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Truly sick of craving a cigarette this month


Aine

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Don't know why, or if there is even a reason; just know that, while months 4 and 5 weren't bad at all, this month just sucks as far as wanting to smoke. I've been watching Joel's videos, reminding myself as to the reality rather than the delusion of my reasons, but I'm still craving maybe 15 or so times a day for the last 3 weeks or so. Just wanted to write it because down deep I don't want to be a smoker. Or, rather, I do but without any repercussions. Thus, the brain wars! My head is still trying, in spite of all evidence, to create a scenario that just doesn't exist. Will be glad when it just SHUTS UP.

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Quit listening ?  It will happen.  Addiction Sucks.

 

I used to miss the ahhhh moment I had satisfying the addiction.

 

Now that I am done with smoke, 

 

my ahhhh...satisfying and endorphin infused moments are different

 

and have a lot to do with deep breaths.  

 

Oxygen, that's the ticket.

 

Breathing with intent.  

 

Very satisfying where a smoke would no longer serve

 

and infinitely more gratifying.

 

 

You will come out on the other side of this, Aine.  I know you will.

 

Too late to turn back now.

 

Love,

S

 

 

 

 

 

 

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It seems from my own personal experience and from just noticing when people struggle on the board that at all of the quarter milestones there seems to be increased cravings. I know that 3 and 6 sucked for me. I wonder if 9 is going to be shitty too.

Also, you just went through a horrible and stressful time with comrade. I am sure that the thinking took every opportunity to creep up on you.

I'm sorry that you are having a rough time.

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Sorry you are having a crap time aine....this addiction sucks....

Keep telling yourself it will pass.....it will I promise....

Don't forget to keep your treats going....nice rewards.....

Tell that monster to do one.....your stronger than him....

You will get through it....

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Aine this is when I began to romance the cigarette around 6.5 months for a good 4 weeks or more, and I took it one step further and relapsed believe me you so don't want to go down that road, hold onto why you quit and keep reminding yourself NOPE

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Aine, I suspect that Comrad's illness has a lot to do with your desire to smoke. Might as well admit that straight out than say, "I don't know why." You're human. It hurts. You're scared. Yes, Comrad has it worse than you do, but you have a tough row to hoe, too. Be kind to yourself.

 

But situational stress is not the only factor here. I, too, have a constant desire to smoke (I'm almost 6 months quit now.) It's not at the level of a screaming crave, but I think that if someone handed me a cigarette at any time on any day, I would happily smoke it.

 

I truly envy those people who say that they just "took smoking off the table" and never again considered smoking. I only wish! But then I remember something a friend of mine told me when I first quit. She quit 20 years ago. She said that for the first 10 years she wanted a cigarette all the time. OMG, I thought!! How could anyone live with such craves all the time?! But after almost 6 months of going through the same thing, I think I understand. No, I am not craving a cigarette all the time. But I do think about them all the time. Then I think that I want to quit more than I want to smoke so I just let the feeling wash over me and go do something else. 

 

As we know, different people experience quitting different ways. Some can banish the thoughts; I can't. Too bad. But I can differentiate between serious cravings (which I couldn't handle on a regular basis) versus just wishing I could smoke (I can handle the vague wishes). I can remind myself again and again why I decided to quit in the first place (very compelling reasons). And I expect that, like my friend, day by day, week by week, month by month, I will get to 20 years and be able to look back and say, "The first 10 years were the worst." :wacko:  That's just the way my quit is for me. I have to accept that and roll with it. 

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Aine, at six months I had some big craves. One night I almost smoked when I was drunk and my friend and I , both ex smokers, began talking about smoking. Thank God there weren't any around.

 

I can agree with Sarge that the craves do basically go away. I swear that each month it gets easier. Honestly I have a harder time now dieting and craving food than I do with craving cigs .

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Cheers for the warning Aine!

 

That said there is a lot of talk round these here parts about 3 and 6 months and some reconsidering at 9 and 12. The quarter thing. 15 times a day is a lot to be coping with, that sounds pants!  I'm really sorry for you that you're getting that. I actually found last month tough so every quit is different. All I have to offer you (and I) is that we really don't want to smoke, so to actually smoke, would be the wrong move. Nowt else but to wait it out. Which sucks, but after what you've been through of late a few craves are a lesser problem unless you let them take control of you. You can choose to be stronger then that. 

 

Keeping you both in my thoughts and sending strength.

 

xx

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yes Aine I hear you, I was feeling exactly the same a few weeks ago to the point I was also getting angry, Why the F can`t I smoke dam it!!!!

 

of course we all know why, we are educated addicts now, we recognise the junky thoughts albeit it doesnt make it easier, I do believe it is connected to our emotions, you have been through a traumatic time of late and had to stay strong throughout for everyone and now things are slowing down a bit and there leaves a void and what did we normally do to avoid the void :(

 

Dont be too hard on yourself Aine, its a pain in the arse but its part of the journey you will find your peace, as hard as it was, the other day I didnt think of it at all, as quick as the storm came, the storm then passed

 

keep a hold of the rope hun, let out your anger and frustration out and try and find a distraction to fill the void anything a building project or new exercise regime anything to just distract yourself

 

keep posting and work it through, you are not alone in this xx

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