Facing it

[Gus]

Hop down off that fence 

M and try this again. We are here for you and want to see you quit forever. You are so clever with your words. Use them. Day and night. Whenever you have the need. No matter the tone. 

[overcome]

That is a great one Gus ....... M you have not Failed until you quit Trying ....... perfect! 

Edited September 20, 2023 by overcome

[MLMR]

16 hours ago, Gus said:

Hop down off that fence 

M and try this again. We are here for you and want to see you quit forever. You are so clever with your words. Use them. Day and night. Whenever you have the need. No matter the tone. 

Thanks. That tone  is whats frightening me the most. Im very afraid of becoming this ugly, moodswinging person. Thanks for saying that. I am ALSO very afraid of lung cancer and everyrthing else that is smoke related misery. 
 

Just read that Erwin Olaf died after a lung transplantation, after having lung emphysema. He was the most talented photographer in the Netherlands ever. Must be horrific for his loved ones. Sh*t. 

[MLMR]

Ok, choice is mine I wrote earlier. Im super nervous and I despise that. Got to become friends with me again. Starting now. 

So, nope.

[intoxicated yoda]

That's the spirit @MLMR you can do this

[jillar]

You got this mlmr  

[Paul723]

Embrace the change.  You can do it.

[d2e8b8]

On 9/19/2023 at 12:40 PM, MLMR said:what does it matter anyway. 

It matters @MLMR.  To you and others.

[Doreensfree]

We believe in you …believe in yourself …you’ve,e got this x

[Brioski]

Fall into the feels M…..it’ll be uncomfortable at times but then it’s not

We’re here for u gf!!

[MLMR]

Dear quittrainers, just a quick note to let you know that im giving up quitting for now. Simply can’t muster up the energy at this moment. I am not content with that, but I have to give myself some slack at this point. My mental health is too wobbly and there’s too much happening at once.
 

The thing is, I do know that for every reason I’d give for this ‘decision’, there’s a million counter reasons. And it makes me feel like an ass, because I KNOW my addictbrain is in the lead now. And eventually there’s only one way -> forward. I soooo much regret the days after my 4+ and 5+ year quit where i somehow thought it was a good plan to light up again. 
 

I’ll be back for sure. Thanks a lot for the support. 

Edited September 26, 2023 by MLMR

[Reciprocity]

You know your situation best @MLMR. I believe you also know what we all know which is that smoking is damaging to us in a number of ways so no lectures from me on that. 

 

Hope your life and mental health situation improves sooner than later so you can get back to quitting with a high level of passion, which as we all know is required to be successful.

 

Until we see you again, be well!

[Doreensfree]

Never give up....giving up..

Hope we see you soon x

[Gus]

Take care @MLMR! Take care to ground and strengthen yourself daily. Get up. Get out. Go forward. Baby steps if you’ve gotta. Then you come back here ready to take giant leaps and bounds to get this addiction done and gone for good. We will be here waiting.

[Lust4Life2016]

@MLMR I respect your honesty. Please do not leave the forum. Stick around and read-think of it as conditioning or training to achieve your ultimate goal… saying goodbye to this horrible cycle for good. 

 

Do what needs to be done.

 

It is Your Life, Your Recovery.  

We’ll be here when you’re ready. 
 

L4L
 

 

 

[d2e8b8]

Sorry to hear @MLMR  I believe you can do this.  Hope you'll try again soon.

[MLMR]

Just had an appointment with my gp. She confirmed what I already feared: arthrosis in my hands, ankles and most likely knees. As a result of hypermobility. Been having joint pain/stiffness for over ten years, but I professionally ignored it, or thought it had to do with my mental health problems. So, uhm, yeah … have to make a plan for the long run (HA-HA but no) I guess. 
 

Got a referral for photos of both knees. Will be seeing a podiatrist. After that, gonna make a plan together with a medical physiotherapist to increase muscle strength but also to get to know my physical boundaries better and not lose myself in either pushing the limits, or exercise as little as possible. Balance, not really my thing. 
 

We also talked about quitting smoking and how disappointed I was after two weeks of non-smoking and pain because of excessive walking, while at the same time it felt so good mentally. 
 

Its sinking in that this will require a lifestyle change. Its a all bit overwhelming tbh. But I guess once thats over, this will help me figure out how I can start to take better care of my self. 
 

 

 

Edited October 4, 2023 by MLMR

[Gus]

Ugh. Life’s changes. I’m sorry for your diagnosis.  An anti inflammatory diet helps tremendously also. 

[jillar]

I too am sorry and hope you find relief soon.  Quitting smoking sooner rather than later will increase circulation to your hands and feet which I'm sure would help you in therapy. Something to think about....................

[Doreensfree]

Have to agree with the above ..

Quitting can only be better for your health ..x

 

[Reciprocity]

At least you know what's going on so that's a start. Hopefully you can figure out a plan with the help of the other medical people that will work for you.