Pre Respond to your own SOS

[Molly2310]

Dear Molly,

 

your Mum died suddenly on 10th February 2013, you were not smoking at the time, it was during your 9 month quit.  
 

You quit because your mum was a heavy smoker all of your life as well as an alcoholic.  You were so worried about her, even though you were going down the same path.  She was self destructive, so were you.  You made a decision to stop smoking as the first step down a road of showing both of you that you could change.  It wasn’t in time.  You should have done it sooner, she might still be here if you had.  You started smoking again, you fool.

 

You looked after your Dad, remember?  He had stopped in 1998 when he had his leg amputated because of smoking but you carried on.  You watched him die from clogged up lungs despite having been quit for 20 years.  He was in hospital in 2021.  It took 7 days in hospital and 7 minutes in the end.

 

You have scared your brother so much since then, he has lost his parents to smoking too.  He didn’t say a word to you at the time but you saw the look in his eyes, you knew how scared he was of losing you too.
 

You know how proud he is of you, how relieved he is that he doesn’t have to watch you kill yourself too.

 

I know that you feel so alone sometimes, I know that on bad days you miss people so much that you feel like you don’t care if you die.  I know that life feels empty a lot of the time but just think a minute, remember.

 

You have had so many beautiful times lately, you have played with your nephews.  You are loved, and you love.  You will ALWAYS feel better in the morning, and you ALWAYS will.

 

Remember that every day has the potential for something good: of a smile, of a laugh, of a special kind of happiness.  Of a perfect beauty. Of nature, a song, a comedy show, a story, of a new friend, of so many things.

 

There is so much to look forward to, even if you can’t always see it.  There are days when you don’t even see the “good” until you go to bed and think, or when you wake up the next morning and recall.

 

Promise yourself that you will always wait until tomorrow before you do anything silly and regretful

 

yours Molly

Edited February 13, 2023 by Molly2310