***** ****** whats wrong with me!!!!!!

[Nancy]

Susana, you have pulled this stunt before and many of us have seen it...every time you take a break you disappear and come back several months later to start, again.  Why are you doing this to yourself?

[babs609]

oh susana....why?  don't let that scumbag junkie win.  Don't.  Please don't take a puff.  That's all you have to do.  Not take that puff. 

[Pippa]

Susana - just logged on and saw this - first off I hope you are feeling better !

 

I agree with the others - the last thing you need now is a posting holiday - in fact you need to make a commitment to posting every day and often! We all want to provide support but can't do it if you go away - you know from previous times what happens when you take a " break " - so just don't do it !

 

Love you heaps - so stick around !

[NayNay]

Susana, I can't really offer much more than what has been said here already.  However, I really think you might want to avoid drinking alcohol during your quit at this time.  Alcohol is a HUGE trigger when quitting.  Since I've only been on this board for about a week or so, I am not familiar with your previous relapses. But, just the fact that you have relapsed tells me that you are struggling in your mind with this quit.  You need to continually remind yourself that you do not smoke; you are a non-smoker.  If you are solid in your quit, no neighbors smoking smells would bother me enough to cause me to romance that thought of smoking again.  You must get it in your mind that you do not want to smoke; smoking will kill you; smoking will cause you to lose limbs; smoking will make you look older than you are; smoking causes wrinkles.  Do you really want to deal with all that?  No.  You don't!

 

I hope you fell asleep and are resting now.  Hopefully you are dreaming about being smoke free and happy.  Sweet dreams doll.

[MarylandQuitter]

Dont know. I may take a holiday from posting. I can see why im a danger to people's quits. I have kept away from controversy and discussion but still. Im a dofficult petson. I know that.

 

I think I read a post of yours the other day about getting ready for some tough love.  Perhaps you subconsciously were referring to yourself. 

 

So you're choosing this road...again.  "Woe is me", Susana.  You've sewn the seeds of relapse and now you're watering them.  You're not a danger to anyone's quit but your own.

 

What controversy have you stayed away from?  I don't see any of that here, only excuses for you to use to rationalize staying away from your support group when things get tough and the inevitable relapse which always follows..  Tuck your chin and keep pressing forward.

 

You have a choice.  Either you choose to smoke or quit.  If you choose to smoke, you get all the crap that comes along with it.

[beacon]

Ps we love you

 

:)

[Pippa]

Ps we love you

:)

What Beacon said

[El Bandito]

Good morning Chica!

 

Just a guess - but sore head today? -_-

 

We are both addicts - and sometimes our addiction gets some wind in its sails. When it does we beat it by allowing our rational minds to triumph over our emotional, impulsive side (or Chimp as Sharon calls it)

 

Booze - feeds the Chimp - making it harder for us to win the argument.

 

Its not you Susana. Its all of us. We are addicts. The good news is that each time you win one of these - you get stronger. The episodes come less and less.

 

Me - I am in a packet. On the outside is written "Instant Idiot. Just add alcohol."

 

I hope you held out last night - remember HALT...and be vigilant.

[Still winning]

What Beacon said

What beacon and pippa said.  We love you and selfishly want you here! How are you this morning? x

[John_Doe]

Susana, you were one of the first people who extended a hand to me when I came to the boards. I started the quit reading your posts and I truly appreciate your support. You are not a danger to anyone's quit but yours. Remember and read your last SOS, maybe you're forgetting why you wanted to quit in the first place? Smoking won't solve anything at all. It's 100% fact. Everyone who had a relapse will tell you that, and that's everybody (I think) here. Please don't do this. 

[action]

Susana, I hope to see you pledging NOPE this morning, with your quit in tact...

[sharonsiff]

Susana, I hope to see you pledging NOPE this morning, with your quit in tact...

Me too, I hope you weathered the mental storm xx

[Doreensfree]

Sue...

Get here and post your n.o.p.e.....otherwise....

May be you would like to spend a week with me and tony at our house....

Don't pack much.....you wont be going sight seeing....only 1 small oxygen tank that last 4 hours....when we are out.....

We could take turns though of pushing him to doctors appointment,in his wheel chair....

Please pack ear plugs ,as that oxygen tank can be noisy....I'm used to it now......

Mind you don't trip on all the tubing,there has to be enought for tony to get around.....

You might get woken up a few times a night....once tony is in bed ,he carnt get up again....to use the bathroom...so needs my help...

If you smoke you will need to go as far away from the house as you can......

Thought you might like to know Tony's smoked too....

Hugs xx

[SueBeDoo]

How's the head luv ??

Do me a favour and read back over this entire thread when you wake up and see how much that stupid junkie was swinging out of you, holding your legs as you tried to walk, it was a pain in the arse, it reminded me of when someone else's child has there two hands wrapped tightly around one of your legs and you try to walk, you wanna just fling the little fecker half way down the street.

Stop romancing it and stop with the rediculous excuses, you don't smoke, you're a non smoker so that option is off the table.

I know you don't want to reset that might fine ticker of yours.

 

We care too much to see you do this to yourself, when we know you do not want to be a smoker again.

Walking away from posting is not your answer, I think walking away from booze for a little while is what you need to do.

Hope you're ok this morning, alot of people are worried about you so check in when ye get a chance xxxx

[Susana]

Just to let you know. I'm still smoke-free. Still in a mood from hell but that I will have to sort out separately.

Thank you.

[El Bandito]

You BEAUTY!

 

Well done Susana. So proud of you.

[Doreensfree]

That's my girl......you know it makes sense......

Huge xx

[action]

Just to let you know. I'm still smoke-free. Still in a mood from hell but that I will have to sort out separately.

Thank you.

(((Susana))) - proud of you.

[Still winning]

Atta girl!!  Some craves really take you and suck you right into them ey!!  Good fight my lovely. xx

[SueBeDoo]

Proud of ye x

[sharonsiff]

Good work my lovey, good work xx

[ChRiSpY]

Nice job Sunshine.  Keep going ...keep pushing... nothing worth while is ever easy.

 

This smoke free thing... is so worth while

 

Keep on keepin on

[Devil Doll]

Just to let you know. I'm still smoke-free. Still in a mood from hell but that I will have to sort out separately.

Thank you.

Great job Susana. I am proud of you!

We don't mind you being in the mood from hell. Kick, scream, and fight. Post your anger and frustration... blog it... just don't internalize it, get it out. 

[Susana]

At last! I love my keyboard!!!! Nice and big and clickety-clickie, not that stupid phone of mine.

 

Thank you for all your sympathetic words, specially pungent those from Jackie. Jackie, if I´m still here posting and non-smoking is in a very good part thanks to you being here posting and non-smoking. If you hadn´t come back to tell your story probably both of us would be by now in a worse place. Yay you! :)

 

I wasn´t drunk. I´m driving now and to leave the urbanisation you need to go through "check point Carlos" and the chances of being breathalised going in or out at any time are rather high (at an average of 1,500€ per fine, this is their particular Summer bonanza). Even with a hungover you can test positive with these breathalisers, you know... maybe just "traces" but whilst carrying my "L" I can´t afford even traces. So I have reduced my drinking massively.

 

Maybe I should drive less and drink more. I´m more fun when I´m drunk. And driving amongst all the idiots of Europe at their highest level of stupidity is definitely not fun.

 

I hope you don´t think that I´m posting SOS to get attention because it is not the case. I´m probably posting now all those SOS that I should have posted previously instead of disappearing and... well, we all know the story. That story was definitely not fun, and it is not even interesting to read, it just goes on and on with the same ending after every single chapter. Booooooring. Let´s see if I manage to change the ending this time. Happy ending for once.

 

Fortunately here. Thanks to the administrator and the moderators here we don´t have any controversial threads or heated stressful debates which solve nothing and only help put people on edge. It is me who has lashed out at least once (sorry) and have stopped myself just a micro-second before pressing "send" in many occasions. I don´t want to be the one breaking the peace here. That´s what I meant. In my current diabolical mood... I hope it will not happen. Or I´ll stick to the appropriate "venting" thread depending on the amount of swearing likely to come out of my fingers.

 

Thanks particularly to those who have expressed their personal concern by PM. Please be assured there is nothing seriously wrong with me. I´m just going through a difficult period generally: midlife crisis + weigh gain + lots of work - holidays - money + problem friends - nice friends + 40 Celsius + noisy neighbours - energy - desire to get up in the morning + millions of tourists that don´t know where they are going + new Laws passed in the middle of August = a very frustrated, angry and diabolically moody Susana :girl_cray2: .

 

At least all this opening up, which I´m not usually comfortable with, makes me not inclined in the slightest to throw away this quit. No way. If I have to SOS every week, so be it. Just ignore me. Sometimes just gathering the courage to admit you are in trouble and vocalise it, or rather, type it, even in a teensy weensy phone keyboard, may make a difference.

 

:give_heart2:  Love you all.

[action]

I hope you don´t think that I´m posting SOS to get attention because it is not the case.   Love you all.

 

I would never think that, even if you posted one every day!

 

And please do not worry about potentially offending me when you are in a bad mood - I would rather you type some swear words here if it is going to help you.  Remmebr that that your quit is all that should matter to you, and we will be here to support you, whenever you need us.

 

Love you, too :wub: