Hello

[johnny5]

I'm sorry to hear this Susie.  I hope you do not give up.  A lot of people do struggle early on.  I did not quit on my first attempt either.

 

I do hope you start a quit again soon.  We are here to support you.

 

[Reciprocity]

I understand you feel bad right now and feel you let yourself  down maybe but don't be too hard on yourself becaue quitting is a process and sometimes it takes multiple tries to get it right. The most important bit is that you learned something from this quit attempt; in fact, you learned a lot!!

 

Gather those thoughts around you next time you decide to give it a go and don't forget us all here. We will still be here to lend support whenever you're ready.

 

Edited January 28 by Reciprocity

[jillar]

Bummed to see this @susie14 but not surprised. I remember people telling me at your age not to pick up smoking because it was bad for me and I didn't believe them and wanted to be cool. Fast forward 35 years and I quit because I literally couldn't breathe well enough to walk down the street. Now my life is attached to a 50 foot oxygen hose. Not to mention what it's done to my teeth and gums. In hindsight I wish I had of listened to those wise people way back then. Please don't be me..........................................

 

[susie14]

Thank you everyone for the support. I won't give up trying!

[Christian99]

Hi Susie--

 

I'll disagree with some of the advice you've received and the impressions you've drawn about NRT (even if one begins a quit without it).  It is a valuable tool used by many quitters, and it is simply not true that quit outcomes are worse or the experience is somehow more challenging when this tool is used.  Please consider quitting again soon, and think about what other tools/approaches (including NRT) you'll utilize this next time.  I used the gum, wellbutrin, and daily exercise.

 

We know you can do it!

 

Christian99

22+ Years Quit

 

 

[Brioski]

Don’t be hard on yourself Susie It happens and like Denali said it’s a process. Denali you also had an amazing post, I forget where, about the shame we cast on ourselves with struggling to quit, its really a beautiful post/read, I’ll try to find it for you Susie. But gf don’t stop trying, I too had problems w breathing started when I was 37. It just sucks and within hours your body starts repairs on itself and life becomes different - way way better different.  We’re here for u either way

[Brioski]

 You’re a smart and poetic cookie, Denali! 

[Gus]

Really late in welcoming you to our quit family, Susie. It’s a great thing that you have decided to quit smoking though. It’s a tough go for awhile but totally doable. The nicotine is already out of your system so you don’t want to reintroduce it if at all possible, so I would avoid NRT if at all possible, but don’t feel belittled if you feel that you need it. The time to prepare for overcoming the craves you will experience as you return to school is now though. Avoid the areas you smoked as much as possible, have something to pop into your mouth and to keep your hands occupied accessible, drink plenty of water, and breathe. Slow and deep cleansing breaths. The longer you can exhale the better! And by all means get on this site and SOS us if you need to. We are here for you!

[susie14]

Thank you @Gus. I think from reading what you said that you think I'm still not smoking. But unfortunately I am. I felt so horrible by day 3 and started again. There is no way I could have gone to school today feeling how I did. But I'm not going to stop trying. I learnt a lot about myself and I'm going to try again. I didn't use any NRTs.

 

I think I either need to use them or have more time when I don't have to go to school. But if I do use them I don't want to use them for long. I'm still thinking about what to do and when I will do it but I am determined to quit.

 

The help here is amazing and I know I can do it!

[Christian99]

Good to hear that you're still committed to a smoke free future, Susie!  The one thing I'll note is to be careful about placing too much emphasis on a "better" time to quit:  most of us have found that any time one chooses has its (sometimes profound) challenges, and waiting for the right time can sometimes be an unconscious avoidance strategy.  It will suck whenever you do it (and it will probably still suck with NRTs), but it will be so worth it.

 

C99     

[QuittingGirl]

On 1/26/2024 at 6:55 PM, susie14 said:

Hi everyone. I've been on the site for a few weeks but I finally decided to quit. I smoked my last cigarette last night. I'm not feeling very good today but I knew that would happen. I hope I can keep going.

 

I didn't want to post here but someone convinced me that it would help

Hi Susie,  So glad you decided to quit!  I know it's not an easy decision and it's quite scary with all sorts of emotions going through your head.  I am a relative newbie here as I am only 8 months quit, although this is my 2nd and last time that I quit smoking.  The last time I was quit for 6 years.  Anyway, the people on this forum are amazing and will help you get through it so just ask for help when you need it.  They helped me tremendously and I am very happy to call them my friends! They will listen to you complain about the urges and just about anything else because they have all been through it.  So keep close to the "train" and it's "riders" and you will do just fine!!

[QuittingGirl]

18 hours ago, susie14 said:

Thank you @Gus. I think from reading what you said that you think I'm still not smoking. But unfortunately I am. I felt so horrible by day 3 and started again. There is no way I could have gone to school today feeling how I did. But I'm not going to stop trying. I learnt a lot about myself and I'm going to try again. I didn't use any NRTs.

 

I think I either need to use them or have more time when I don't have to go to school. But if I do use them I don't want to use them for long. I'm still thinking about what to do and when I will do it but I am determined to quit.

 

The help here is amazing and I know I can do it!

 

I know it's very difficult, the cravings are terrible, we all know exactly what you are going through!!  What I found that helped me is taking a cinnamon stick and holding it like a cigarette and sucking on it, making believe I was smoking plus the taste of the cinnamon was nice.  You can also use cut up straws.  Even if you need NRT's then why don't you use them?  You have to use whatever will help you.  The urges will get less and less as time goes on, I can promise you that.  I was a basket case the first couple of months.  I was acting absolutely horrible to my husband and family that I was insane!  It was a terrible time but I got through it and you can too, you really can!!  Just keep coming on here and vent to us, we are here to help you!  Whatever your triggers are for smoking, try and get away from them.  For example, after I would eat, I would go outside and light up a cigarette.  In the beginning of my quit, I would do something else, anything that is different from what I would do when I did smoke. After a while you won't even remember that you wanted a cigarette.  You can definitely do this Susie!!!

[Doreensfree]

Susie,hello again ..

I’ve always said ….All roads lead to Rome …a old saying ..

This means ..Rome is Freedom …and you have to do anything to get there ..

NRT has helped a lot of folk arrive at Freedom…

As long as you follow the plan ..this is important …

Your lungs are probably still developing…once they are damaged there is no going back ..

Most of us here have sad horror stories of watching or suffering from the damage cigarettes have done ..

You can quit …xx

Edited January 30 by Doreensfree

[susie14]

I just want to explain a bit more about myself. I think my situation is different to a lot of people.

 

Hardly anyone actually knows I smoke. My best friend knows and she wants me to quit too. Some of my other friends have asked me about it because it's hard to cover it up completely but I always deny it and say the smell must be from my mom. I don't smoke while I'm at school. It's mostly just at home. I usually smoke a few cigarettes before school and then a lot after school when I get home. I'm used to going all day at school without one. I thought that would make it easier to quit. I get cravings in the afternoon but I can handle those. I also haven't been smoking for as long as most people but I did start when I was very young. I didn't start because of peer pressure or anything. I was just on my own. And it happened at a very difficult time for my mom and me. I started before covid and increased a lot during the lockdowns when I was at home.

 

I know everyone says to work out my triggers and avoid them. But I don't think I have ones like most people do. I do smoke when I’m doing homework so I suppose that’s one. I’ve been trying not to do that. I can't say I hate smoking because actually I don't. I enjoy it. But I also don't want to be a smoker. I want to quit before it affects my health. And I hate trying to cover it up all the time. Especially around boys lol.

 

When I first thought about quitting I read an article about how bad secondhand smoke was for kids because lungs aren’t fully developed until you are much older. It made me cry because I’ve been breathing smoke directly into my lungs since I was 9!!! I hope I haven’t already done too much damage to my body. There’s nothing I can do about that now but I know the sooner I quit the better. So far I haven’t noticed any problems with my breathing. I play sports during summer so I think I’m quite fit. Maybe that helps. But I did get very sick when I had covid and I had a cough that lasted for a long time. I don’t know if that was worse because I smoke but it’s possible. My friends who had it didn’t get very sick.

 

After reading a lot of information on here I was already expecting it to be difficult to quit. But I thought I could handle it. I had no idea I would feel as bad as I did. After a couple of days I just couldn't cope. I cried a lot. I had a headache all the time. My lungs felt horrible. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't sit still. At the time I thought I was the only one who had to go through that. But I know everyone goes through similar stuff. It was definitely much worse than I expected though. So I'm now just trying to work out how I can deal with everything better next time.

 

My main plan to distract myself was to do a lot of exercise because that always takes my mind off smoking. But the weather wasn't great so I couldn't go outside much. And I also felt so bad, especially with the headache, that I couldn't make myself do anything anyway. I did have things like candies and other stuff to eat. I don’t like cinnamon much so that’s not so good. I made an air cigarette which helped sometimes. I didn't use gum or lozenges or patches because I know it's going to slow down my quit. But I think next time I'm going to try it. Maybe just for the first few days. It might just help enough so I can do the other things like exercise. I know some people don’t agree with doing that but I think stopping smoking has to be most important thing. I read that post about Ellen getting addicted to lozenges so I want to be careful.

 

I love that everyone is so understanding on here. I didn’t even want to post anything at the start because I was worried what people would think of me. But I know now that everyone just wants me to quit. I really do appreciate everyone's support and ideas and suggestions. But at the same time it's been very overwhelming for me. Trying to work everything out in my head has been hard.

 

Anyway that was a stupidly long post lol. Sorry! I am determined to do this. I'm going to do this! I just need to work out what’s gonna work.

 

[Reciprocity]

44 minutes ago, susie14 said:

I just want to explain a bit more about myself. I think my situation is different to a lot of people.

 

Hardly anyone actually knows I smoke. My best friend knows and she wants me to quit too. Some of my other friends have asked me about it because it's hard to cover it up completely but I always deny it and say the smell must be from my mom. I don't smoke while I'm at school. It's mostly just at home. I usually smoke a few cigarettes before school and then a lot after school when I get home. I'm used to going all day at school without one. I thought that would make it easier to quit. I get cravings in the afternoon but I can handle those. I also haven't been smoking for as long as most people but I did start when I was very young. I didn't start because of peer pressure or anything. I was just on my own. And it happened at a very difficult time for my mom and me. I started before covid and increased a lot during the lockdowns when I was at home.

 

I know everyone says to work out my triggers and avoid them. But I don't think I have ones like most people do. I do smoke when I’m doing homework so I suppose that’s one. I’ve been trying not to do that. I can't say I hate smoking because actually I don't. I enjoy it. But I also don't want to be a smoker. I want to quit before it affects my health. And I hate trying to cover it up all the time. Especially around boys lol.

 

When I first thought about quitting I read an article about how bad secondhand smoke was for kids because lungs aren’t fully developed until you are much older. It made me cry because I’ve been breathing smoke directly into my lungs since I was 9!!! I hope I haven’t already done too much damage to my body. There’s nothing I can do about that now but I know the sooner I quit the better. So far I haven’t noticed any problems with my breathing. I play sports during summer so I think I’m quite fit. Maybe that helps. But I did get very sick when I had covid and I had a cough that lasted for a long time. I don’t know if that was worse because I smoke but it’s possible. My friends who had it didn’t get very sick.

 

After reading a lot of information on here I was already expecting it to be difficult to quit. But I thought I could handle it. I had no idea I would feel as bad as I did. After a couple of days I just couldn't cope. I cried a lot. I had a headache all the time. My lungs felt horrible. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't sit still. At the time I thought I was the only one who had to go through that. But I know everyone goes through similar stuff. It was definitely much worse than I expected though. So I'm now just trying to work out how I can deal with everything better next time.

 

My main plan to distract myself was to do a lot of exercise because that always takes my mind off smoking. But the weather wasn't great so I couldn't go outside much. And I also felt so bad, especially with the headache, that I couldn't make myself do anything anyway. I did have things like candies and other stuff to eat. I don’t like cinnamon much so that’s not so good. I made an air cigarette which helped sometimes. I didn't use gum or lozenges or patches because I know it's going to slow down my quit. But I think next time I'm going to try it. Maybe just for the first few days. It might just help enough so I can do the other things like exercise. I know some people don’t agree with doing that but I think stopping smoking has to be most important thing. I read that post about Ellen getting addicted to lozenges so I want to be careful.

 

I love that everyone is so understanding on here. I didn’t even want to post anything at the start because I was worried what people would think of me. But I know now that everyone just wants me to quit. I really do appreciate everyone's support and ideas and suggestions. But at the same time it's been very overwhelming for me. Trying to work everything out in my head has been hard.

 

Anyway that was a stupidly long post lol. Sorry! I am determined to do this. I'm going to do this! I just need to work out what’s gonna work.

 

I'm glad you posted this @susie14! It helps the rest of us understand where your head is at both with smoking and trying to quit.

 

Let me clarify something for you about using NRT's ... no one here is saying "don't use them". We were discouraging you from starting to use them two days in because one more day and the nicotine would have been out of your body so starting then would have been a step backward. If you think they will help next time, by all means give them a try when you start your quit. Just be aware, they may help to suppress the cravings a little in the early days but they do not make it any easier to quit longer term. The longer term challenge with quitting is learning to live your daily life without smoking at the times when you're used to smoking right now. There's no way to rush that. It just takes time. Rinse & repeat, rinse & repeat on and on, over and over until it's just normal not to smoke during the times you used to smoke. During that process the cravings to smoke and most all the quit symptoms will fade away slowly be steadily.

 

Give some concentrated thought to when you smoke. Do you smoke when you first wake up in the morning? Do you usually smoke after a meal? Do you smoke when you're happy about something? Do you smoke when you're under stress? Identifying when you're likely to smoke will help you to understand when you really have to focus on not lighting up. Triggers can often come along after finishing a task - homework perhaps in your case or some other chore you might regularly do. All these subtle little things that trigger our brains to crave a smoke are the things you need to find a distraction for when they crop up once you've quit. It's really a matter of getting through these normal everyday functions without smoking and repeating that over and over again until it starts to become normal for you again not to be triggered to smoke when those circumstances come up in your daily life.

 

Maybe start keeping a log of what's going on when you smoke. What time of day, what has happened just before you lit one up. What your emotions are at the time you light up. Was it a function you were performing or an emotion you were feeling? Just write stuff down each time you light up until you start to see a pattern. That will help you to understand when you have to be most on guard next time you quit. 

 

You sound committed to getting it done and that's a GREAT start! You know you can rely on many people here for support & help along the way. We all want what you want - to be smoke free!!

[jillar]

2 hours ago, susie14 said:

I think my situation is different to a lot of people

 

We all thought that Susie, it's your addiction talking. You'll realize that once you've been quit for a good length of time.

We also thought we were hiding smoking but you'll see that once you quit your sense of smell and taste come back within days and you will see just how strong stale smoke can be. I was shocked and embarrassed by how bad I must have smelled to non smokers.

Reci's post has great advice for you and I agree about the NRTs.

Just out of curiosity how are you able to buy cigarettes at your age? Here in California there's all kinds of steep fines as well as suspension of their license to sell them. 

Edited January 31 by jillar

[Reciprocity]

It's so true what Jillar said about the smell of stale smoke on a person to people who don't smoke!

I never realized this until I was quit for a few months. Someone walked in from outside and walked close by me. I could small him before I even saw him. I was shocked and also embarrassed at the same time because that was me for years and years and I never had a clue what others were thinking when I walked by them. I couldn't smell what they smelled on ME because I was a smoker!

[Mona]

4 hours ago, susie14 said:

Anyway that was a stupidly long post lol. Sorry! I am determined to do this. I'm going to do this! I just need to work out what’s gonna work.

 

There is nothing stupid about your post and there is absolutely nothing to apologize for.  Post away.  We all know how hard quitting can be and how emotional it can get.  Everyone is here to help you.

[Mona]

p. s.  Looking forward to you executing your plan, whatever it may be!  

[Brioski]

Don’t ever be sorry for posting Susie!! It helps you, it helps us understand you, it just helps all around lol.  
my parents both smoked, inside, so I had secondhand smoke from a baby up until I moved out at 19 and by then I was smoking too.  I never had problems with breathing stuff until by 30s (even that’s young though), but I did develop all sorts of health stuff in my 20s that I now know is related to smoking…high bp, high sugar, bad reflux, and list goes on. 
With your triggers you def have them but prob don’t notice. It may help u write them down almost like a food journal but w cigs.  I’m sorry but I was smiling when u listed off your withdrawals bc I literally had the same exact ones. I cried so much my eyes were swollen for months I’m not kidding . I even was having so much trouble breathing and you’d think that gets better after u stop right, we’ll, not for me at first. (Now I’m good but still short of breath sometimes). 
Believe it or not, you’re doing great already bc the want to quit is a great first step. You can do it gf we’re cheering for ya

[susie14]

Thanks everyone. I think I'm slowly starting to understand everything a lot better now. I do understand that NRTs are not going to suddenly make everything easy but I hope they help at the start. After reading your posts I now realize that I do have triggers. You're right I just didn't see them before. I will definitely start keeping track of when I smoke and work out what my triggers are and think about how to change. I usually smoke as soon as I wake up but I did try to stop doing that before I tried to quit by coming on here first and not smoking while I'm here. That was working until I started smoking again. But there are lots of other times that I need to understand too. I also now realize why my friends can tell I smoke. I thought I was covering it up well but they can probably still smell it even if I can't.

Edited January 31 by susie14

[susie14]

@Brioski It's good to know I'm not the only one who had those withdrawal feelings. After reading everyone's health stories I'm glad I decided to do this now. It keeps making me sad when I read those stories but it does make me more determined.  Hopefully I can still avoid any major health problems. 

[Doreensfree]

First let me say Sweetheart, I’m so glad you have stayed and not just disappeared to carry on smoking ..

I smoked 52 years …from the age of 11…I don’t know how many times I tried to quit …Hundreds ..

What made this quit different ….there is nothing wrong with my lungs …No…

I was told …lose the cigs or lose the feet …amputation. …my ankles were black …anyway ..I was scared enough to come here and try again ..

Wow did my body go into overload …every symptoms of nicotine withdrawal I got and more …

But I knew I just had to deal with it …so I did ..I fought ..I came here a lot …even through the night when I couldn’t sleep..

members assured me I would feel better …I thought ..never …

Well..I did …before I reached the lido deck ..I knew I was a non smoker…

you carnt hide the smell…I still cringe at the thought of all the Hugs I give out …as a stinky smoker …

Understanding this addiction and knowing what you will feel  with withdrawals ,and using tools to get you through will help..

Knowledge is power … ..

Im rooting for you Susie xx

 

[QuittingGirl]

2 hours ago, Doreensfree said:

First let me say Sweetheart, I’m so glad you have stayed and not just disappeared to carry on smoking ..

I smoked 52 years …from the age of 11…I don’t know how many times I tried to quit …Hundreds ..

What made this quit different ….there is nothing wrong with my lungs …No…

I was told …lose the cigs or lose the feet …amputation. …my ankles were black …anyway ..I was scared enough to come here and try again ..

Wow did my body go into overload …every symptoms of nicotine withdrawal I got and more …

But I knew I just had to deal with it …so I did ..I fought ..I came here a lot …even through the night when I couldn’t sleep..

members assured me I would feel better …I thought ..never …

Well..I did …before I reached the lido deck ..I knew I was a non smoker…

you carnt hide the smell…I still cringe at the thought of all the Hugs I give out …as a stinky smoker …

Understanding this addiction and knowing what you will feel  with withdrawals ,and using tools to get you through will help..

Knowledge is power … ..

Im rooting for you Susie xx

 

 

Doreen and all of the other people on here that have quit for many years are the best people Susie!! Listen to them!  I know I'm just a newbie, sort of, as I quit before for 6 years!! This time it's for good!  Susie, smoking is horrible!  You are still so young, you can give it up!!  I started smoking when I was a bit older than you, at 17.... but, please quit!! As a young woman, it will be the best thing for your health!  You have your whole life ahead of you! I started smoking when I was 17 which was 47 years ago, and many others have been smoking almost as long as me, or longer!!  Don't smoke Susie!! It's a horrible habit!! I know it's so difficult in the beginning and many times I just wanted to crawl in a hole and cry and smoke, but I got through it!  I got through it because of the people on THIS FORUM!!!  They are amazing people and they have become my friends.  They have helped me so much!  Susie, please stick around and let us help you!! 
 

[overcome]

I had built quiting up in my mind so much that I thought it was going to be impossible and the withdrawls would kill me. I too had some NRT's (just in case) but not needed. 

Turned out, the withdrawls weren't as bad as I thought, tough, but doable, I did take a week off work for the battle. Alan Carr talks about this overwhelming feeling in his book. I read the book as I was trying to quit, your supposed to read the book and then quit lol.

 

I have no doubt in the near future you will be free from this terrible .. horrific addiction, you seem very wise and determined. 

All the best!

Edited February 1 by overcome