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[Susana]

I want to smoke.

 

I´m only posting my SOS out of respect for you. These are the rules. I´ll wait for three responses. 

 

Sorry.

[Frezflops]

honey NO!!!!!!!!!!! Yes I am yelling at you....DO NOT RUIN WHAT YOU HAVE WORKED SOOOOOO HARD TO ACHIEVE DAMN IT!!!!!!! Breathe, drink lots of water, juice whatever. JUST DONT SMOKE.......jump up and down, scream, go for a run or a walk, meditate JUST DONT SMOKE!!!!!! You have 23 days do not mess that up it is awesome you CAN get through whatever is going on without a cigarette you KNOW THIS!!!! Dont make me fly or swim to spain to kick your butt!!!! NO seriously though please do not smoke hun......it WILL NOT MAKE ANYTHING BETTER it will only serve to make it worse you know that think logically dont let the addiction do your thinking for you please...

Are you still here?

[John_Doe]

Susana, just breath in for a minute and think about this carefully. Do you really really need it? What do you think will it bring? Awful taste in the mouth, stink on your clothes and hair and reinforced addiction, which will call you whenever it likes and you'll run to it again. Do not return to slavery. Be free. Enjoy fresh air and tasty food. Take a shower. You didn't come this far to throw it all away. Try to remember why you wanted to quit. All that bad stuff will return with the first puff you'll take.

[Nancy]

Susana, you have been torturing yourself for over a year that I know of. ..do you really want to start over again? Don't smoke out of respect for yourself, not out of respect for us.

[Aine]

children: number one reason for me. No matter what I tell myself when I want the relief of a drag for a momentary buzz, it is the heights of self absorption to believe I am not actively abusing my 13 year old son.

 

Reality: I don't want to smoke a cigarette. I want to smoke MANY cigarettes. Quickly and frequently until I die. Which, given my 3 pack a day habit, probably was not as far in the future as I had hoped.

 

Don't lie to yourself, get past the momentary ( minutes or days) discomfort. Believe all of us when we say it gets better. Not quickly or overnight for many of us, but each day is easier and more comfortable than the previous one.

 

Your body says you HAVE to. It lies.

[Doreensfree]

Susana,

You have to fight this....to win any war ,you have to fight....

If you smoke you know you would hate yourself.....back to square one.....

Come on....I smoked 50 odd years.....don't you think I had a fight.....but I wouldn't give in.....no matter what....

Smoking is not on the table.....right.....

[Frezflops]

Susanna are you with us please post to let us know how you are doing

[beacon]

Por favor, mi amiga, no fumar ahora. Adonde estas?

[Doreensfree]

Talk to us sweetheart......tell us how your feeling....

[beacon]

I checked the other site too but do not see you anywhere? Listen, at times I want to smoke too but I don't because I no longer smoke.

[Tink]

No Susana

 

Just NO

 

Scream, shout hit or kick something

 

Punch the crap out of a cushion

 

Drink a large glass of water and stuff your face with olives and other yummy Spanish food

 

You can get past this

 

Fake it until you make it

 

Tell yourself over and over you do not and will not smoke no matter what

 

Tommorow will be a better day and you will not have to ho through all this again

 

I am on team Susana

 

I want to hear a NOPE

 

Come on girl!!!

[Susana]

Hi. I´m back.

 

I was going to the shop. I was going to throw my quit away. Just like that.

 

Well, not "just like that". Since last night I´ve been doubting my quit and feeling really anxious. This morning I lost it. It was physical, it was mental. It wasn´t good. It´s day three without nicotine. I looked for chewing gum but I couldn´t find any. There is where I cracked. In my search I found a blister of ****zepam, so I took one after lunch, with glass of wine, and seeing it wasn´t working, I posted the SOS with the intention of going to the shop.

 

Then it worked. It knocked me out. And I just wake up now. Dizzy.

 

Dizzy but still quit.

 

I hope it is just a temporary thing and tomorrow I´ll be back to normal.

 

Thank you for responding and I apologise for worrying you.

 

Thank you.

 

And please do not even think of mixing medicines and alcohol. Never. OK?

[...]

Susana, I am so glad to hear you didn't smoke.  You know there are gonna be some rough patches.  But you also know that the longer you stick this out.... the easier those rough patches get.  Everytime we fail a quit, we reinforce the next failed quit. 

 

The time has come for us to quit playing with our minds and get this done right !!

 

You are doing so good.  Don't throw it away.  Do everything you can to make this quit stick.  Make the decision to do whatever it takes to get you where you want to be.  And that's smokefree. 

 

YOU ROCK !!!!

[Aine]

Hi. I´m back.

 

I was going to the shop. I was going to throw my quit away. Just like that.

 

Well, not "just like that". Since last night I´ve been doubting my quit and feeling really anxious. This morning I lost it. It was physical, it was mental. It wasn´t good. It´s day three without nicotine. I looked for chewing gum but I couldn´t find any. There is where I cracked. In my search I found a blister of ****zepam, so I took one after lunch, with glass of wine, and seeing it wasn´t working, I posted the SOS with the intention of going to the shop.

 

Then it worked. It knocked me out. And I just wake up now. Dizzy.

 

Dizzy but still quit.

 

I hope it is just a temporary thing and tomorrow I´ll be back to normal.

 

Thank you for responding and I apologise for worrying you.

 

Thank you.

 

And please do not even think of mixing medicines and alcohol. Never. OK?

Day 3 does seem to be pretty rough for most of us. It was terrible for me. Better after that until day 7, then a couple of pretty good weeks until a few bad hours around week 3. Hang in. It can be done and you can do it. Big tobacco loves to spread the lie that relapse is almost a foregone conclusion. They lie, too

[Susana]

This is from my "I can´t wait to quit" introduction:

 

 

There will be times when I have to go through really bad days. There may be times when I will feel "down" and the walls that keep away the "nothing matters thought" may start to weaken. This is when I´ve relapsed in the past. How can I prevent this in the future? I´M NOT SURE :-( By being more open, maybe?. If I feel a bad moment coming, that may jeopardise my quit, I´ll tell people about how I´m feeling. I´ll tell my "real friends" in person, go for a glass of wine and talk about it, and if I have to cry I´ll cry, and if I need a hug, just ask for a hug?. And I´ll post about it. I´ve always been very afraid of being too "personal" on the board, whereas I did open my mind and soul to a couple of friends by PM or email. This time I will post. In public. Or vent. Or whatever. And if everything fails and I reach the "nothing matters" point, I will make a mission of posting an SOS. Fffff.... HERE lies my worry.

 

I  just want to kick myself in the bum... hard... that was me talking one month ago.... and this is me one month later, having learned nothing. Oh, I just find it so difficult to open up!!!!!

[El Bandito]

Susana.

 

You wanted to relapse.

 

Every single person here has felt that.

 

You didn't.

 

Therefore you won't.

 

It may not feel like it, but a huge victory was won today.

[Paul723]

You can't abstain, you are done with smoking. Believe this!

[Still winning]

While I was out?!!!  I bloody next to never go out, typical!!

 

You nearly threw your quit away?  For what Susana, really, what was so awful that killing your body, literally poisoning it seemed like a fantastic option??  

 

Go back and read stories of women, younger and older then us who never thought it would be them! Go watch a smoker, see the "catch" as their throat tries to absorb poisons. Listen to the cough as the body and specifically lungs of the addict tries to dispel the toxins, but it can't, there's just too many!!

 

My heart hurts for how hard it is, we all remember the battle. Youwon this one, although I'm a bit sketchy about your methods because I care for youbut we'll chat about that another time if you choose too.  

 

For now, please know day 3 nicotine free can suck balls, the way through it is to not smoke. We don't smoke anymore, we are non smokers and we are your cheerleaders saying, LOOK YOU ARE ALREADY DOING IT, just keep on, one foot in front of the other.

 

How ya doing now?

[beacon]

Why are you being mean to yourself? You wanted to smoke alot but you didn't.

[Susana]

Hi. Thanks for your responses. I can feel you do care. Thanks.

 

I feel fine now.

 

I´m glad I didn´t smoke.

 

I´m not glad I have to deal with these weaknesses at this time. I should have prepared myself better...

[Aine]

Hi. Thanks for your responses. I can feel you do care. Thanks.

 

I feel fine now.

 

I´m glad I didn´t smoke.

 

I´m not glad I have to deal with these weaknesses at this time. I should have prepared myself better...

It is not weakness. It is addiction. Nature of the beast, I'm afraid. Killable, however!

[Still winning]

You know what I'm just glad you held on.

 

Aine is right, totally an addiction thing, some people do the easy thing, others do the "hang on by a thread thing"!

 

I think you are doing so well though, truly I do.  I also think you have learnt more then you realize, cause you held this quit. That you've called a whole lotta names, you held it anyway.

 

But honestly, read some more. Help is best when it resonates deep inside of you and some of the stories and writing just will. 

 

And seriously, well done on the sos. I know you hate saying you need help or something is bad...bloody ace job!!

[beacon]

Isn't this the purpose of this forum? To help each other? I mean the cat stuff is fun but really we are here to help each other not to smoke. One is supposed to post an sos! :)

[action]

How are you feeling now Susana?

[John_Doe]

This is from my "I can´t wait to quit" introduction:

 

Keep this somewhere near. Cause after some time we tend to forget why we wanted to quit and what we felt while being smokers. 

 

Glad that you saved your quit, but those ****zepams are nasty stuff too...