will continue to get some triggers - I trained myself for 30 years that a smoke was the punctuation of life. I have now spent a couple of months retraining...its going to take a little longer!