Once and for all

[tocevoD]

Been here before. Need to quit. Sitting here smoking now. Set myself a time to quit later on today. I've got my son then for the weekend and he's never seen me smoking as I don't do it when he's with me so it will give me the weekend till Sunday evening with him, not smoking.

 

The time I struggle is when he goes home. I abstain every Friday till Sunday evening and then when he goes home I go running the shop for ciggies. Im at a loose end at that point. The struggle starts then. I've got the Allen Carr motivational books. I've never listened to a podcast but am looking for a good podcast series to get into. I have a gym membership I haven't used since going full time smoking again.

 

I've had long quits in the past so the will is in there somewhere. Every single Friday he comes to my house I think that I'll carry on the quit. Sometimes I get to the Tuesday or Wednesday without having one and then I'll crash and burn and scurry to the shop. 

 

I really, really want to quit. The money, the hiding and the health are all the reasons needed. What else can be done. Ive been down the road before with a long quit. A massive quit for a few years. I need to kill this once and for all. Any tips much appreciated people.

Sorry, wrong thread. Can anyone move this to quit smoking discussions for me?

[Dejvis93]

12 minutes ago, tocevoD said:

Been here before. Need to quit. Sitting here smoking now. Set myself a time to quit later on today. I've got my son then for the weekend and he's never seen me smoking as I don't do it when he's with me so it will give me the weekend till Sunday evening with him, not smoking.

 

The time I struggle is when he goes home. I abstain every Friday till Sunday evening and then when he goes home I go running the shop for ciggies. Im at a loose end at that point. The struggle starts then. I've got the Allen Carr motivational books. I've never listened to a podcast but am looking for a good podcast series to get into. I have a gym membership I haven't used since going full time smoking again.

 

I've had long quits in the past so the will is in there somewhere. Every single Friday he comes to my house I think that I'll carry on the quit. Sometimes I get to the Tuesday or Wednesday without having one and then I'll crash and burn and scurry to the shop. 

 

I really, really want to quit. The money, the hiding and the health are all the reasons needed. What else can be done. Ive been down the road before with a long quit. A massive quit for a few years. I need to kill this once and for all. Any tips much appreciated people.

Sorry, wrong thread. Can anyone move this to quit smoking discussions for me?

I will not give any advices as I am just going through my first day. However I do understand what it feels like to fail with addiction and how much we want to be clean although running to the shop later and buy a new pack. So...I wish you all the strenght and lets post everyday here. I believe in the communicty power, we all know that nicotine addiction brings abslutely ZERO positivity and kills all thebeauty inside of us.

[DenaliBlues]

Glad to hear that you still want to quit @tocevoD. It is wonderfully liberating to step off the crazy merry-go-round of craving, caving and self-loathing. You CAN stop the madness!
 

At first, quitting feels like you’re being deprived of something and will be miserable forever - but that’s just your addict compulsion kicking up a fuss. None of it is true. Don’t let it win. Don’t buy those smokes. Stay busy with other things, stay strong, stay positive, and keep your quit! 

[Reciprocity]

Support from people quitting around the same time can be a powerful quit tool. Even though all of us quitters have been through the same struggles when quitting, it's sometimes easier to relate to that other person who is involved in the same fight as we are and at the same time.

 

Best wishes to both of you and always remember, it IS possible if you want it badly enough!

[jillar]

Glad to see you back @tocevoD, you know you can do this because you already have. When Sunday night comes and your son goes home is the time you need the most support it sounds like so come here so we can help you! Also remember your clues, have you tried my JAC air cigarette or sucking on candies? Would your ex let you have your son an extra day to break up the habit? I stopped smoking in places I normally smoked so I wouldn't associate them with smoking after I quit. Maybe that would work for your Sundays?

[jillar]

6 hours ago, tocevoD said:

. Can anyone move this to quit smoking discussions for me?

I can move this for you and merge the two if you like?

[tocevoD]

7 minutes ago, jillar said:

I can move this for you and merge the two if you like?

 

Thanks jillar. I would prefer it if it was on the Quit Smoking Discussions instead of the SOS.

[Christian99]

Welcome back, tocevoD.  It's a great idea, I think, to get back to the gym on a regular basis:  this was a crucial dimension of my own quit.  I paired that with some significant changes in my diet as well, hoping that the fitness and food would give me things in which I could actively engage and on which I could focus my attention (instead of on the thing I was ostensibly denying myself).  Another way to say this is that I began a self-improvement project centered on HEALTH, of which quitting smoking was just one (super important) part. 

 

Whatever approach you use (and, BTW, the "Ben and Jerry's Plan" is just as legitimate and noble as my more abstemious one), we know you can do it and will be cheering you on.  

 

Christian99

22+ Years Quit

[Doreensfree]

Sorry I’m not around just now , 

Just wanted to say to you both 

Hello and welcome .

You will find the best support here xx 

[tocevoD]

30 minutes ago, Doreensfree said:

Sorry I’m not around just now , 

Just wanted to say to you both 

Hello and welcome .

You will find the best support here xx 

 

This place is a great help as it has been in the past for me. I just need to harness it with my own willpower aswell. 

 

Stick with quit train, the help off the people on here is great 

[tocevoD]

I crashed and burned on the Sunday evening again. Seems to be a bit of an obstacle for me to overcome at the moment. Need to do something different this Sunday evening.

[Reciprocity]

Do you know what triggered you to smoke at that particular time? If you can identify your triggers then you can better plan to avoid them although staying quit always comes down to commitment and sometimes sheer willpower just to get past some of the most challenging times of your early quit.

Did you make sure you have no easy access to smokes when you first quit? That's a big one. You can smoke what you don't have!!

[Paul723]

What does smoking to for you on Sunday night that you can't get without smoking?  Is it a feeling that you are missing out on something?  Is it just the habit / routine?  Think hard about why you are smoking to understand what is causing you to fail your quit.  You could also ask Doreen to come hit you with a frying pan.   

[Doreensfree]

My fingers are twitching 

The only way you will quit is to fight the Demon specially in a Sunday ,.

You need to be on your extra guard then 

keep busy , come here and read , play games , shower you carnt smoke there 

chew regular gum … 

Believe in yourself , you can do it x

[DenaliBlues]

When I was still on the quitting/failing/quitting/failing merry go round, I didn’t realize that smoking made me feel worse, not better. Stepping off that cycle is hard, but you’ll be so proud of yourself when you do - and you will cherish your freedom.

 

I like your note that you will need to do something different this coming Sunday. Make a plan and stick to it. Be especially vigilant any time you are HALTed… Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. We (ab)used nicotine to take the edge off those feelings, and they can be big triggers. Quitting is a time of experimenting with new responses, not relying on smoking to pickle our feelings.

 

Try again - you CAN do this!

 

 

Edited June 13 by DenaliBlues

[tocevoD]

Thanks for all the help again people, most appreciated. I will use the stuff you have mentioned when Sunday comes round again. It's the biggest hurdle for me to overcome.

 

Something DenaliBlues said really hit home. In that having that ciggie because you think it will make you feel better and it actually makes you feel worse. So, so true.

[tocevoD]

Failed that one. Back for a more concerted stab at this.

[jillar]

Hey @tocevoD, maybe you should try coming here BEFORE you go buy smokes so we can try to help you past that initial crave because as you know, once you get past it it becomes less powerful. You can say to yourself the next time that you made it through before and you'll make it through again.

Have you tried the daily NOPE thread? That worked so well for so many of us. Its a commitment to yourself that you won't smoke for that day. I did it everyday for a whole year, maybe give that a try?

[johnny5]

@tocevoD  The cycle of quitting and relapsing, quitting and relapsing, etc. is a tough one.  I know from personal experience that, while it may be tough, quitting once and for all makes your life a whole lot better.

 

I hope you stick aroud and reach out if and when you are tempted.  There is help here.  You can definitely do this.

[DenaliBlues]

Welcome back! Glad to hear you still want to quit.

 

Have faith - success IS possible if you equip yourself for it. Throw out the smokes and don’t buy more. Post your feelings here to get them out of your head (your own judgement is clouded during withdrawal). Tap your creativity to distract yourself from cravings. You CAN step off of the addiction/failure merry go round and be free. Give it long  enough to get past the first rugged period. 

 

You can do this @tocevoD. We’re here to help!

[Doreensfree]

Hi @tocevoD, 

I’m thinking if your with the train , you really want to quit ..,

my opinion .. your doing the Okey Dokey, you have one foot in and one foot out 

My friend you need to put your whole self in .

You can do it ..you need to want it bad enough .

Its doable … we are proof ..

Lets help you get smoke free

[tocevoD]

Well, progress has been made. I got past the Sunday. I've had my son since friday evening. My final cigarette was on the Friday just gone. It was a lot easier getting through the Sunday knowing he was going to be staying with me. I've hardly thought or had any urges whilst he's been here. I've got him until the coming Sunday evening 4th August. With kicking through this Sunday then a barrier has been broken down. The Sundays were always the hardest.

[jillar]

Yay @tocevoD, I'm so glad that worked for you. ☺ 

[DenaliBlues]

@tocevoD, I’m so glad you are making headway on your quit. The first hump is the hardest one to get over, no doubt. The second test will come when your son is gone. But by then you will have proven that you can make it without the smokes. Have a plan in place to stay busy and stay smoke free. Keep up the great effort!

[Doreensfree]

Well done …

You should feel very proud , you are doing great …. Keep going