My Smoking Addiction - Liar

[Markus]

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[Tink]

great post Markus - 

 

glad you came to your senses in the end and saw the truth

[El Bandito]

Our ability to rationalise is endless isn't it?

 

"Only a mild one" - That's the type of stuff we say.

 

The words Heart Attack should terrify us. They certainly terrify non-smokers. But us hard-men smokers - we laughed in the face of those words - "only a mild one" we say! Madness!

 

My Smoking Addiction - Liar

[TAC]

This is a post for the younger set, the 20 and 30 somethings. This is not "tough love" nor is it meant to scare off  newbies. It is simply a true story of what happened to me.

 

One of the things that is really pathetic about my smoking addiction is that it continued unchecked for 5 years after my heart attack in 2003. I was 44 years old then and had smoked for 26 years.

 

"No big deal" I reasoned (engage junkie brain), it was only a mild one, and right there on the operating table as I was undergoing an angioplasty for a stint (which was not needed), I promised the surgeon, my parents and DW "oh yes, I'll quit smoking" in agreement with that part of the proscribed treatment plan.

 

As I looked at the end of the ancillary blood vessel that was blocked and upon hearing the diagnosis that it was too small (narrow) to stint, and seeing it myself, I should have been thanking my lucky stars or praying to a higher power. But I did none of that, and in the next instant as I lay there looking at my beating heart on the scope I thought "no, I won't quit".

 

In that instant, my "lizard brain", functioning at peak efficiency had rapidly conjured up yet another lie to appease everyone (and myself), so as to get them off my back as quickly as possible. Same as it ever was.

 

It was absolutely imperative to get them out of the way and to back to what was important to me, to get shut of the hospital, the stodgy doctors and nurses as quickly as possible in order to get back to the business of smoking, which is what my life was wrapped around.

 

You can't blame me can you? I didn't know any better, my entire life revolved around smoking, and doing enough of that to satisfy my nicotine addiction.

 

In retrospect, I would describe myself at that point in time as being a self-medicating, defiant, cagey, glib, totally out control nicotine addict, and having cheated Mr. Death, I was back in the driver's seat.

 

If you insist on smoking, you may want to consider where you are going with your life, your health and look at the choices you are making. Smoking will kill you slowly, and by degrees it will eventually catch up with you, if you do it long enough.

 

I was as close to taking a dirt nap as I have ever been at that point in my life. If you are teetering on the edge, if you are smoking, or if you are quitting and craving a cigarette, you may want to think twice about it.

 

KTQ,

 

markus

 

Now that's the spirit, thanx Markus, stories like this are really good for promoting this website, Cheers!

 

And I mean no disrespect to your story, just so many wins here it's hard to keep track :huh:

[Still winning]

Means a lot to hear peoples stories. I think we take something away from every single one. Powerful words Markus. x

[babs609]

Thank you for sharing that Markus!  :)

[Melody]

Thank you for sharing, amazing how much nicotine controls our thought process. My father in law had a 90% blockage and a stint placed...still smokes. I wish he would quit, he is not invincible and smoking will kill him but he doesn't see it. He is only 60.

 

Marcus I'm glad you quit and didn't take your second chance for granted. Thank you for paying it forward and helping others.

[MarylandQuitter]

Man, if that story doesn't wake you up.  Even if it doesn't, sometime down the road a smoker teetering on whether to quit or not, will remember this and quit.  Even if just one remembers, it's a life saved.  My guess is that it's going to make a lasting impression on those who need to quit and those of who have and to not relapse.

 

Good stuff, Markus.

[Nicole Diver]

Means a lot to hear peoples stories. I think we take something away from every single one. Powerful words Markus. x

+1

[sharonsiff]

Brilliant post Markus....it reaches out to people....a cyber version of 'come on, I'll hold your hand if you need me to'...just what folk might need at times.

[babs609]

[Chrysalis]

Great post, Markus. Thanks for the bump, Babs!

[Markus]

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[Tyme2B]

It has been almost 12 years ago this month. It happened in February 2003. I was walking to my car, having just gotten off work, when a hammer shot hit me in the chest hard enough to make me wince. Damn that hurt! I was 45 years old at the time, and had been a smoker for about 25 years give or take a couple. It would be another 5 years before I quit. Denial isn't just a river in Egypt... ^_^

[Tyme2B]

Thanks for sharing Markus.....people's personal experiences are so stirring...I never want to smoke again

[Markus]

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[Gabby]

Thank you for sharing, your post means a lot to me and they always help me too.

[Markus]

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