My Grandfather, the addict...

[Ladybug]

I never met my Grandfather, but I heard a lot about him. He died way too young; 3 months before I was born, but he knew about me and he was looking forward to meet me...I met him later.

 

My Grandma told me many stories about him, it felt like I got to meet him after all. Some anecdotes were really humorous and made me laugh; others showed a man of strengths and great wisdom. He was a good husband and a good father; he provided for the family and like so many back then, he had to become a soldier and had to leave home.

 

He fought in WWII, survived and was captured and became a POW (prisoner of war) for a few years, until he was send back home.

 

Like so many, he came back as a changed man to a changed homeland. Everything was destroyed, money was tight or non-existing. The farm was still intact, but there was no livestock left, the fields were overgrown and everything was pretty much in ruins and they had to start re-building.

 

My Grandfather, who never smoked before, came back as a heavy smoker. According to him and others, they started smoking because tobacco was always around; the same could not be said about food. Right from the start food rations got smaller and smaller and the hours in between meals got longer and longer. Rolling cigarettes and smoking was part of dealing with hunger and just a part of being a soldier -back then.

He came back home and there was Grandmother waiting for him. She was so glad to have him back but she was not pleased about his smoking habit. 

 

Money was tight and needed to be used for other things, tobacco was not in the budget. She pampered him and let him smoke for about two months and then they had  "the talk". They were in the barn and she told him “we can’t afford the tobacco you have to quit smoking, we need the money for food and for the farm” and so he did.

 

He stopped smoking the next day and never rolled another one…he just quit, walked away -just like that.

 

By now I researched enough about addictions and addicts to know that they are different kinds of addictions and people react differently to an addictive substance. Some can abuse alcohol, drugs or Nicotine for years and years…and then they just stop, turn around and walk away.

 

Others will try to stop over and over. They fight so hard and they relapse...again and again. They cry and scream; they lie and find excuses to just have just “one more”. I witnessed it, I watched people trying to find loopholes, so that a relapse would sound “logical” at least to them. They fight the fight of a lifetime and they struggle so much. I never understood it. It was so easy for me, what's the big deal?

 

But...why was so easy for me? I tried to find an explanation and I thought about my Grandfather. 

 

I think addiction is a very complex subject and we don't know enough about it -yet. We just hit the tip of the iceberg, but there is so much more hidden underneath.

Was I lucky and could walk away just the same way my Grandfather did, because I inherited his strengths? Is the way I reacted in my genes, in my roots? An inherited behavior pattern?

 

I know one thing for sure, I can't go around telling people that is is easy, just because it was fairly easy for me. We are all different and we all have different fights. 

 

Well, maybe I should just say "Thanks Grandpa"!

 

 

 

[Jenny]

Great post LB.  I always marvel at the folks who can take it or leave it.  I have a sister that walked away from smoking like that as well.  I didn't have the same experience as she did, but I did get the same results.  It's hard I think sometimes to remember that everyone's journey is different and that your individual experience cannot be used as the measure for everyone else.  I love that we have quitters here from all across the spectrum.  From the "Easy Peasy Lemon Breezy" to the "OMG this is the hardest thing I have ever done".  A little something for everyone to relate to.  That's what keeps it real. :)

[Nicole Diver]

Love this post.

They tell us, and they tell us, and they tell us that it's too hard to quit.

My first three quits I believed them.

This time, I did not.  And my quit stuck.

[Devil Doll]

Ladybug I can't tell you enough how great it is to read you again. I have missed your wonderful posts. 

[action]

Love this!!

[sgt.barney]

Easy Peasy!

[Ladybug]

Easy Peasy!

 

Still running around trying to preach “Easy Peasy”  LOL? Like a horse wearing blinders, so it can’t see left and right. But just because it can’t see it, doesn't mean it isn't there!

[MarylandQuitter]

Still running around trying to preach “Easy Peasy”  LOL? Like a horse wearing blinders, so it can’t see left and right. But just because it can’t see it, doesn't mean it isn't there!

 

Quitting smoking for some people is easy while for others it's terribly difficult.  Although the law of addiction is much the same for all of us, our life circumstances, feelings, outlook and other characteristics play such a huge role in our quits which makes it easy, hard and everything else within the scale.

 

These differences are what makes a support group so conducive to success.  I know many people who had very easy quits while for others it was torture yet they were no more or less addicted than anybody else.  Chances are very high that whatever someone may be going through their are a few members who know exactly what they're going through and are able to reach them on a level where perhaps others cannot.

 

In other words, the more the merrier.  :)

[sgt.barney]

Still running around trying to preach “Easy Peasy”  LOL? Like a horse wearing blinders, so it can’t see left and right. But just because it can’t see it, doesn't mean it isn't there!

Illogical (non) argument is illogical.

 

Case in point: because "it"'s there, doesn't mean "it" has to be. Sarge once dragged 22 pounds of gear to the bottom of The Grand Canyon that were never used. It didn't have to be there.

 

Neither does the baggage of a difficult quit.

 

If one wants to make quitting difficult ... then it will certainly be difficult.

 

If one wants to make quitting easy, then it can be so.

 

The Sarge says again:

 

Easy Peasy!

 

 

HINT: Sarge sees it, and can only shake his head when folks TRY REAL HARD (RINGO) to make things difficult when they don't have to be.

[Dar]

:)  So true!

[SanDar]

:)  So true!

Welcome Dar - I don't believe we've met :)

[LucyThai]

This is a very heart warming post, thank you for taking the time to write it. I really enjoyed it.

[babs609]

Loved reading your story LB....very cool.

 

Personally I don't believe one person is stronger than the other...i don't.  I think it's a matter of accepting "what is" 

 

Those that find it "easy peasy"  accept the fact that they are non smokers..no matter what...they just don't take a puff.  There is no loopholes...there are no excuses.  That's it.

 

Frankly...if i was a newbie and came to the board and saw everyone stating how hard it is and how it takes a special kind of person to find it easy and they are just stronger people and it's in their genes...I would probably be discouraged.

 

I think it's awesome to have that variety..and I for one and very thankful for the Sarge and those that feel that quitting is "easy peasy".  They make newbies think "i want that, i wanna feel like that and if that guy can have that mindset, so can I!"

 

Keep it simple....easy peasy 

 

:)

[Ladybug]

Loved reading your story LB....very cool.

 

Personally I don't believe one person is stronger than the other...i don't.  I think it's a matter of accepting "what is" 

 

Those that find it "easy peasy"  accept the fact that they are non smokers..no matter what...they just don't take a puff.  There is no loopholes...there are no excuses.  That's it.

 

Frankly...if i was a newbie and came to the board and saw everyone stating how hard it is and how it takes a special kind of person to find it easy and they are just stronger people and it's in their genes...I would probably be discouraged.

 

I think it's awesome to have that variety..and I for one and very thankful for the Sarge and those that feel that quitting is "easy peasy".  They make newbies think "i want that, i wanna feel like that and if that guy can have that mindset, so can I!"

 

Keep it simple....easy peasy 

 

:)

 

You are right Babs, we should keep it simple (here) and we should not tell people that fighting an addiction could be hard. No more discussions or questions about the complex subject "addiction". Easy Peasy all the way, no more discouragement!

[El Bandito]

Lovely post LB.

 

I see no conflict here at all. "Easy Peasy" never rang true with me in the past. But it does now.

 

1. It certainly works as an affirmation. "I can do this"

2. It is a statement of fact. the nicotine addiction is EASY to beat. (I say this as a quitter, a lapsed quitter in the past and a long term smoker) - the nicotine is easy, the SMOKING IS hard - because we make it so...

 

I quit smoking. Actually I used to quit smoking every day when I went to bed.

 

quitting being a SMOKER - that was tough...until I realised that I could do it.

 

Easy Peasy

[babs609]

You are right Babs, we should keep it simple (here) and we should not tell people that fighting an addiction could be hard. No more discussions or questions about the complex subject "addiction". Easy Peasy all the way, no more discouragement!

We should say how we feel. Post about our own experiences because that's what people want to hear. Sarge had it easy peasy. Should he not post about it? Should he pretend it was hard for him, even though it wasn't? I'm having a hard time figuring out what the "anti easy peasy" folks want him to say.

 

Speaking of easy quits...you always say you had an easy quit. Why do you tell people how hard it could be when you had it easy? Just write about your own experience and leave the horror stories to those who are actually experiencing them and come here for guidance and support.

 

Sometimes it feels like you are saying "my quit was easy cause I'm a strong lady but you may find it difficult because you dont have the strong willed personality that i do". Whether thats what you wre saying, i dont know but yhats how it comes across to me. Its a matter of perspective.

Sarge is saying it can be easy peasy for everyone. I agree with this.

 

Before i quit, I believed it took a special kind of strong willed person to be able to quit and I didn't have that strength. Thank God I came for support and learned that it was a lie or I might still be a smoker today.

 

I do believe everyone can find it easy peasy but not everyone does. There is a difference.

[Ladybug]

I believe addiction is a complex subject and should be addressed as such. There is no one-fixes-all solution. It was easy for me, but it is obviously hard for others, something that can be seen especially on this board. All the successful quitters, like you Babs, were already non-smokers when they came here from another board. As far as I can see it this board hasn't "produced" a non-smoker yet, but had to deal with a lot of relapses...over and over. Watching this from a distance shows clearly the difference in people, as well as the different approaches. 

 

You can't just throw a word like "addict" around without digging deeper....that's at least what I believe and I try to understand. I think it's great that some like me or the Sarge had it "Easy Peasy", but I believe it could be very discouraging to all the people who struggle. Quitting is easy for some; it is hard for others and seems even impossible for a lot of smokers...there are so many faces to addiction. I haven't found the answers yet and can't automatically assume that my quit was the "way to go"...that would be like ignoring the facts. Platitudes and slogans don't help everybody. 

 

No worries, I think you all are doing great and "Easy Peasy" is great as well. No hard feelings, I thought this board could help some of my readers. 

[action]

I believe addiction is a complex subject and should be addressed as such. There is no one-fixes-all solution. It was easy for me, but it is obviously hard for others, something that can be seen especially on this board. All the successful quitters, like you Babs, were already non-smokers when they came here from another board. As far as I can see it this board hasn't "produced" a non-smoker yet, but had to deal with a lot of relapses...over and over. Watching this from a distance shows clearly the difference in people, as well as the different approaches. 

 

You can't just throw a word like "addict" around without digging deeper....that's at least what I believe and I try to understand. I think it's great that some like me or the Sarge had it "Easy Peasy", but I believe it could be very discouraging to all the people who struggle. Quitting is easy for some; it is hard for others and seems even impossible for a lot of smokers...there are so many faces to addiction. I haven't found the answers yet and can't automatically assume that my quit was the "way to go"...that would be like ignoring the facts. Platitudes and slogans don't help everybody. 

 

No worries, I think you all are doing great and "Easy Peasy" is great as well. No hard feelings, I thought this board could help some of my readers. 

 

Hi Bug :)

 

I would like to think that my quit was 'a middle of the road' quit - not really, really hard, but certainly not what I would call 'easy' (no, definitely not easy!)!

 

I am sure that this board can (and has) helped some of your readers that came here.  It's true that some people have relapsed (as they may have done no matter what board or support community they were a member of - if someone REALLY wants to smoke, then there is not much we can do about it), but we also have members who have become (and remain) non-smokers that came to us as smokers, or very, very new non-smokers :)  So, I guess you could say that we 'produced' non-smokers (or at least helped non-smokers stay smoke-free, which I think is even harder).

 

You know as well as me that everyone's opinions are different, but I really do believe in my heart that this place can offer something to people in their quit smoking journeys... just like it has for me ;)

 

Speak to you soon, Bug :wub:

[Ladybug]

Hi Bug :)

 

I would like to think that my quit was 'a middle of the road' quit - not really, really hard, but certainly not what I would call 'easy' (no, definitely not easy!)!

 

I am sure that this board can (and has) helped some of your readers that came here.  It's true that some people have relapsed (as they may have done no matter what board or support community they were a member of - if someone REALLY wants to smoke, then there is not much we can do about it), but we also have members who have become (and remain) non-smokers that came to us as smokers, or very, very new non-smokers :)  So, I guess you could say that we 'produced' non-smokers (or at least helped non-smokers stay smoke-free, which I think is even harder).

 

You know as well as me that everyone's opinions are different, but I really do believe in my heart that this place can offer something to people in their quit smoking journeys... just like it has for me ;)

 

Speak to you soon, Bug :wub:

 

Oh Ross, you know I can't resist you my friend :-)

 

I never thought about myself as an addict, but when I quit smoking I have been told I am one, so I had to deal with it. That means to me I needed to educate myself about addiction...and that's what I am still trying to do. The first thing you learn when you research the word "addiction" is that you will always be one. No cure, no healing!  It was so easy for me to quit smoking, only a few tough days...but nothing serious (so far). But maybe that will change in 10 years from now. Maybe there will be a situation in my future, when I will have to face the demon out of the blue. Relapse after years ..not unheard of.

 

Giving up an addiction can be so hard on some, I could read about it every day. It showed clearly that people react differently. 

 

Lets be honest, there are worst addiction in this world than smoking. Drugs, alcohols and pills that's some serious stuff that can alter the brain. Then there is the addiction to food and obesity is the result of it and its a hell of an addiction, costing us Billions. Every addiction is different and so are we, the people dealing with it. 

 

I DO NOT believe in a one-fixes-all solution...it's much more complex than that. I think Easy Peasy is great, because it shows that it is indeed possible to have an easy quit (for some)... BUT there is more to it and we only hit the tip of the iceberg...we should listen!

 

I think this board has a lot to offer...absolutely!