A Pound of Prevention...

[DenaliBlues]

Hello friends, and hello, me.

 

I will be offline for a while, going into circumstances that feel perilous, that I associate strongly with smoking. I feel vulnerable. So I am setting an intention here to protect my quit.

 

I’m going on vacation – my first true vacation in a long time - and heading into the backcountry of my homeland. I have spent countless happy hours there smoking and tending the campfire… smoking and drinking strong tea… smoking and glassing the horizon for caribou, moose and bears… smoking and fishing. I am carrying my father’s ashes to a river where memory and sorrow both run deep. Dad died during the pandemic lockdowns, and now it’s time to take him home and set him free in the place where I want my own ashes to go, to intermingle with the ancient glacial silt and flow toward the sea.

 

Triggers abound. While packing yesterday, I found myself fiddling with multiple lighters and tucking matches into tiny ziplocs, “just in case.” Without pausing to think, I automatically grabbed the old film canisters I used for my butts while hiking and fishing. Even with 18 months under my belt, smoking is still deep in my tissues. Triggers, triggers.

 

After more than 40 years of smoking, the associations and triggers are tenacious. I guess I can’t change that past. But today I want to change how I respond to those cravings. So I am coming here to set an intention. I shall build new neural pathways. When the grief and homesickness come, I will greet them and care for them, without shutting them out by smoking. Smoking never healed a wound, never brought anyone back that I’ve lost, never made anything better. Returning to bondage and a life of constant poison is not an option.

 

I will be out of cell range a lot and probably won't be able to post an SOS in real time. So I say it now: NOPE, NOPE, a thousand times NOPE. My quit is too hard-earned to throw it away. When the longing to smoke wells up, I shall channel all you good souls here who cheer each other on and have helped me by explaining things, reassuring me, distracting me, making me laugh, helping me stay accountable. What would you all say? I’ll try to imagine your voices in my head. You’d tell me to keep my quit.

 

And so I shall.

[overcome]

23 minutes ago, DenaliBlues said:

What would you all say?

 

NOPE!

[MLMR]

Wow. This is a great, self caring way to secure your quit. This means you wish yourself truth and health. I wish you just that. Have a good time, do what you need to. Its ok to experience every second of it, greeting it like you said. Again, wow. 

[jillar]

You got this @DenaliBlues, so many of us have found that all the fear and hype up to going away wasn't nearly as bad as they thought it would be. This I hope for you too  

Have a safe time and just remember to take your tools and leave the can in the garbage where it should be!

[Paul723]

Quote

No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man.

 

This might help.  You can't unlearn all you know about smoking at this point.  We hid behind a lot of lies when we smoked, we don't need to after we quit.

[Gus]

Paul said it best. You can’t unlearn what you know. And besides you said, 

2 hours ago, DenaliBlues said:

Returning to bondage and a life of constant poison is not an option.

You say goodbye to your dad in the way that you know he would have wanted. Invoking all that he loved most about your home. But you uphold your vow to protect your quit by vowing to protect the beautiful, pure, unravaged wilderness where you will set your dad free. You can’t do that if you are exhaling 1000’s of chemicals into the air and why would you allow NicoDemon to come in and take control of such a solemn occasion refusing to allow you to give your memories and grief the attention they deserve while placing those chains back on you and why, why, why would you bring those vile, wretched, murderous tobacco companies along to snicker and roll their eyes at your misfortune while planning to trap you into paying for their multimillion dollar lifestyles? You’ve got this, Denali. My thoughts will be with you! Take care!

[Brioski]

I wish I could say something as eloquently as you often put things but…..

 

 

One thing that’s been helping me with the sugar/carbs thing but can apply w smoking I suppose is to try to envision beyond the act of eating something (or smoking) (bc most ppl are excited/lose progress when envisioning the lead up and act of eating something delicious (or smoking)) and instead imagine how you’ll feel afterwards, the thoughts, your body, your energy, your zen, etc. and it helps!!

 

All love to you gf and I do hope you enjoy TF outa your vaca!!  What an honorable thing you’re doing with your dad’s ashes, I hope to do something like that too one day.
 

 

P.S. Will you be sending a substitute for chicks or sticks? Between you and Dor missing in action idk what we’ll do

Edited September 11, 2023 by Brioski

[Reciprocity]

True this trip will evoke many triggers but perhaps you can also think of it as an adventure to enjoy in a renewed way because now you can do so without being a slave to nicotine. 

 

I love what you said about your Dad's ashes. That's just beautiful. He'd be oh so proud of you for doing this for him as well as the fact that you are now quit! His love will warm your heart as he looks down on you. I think you'll be just fine  

 

Enjoy!

[Christian99]

So beautifully and thoughtfully written, DB--during your travels, feel the supportive energy of your quit compatriots.  

 

Be well--

Christian99

[johnny5]

How are things going @DenaliBlues    ?

Edited October 4, 2023 by johnny5

[DenaliBlues]

Hi, friends. I'm back online now, after a much needed stretch of being unplugged. My time away was wonderful. There were definitely many moments of temptation... I still associate "relishing the moment" with smoking, and I still want to pickle my feelings with smoke when I feel sad or mad. But I was able to "NOPE" my way through those times. Evoking all of you in my mind really helped... as did the idea that I've worked really hard for this quit, and I don't want to throw it away and have to start all over again. So I'm back - still on the Train - still gratefully smoke free. Thanks again for helping me stay on track! 

[overcome]

Welcome back buddy!

So happy to hear from you and glad you had a wonderful time! 

Edited October 15, 2023 by overcome

[jillar]

Glad to have you back and with that awesome quit intact! ☺ 

[Brioski]

Welcome back, so glad you enjoyed your time away and so glad you’re still on the train
 

[Gus]

Welcome back Denali!

[Lust4Life2016]

@DenaliBlues

Yay! I’m glad you were able to recharge, regroup, relax & not relapse!  Welcome back! 

[Doreensfree]

Good to see you D x

[Angeleek]

Hello!  Excellent way to keep your quit, congrats!