Updates

[overcome]

Happy smokeless Friday everyone, sorry I am late ! 

[jillar]

13 hours ago, intoxicated yoda said:

  I think most people do which is why so few of us succeed. 

According to the CDC website:

Smokers can and do quit smoking for good. In fact, since 2002 there have been more former smokers than current smokers.

The full article can be found here: https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/data_statistics/fact_sheets/cessation/smoking-cessation-fast-facts/index.html

[Brioski]

I just saw something like that on some social media site, and I wasn’t looking lol.  Our phones are always listening lol.

 

In 2005 20.9% of the US smoked and in 2020 it was 12.5%. I wonder how that coincides w vaping though, bc I read that sometimes vapers can be considered nonsmokers. why tf idk

 

https://www.cdc.gov/tobacco/data_statistics/fact_sheets/adult_data/cig_smoking/index.htm#:~:text=Current smoking has declined from,every 100 adults) in 2020. 

Edited April 28, 2023 by Brioski

[Brioski]

You guys I know I only posted 4 days ago but I’m having another doozy of a day w cravings. It was super hard this morning, maybe bc I woke up very early from my hubs alarm, 2:17am , and now have been working w him at our shop/business and I would normally have had like almost a full pack by now. Driving here I really thought to stop and get a pack, imagining that I would tell hubs, my mom, etc that I relapsed and I would just try again later. I’m struggling and I’m tired of struggling. Sorry for the junkie thinking over and over, I just can’t shake this today. Blegh. 

[intoxicated yoda]

hold the line @Brioski .  This will test the limits of your will.  No need to apologize because you are having a tough day.  That's what we are here for, those tough days.  In the meantime, don't put anything in your mouth and light it on fire.  

[jillar]

You got this one just like the others @Brioski, once past it's easier the next. Hang in there and do something you normally don't smoke while doing. A bath, eat, etc...........

And if the business is too much of a trigger right now maybe just go home and try again tomorrow........xoxo

[Doreensfree]

Sorry your having a bad day B.

On the plus side..your coming here and getting your feeling out ..

Your fighting that monster ,and winning your battles 

I wish i could jet you to the not too

Distant future...and let you see how wonderful and proud you will feel 

Hang in there ..

[Brioski]

I had Jillar’s voice in my head to do a quick update here . Also pictured (literally a frog smiling) Dor nodding and smiling in approval. 
So yesterday I got SO aggravated after a naturopath doctor appt ($$$) which was a follow up to a blood test, only to be told to “fix” all that’s wrong w me is to enroll in a thousands-of-dollar-class w her in a group….to which I said quite a number of expletives.  Lesson learned. Eff off lady. I’ve been really working on myself…going to therapy, I tried reiki and reflexology (cool but prob won’t do again lol), cardiologist, pulmonologist to make sure I’m ok, exercising a tad, etc.   Anyway after this appt I was so angry, but my first thing wasn’t dyingggg to go buy cigs. I did use my air cig and told hubs why don’t I just get a pack, even everything I’m doing this quack says I still have toxins, inflammation, and parasites in me - eff it! And he was sweet but I also wasn’t super serious like I was earlier in my quit. 
 

There has been many days where I don’t think abt cigs or smoking.  Which is pretty cool.  I still get upset abt stuff but only a couple times now abt cigs. I think I’m feeling real emotions….abt my late dad, late dog, miscarriages, health journey/loosing weight, etc. just more often bc I’m not using cigs to cope or cover up when im feeling sad. 
 

I think too for a while there I didn’t want to admit that I was feeling happier bc I was feeling better (breathing, not crying every other hour for cigs, etc). But now I can def say I feel happier….but still def think of cigs often….not necessarily crave them but sometimes want them. 
 

The other weekend though it was raining hard, I was folding laundry in my spare bedroom, I had on a 90s sitcom, and I had the thought that I’m glad I don’t smoke, this is a nice feeling.    yea I couldn’t believe it either. I also craved them later in the day lol.  

 

So that’s it.  I’m gonna keep chugging along but still early in my journey. 
 

Btw, we’re getting an in ground pool, just signed for it, so I’m very excited.  (Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t saved enough from quitting to get a pool, it’s something we’ve talked abt for years )

[jillar]

What a great update @Brioski, I'm so glad to see you having these good days now. Such a change from when you first started this thread

Congratulations on the in ground pool too. Your savings from quitting will probably more than cover the monthly electricity costs to run it

[Slow progress]

Your life is sounding pretty good tbh -ok you have some crappy bits mixed in but don’t we all?  The folding laundry story sounds just so cosy and relaxing and wow you don’t smell of smoke! I get the craving - really do - but I don’t want a cigarette. Unlike you I still crave a lot ….

and a beautiful pool to look forward to! Life is good

[overcome]

Big congrats @Brioski you are rockin it! 

[Doreensfree]

Yaaa...great update...

Your body is healing all the time .

Day by day ...

Im lovin it ...

Well done  

[Brioski]

I’ve been craving, more frequently and with intensity, for a couple of days now. It’s a weird craving, or trigger?, like strong but not at the same time. Got me emotional today. Is this “the threes” [dun dun dunnnn] that ppl speak of?  That’s a sneaky, snake-y, sucky thing for the nic addiction to pull.  
I feel pretty good (and it doesn’t make me super happy to admit that ). I’d like to think I’ll stay this way but I sometimes tell hubs don’t get mad at me if I go back. And I don’t know why I say that. I don’t want to be a smoker but in my addict mind they are appealing.  
Anyhoo, anyone see vanderpump rules last night? It’s been my trashy reality tv guilty pleasure recently

[Slow progress]

Hi brioski

sorry you’ve been having cravings but it’s great that you recognize what they are and also how good you feel!  Maybe you talk about failing just because we are used to failing at this!  I’m the same - I warn ppl close to me that I may start again - I won’t because I’m not going through this again!

 

you are doing so well - keep it up.

[DenaliBlues]

Hi @Brioski.
 

I, too, often hesitate to speak of my quit in terms of absolutes. Not because part of me is secretly planning to start smoking again. But because of the long shadow of lost quits in my past. I still have that failure stuck to my shoe. Also, my identity as a nonsmoker isn’t grown up yet. 
 

But despite all my caveats, this quit is the real deal! Like you said, @Slow progress, “…I won’t because I’m not going through this again!”

 

In a colossal irony, my having a really rugged quit - all my misery and the cravings and the messy process of coming to terms with addiction - have sort of saved me from myself. If quitting were easier for me, I might not perceive the cost of relapse to be so daunting. But because quitting is terribly tough, I’ll be damned if I am going to throw all that hard work away. My freedom is hard earned, and I’m gonna guard it like a momma bear!  
 

And until I have a more comfortable identity as a nonsmoker, I’ll wholly embrace my identity as a QUITTER. A subtle difference, perhaps. But a distinction that helps me simplify all the weird head games that addict-mind wants to play.

 

NOPE!!

[jillar]

@Brioski, there's something about the three's that make the nicodemon try to suck us back in. There's also No Man's Land which usually hits around three months. We have a thread about it and I also featured it as one of my Pick Of the Week blogs. I'll bump the thread for you.  Knowing its normal should help

@Slow progress and @DenaliBlues, I had the same feelings as you guys. My quit sucked and there's no way I want to go through that again! 

[jillar]

18 hours ago, Brioski said:

Anyhoo, anyone see vanderpump rules last night?

 

I did lol 

[Brioski]

Man oh man this addiction effs with you just when you least expect it, huh.  Me and hubs have been watching The Bear on Hulu (great show so far), and many of the main characters smoke, a lot. I wasn’t sure if it was going to bother me (I rolled my eyes first few times they smoked in the show lol), but it kinda is, and I felt a few hard craves for a day or two and now just dreamed I smoked (which only happened one other time the dream smoking). I definitely have thoughts of like ugh they get to smoke and I don’t. Not an SOS but just a WTF. 
 

Also, very exciting, the pool is underway….big ass hole in our yard, 10 ft dirt pile, pool kit/frame getting delivered today. You know what I think of doing when the pool’s done? Where my ashtray’s going to go.   What the hells wrong w me lol. 

[Paul723]

Nicotine is losing its hold on you and your subconscious knows it.  Hang in there and keep going.  You can put this addiction to sleep for good.

[QuittingGirl]

2 hours ago, Brioski said:

Man oh man this addiction effs with you just when you least expect it, huh.  Me and hubs have been watching The Bear on Hulu (great show so far), and many of the main characters smoke, a lot. I wasn’t sure if it was going to bother me (I rolled my eyes first few times they smoked in the show lol), but it kinda is, and I felt a few hard craves for a day or two and now just dreamed I smoked (which only happened one other time the dream smoking). I definitely have thoughts of like ugh they get to smoke and I don’t. Not an SOS but just a WTF. 
 

Also, very exciting, the pool is underway….big ass hole in our yard, 10 ft dirt pile, pool kit/frame getting delivered today. You know what I think of doing when the pool’s done? Where my ashtray’s going to go.   What the hells wrong w me lol. 

you can do it Brioski!! You are doing great!!  Keep it up, hang in there!  I definitely know how you are feeling as I still get the cravings once in a while as well.  

 

Hang in there!! 

[jillar]

2 hours ago, Brioski said:

I definitely have thoughts of like ugh they get to smoke and I don’t

 

I felt that way too until someone made me realize that they don't get to smoke, they HAVE to smoke. Even on tv they have to because the script calls for it. That being said if its messing with you then you may want to wait a while before watching another episode. You can always binge watch it down the road on a nice rainy day.

Congratulations on the pool, sounds like fun NO ASHTRAYS!!! 

[Doreensfree]

Take a look at how many actors died from smoking

They were given free cigerettes to advertise different brands .. 

Nearly all of the golden screne actors died due to a smoke related illness .

Your lucky ..you dont need to smoke anymore ..

Be thankful ...dont envy the poor smokers ..

 

[DenaliBlues]

4 hours ago, Brioski said:

Man oh man this addiction effs with you

For sure!!
 

Sorry you got slimed by a smoking dream, I hate those. So sneaky to pounce while we’re sleeping, for Pete’s sake! I, too, sometimes have those dreams. It can take hours or days to shake the feeling of being haunted by them. Very normal for addiction recovery, but still, YUCK! I also had a weird moment the other day leaving the house: I was preoccupied with other stuff and found myself patting my pants pocket to be sure I had my smokes and lighter with me. !?!? That pocket has been empty since early 2022, yet the muscle memory still lingers. It’s just bananas. 

 

A good reminder to always actively “tend” my quit… to engage here, do daily NOPEs, and keep reading. 

[QuittingGirl]

6 hours ago, Brioski said:

Man oh man this addiction effs with you just when you least expect it, huh.  Me and hubs have been watching The Bear on Hulu (great show so far), and many of the main characters smoke, a lot. I wasn’t sure if it was going to bother me (I rolled my eyes first few times they smoked in the show lol), but it kinda is, and I felt a few hard craves for a day or two and now just dreamed I smoked (which only happened one other time the dream smoking). I definitely have thoughts of like ugh they get to smoke and I don’t. Not an SOS but just a WTF. 
 

Also, very exciting, the pool is underway….big ass hole in our yard, 10 ft dirt pile, pool kit/frame getting delivered today. You know what I think of doing when the pool’s done? Where my ashtray’s going to go.   What the hells wrong w me lol. 

Ohh I forgot to tell you, I had a dream about a week ago that I smoked too.  I took one puff in the dream and then I was so mad at myself.  I kept thinking that I'm going to have to change my ticker on here because I'm not quit over a month anymore.  When I woke up, I said to myself, thankfully it was just a dream....just like yours was.

 

I hope you are doing better now Brioski! 

[robin0212]

13 hours ago, Brioski said:

Man oh man this addiction effs with you just when you least expect it, huh.  Me and hubs have been watching The Bear on Hulu (great show so far), and many of the main characters smoke, a lot. I wasn’t sure if it was going to bother me (I rolled my eyes first few times they smoked in the show lol), but it kinda is, and I felt a few hard craves for a day or two and now just dreamed I smoked (which only happened one other time the dream smoking). I definitely have thoughts of like ugh they get to smoke and I don’t. Not an SOS but just a WTF. 
 

Also, very exciting, the pool is underway….big ass hole in our yard, 10 ft dirt pile, pool kit/frame getting delivered today. You know what I think of doing when the pool’s done? Where my ashtray’s going to go.   What the hells wrong w me lol. 

Drug dreams suck! It's underlying anxiety. May be a good thing! Fear of relapse means your happy being smober. Keep up the amazing work Brioski. There will be no ashtrays at the pool!